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[Mini-Phalla] Transmetrophallia: Of Press Conferences & Murder[Village Victory!]

FaranguFarangu I am a beardy manWith a beardy planRegistered User regular
edited August 2010 in Critical Failures
Of Press Conferences & Murder
Thanks go to The Ender & Mr. Blarney for design considerations and opinions.


"Can't. Taking a dump the size of a birthday cake."

"Can't. Trying to find a decent male prostitute for tonight using your credit cards."

Spider Jerusalem fumed. If he couldn't trust his filthy assistants to even respond to his massive, genitalia-engorging bellows...then he'd have to use someone else's voice. Namely, his gun's. He fired wildly into the air, which finally brought forth his two assistants.

"Jesus Christ, Spider. Give it a rest."

"NO! For tonight, finally our plan of vengeance goes into action. The Smiler's promised a series of press conferences throughout the city for the next week. Where he'll be delightfully vulnerable..."

The assistants straightened up. "Seriously? He's going to stump around the city?"

Spider nodded. "He has to, to have any shot at this next election. Now! Arm yourselves for the streets, filthy assistants!"

The devilish grin he used to brandish so frequently came back to his face for an instant.

"It's time to make sure that bastard gets what's his..."

President Gary Callahan, a.k.a The Smiler, originally took office with Spider Jerusalem's blessing, after a fashion. Spider, along with most of the journalists of the time, thought that anyone could be better than The Beast, whose election eight years ago Jerusalem celebrated by writing an article which was nothing but the word "Fuck" written eight thousand times. But then they found out that The Smiler was just as dirty than The Beast, and even more mentally unhinged.

When Spider saw through his choice of a straw man running mate for Vice President, The Smiler swore that he would take some special time to take care of Spider, and so far he's making good on his word. He got Jerusalem fired from his newspaper with a quick call to the Board of Directors, despite the actual newspaper staff standing for him. He destroyed all the evidence that Spider had gathered of The Smiler's wrongdoings. He even sent the National Guard after them, turning them into fugitives. All this led Spider to a conclusion.

There was legwork to be done. People to talk to. Columns to write, for whomever would read or listen. Even with a skeleton staff, it can be done.

It had to be done. Truth wasn't just going to tell itself.

This is a Mini-Phalla! There are spots for 26 people. For those who are not very familiar with the Transmetropolitan comic I'm basing this off of, A. SHAME. B. I'll try to provide as much background detail as I think you will find interesting or as much as you think you need to know your role. C. In case the prologue up there wasn't enough of a hint, the comic was very...graphic. As such, reading this in a place where people might be looking over your shoulder isn't advisable.

Each day's narration will be in the form of a press conference, hosted by President Callahan. The village, in this case, are the corporate media shills at each press conference. They've learned that if they're nice to The Smiler, he's nice to them, and they're tired of Jerusalem making them look bad anyways. They've figured that he's going to try something at these meetings, but Secret Service won't allow guns in here. Therefore, they've decided between them to fabricate evidence that he's been colluding with people in the press conference, hoping to draw him out by attacking his friends, since there's a standing death order on anyone thought to be colluding with Spider.

Of course, it'll be tricky to decide who takes the bullet for the team, since survival instincts in the future are still pretty high. Also, Spider's probably got the same idea...

Each day you will vote for someone to appear to be colluding with outlaw journalist Spider Jerusalem, and therefore exterminated, with the goal of hopefully catching him in one of his disguises. Some will only be the lowest of the media shills, invited to participate merely to avoid angering their parent companies, but some will actually have some talent in the journalism area, and have abilities to go with that.

Of course, this is the world of the professional media we are talking about. Everyone's got some skeletons in their closet that, God willing, nobody else will see. With that in mind, some roles will have a secret quality(or drawback) associated with them. MENTIONING YOUR OWN SECRET TO ANYBODY WILL RESULT IN VERY BAD THINGS HAPPENING TO YOU. No hints, gestures, PM's, nothing. However, if you were to happen upon someone else's secret... Sky's the limit.

Votes in Red, Retractions(if necessary) in Lime, clarifications in Orange. Each person must post at least twice a day, one of which can't just be "Oh look here I am." Vote close will be at 10 P.M. CST. I must have a link to any proboards. No direct quoting of role PM's.

Order of actions: Vote kill, Defensive abilities, Mafia kill, Offensive abilities, Other. The vote will not trickle. In a tie, the first one to reach the total vote dies.

Self guarding is possible.

You will not outright be told if your actions were successful. See #62.

Guards can possibly be overwhelmed.

Vanillager PM:
You are:


A reporter! The Smiler hasn't really taken any actions against your paper yet, and that's something you would want to continue. What better way to get in with the President than by handing him his arch-enemy? You win when the mafia has been eliminated.

Of course, most people see you as just a corporate shill, not a reporter. Unbeknownst to them, though, you've got a trick or two up your sleeve.

Your SECRET is:
This is where your secret would go. Remember, NO TELLING.

Player List:
1. Phyphor - Reporter
2. The Anonymous - Secret Service agent
3. Burnage - Fred Christ
4. Capfalcon - Alan Schacht
5. Erich Zahn - Reporter
6. Orange Soda - Reporter
7. Wildcat
8. Crumble - Investigative Reporter
9. romanqwerty - Reporter, expert on damage control
10. Macguffin - Reporter, arms smuggler
11. Jdarksun - Gifted Reporter
12. Dogbone33 - Yelena Rossini
13. Gumpy
14. Alegis - Mitchell Royce
15. Lucedes - Reporter
16. Raneados
17. The Ender
18. Dunadan019 - Reporter, expert on damage control
19. Abotkin - Reporter
20. B:L - Channon Yarrow
21. JaysonFour - Reporter
22. Teucrian - Reporter

Reserve: Wildcat

Day 0
Day 1
Day 2
Day 3
Day 4
Day 5
Day 6
The Final Day

Farangu on


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