Actually pay the five dollars to Cass so she writes a fanfiction about this.
Winky stared at the sink as it filled with a torrent of gushing water. Gently, he eased a new piece of computer paper off the top of the pile. It creased in his hands, sharp and fresh like the scent of pine on a summer breeze.
"You'll have to do, old girl." he whispered, staring at the pile of poop stained coffee filters collected at the garbage in front. "It's time for you to serve your country."
The computer paper silently drifted free of Winky's hand and embraced the cool embrace of the tap water. Winky settled down to do his business. His thoughts drifted to happier times. He remembered Christmas morning, when he was but five years old. His tiny legs could barely toddle down to the brightly lit tree. As he tore open the colorful packaging, he screamed with joy at the contents - his own pack of toilet paper.
"It's yours now son." his father whispered, cradling the tot in his arms. "It's your legacy. May your ass always be cradled by the finest of fabrics."
With great regret, he pulled the soggy computer paper out of the sink.
"I'm so sorry." The regret exploded from his lips as he reached down towards his moist anus. "Father...."
Actually pay the five dollars to Cass so she writes a fanfiction about this.
Winky stared at the sink as it filled with a torrent of gushing water. Gently, he eased a new piece of computer paper off the top of the pile. It creased in his hands, sharp and fresh like the scent of pine on a summer breeze.
"You'll have to do, old girl." he whispered, staring at the pile of poop stained coffee filters collected at the garbage in front. "It's time for you to serve your country."
The computer paper silently drifted free of Winky's hand and embraced the cool embrace of the tap water. Winky settled down to do his business. His thoughts drifted to happier times. He remembered Christmas morning, when he was but five years old. His tiny legs could barely toddle down to the brightly lit tree. As he tore open the colorful packaging, he screamed with joy at the contents - his own pack of toilet paper.
"It's yours now son." his father whispered, cradling the tot in his arms. "It's your legacy. May your ass always be cradled by the finest of fabrics."
With great regret, he pulled the soggy computer paper out of the sink.
"I'm so sorry." The regret exploded from his lips as he reached down towards his moist anus. "Father...."
The first torrent of blood ripped forth.
Is it possible to simultaneously hate and love you?
JustinSane07 on
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TavIrish Minister for DefenceRegistered Userregular
Winky if you consistently have blood when you poop uh, see a doctor seriously? Or change your diet?
Stop eating glass?
It's like you guys aren't even paying attention to what I say about my anal health.
I've had it for years and I've gone to a doctor and he was all "olol idk bro". So I was like "Whatever I'll just poop blood and like it".
Is there pain with the bright red blood? Or is it darker blood blended with the stool? Is there a streak on the well formed stool or is it all over the place like the hallway from the shining?
I'm gonna give guess answers and we'll see how close I am. Bright red, usually not panful but sometimes, rarely a stripe, mostly like the shining. Sometimes days or even weeks go by with no blood and then it hits without warning.
So, I mean, I guess this means you know exactly what it is then?
Because you are absolutely right.
It's a fissure. One more exterior than interior. It tries to heal over, but any strain or harder stools will tear it. The "dripping" cements that it is practically a totally exterior fissure. Post bloody poop, with mirrors and a magnifying glass, you could probably see it.
Eat healthier, use fiber supplements and drink lots of water, and do not push when you poop, let nature take care of it for you
syndalis on
SW-4158-3990-6116
Let's play Mario Kart or something...
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Hi I'm Vee!Formerly VH; She/Her; Is an E X P E R I E N C ERegistered Userregular
Bosses need to stay away from the computer and have their secretary print their emails so they can read them.
My job is the worst at modernization, we still have paper files for tons of shit that should be just scanned and shredded. Up until a couple years ago we used to print a 300+ page phone book of real estate that was outdated the minute it was printed, but we still sent that shit out because of "tradition"
Preacher on
I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.
So, I mean, I guess this means you know exactly what it is then?
Because you are absolutely right.
It's a fissure. One more exterior than interior. It tries to heal over, but any strain or harder stools will tear it. The "dripping" cements that it is practically a totally exterior fissure. Post bloody poop, with mirrors and a magnifying glass, you could probably see it.
Eat healthier, use fiber supplements and drink lots of water, and do not push when you poop, let nature take care of it for you
Thanks bro. Hopefully that will help make it go away, this shit's been going on forever.
So, I mean, I guess this means you know exactly what it is then?
Because you are absolutely right.
It's a fissure. One more exterior than interior. It tries to heal over, but any strain or harder stools will tear it. The "dripping" cements that it is practically a totally exterior fissure. Post bloody poop, with mirrors and a magnifying glass, you could probably see it.
Eat healthier, use fiber supplements and drink lots of water, and do not push when you poop, let nature take care of it for you
Thanks bro. Hopefully that will help make it go away, this shit's been going on forever.
Oh, and especially don't clench when you poop; that is rectal genocide.
syndalis on
SW-4158-3990-6116
Let's play Mario Kart or something...
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Dr Mario KartGames DealerAustin, TXRegistered Userregular
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this is totally my current job
Not a real apology mori, you just apolinsulted me.
pleasepaypreacher.net
Cass I will cherish it forever.
You know you want it.
Is it possible to simultaneously hate and love you?
hahahaha
oh my god
glorious
how much that costs
i needs scott pilgrim game and blazblue and that
halp send money
WHICH CODE SIR?
ALL CODES
Damn, you saw through my ruse!
I guess I better go write my will...
Eat healthier, use fiber supplements and drink lots of water, and do not push when you poop, let nature take care of it for you
Let's play Mario Kart or something...
There's like, three DLC color packs for like $5 a pop. Each one comes with 4 colors for each characters, so it's gonna be in one of those packs.
I sold out and bought all three.
My job is the worst at modernization, we still have paper files for tons of shit that should be just scanned and shredded. Up until a couple years ago we used to print a 300+ page phone book of real estate that was outdated the minute it was printed, but we still sent that shit out because of "tradition"
pleasepaypreacher.net
well once i buy the game
i will see about getting that
OKAY FOR REAL QUESTION TIME NOT ABOUT BLAZBLUE
are there ways to get the government to, say, pay the registration fee for the GRE if you can't afford it?
I'm shocked, honestly.
Every red-blooded, beer-drinking male over the age of 25 should know about anal fissures either personally or anecdotally.
Thanks bro. Hopefully that will help make it go away, this shit's been going on forever.
pleasepaypreacher.net
oh my gooooooooooood yes
I think it is ten dollars
teh whimsy
no this is from an awesome website I just found http://clientsfromhell.net/
but clearly
this man understands my pain
I demand it.
Oh, and especially don't clench when you poop; that is rectal genocide.
Let's play Mario Kart or something...
the client is will
Syndalis, lord of the anus.
pleasepaypreacher.net
People who use adblock/adblocker plus suck.
Starring Amy Fisher!
pleasepaypreacher.net
What is your reasoning here?