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Shaky Internet Friends
EpicPhoenix
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Basically, here's the store. Play WoW, find one guy who's your friend all summer. A few arguements, but a great friend. Meet some new friends, guilds merge. Currently working on heroic Lich King in 10.
Basically, the guild is pissing me off. One of the officers has 4,000 gold from me that he isn't paying back, and the guild master, my close friend all this summer, owes me 5,000 gold. They don't seem to want to pay me back, but eh. Tonight we raided Stormwind, all fun until I said why not attempt the King. So, my friend goes on his alt to talk to his Alliance friends and I kill him in Goldshire. Cool.
I'm standing in Orgrimmar and he guild kicks me. Drops me as a Real ID friend. I whisper asking what happens on multiple characters, he's "done" with me. Now, it's pretty shitty. I honestly wasn't trying to make him mad doing anything, and after walking away from the computer, I come back to him saying I can have "one more chance" - and he tells me in Vent about how he's "done" with the other officer because he doesn't want him to meddle with our raid groups. Sounds like he was raging, but this an ongoing problem.
Is it worth it to stay in this guild? Of course not, there's a catch though. They raid Fridays and Saturdays, which are the only times I can raid due to school. There's another guild that raids on the weekend, but they're not as progressed.
I have friend issues IRL too, and really don't like having all these issues in a game that's supposed to be fun and an escape, but I suppose shitty drama occurs in all social interaction. I honestly have no idea what to do.
Basically, the guild is pissing me off. One of the officers has 4,000 gold from me that he isn't paying back, and the guild master, my close friend all this summer, owes me 5,000 gold. They don't seem to want to pay me back, but eh. Tonight we raided Stormwind, all fun until I said why not attempt the King. So, my friend goes on his alt to talk to his Alliance friends and I kill him in Goldshire. Cool.
I'm standing in Orgrimmar and he guild kicks me. Drops me as a Real ID friend. I whisper asking what happens on multiple characters, he's "done" with me. Now, it's pretty shitty. I honestly wasn't trying to make him mad doing anything, and after walking away from the computer, I come back to him saying I can have "one more chance" - and he tells me in Vent about how he's "done" with the other officer because he doesn't want him to meddle with our raid groups. Sounds like he was raging, but this an ongoing problem.
Is it worth it to stay in this guild? Of course not, there's a catch though. They raid Fridays and Saturdays, which are the only times I can raid due to school. There's another guild that raids on the weekend, but they're not as progressed.
I have friend issues IRL too, and really don't like having all these issues in a game that's supposed to be fun and an escape, but I suppose shitty drama occurs in all social interaction. I honestly have no idea what to do.
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Or you could just find new friends, even transfer servers if you find a server with more guilds that raid in your specific time slots.
2) changing your group of friends just means different people and the same old problems.
You really gotta go with your gut though. Are these people really your friends or are they just keeping you around because they can take advantage of you?
Personally, I think your guild leader sounds like he could grow up a little. He knows his little temper tantrum is wrong but his pride won't let him just say he's sorry and he can't see that you work just as hard for your gold as he does.
I'm almost at this point myself. I have a feeling once I actually do it, it won't be as big a deal as it seems right now.
In my experience guild drama is never worth the energy it takes to fuel the pixels on your screen that display it to you, and half the time neither are the people in charge. There's nothing special about them. If you aren't having fun anymore then quit, and it really should be as simple as that.
But honestly, this isn't just something you're going to find playing an MMO. It's easy to use the word "friend" to describe people you haven't known very long or very well, and from there even easier to group them with people who are *actually* your friends, reacting to them accordingly. But they're not. You've known them for what, 2 months? Friends and people who hang out in groups because it's convenient are not the same. This is something I've had to deal with a number of times concerning internet "friends", and sometimes it develops into something that lasts in the long term, but until then it's probably better not to confuse the two groups.
@gamefacts - Totally and utterly true gaming facts on the regular!
seriously this is the best choice i made with my life this year
yeah once you quit they'll drop you like a bad habit
do yourself a favor and pull the plug
Well that's not necessarily true. Unless all the 'friends' you make in the game are like the people the OP mentioned. I quit WoW over a year ago and still keep in contact with quite a few people I met on it.
I think the most important thing in a game like WoW is to find people you enjoy playing with. Drama may be hard to avoid entirely, but chances are there's a group out there that you'll get along with great. Raiding is fun but only if you like the people. Raiding with douchebags is a fucking pain in the ass and I know from plenty of experience.
I think it's silly to just advise him to quit right off when he made no mention of being tired of the game itself.
At the end of the day, you pay to play WoW the way you want to. If you don't like drama, then leave the guild. End of story.
There are numerous guilds that raid during that time, and given your end-game experience you should have no issue getting into one of them.
Re: Friends in online games, most are just there for self gain, but once in a while you find someone you click with. I met a now really good friend in MXO of all things and now we frequently visit eachothers home-state and all that stuff. So it's common to lose contact quickly, you will know who is actually a 'friend' once you leave.
Haven't heard a word from any of the friends I'd made over my years of playing since. Like others have said, outside of the game itself, they're not your friends. They couldn't care less about anything but the next raid and loot, and you're just a cog in the machine they use to get it.
My personal metric for whether or not someone you only know over the internet is really your friend, is whether they would be willing to go out of their way to help you in real life.
If these people won't even be decent to you in a videogame, then they are not worth even a fraction of the mindshare you're giving them.
If a something that happens in a game can distress you enough that you feel the need to ask others for help as to how you should feel or proceed, then it is a pretty big sign that you could stand to step away from the game and get some perspective.
@OP: Quit your guild and find another. Consider transferring servers. It's not too expensive if you spend a lot of time playing WoW, and it opens up a bazillion different options as far as raid times and types of people go. If you're looking for progression raiding, consider applying to a bunch of other guilds first, and transfer if you're accepted to any.
If you have to leave and miss a few raids, it's not the end of the world. Take your time to find better people and it will increase your enjoyment and experience tenfold.
OP: Guys, the people I do drugs with are treating me badly.
Everyone: Stop doing drugs.
Exis: well, the OP seems to like doing drugs. It's great that people quit it and are happier for it, but that doesn't seem to be what this thread is about.
Um, there are plenty of great reasons to quit WoW. You know it. I know it. Everyone who plays knows it. So let's stop beating around the bush with "weeeeeellllll if you really enjoy it you don't have to quit."
While it's petered down to 1 now, I still talked frequently with a good number of the people I met playing lineage after I quit, through MSN and e-mail. I guess it really depends on who you are, I just played lineage because I enjoyed it and joined a group of people who also were just cool people who played lineage some in their spare time.
That's cool if quitting WoW has helped you gain a better social life or re-focus on studies or whatever. But quit preaching. Some people are perfectly capable of having a life and enjoying some WoW occasionally.
You should read the OP again and ask yourself if he sounds like such a person.
Because he says he's having trouble with friends IRL? I'm not about to assume WoW is the problem when he's given no info.
Otherwise, of course he should be pissed that his friends are stiffing him.
Basically, I don't think there's anything that could give either of us the info to decide that for him.
Anyway, OP, your guild sucks. Too bad, it happens. Go find a new one! There are some pretty great options in the mmo subforum.
ed: and not to put too fine a point on it, but raiding with people who suck? Not worth it.
that's why we call it the struggle, you're supposed to sweat
The point is that the OP has not asked whether he should quit WoW or not. He has not demonstrated once that he is no longer enjoying the game. Which is why it's kinda presumptuous to say "just quit." Not terrible advice, but not really on topic, either.
That's a pretty terrible analogy.
2) Maybe take this as an opportunity to re-asses your priorities and how much time you spend investing in a game like WoW. If it's your cup of tea, more power to you. But if everything else in your life brings you dissatisfaction and you're only using WoW as a means to get away, then perhaps you could be spending your time addressing these things first. If you are coming to a situation where your WoW guild/social life falls apart and you feel like your world is coming to an end, then that would be a giant red flag to me.
This is the best advice imho, assuming you actually want to continue playing. WoW (and the internet in general) is actually worse than real life relationships in this sense, in that people will openly be huge dicks right to your face or act like an internet toughguy, where in real life the person would typically just ignore you at worst. Reroll or transfer.
From my experience... while there are good people out there online.. I would be very careful about who you call friends on the internet. There's all kinds of people online... while most act friendly they won't go the distance or return favours for you just because being online isn't real to them... there's definate your share of moochers (real life and digital) that just takes and takes and won't offer anything back.. and ofcourse the guildie backstabber who talks behind your back.
It's much easier on the web because you get to see more people online, you can get stuff with minimual effort (farming gold is quite easy on WoW now), as well as talking behind people's back using /tells and officer chats.
How so Esh? It makes sense to me.
I'm honestly curious. I hear this thrown around a lot and I'm beginning to think it's an internet response to any analogy.
Last time I checked Karate didn't involve the soul crushing time commitment that progression in WoW does. Also, it's quite a bit healthier for you. It's like comparing Coca Cola to V8. Sure, they both quench the thirst, but one is infinitely better for you.
EDIT: One will actually benefit you in the long run.
Basically, I just see "I have a social activity that I enjoy but the people there are dicks but leaving the group will seriously impede my ability to enjoy this activity, what do I do?"
I'm done though, don't want to take this off track.
Seriously, you're only young once.