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Advice Towards the Purchase of a Certain *Ahem* Male Product
Zephonate
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
So, here's my situation.
My girlfriend and I have been together for a little over a year and a half. She comes from a more religious background than I do, and thus is one of those "not until marriage" kinds of girls.
I am completely okay with this. Too big an emphasis on sex is one of the things that contributed to the death of my last relationship, so I'm okay with seeing where things take us and if we ever get to the point of throwing around the m-word, waiting until then. Here's where my problem lies, though...
We don't have any sexual contact whatsoever. She's never had any with anyone. It's not something she's comfortable with (at least at this stage in our relationship), and I'm not a pushy guy, so I'm dealing. She's great in pretty much every other area, so I'm not unhappy. However, my left hand is getting exercised like a son of a bitch, and I miss sex A LOT. So, I'm looking into my options that don't involve rape, cheating, or breaking up with her.
The Fleshlight is a product I've been peripherally aware of for some time. I've heard it's the next best thing to having someone else doing things to you and far better than dry-handed jerking. I recently came (no pun intended) into a sum of money not required for anything important, and I've been looking into the idea of buying one more closely.
My humble request to you, the members of PA who own or have used them, is to share with me any thoughts, testimonials, or advice you may have on the use, purchase, or selection of a Fleshlight. Are they sold in stores or just online? How good are they, really? What's your preferred customization and why? What, where, and how can I get one at the best price possible? These are the sorts of questions I'd like to hear answers on.
P.S. Apologies if this is considered a pornographic or inappropriate H/A topic. If it is indeed so, mods feel free to delete.
My girlfriend and I have been together for a little over a year and a half. She comes from a more religious background than I do, and thus is one of those "not until marriage" kinds of girls.
I am completely okay with this. Too big an emphasis on sex is one of the things that contributed to the death of my last relationship, so I'm okay with seeing where things take us and if we ever get to the point of throwing around the m-word, waiting until then. Here's where my problem lies, though...
We don't have any sexual contact whatsoever. She's never had any with anyone. It's not something she's comfortable with (at least at this stage in our relationship), and I'm not a pushy guy, so I'm dealing. She's great in pretty much every other area, so I'm not unhappy. However, my left hand is getting exercised like a son of a bitch, and I miss sex A LOT. So, I'm looking into my options that don't involve rape, cheating, or breaking up with her.
The Fleshlight is a product I've been peripherally aware of for some time. I've heard it's the next best thing to having someone else doing things to you and far better than dry-handed jerking. I recently came (no pun intended) into a sum of money not required for anything important, and I've been looking into the idea of buying one more closely.
My humble request to you, the members of PA who own or have used them, is to share with me any thoughts, testimonials, or advice you may have on the use, purchase, or selection of a Fleshlight. Are they sold in stores or just online? How good are they, really? What's your preferred customization and why? What, where, and how can I get one at the best price possible? These are the sorts of questions I'd like to hear answers on.
P.S. Apologies if this is considered a pornographic or inappropriate H/A topic. If it is indeed so, mods feel free to delete.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
"For a few seconds Oskar saw through Eli's eyes. And what he saw was...himself. Only much better, more handsome, stronger than what he thought of himself. Seen with love."
--John Ajvide Lindqvist, Let the Right One In (Page 446).
"For a few seconds Oskar saw through Eli's eyes. And what he saw was...himself. Only much better, more handsome, stronger than what he thought of himself. Seen with love."
--John Ajvide Lindqvist, Let the Right One In (Page 446).
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|EDIT| http://www.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/dcoqh/opinion_on_fleshlight/
Awesome, thank you.
"For a few seconds Oskar saw through Eli's eyes. And what he saw was...himself. Only much better, more handsome, stronger than what he thought of himself. Seen with love."
--John Ajvide Lindqvist, Let the Right One In (Page 446).
It is awesome.
It is worth every penny.
I can't recommend it enough.
I have the 'Jenna Haze Lotus'. Typically you select the 'opening' as a mouth, vagina, ass, or 'stealth' (which is just a nondescript vertical opening). Then you select the inside, which varies over and over again. The Lotus and the MiniLotus are the two most popular ones on the official Fleshlight Forums (which has a ridiculous amount of information).
A lot of times they have a sale where you can get two sleeves (inserts) for the price of one with a single case to give you some variety. I've heard good things about the Stamina Trainer and Vortex as well.
Though, you may want to keep it on the down low. While your girlfriend wants to wait until marriage, that doesn't necessarily translate into the girl only wanting procreation, conservative, missionary sex, you know? But it would certainly be a shock to let her see it.
Anyway. It's great, I think every guy should have one and guys who haven't given it a shot are missing out.
I'm a SModcast listener, so I know that far too well. Problem is, since Fleshlight sponsors SModcast I'm wary of taking all of Kevin Smith's praise of them 100% to heart. Though I do love and respect Smith, he's something of a self-admitted whore.
MegaMan: How closely would you compare the Lotus to actual vaginal sex? I know, I know, nothing the Fleshlight could possibly do will compare to the real thing, but in possibly purchasing one, my goal would be to get as close as possible. I'm going for as much realism as I can here. That's why I have no interest in any of the models that vibrate or have weird textures that don't look inspired by real internal geography at all. Btw: kudos on the Jenna Haze model –she's one of my favorite porn stars, thus I've been eyeballing that one.
Also, I've heard varying things about the smell and cleanup. How much of a pain is it, really? Because I anticipate a lot of late night jerk sessions that will conclude with me being very tired and lazy, so the idea of going and rinsing the god damned thing for ten minutes is dissuading me a little. Also, one of the things I hate most about using condoms is that everything stinks like latex after using one. Is the (natural, non-jizz saturated) smell of a Fleshlight anywhere near as bad? Also, how soon after finishing should I start the cleanup? Can I afford a few minutes to relax and recharge, or do I have to get up and wash it immediately, likely tripping and falling in my hallway due to exhaustion in the process?
As a side note, I haven't broached the subject with my girlfriend yet, but I'm pretty sure she would accepting of it. She masturbates, has divulged a little bit about her habits with me, doesn't use any toys. She has a sex drive and all, she's just consciously decided to wait until marriage for the real thing. She understands how bad I want it, how much I miss it, and knows how hard (pun) it is for me to control myself for her. She's not unrealistic and knows what a big sacrifice it is for me not to press it, which means a lot to her. That considered, as long as I'm not cheating on her, I don't think she would mind me using something to make the situation more tolerable for myself.
"For a few seconds Oskar saw through Eli's eyes. And what he saw was...himself. Only much better, more handsome, stronger than what he thought of himself. Seen with love."
--John Ajvide Lindqvist, Let the Right One In (Page 446).
Like you said, there is no replacement for actual vaginal intercourse - but it's extremely close. I'd say it's maybe, one notch below vaginal sex in terms of enjoyment. More accurately, I'd say it's different, but a good different. It certainly makes masturbation a lot more fun and a lot more pleasurable. It's also improved my stamina during sex because you get more comfortable with the intense tactile sensation and lets you 'control' your orgasm mentally rather than just succumbing to the physical sensation.
The closest texture, from reading the forums, is that the Lotus is the best choice.
Cleanup isn't bad at all and no, you don't have to rush to do it. I wouldn't wait 30 minutes, but you definitely have some euphoric time to relax. Just run some hot water through the sleeve from one side to the next and then let it air dry. Then re-seal it in the case. Every few uses I'll give it a spritz down with this antibacterial sex toy cleaning spray my girlfriend got for her toys just to protect it.
It had a real 'new car smell' prior to use, but no - not a lot of latex odor.
Plus, it sounds like your girlfriend is a pretty solid catch. If she's up for masturbation and talking about dirty deeds (which is nearly as much fun as actually doing them), then you should see how she feels about some experimentation. Maybe she'd be okay using the Fleshlight ON you and making it a more intimate encounter?
Awesome as that proposition would be, it's unfortunately not gonna happen. The subject has been talked about before to no advantage. Closest thing to any remotely sexual contact she's comfortable with is being in underwear around each other. Not for lack of wanting, it's how she was raised, and she holds a select few values of her religion in very high regard. It's been a bitch deprogramming her as much as I have (building her up to being comfortable with any intimate physical contact, i.e. kissing, cuddling, occasional butt smack, etc.). Maybe someday down the line she'll be more open to the idea prior to tying the knot, but I'm not getting my hopes up. Which is another reason I think she'd be okay with me owning a Fleshlight.
Thanks for the advice, Mega. The Jenna Haze Lotus is looking like it'll be mine fairly soon.
"For a few seconds Oskar saw through Eli's eyes. And what he saw was...himself. Only much better, more handsome, stronger than what he thought of himself. Seen with love."
--John Ajvide Lindqvist, Let the Right One In (Page 446).
That said, if that's your choice, a fleshlight is a great choice. My only issue with mine is that the material gets sticky and dirty and smelly with extended use. The material is porous and will not clean up perfectly in my experience, so they have to be replaced after a while.
You can think it, but I would really suggest bringing it up with her before placing the order. While she may be comfortable with you masturbating manually, if you've been with her for 18 months and the only sexual things between you involve your underwear remaining on, she might end up feeling quite jealous of an actual toy -- especially one that's explicitly designed to simulate a vagina.
I've known a person or two who has abstained from sex completely prior to marriage, and in each case it's been because they were both of the same religion and neither of them felt that sex was "the point" of a marriage. Have you talked to your girlfriend about how often you masturbate, for example? Perhaps the fleshlight should be a jumping off point to discussions of marriage, despite how awkward that reads, rather than simply an excuse for you to have "sex." Illig has a good point that "no sex before marriage" doesn't lead to "lots of sex after marriage," so a good conversation about this might end up with better results than just ordering a fleshlight out of frustration. Even if you still end up ordering one and enjoying it, mind.
Granted, some of the Japanese products aren't as... discreet as the Fleshlight, but no one really believes that thing is a huge, huge flashlight.
As for asking her about this don't bother. Just say I'm buying this. You have a sex life she doesn't.
Excellent advice.