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Future President of the Junior Anti-Sex League: FOUND!

Akei ArkayAkei Arkay Registered User
edited September 2010 in Debate and/or Discourse
So, probably most of you already know about this, but I don't see a thread or anything, and if Sheriff Joe gets his own threads, so should this goose.

A woman named Christine O'Donnell recently won the Republican primary for the senate seat that Biden used to occupy. O'Donnell is a Tea Partier, and the primary opponent she beat, Mike Castle, was a more moderate Republican who was highly favored to win the seat. O'Donnell, on the other hand, is very likely to lose.

Why? Because she's BATSHIT CRAZY. How crazy is she? She wants to stop the whole country from having sex. I'm not exaggerating - Joe Scarborough asked her that exact question during an interview, and she said "Yes."

O'Donnell counts masturbation on her list of sinful sexual acts, for reasons including, and I quote, "[...] if he already knows what pleases him and he can please himself, then why am I in the picture?" Apparently, O'Donnell doesn't understand why a man might prefer a woman to his own hand, which seems like wondering why anyone would want cake when they can just eat sugar straight from the box.

She's also concerned with things outside the scope of sexuality, such as mice with human brains. Again, a direct quote: "American scientific companies are cross-breeding humans and animals and coming up with mice with fully functioning human brains."

She sees the world in terms of absolute good and absolute evil. Honesty is good and lying is evil, even if Hitler is knocking on the door asking if you're hiding any Jews. (I swear to God, that is also straight from the horse's mouth.)

She also has the typical over-the-right-edge beliefs, including young-earth creationism, condoms don't protect against STDs and AIDS, women should submit to their husbands, overturn Roe v Wade, gays are deviants and shouldn't be upset when we call them that, the ACLU are crypto-communists, visiting the Middle East was great because she wasn't "constantly bombarded with smut all the time," people watch "The Sopranos" for the family element, "Sex and the City" is pornography, Bill Clinton should be tried for murder, Joe Biden is tapping her phones, Sarah Palin is awesome, Bush saved the economy, etc. etc. etc.

Also, she was into witchcraft once. (But she didn't join a coven, so it's cool.)

Think Progress has a sort of quote archive at http://thinkprogress.org/christine-odonnell-record/. Talking Points Memo's O'Donnell articles are at http://tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com/christine-odonnell/.

Anyone got any other bits to add?

Akei Arkay on
«13

Posts

  • enlightenedbumenlightenedbum Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    We've been covering her in the midterm/primary thread, for the most part.

    enlightenedbum on
    Herbert Hoover got 40% of the vote in 1932. Friendly reminder.
    Warren 2020
  • HenroidHenroid Radio Demon Internet HellRegistered User regular
    edited September 2010
    Unfortunately for her, her basis on the issue of sex is based on religion, which oversteps the bounds of government. She can go fuck herself. Oh no wait, she won't.

    Henroid on
    Nobody likes me but that's okay. I'm used to it.
  • OptimusZedOptimusZed Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    Haggard: Anti-Gay

    Gingrich: Anti-Adultery

    Vitter: Anti-Prostitution

    O'Donnell: Anti-Masturbation


    I'll just let you think about that for a second.

    OptimusZed on
    We're reading Rifts. You should too. You know you want to. Now With Ninjas!

    They tried to bury us. They didn't know that we were seeds. 2018 Midterms. Get your shit together.
  • override367override367 ALL minions Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    Are you implying at some point a staffer will find her in a broom closet with three dildos buried to the hilt in varies orifices?

    override367 on
  • OptimusZedOptimusZed Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    I didn't realize dildos had hilts.

    OptimusZed on
    We're reading Rifts. You should too. You know you want to. Now With Ninjas!

    They tried to bury us. They didn't know that we were seeds. 2018 Midterms. Get your shit together.
  • HenroidHenroid Radio Demon Internet HellRegistered User regular
    edited September 2010
    Trying to keep my mouth shut on the 'hilt' thing. ffffffff

    Henroid on
    Nobody likes me but that's okay. I'm used to it.
  • MisanthropicMisanthropic Registered User
    edited September 2010
    Ah, Godwin's lesser known law: as a dildo discussion grows longer, the probability of a hilter being brought up approaches 1.

    Misanthropic on
  • HappylilElfHappylilElf Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    Ah, Godwin's lesser known law: as a dildo discussion grows longer, the probability of a hilter being brought up approaches 1.

    Boo! Get off the stage!

    HappylilElf on
  • SentrySentry Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    All I can say is that the Tea Party vets their candidates worse then John McCain. Here's O'Donnel on Politcally Incorrect back in 1999 talking about her Witchcraft days...

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/09/18/odonnell-witchcraft-politically-incorrect_n_722035.html

    Now, I don't particularly care that she dabbled in witchcraft... I'm actually more annoyed that she seems to think that it and satanism are the same thing... but this seems like something the Tea Partiers might not be too into. Oh, also Bill Mahr says he has clips from all 22 of her appearances and will be releasing them each week till she comes on Real Time.

    Sentry on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    wrote:
    When I was a little kid, I always pretended I was the hero,' Skip said.
    'Fuck yeah, me too. What little kid ever pretended to be part of the lynch-mob?'
  • emnmnmeemnmnme Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    Has she shamed a masturbator into committing suicide? I don't see what the fuss is about.

    emnmnme on
  • JeanJean Papa bear Gatineau, QuébecRegistered User regular
    edited September 2010
    I find it funny than she's not married. I guess no man can endure her :lol:

    Jean on
    "You won't destroy us, You won't destroy our democracy. We are a small but proud nation. No one can bomb us to silence. No one can scare us from being Norway. This evening and tonight, we'll take care of each other. That's what we do best when attacked'' - Jens Stoltenberg
  • KalTorakKalTorak One way or another, they all end up in the Undercity.Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    I'd say the fuss is about an 18th century puritan getting close to national office. I don't think it's likely she'll get in though.

    KalTorak on
  • Captain CarrotCaptain Carrot Alexandria, VARegistered User regular
    edited September 2010
    emnmnme wrote: »
    Has she shamed a masturbator into committing suicide? I don't see what the fuss is about.

    She does have a boyfriend, though. I think.

    Captain Carrot on
  • KalTorakKalTorak One way or another, they all end up in the Undercity.Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    If she doesn't have a husband how does she know who to obey?!

    KalTorak on
  • HenroidHenroid Radio Demon Internet HellRegistered User regular
    edited September 2010
    Sentry wrote: »
    Oh, also Bill Mahr says he has clips from all 22 of her appearances and will be releasing them each week till she comes on Real Time.

    Bill Mahr irritates me frequently but I kinda like this.

    Henroid on
    Nobody likes me but that's okay. I'm used to it.
  • HenroidHenroid Radio Demon Internet HellRegistered User regular
    edited September 2010
    KalTorak wrote: »
    If she doesn't have a husband how does she know who to obey?!

    Oh you know, God and Jesus.

    Henroid on
    Nobody likes me but that's okay. I'm used to it.
  • DangerousDangerous Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    Tonight I'm going to whack off to a picture of her, just for spite.

    Dangerous on
    sig2-2.jpg
  • OptimusZedOptimusZed Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    KalTorak wrote: »
    If she doesn't have a husband how does she know who to obey?!
    That's what Fathers and Preachers are for. Duh.

    OptimusZed on
    We're reading Rifts. You should too. You know you want to. Now With Ninjas!

    They tried to bury us. They didn't know that we were seeds. 2018 Midterms. Get your shit together.
  • FeralFeral MEMETICHARIZARD along with you if I get drunk well I know I'm gonna be gonna be the man whoRegistered User regular
    edited September 2010
    OptimusZed wrote: »
    Haggard: Anti-Gay

    Gingrich: Anti-Adultery

    Vitter: Anti-Prostitution

    O'Donnell: Anti-Masturbation


    I'll just let you think about that for a second.

    That last one brings up a much more pleasing mental image.

    Especially since her name reminds me of Chris O'Donnell

    Feral on
    every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.
    the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
  • SentrySentry Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    Henroid wrote: »
    Sentry wrote: »
    Oh, also Bill Mahr says he has clips from all 22 of her appearances and will be releasing them each week till she comes on Real Time.

    Bill Mahr irritates me frequently but I kinda like this.

    I love Bill Mahr. He's a smarmy asshole, but he's just SOOOO good at being one.

    Sentry on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    wrote:
    When I was a little kid, I always pretended I was the hero,' Skip said.
    'Fuck yeah, me too. What little kid ever pretended to be part of the lynch-mob?'
  • FeralFeral MEMETICHARIZARD along with you if I get drunk well I know I'm gonna be gonna be the man whoRegistered User regular
    edited September 2010
    I liked Bill Maher until he drank too much hippie juice and became an anti-vaxxer.

    Feral on
    every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.
    the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
  • FeralFeral MEMETICHARIZARD along with you if I get drunk well I know I'm gonna be gonna be the man whoRegistered User regular
    edited September 2010
    Also, he looks like he cakes on white concealer like some 18th century aristocrat who's two brain cells away from dying by mercury poisoning.


    ... hey, mercury poisoning. Maybe that explains his anti-vaccine craziness!

    Feral on
    every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.
    the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
  • HenroidHenroid Radio Demon Internet HellRegistered User regular
    edited September 2010
    Feral is anti-mercury.

    Henroid on
    Nobody likes me but that's okay. I'm used to it.
  • KronusKronus Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    Henroid wrote: »
    Feral is anti-mercury.

    In his defense, Mercury is a pretty boring planet. It's definitely no Venus.

    Kronus on
  • SentrySentry Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    Feral wrote: »
    Also, he looks like he cakes on white concealer like some 18th century aristocrat who's two brain cells away from dying by mercury poisoning.


    ... hey, mercury poisoning. Maybe that explains his anti-vaccine craziness!

    Yeah, the anti-vaccine thing is a pretty huge flaw. It made me take the side of Bill Frist when he was on the show... that was completely unforgivable.

    Sentry on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    wrote:
    When I was a little kid, I always pretended I was the hero,' Skip said.
    'Fuck yeah, me too. What little kid ever pretended to be part of the lynch-mob?'
  • DrezDrez Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    Henroid wrote: »
    Trying to keep my mouth shut on the 'hilt' thing. ffffffff

    Posts like this are just begging for mockery.

    Drez on
  • OptimusZedOptimusZed Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    You know, if the internet was really the cesspool I've always heard it was someone somewhere would have started an online "Bust a nut on O'Donnell" campaign by now.

    OptimusZed on
    We're reading Rifts. You should too. You know you want to. Now With Ninjas!

    They tried to bury us. They didn't know that we were seeds. 2018 Midterms. Get your shit together.
  • DeShadowCDeShadowC Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    OptimusZed wrote: »
    You know, if the internet was really the cesspool I've always heard it was someone somewhere would have started an online "Bust a nut on O'Donnell" campaign by now.

    To 4chan! I'm honestly too scared to Google that quote though. Someone else check and tell me it doesn't exist.

    DeShadowC on
  • mcdermottmcdermott Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    Ah....that was satisfying.

    mcdermott on
  • Caveman PawsCaveman Paws Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    mcdermott wrote: »
    Ah....that was satisfying.

    Do you have any idea how many baby angels you just killed? D:

    Caveman Paws on
  • override367override367 ALL minions Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    OptimusZed wrote: »
    I didn't realize dildos had hilts.

    Just an expression, I meant "all the way the fuck in"

    override367 on
  • OptimusZedOptimusZed Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    mcdermott wrote: »
    Ah....that was satisfying.
    Feels good, don't it?

    So wrong, and yet,

    no, still wrong.

    OptimusZed on
    We're reading Rifts. You should too. You know you want to. Now With Ninjas!

    They tried to bury us. They didn't know that we were seeds. 2018 Midterms. Get your shit together.
  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    edited September 2010
    OptimusZed wrote: »
    I didn't realize dildos had hilts.

    Some of them do!!!

    lonelyahava on
  • FeralFeral MEMETICHARIZARD along with you if I get drunk well I know I'm gonna be gonna be the man whoRegistered User regular
    edited September 2010
    OptimusZed wrote: »
    I didn't realize dildos had hilts.

    Some of them do!!!

    Some of them even have quillons to aid in dueling.

    Feral on
    every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.
    the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
  • KronusKronus Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    Feral wrote: »
    OptimusZed wrote: »
    I didn't realize dildos had hilts.

    Some of them do!!!

    Some of them even have quillons to aid in dueling.

    ...Cockslaps Gone Wild?

    Kronus on
  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    edited September 2010
    Feral wrote: »
    OptimusZed wrote: »
    I didn't realize dildos had hilts.

    Some of them do!!!

    Some of them even have quillons to aid in dueling.

    Some of them also have suction cups!

    lonelyahava on
  • emnmnmeemnmnme Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    Feral wrote: »
    OptimusZed wrote: »
    I didn't realize dildos had hilts.

    Some of them do!!!

    Some of them even have quillons to aid in dueling.

    Some of them also have suction cups!

    Ew ew ew!

    emnmnme on
  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    edited September 2010
    emnmnme wrote: »
    Feral wrote: »
    OptimusZed wrote: »
    I didn't realize dildos had hilts.

    Some of them do!!!

    Some of them even have quillons to aid in dueling.

    Some of them also have suction cups!

    Ew ew ew!

    What?

    They do!

    how else are you supposed to use them in the shower?

    lonelyahava on
  • FeralFeral MEMETICHARIZARD along with you if I get drunk well I know I'm gonna be gonna be the man whoRegistered User regular
    edited September 2010
    Feral wrote: »
    OptimusZed wrote: »
    I didn't realize dildos had hilts.

    Some of them do!!!

    Some of them even have quillons to aid in dueling.

    Some of them also have suction cups!

    One of my exes had a big black dong that had a suction-cup-like end.

    Every once in a while when she was away I'd stick it to the patio window so it would be there when she got home.

    Feral on
    every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.
    the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
  • DrezDrez Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    emnmnme wrote: »
    Feral wrote: »
    OptimusZed wrote: »
    I didn't realize dildos had hilts.

    Some of them do!!!

    Some of them even have quillons to aid in dueling.

    Some of them also have suction cups!

    Ew ew ew!

    What?

    They do!

    how else are you supposed to use them in the shower?

    My epee has a suction cup.

    Drez on
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