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[INTERNET DATING] It's like video games, except not

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Posts

  • wazillawazilla Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    The problem I'm having with OKC is that I'm in love with Regina Spektor and Ellen Page... I don't think they're in my area...

    wazilla on
    Psn:wazukki
  • StericaSterica Wow! That was shit.Registered User, Moderator mod
    edited November 2010
    I really need some new pictures and a general profile update.

    Now, I do have "internet" on my list of six, but I actually go into detail regarding its impact on information distribution and what that does to the world. Not because it gives me porn and memes. That probably isn't good enough, but it's a step up from just listing "internet."

    Sterica on
    YL9WnCY.png
  • DemerdarDemerdar Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    I'm sure if you put

    Six things I could do without:

    The internet for porn

    would elicit much more interesting responses than writing a dissertation on the internet about the impacts it has on the world.

    Demerdar on
    y6GGs3o.gif
  • Captain CarrotCaptain Carrot Alexandria, VARegistered User regular
    edited November 2010
    LadyM wrote: »
    Well, I finally did it. Figured I might as well run it by you folks before messaging someone.

    http://www.okcupid.com/profile/TimmyHK

    The fifth picture down is pretty bad. The Mad Hatter hat is fine, but what's going on with your stubble/facial hair? It's so patchy and uneven.

    Wait, fifth? I only have three on there. I know the picture you're talking about, but I never uploaded it. And not having shaved is partially why. I don't shave all that regularly, mainly because I have nobody who sees me and really cares, and the hair on my face does not grow in an attractive way at all. It's unfortunate, but there it is.

    Captain Carrot on
  • kaliyamakaliyama Left to find less-moderated fora Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Lucid wrote: »
    There's a significant portion of people who get turned off by that kind of picture though. Sure, some may not care or even find it funny, but you're giving yourself more options by not having pictures Like that.

    Yeah, but the point isn't to have options, it's to figure out the one right person. It can not feel that way if you're struggling to get one date. Frankly you're all better off talking to women in the real world. You have more leverage.

    As for me, taking girl on getaway in a couple of weeks. Super excited. http://www.colonypalmshotel.com/gallery2.html

    kaliyama on
    fwKS7.png?1
  • MyDcmbrMyDcmbr Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    wazilla wrote: »
    The problem I'm having with OKC is that I'm in love with Regina Spektor and Ellen Page... I don't think they're in my area...

    You keep your hands off my wimminz good sir!

    MyDcmbr on
    Steam
    So we get stiff once in a while. So we have a little fun. What’s wrong with that? This is a free country, isn’t it? I can take my panda any place I want to. And if I wanna buy it a drink, that’s my business.
  • TzyrTzyr Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    kaliyama wrote: »
    Lucid wrote: »
    There's a significant portion of people who get turned off by that kind of picture though. Sure, some may not care or even find it funny, but you're giving yourself more options by not having pictures Like that.

    Yeah, but the point isn't to have options, it's to figure out the one right person. It can not feel that way if you're struggling to get one date. Frankly you're all better off talking to women in the real world. You have more leverage.

    Yeah, but I know for some of us, we are not being overwhelmed by messages that eliminating people would benefit us. My reply rate right now is under 10% and though I try to show who I am in my profile and messages, since not everyone gets my humour, I already eliminate most people's interests myself... ;p

    And yes, I would rather meet someone in real life, but in my industry, and what I do day to day I don't meet many women. And it does not help that I get very uncomfortable doing things out of the norm...

    Actually my main problem I've had meeting people in real life is nearly every women I've met who I asked out/are interested in, are dating/married.

    Tzyr on
    "Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away. "
  • Captain CarrotCaptain Carrot Alexandria, VARegistered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Question: this girl is pretty cute, and judging from her profile and questions she's really, really smart and we agree on a lot of things. However, she has a filter for accounts that are less than a week old. Should I send a message anyway and count on her to look at it despite her filter, or just wait five days and respect her boundary?

    Captain Carrot on
  • LaOsLaOs Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    May as well wait. Would your message even go through if she's got a filter?

    She may see you viewed her profile and message you, maybe?

    I don't think you really lose anything by waiting five days. You may have to anyway, and at the very least it shows you've got reading comprehension and can follow directions.

    LaOs on
  • MyDcmbrMyDcmbr Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    I would just wait the 5 days.

    MyDcmbr on
    Steam
    So we get stiff once in a while. So we have a little fun. What’s wrong with that? This is a free country, isn’t it? I can take my panda any place I want to. And if I wanna buy it a drink, that’s my business.
  • Captain CarrotCaptain Carrot Alexandria, VARegistered User regular
    edited November 2010
    I dunno how filters really work, but I got the impression that it would show up in her inbox, but with a thing saying it was caught by her filter. I dunno. In any case, I added her to my favorites and had it tell her, so she knows that I'm interested.

    Captain Carrot on
  • LeCausticLeCaustic Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    So, I'm just going to ask for the advice here since I'm trying not to be a complete ass/dick about everything. Girl I'm dating from OKC...well, I'm not interested in anymore. I mean, we have similar likes, but I'm not attracted to her. The problem? She invited me to this party tonight and I accidentally said yes *I was drunk and texting her at the same time*. I want to break things off asap but I don't want to ruin her party. I'm not calling/texting her because that's terrible, imo. I don't want to go to the party and tell her there. So wtf...

    I can't go now because I'm working my main job and part time job until 10pm. So do I fucking call her anyways? Yes, the same asshole that made that comment earlier about bad people wants to be a nice person.

    The other option is to string things along and just get the sex out of it.

    LeCaustic on
    Your sig is too tall. -Thanatos
    kaustikos.png
  • MyDcmbrMyDcmbr Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Call her and tell her why you can't make it. Then sometime in the next couple of days break it off.

    MyDcmbr on
    Steam
    So we get stiff once in a while. So we have a little fun. What’s wrong with that? This is a free country, isn’t it? I can take my panda any place I want to. And if I wanna buy it a drink, that’s my business.
  • RichyRichy Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    MyDcmbr wrote: »
    Call her and tell her why you can't make it. Then sometime in the next couple of days break it off.
    ^This.

    Also, don't have sex with her during that time. Not breaking up with her now is being nice and not ruining her party. Sexing her up in the meantime is stringing her along and using her.

    Richy on
    sig.gif
  • RichyRichy Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    I just found this girl's profile on POF. She is 22 years old. In her description she says that she has been in "some really bad relationships" (note the plural). Her profile also indicates that her longest relationship has been 7 years long - if she just broke up with the guy, then she started dating him when she was 15 years old. So if she had other bad relationships, she's been dating since before that? Am I the only one who finds that a bit young to be dating?

    Richy on
    sig.gif
  • WyzerWyzer Registered User
    edited November 2010
    I dunno how filters really work, but I got the impression that it would show up in her inbox, but with a thing saying it was caught by her filter. I dunno. In any case, I added her to my favorites and had it tell her, so she knows that I'm interested.

    I'm guessing it marks the message in the inbox. I messaged a girl with an age filter and I got a reply from her.

    Wyzer on
  • IncenjucarIncenjucar Audio Game Developer Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Richy wrote: »
    I just found this girl's profile on POF. She is 22 years old. In her description she says that she has been in "some really bad relationships" (note the plural). Her profile also indicates that her longest relationship has been 7 years long - if she just broke up with the guy, then she started dating him when she was 15 years old. So if she had other bad relationships, she's been dating since before that? Am I the only one who finds that a bit young to be dating?

    Many people start dating in middle school.

    Incenjucar on
  • MyDcmbrMyDcmbr Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Incenjucar wrote: »
    Richy wrote: »
    I just found this girl's profile on POF. She is 22 years old. In her description she says that she has been in "some really bad relationships" (note the plural). Her profile also indicates that her longest relationship has been 7 years long - if she just broke up with the guy, then she started dating him when she was 15 years old. So if she had other bad relationships, she's been dating since before that? Am I the only one who finds that a bit young to be dating?

    Many people start dating in middle school.

    Or maybe one of the bad relationships was with a parent or other family member. Relationships are not just boyfriend/girlfriend after all.

    MyDcmbr on
    Steam
    So we get stiff once in a while. So we have a little fun. What’s wrong with that? This is a free country, isn’t it? I can take my panda any place I want to. And if I wanna buy it a drink, that’s my business.
  • RichyRichy Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    MyDcmbr wrote: »
    Incenjucar wrote: »
    Richy wrote: »
    I just found this girl's profile on POF. She is 22 years old. In her description she says that she has been in "some really bad relationships" (note the plural). Her profile also indicates that her longest relationship has been 7 years long - if she just broke up with the guy, then she started dating him when she was 15 years old. So if she had other bad relationships, she's been dating since before that? Am I the only one who finds that a bit young to be dating?

    Many people start dating in middle school.

    Or maybe one of the bad relationships was with a parent or other family member. Relationships are not just boyfriend/girlfriend after all.
    No, given the context I'm pretty sure she means bad boyfriend relationships.

    Richy on
    sig.gif
  • EggyToastEggyToast Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Richy wrote: »
    I just found this girl's profile on POF. She is 22 years old. In her description she says that she has been in "some really bad relationships" (note the plural). Her profile also indicates that her longest relationship has been 7 years long - if she just broke up with the guy, then she started dating him when she was 15 years old. So if she had other bad relationships, she's been dating since before that? Am I the only one who finds that a bit young to be dating?

    Did she just break up with the 7 years guy? Or did she start "dating" a guy in middle school (age 12-14) and stick with him throughout high school -- easily 6-7 years there, and lots of people don't "play the field" in high school (they treat dating like mini-marriage).

    So she dates a guy from age 13-19, and in the first year of college she tries to make things work with her high school sweetheart, only he turns into a dick now that he's at a different college and cheats on her. She dumps his ass and rebounds with a guy who's been hanging out with her trying to be friendly, and it turns out he's socially awkward and alternates between infatuation and insane jealousy, because he's never had a girlfriend before. She can only stand it for 6 months, dumps the guy, and after a couple months being single she meets a nice guy that she gets along with well. They date for a little while and then she's mysteriously dumped and he doesn't return phone calls or emails or txts. Another rebound for 2 months with a guy who just wants to get into her pants, and after she has regret-filled sex a few times he dumps her because he's really not that into her.

    There you go, a series of bad relationships for a 22 year old that includes a 7-year relationship as well. That doesn't seem too uncommon, I don't think?

    I tend to tell friends to take a "Chasing Amy" approach to dating histories. There's a reason you're not really supposed to talk about it on a first or second date, and ultimately the past is prologue. I've got a coworker who has had a string of bad relationships and each one seemed like such an improvement on the previous boyfriend — which was in fact the case. The boyfriend she used to have was so terrible that it's taken her 3 new boyfriends, all of which were better than the last, to find a guy that she's really into and who feels mutually about the relationship. Those previous relationships don't mean she's damaged goods or anything; it just means guys find her attractive and she's open to trying new relationships.

    EggyToast on
    || Flickr — || PSN: EggyToast
  • MyDcmbrMyDcmbr Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    EggyToast wrote: »

    Did she just break up with the 7 years guy? Or did she start "dating" a guy in middle school (age 12-14) and stick with him throughout high school -- easily 6-7 years there, and lots of people don't "play the field" in high school (they treat dating like mini-marriage).

    So she dates a guy from age 13-19, and in the first year of college she tries to make things work with her high school sweetheart, only he turns into a dick now that he's at a different college and cheats on her. She dumps his ass and rebounds with a guy who's been hanging out with her trying to be friendly, and it turns out he's socially awkward and alternates between infatuation and insane jealousy, because he's never had a girlfriend before. She can only stand it for 6 months, dumps the guy, and after a couple months being single she meets a nice guy that she gets along with well. They date for a little while and then she's mysteriously dumped and he doesn't return phone calls or emails or txts. Another rebound for 2 months with a guy who just wants to get into her pants, and after she has regret-filled sex a few times he dumps her because he's really not that into her.

    There you go, a series of bad relationships for a 22 year old that includes a 7-year relationship as well. That doesn't seem too uncommon, I don't think?
    12254a885fadccc3b.gif

    That's actually quite good. I would not have thought of that.

    MyDcmbr on
    Steam
    So we get stiff once in a while. So we have a little fun. What’s wrong with that? This is a free country, isn’t it? I can take my panda any place I want to. And if I wanna buy it a drink, that’s my business.
  • Cultural Geek GirlCultural Geek Girl Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Richy wrote: »
    MyDcmbr wrote: »
    Incenjucar wrote: »
    Richy wrote: »
    I just found this girl's profile on POF. She is 22 years old. In her description she says that she has been in "some really bad relationships" (note the plural). Her profile also indicates that her longest relationship has been 7 years long - if she just broke up with the guy, then she started dating him when she was 15 years old. So if she had other bad relationships, she's been dating since before that? Am I the only one who finds that a bit young to be dating?

    Many people start dating in middle school.

    Or maybe one of the bad relationships was with a parent or other family member. Relationships are not just boyfriend/girlfriend after all.
    No, given the context I'm pretty sure she means bad boyfriend relationships.

    I hate to say this, but based on everything you've been saying about how hard it is to find local girls... why rule anyone out? Maybe this girl made some silly decisions in the past and is better now. Maybe she had several relationships going on at the same time... a long distance open thing, or whatever. If she seems interesting why not message her? If she turns out to be crazy, just... don't see her anymore. You're overthinking this.

    Now, granted, this is coming from a girl who has ruled guys out because they put "must be 420 friendly" in their profiles, or because they listed "friends" as one of their favorite shows. But I live an hour away from the biggest city in the freaking country, I can afford to be unreasonable. You should just gamble. Plus you're a dude, the chances of you ending up chopped up into little pieces on someone's floor are far far less. Live a little.

    Cultural Geek Girl on
    Buttoneer, Brigadeer, and Keeper of the Book of Wil Wheaton.
    Triwizard Drinking Tournament - '09 !Hufflepuff unofficial conscript, '10 !Gryffindor
    Nerd blog at culturalgeekgirl.com
  • Captain CarrotCaptain Carrot Alexandria, VARegistered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Wyzer wrote: »
    I dunno how filters really work, but I got the impression that it would show up in her inbox, but with a thing saying it was caught by her filter. I dunno. In any case, I added her to my favorites and had it tell her, so she knows that I'm interested.

    I'm guessing it marks the message in the inbox. I messaged a girl with an age filter and I got a reply from her.

    Ah, good to know. Although age is a filter you can't really wait to fit through, at least not in a reasonable time frame, and five days isn't too bad at all.

    Captain Carrot on
  • RichyRichy Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Richy wrote: »
    MyDcmbr wrote: »
    Incenjucar wrote: »
    Richy wrote: »
    I just found this girl's profile on POF. She is 22 years old. In her description she says that she has been in "some really bad relationships" (note the plural). Her profile also indicates that her longest relationship has been 7 years long - if she just broke up with the guy, then she started dating him when she was 15 years old. So if she had other bad relationships, she's been dating since before that? Am I the only one who finds that a bit young to be dating?

    Many people start dating in middle school.

    Or maybe one of the bad relationships was with a parent or other family member. Relationships are not just boyfriend/girlfriend after all.
    No, given the context I'm pretty sure she means bad boyfriend relationships.

    I hate to say this, but based on everything you've been saying about how hard it is to find local girls... why rule anyone out? Maybe this girl made some silly decisions in the past and is better now. Maybe she had several relationships going on at the same time... a long distance open thing, or whatever. If she seems interesting why not message her? If she turns out to be crazy, just... don't see her anymore. You're overthinking this.

    Now, granted, this is coming from a girl who has ruled guys out because they put "must be 420 friendly" in their profiles, or because they listed "friends" as one of their favorite shows. But I live an hour away from the biggest city in the freaking country, I can afford to be unreasonable. You should just gamble. Plus you're a dude, the chances of you ending up chopped up into little pieces on someone's floor are far far less. Live a little.
    Oh I didn't rule her out, I already messaged her in fact. I was just wondering if her implied dating history seemed reasonable - I guess it does, EggyToast's scenario seems normal enough, so it was just me not getting it from her profile.

    Richy on
    sig.gif
  • Captain CarrotCaptain Carrot Alexandria, VARegistered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Does OKCupid tell you if people read your messages and such?

    Captain Carrot on
  • JragghenJragghen Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Does OKCupid tell you if people read your messages and such?

    Nope.

    You might find it irritating, but in retrospect, comparing it and PoF, I find I prefer it that way now.

    Jragghen on
  • JustinSane07JustinSane07 __BANNED USERS regular
    edited November 2010
    You can infer that someone's read your message if they've viewed your profile after you've sent the message.

    JustinSane07 on
  • Captain CarrotCaptain Carrot Alexandria, VARegistered User regular
    edited November 2010
    I suppose. Guess she wasn't impressed, then. Oh well.

    Captain Carrot on
  • AgesAges Registered User
    edited November 2010
    Ages wrote: »
    Met Girl #1, or P as I'll call her, at the lake near where I live. She's a cute girl (only had one picture on her profile). We walked around the lake a couple of times before heading over to the pavilion when the rain started coming down. Geeked out with her for a bit about Ninja Turtles, Power Rangers, and eventually Pokemon before I concluded that I liked her. Did the hand-holding thing for a bit before she had to go back home; walked her to her car and gave her a few goodbye kisses. We have a second date tomorrow.

    Second date with her went wonderfully, even if it seemed a little high-schoolish. We met at the theater to see Due Date (her suggestion), which is in the mall. Enjoyed the movie for what it was (and enjoyed eachother a little more:winky:), and then grabbed some lunch. After lunch, for lack of anything else to do, we wandered around the mall looking around -- stopped at Barnes & Noble and then at Gamestop just for the sake of it. After about an hour of that, we agreed to hang out at my place to watch some Netflix. Introduced her to Better Off Ted (which she liked) and then enjoyed eachothers company a little bit more. Eventually we moved to the bedroom and fade to black.

    We've got another date lined up on Wednesday to see Scott Pilgrim at FSU's movie theater. I am pretty psyched.

    Ages on
  • CorvusCorvus . VancouverRegistered User regular
    edited November 2010
    I suppose. Guess she wasn't impressed, then. Oh well.

    Best not to focus on it too much. Equally possible that she read your message, looked at your profile, but didn't have time or want to respond right away. I've had that happen.

    Of course, I was checking my email like mad the last few days waiting for a response to an ongoing message conversation, so I'm not exactly the zen master here.

    Corvus on
    :so_raven:
  • Rogueknight-Rogueknight- Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Ok, so i've gone and taken the plunge and created a profile. If anyone has time to give a critique it would be very much appreciated.

    http://www.okcupid.com/profile/andysprofile

    My own reflections are possibly that better quality pictures are needed and its too wordy, but its late and i'm trying to get it done in one go.

    Rogueknight- on
  • Captain CarrotCaptain Carrot Alexandria, VARegistered User regular
    edited November 2010
    I like it a lot. If I were near you, Christian, and female, I'd send a message.

    Captain Carrot on
  • GodfatherGodfather Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Ok, so i've gone and taken the plunge and created a profile. If anyone has time to give a critique it would be very much appreciated.

    http://www.okcupid.com/profile/andysprofile

    My own reflections are possibly that better quality pictures are needed and its too wordy, but its late and i'm trying to get it done in one go.

    You are a very cheery looking person!

    Godfather on
    0WBv0.png
  • sainsain Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Anyone willing to help a mild mannered gay man?

    http://www.okcupid.com/profile/DiscoDinosaur

    sain on
  • CorvusCorvus . VancouverRegistered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Ok, so i've gone and taken the plunge and created a profile. If anyone has time to give a critique it would be very much appreciated.

    http://www.okcupid.com/profile/andysprofile

    My own reflections are possibly that better quality pictures are needed and its too wordy, but its late and i'm trying to get it done in one go.

    Just looked at your photos, and they are a little blurry/grainy. Try to get some better ones. The field hockey one looks good quality wise. The one with you and some other dude pointing needs a caption.

    Corvus on
    :so_raven:
  • tsmvengytsmvengy Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    sain wrote: »
    Anyone willing to help a mild mannered gay man?

    http://www.okcupid.com/profile/DiscoDinosaur

    I like what your wrote, but your self-summary should be more than just a list of "I like x,y,z,a,b,c." Write something deeper. Not just what you like, but what are you like?

    Also your "message me if" could be a little more telling than "you want to chat." Clearly I should message you if I want to chat.

    tsmvengy on
    steam_sig.png
  • wazillawazilla Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    I wish I drank alcohol. I got invited to go get drunk with a girl in Flint but I worked til 11PM and... well... don't drink.

    wazilla on
    Psn:wazukki
  • monikermoniker Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    wazilla wrote: »
    I wish I drank alcohol. I got invited to go get drunk with a girl in Flint but I worked til 11PM and... well... don't drink.

    ...you could start.

    moniker on
  • CorvusCorvus . VancouverRegistered User regular
    edited November 2010
    moniker wrote: »
    wazilla wrote: »
    I wish I drank alcohol. I got invited to go get drunk with a girl in Flint but I worked til 11PM and... well... don't drink.

    ...you could start.

    Just because you don't drink, doesn't mean you can't go places where people are drinking.

    Corvus on
    :so_raven:
  • monikermoniker Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Corvus wrote: »
    moniker wrote: »
    wazilla wrote: »
    I wish I drank alcohol. I got invited to go get drunk with a girl in Flint but I worked til 11PM and... well... don't drink.

    ...you could start.

    Just because you don't drink, doesn't mean you can't go places where people are drinking.

    Yeah. I mean, I was the same way for the longest time (now I typically have a beer, maybe another drink if I had a big dinner/am eating) for a variety of reasons, but that didn't keep me from going to bars with my friends.

    moniker on
This discussion has been closed.