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Uwe Boll offends everyone! (Postal the movie)

1246

Posts

  • SkyGheNeSkyGheNe Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    titmouse wrote:
    Uwe Boll isn't a world class boxer. He's a pretty good amateur who trained for the fight. And I wouldn't play against Hank Aaron because I can't play baseball.
    He was a fucking professional boxer.

    Again, doesn't mean anything. That just means he got paid for at least one fight. Doesn't mean he's world class. Certainly doesn't make him the boxing equivalent of Hank Aaron.
    The point is that saying "well this episode has nothing to it!" and then putting up the one that directly references Shakespeare is pretty freaking stupid.

    I think the point was it doesn't have a moral. A shakespeare reference isn't a moral. This doesn't really have anything to do with Uwe Bolle. Besides, not knowing Titus Andronicus doesn't make someone a moron. Quit being a turd.

    It makes them ignorant, which can be just as bad.

    SkyGheNe on
  • The Muffin ManThe Muffin Man Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    The thing is, it was something like "Oh come on guys! It's a joke match. I throw a few pulled punches, you knock me on my ass, I'll buy you a bear after". I mean, they obviously thought they were just entering a PR event, but you DO have to be pretty stupid if you didn't realize he was going to try to beat the shit out of you, considering the way he responds to critics.

    On second thought, if Uwe Boll bought me a bear, I'd let him beat the crap out of me all he wanted.

    Because shit, I'm getting a bear.
    Certainly doesn't make him the boxing equivalent of Hank Aaron.
    Granted Hank Aaron is kind of out of Boll's league in the sense of how good they are, but still. It's like if someone who's good, but not famous, challenges you. They're loading the deck. No matter how retarded the people who accepted the challenge was, it was a shitty thing to do in the first place.

    The Muffin Man on
  • SageinaRageSageinaRage Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    The only way I can envision me seeing this movie is if the Dave Foley bit is Uwe Boll sneaking up on him with the camera for the full frontal, and Dave sees him, gets mad, and then HE shits on the camera in a rage.

    Otherwise, no.

    SageinaRage on
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  • TubeTube Registered User admin
    edited January 2007
    SkyGheNe wrote:
    It makes them ignorant, which can be just as bad.

    Literally everyone in the world is ignorant. Do you know how to harmonise the modes of melodic minor? No? Ignorant. Can you list off the top of your head twenty parts that go into an F-15? No? Ignorant

    Ignorance is a privative. It means nothing.
    Granted Hank Aaron is kind of out of Boll's league in the sense of how good they are, but still. It's like if someone who's good, but not famous, challenges you. They're loading the deck. No matter how retarded the people who accepted the challenge was, it was a shitty thing to do in the first place.

    This all hinges on it being a big secret that he could box, which it really wasn't. Besides, the invitation itself implies some ability. If someone gets challenged to a game of pool and hustled, do you say the hustler was a dick? Maybe, but not as much as the guy getting hustled was an idiot.

    Tube on
  • The Muffin ManThe Muffin Man Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Then let's agree that both challenger and issuer are people we more than likely do not need to function as a society.

    The Muffin Man on
  • AccualtAccualt Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    SkyGheNe wrote:
    titmouse wrote:
    Uwe Boll isn't a world class boxer. He's a pretty good amateur who trained for the fight. And I wouldn't play against Hank Aaron because I can't play baseball.
    He was a fucking professional boxer.

    Again, doesn't mean anything. That just means he got paid for at least one fight. Doesn't mean he's world class. Certainly doesn't make him the boxing equivalent of Hank Aaron.
    The point is that saying "well this episode has nothing to it!" and then putting up the one that directly references Shakespeare is pretty freaking stupid.

    I think the point was it doesn't have a moral. A shakespeare reference isn't a moral. This doesn't really have anything to do with Uwe Bolle. Besides, not knowing Titus Andronicus doesn't make someone a moron. Quit being a turd.

    It makes them ignorant, which can be just as bad.

    That is the most ignorant comment I've heard all week.

    Accualt on
  • GoumindongGoumindong Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Accualt wrote:
    SkyGheNe wrote:
    titmouse wrote:
    Uwe Boll isn't a world class boxer. He's a pretty good amateur who trained for the fight. And I wouldn't play against Hank Aaron because I can't play baseball.
    He was a fucking professional boxer.

    Again, doesn't mean anything. That just means he got paid for at least one fight. Doesn't mean he's world class. Certainly doesn't make him the boxing equivalent of Hank Aaron.
    The point is that saying "well this episode has nothing to it!" and then putting up the one that directly references Shakespeare is pretty freaking stupid.

    I think the point was it doesn't have a moral. A shakespeare reference isn't a moral. This doesn't really have anything to do with Uwe Bolle. Besides, not knowing Titus Andronicus doesn't make someone a moron. Quit being a turd.

    It makes them ignorant, which can be just as bad.

    That is the most ignorant comment I've heard all week.

    That is pretty bad.

    Anyway, I fail to see how you can claim that Shakespeare doesnt have any artistic merit? And is somehow equivelent to shitting on a camera.

    Goumindong on
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  • TubeTube Registered User admin
    edited January 2007
    Goumindong wrote:
    Anyway, I fail to see how you can claim that Shakespeare doesnt have any artistic merit? And is somehow equivelent to shitting on a camera.

    Straw man. No one claimed shakespeare doesn't have artistic merit, and no one said south park was the equivalent. The original point was that South Park often contains similar themes to those described in Postal, and as such the themes themselves aren't something to get up in arms about.

    Tube on
  • The Muffin ManThe Muffin Man Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    And we were having a fairly intelligent discussion on what made South Park different.
    Then that episode came along.
    "God how do you not know an obscure, early tragedy by William Shakespeare? Fucking morons."

    Now we're back to the top point again.
    And this is a thread about Uwe Boll.

    The Muffin Man on
  • GSMGSM Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    "You got D&D in my G&T!"

    "You got G&T in my D&D!"


    Seriously, the problem with this movie is that we all know Uwe Boll is incapable of subtle nuance, timing, plotting, and dialog. A level of skill is required for comedy, especially over-the-top outrageous-to-offensive comedy. Because you have to have something to say behind your offensive content. I don't like South Park, but when I've seen it I know it had something to say. It contains a level of social commentary. But Uwe is not going to do that. Because he can't. So the result will be unbearable to everybody on Earth.

    GSM on
    We'll get back there someday.
  • littwentythreelittwentythree Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    I only read about halfway through page two, but I must ask...

    What the fuck? You're all getting in line to buy tickets to a film with features such as "guy crapping"?

    littwentythree on
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  • TubeTube Registered User admin
    edited January 2007
    uh, no actually.

    Tube on
  • SkyGheNeSkyGheNe Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Goumindong wrote:
    Accualt wrote:
    SkyGheNe wrote:
    titmouse wrote:
    Uwe Boll isn't a world class boxer. He's a pretty good amateur who trained for the fight. And I wouldn't play against Hank Aaron because I can't play baseball.
    He was a fucking professional boxer.

    Again, doesn't mean anything. That just means he got paid for at least one fight. Doesn't mean he's world class. Certainly doesn't make him the boxing equivalent of Hank Aaron.
    The point is that saying "well this episode has nothing to it!" and then putting up the one that directly references Shakespeare is pretty freaking stupid.

    I think the point was it doesn't have a moral. A shakespeare reference isn't a moral. This doesn't really have anything to do with Uwe Bolle. Besides, not knowing Titus Andronicus doesn't make someone a moron. Quit being a turd.

    It makes them ignorant, which can be just as bad.

    That is the most ignorant comment I've heard all week.

    That is pretty bad.

    Ignorance can lead to stupid decisions. In my opinion it can lead to some atrocious decision making or end results.

    Or in this case, stupid comments.

    SkyGheNe on
  • littwentythreelittwentythree Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    I got to page two before I gave up, that seemed to be the general consensus.

    littwentythree on
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  • GSMGSM Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    I just hope that this hideous film will not drag through the dirt the name of videogames in general. Just when the Wii was trying to get more people to think of videogames as something for everyone, Uwe releases a movie that makes videogames look worse than the worst videogames even actually have to offer.

    GSM on
    We'll get back there someday.
  • TubeTube Registered User admin
    edited January 2007
    It'd be pretty hard to come up with something that makes games look worse than the game postal already does.

    Tube on
  • ArchonexArchonex No hard feelings, right? Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    GSM wrote:
    "You got D&D in my G&T!"

    "You got G&T in my D&D!"


    Seriously, the problem with this movie is that we all know Uwe Boll is incapable of subtle nuance, timing, plotting, and dialog. A level of skill is required for comedy, especially over-the-top outrageous-to-offensive comedy. Because you have to have something to say behind your offensive content. I don't like South Park, but when I've seen it I know it had something to say. It contains a level of social commentary. But Uwe is not going to do that. Because he can't. So the result will be unbearable to everybody on Earth.

    That is the thing people should be worrying about. I halfway expect the "shitting" scene to be so blatant and unwarranted that it'll cause a backlash all by itself.

    Oh, and noone should be congratulating this guy for using controversy to make money. Neither should they be glad that he's found a way to exploit the movie making industry through shock value. Just because he knows how to play "dirty" in terms of the movie industry doesn't mean that some of the stuff that's going to be in this movie is justified. If this film is anything like the other ones he's produced it's liable to have all the tact and grace of a fully loaded semi crashing through a building. Hell, if we go off the theory that it's alright to exploit loopholes and other people then I should be able to walk down the street and rob the local bum of his booze money for a drink, simply because he's malnourished and weak.

    As for the boxing thing, it was my understanding that Boll promised the critics training and appropriate equipment. If he didn't do that then he's at fault. More to the point seeing as how he claims he's a professional he should have acted with a bit more grace (IE not causing someone to double over and vomit from hitting them so much.). That being said, the critics were stupid for not walking out with that other guy the second Boll started acting like an asshat. That should have been a clear warning to them that Boll wasn't going to play nice. Oh, and the whole incident with him threatening them pre-match too should have been a tip-off as well.

    Overall I get the feeling that Boll is going to end up making a movie that lacks a point in relation to the controversial issues it's going to bring up. If there was a point to him re-enacting a school shooting I could possibly understand, but given the source material, and his track record I have serious doubts.

    Edit: Oh, and comparing shitting in Southpark with shitting in real life is kind of stupid. Seeing an undetailed brown blob on a cartoon doesn't elicit the same reaction as it would if you saw it in real life. Hell, if you want an example just look at a Southpark episode that has this and go watch Jackass 2 during the bathroom scene. There's a world of difference in how disgusting it is.

    Archonex on
  • core tacticcore tactic Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    I can't wait for Seed. Finally, there's going to be a movie that's not videogame related we can lambast him over!

    core tactic on
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  • NevaNeva Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    It'd be pretty hard to come up with something that makes games look worse than the game postal already does.

    Publicity. And a man shitting on a camera I guess.

    Neva on
    SC2 Beta: Neva.ling

    "Everyone who is capable of logical thought should be able to see why you shouldn't sell lifetime subscriptions to an MMO. Cell phone companies and drug dealers don't offer lifetime subscriptions either, guess why?" - Mugaaz
  • MiSTieOtakuMiSTieOtaku Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    So, Uwe Boll who makes bad movies is attempting to make a bad movie? This is not right. This is not right at all. He is defying his place as the evil which rapes our beloved games by turning them into horrible, plot lacking, piles of refuse that could hardly be described as films. With this act, we're all doomed! When the movie is finished, and Uwe Boll actually succeeds in his plans, we will see the signs of the End Times, and reality will crumble all around us. The universe will wither, and planets will be torn asunder whilst the stars burn out and all of existence, as we know it, will devour itself in a display of terrifying cosmic cannibalism.

    /melodrama

    Yeah, it'll be really horrible, and hopefully he will garner the hatred of all people and not just gamers. With any luck, he will never make another movie again. Though I don't think that will ever happen.

    MiSTieOtaku on
  • AoiAoi Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    My biggest suggestion is ignore it. Let the thread die. Don't bitch to people about it. Just ignore it. Let it die, and hope it goes away. It actually worries me a little what happens if people point at it, talk about this kind of shit being what comes from video games. This shit ain't going to any widespread release from the sound of it. It just sounds straight to video, and that's the easiest place to let it get buried.

    Aoi on
  • core tacticcore tactic Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    I don't think a guy shitting on the camera constitutes the end times, the aligning of the stars when the great elder gods reawaken to strip men of their mortal souls to funnel into their gaping maws of destruction.


    But yeah, it's still a pretty bad idea.

    core tactic on
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  • ZombiemamboZombiemambo Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    GSM wrote:
    "You got D&D in my G&T!"

    "You got G&T in my D&D!"


    Seriously, the problem with this movie is that we all know Uwe Boll is incapable of subtle nuance, timing, plotting, and dialog. A level of skill is required for comedy, especially over-the-top outrageous-to-offensive comedy. Because you have to have something to say behind your offensive content. I don't like South Park, but when I've seen it I know it had something to say. It contains a level of social commentary. But Uwe is not going to do that. Because he can't. So the result will be unbearable to everybody on Earth.

    Apparently that doesn't matter either, seeing as Borat was so well-received.

    Zombiemambo on
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  • TubeTube Registered User admin
    edited January 2007
    To give some perspective, an English film has just been released in which one man gets liposuction and another man drinks the mixture of fat and blood that results.

    Tube on
  • TaramoorTaramoor Storyteller Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    To give some perspective, an English film has just been released in which one man gets liposuction and another man drinks the mixture of fat and blood that results.

    baseketball.jpg

    Taramoor on
  • core tacticcore tactic Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    To give some perspective, an English film has just been released in which one man gets liposuction and another man drinks the mixture of fat and blood that results.
    Uh, not going to ask.



    Violent and "shock factor" movies really aren't anything new. Just look at Battle Royal. It's just that he's trying to make Postal as offensive as possible, and not just in a gross out sort of way either. People have been making jokes about 9/11 and the like for some time, but this sort of suggests he feels America had it coming or something. Of course, when questioned about it, he'll say something like it's his "artistic vision", but the whole point was really just to hit a sensitive spot so he could make an assload of money off the contraversy.

    core tactic on
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  • The Lovely BastardThe Lovely Bastard Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Personally, I will only see this movie if it has no plot whatsoever, but just a series of offensive vignettes for no good reason.

    The Lovely Bastard on
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  • ArchonexArchonex No hard feelings, right? Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Personally, I will only see this movie if it has no plot whatsoever, but just a series of offensive vignettes for no good reason.

    I'm curious as to how Boll is going to capture the feel of the games. In Postal 2 you could go through the game as an everyday citizen. In fact, you would never even have to pick up a gun, so far as I can recall. The premise of the game was that the game gets as raunchy and dirty as you want it to be. You could be some schmoe picking up a carton of milk at the local super-market, or you could steal the milk and go balls out, slaughtering everything in the market and making a glorious escape out of a second floor window. Part of the appeal of it was that you controlled the character, and because of that you controlled how the game played and reacted to your actions. Unless there's some real character development on the part of the Postal guy I don't see how that's going to work in the form of a movie.

    Archonex on
  • GyralGyral Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    I fail to see the value of filming a man taking a shit. If I want to see that, I'll turn to my right and watch myself in the mirror when I'm on the crapper.

    Gyral on
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  • revolverevolve Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Uwe Boll is the film version of the GNAA or Bantown. He trolls the theater.

    EDIT: On that note, I'd like to congratulate him, since obviously his tactic is working.

    revolve on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • ArchonexArchonex No hard feelings, right? Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Gyral wrote:
    I fail to see the value of filming a man taking a shit. If I want to see that, I'll turn to my right and watch myself in the mirror when I'm on the crapper.

    No, man, you just don't get it, they're going to be shitting on the camera so it'll be all artsy and funny and all that crap.


    Speaking of that particular scene, since when was shit ever a part of the Postal series? I know you could piss on people to put out fires and stuff, but I don't particularly ever remember that sort of thing. More to the point, Postal (2, at least.) is about satirizing various radical and not so radical cultures. It didn't just take the lololAmerica approach. It satirized literally everything, including Americans, terrorists, conservatives, radicals, capitalists, hippies, drug dealers (Though strangely never cops. For the most part they were pretty damn heroic.), various foreign cultures, sexual lifestyles, and a ton of other stuff, but never something truly crass like shitting on cameras. Hell, most of the vile stuff you could do you had to go out of your way to get to work. I didn't even realize I could put a cat on the barrel of my gun and use it as an impromptu silencer until half-way through the game, much less poisoning food or getting ATF agents killed by initiating a bust pre-maturely.

    Archonex on
  • The Lovely BastardThe Lovely Bastard Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    If it's going to be someone shitting on the camera, there at least needs to be an anal POV shot.

    For art.

    The Lovely Bastard on
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  • cj iwakuracj iwakura The Rhythm Regent Bears The Name FreedomRegistered User regular
    edited January 2007
    The most terrifying thing of all is, according to IGN's 'video game movie section', the man is showing no signs of stopping.

    Bloodrayne 2, more Dungeon Siege, Alone in the Dark 2... and worse, he's actually getting good actors to work for him.

    (What is Jason Turkish Statham doing in Dungeon Siege?)

    Whatever unholy pact Boll made, it seems to be working like a charm.

    The guy has to be stopped, somehow.

    cj iwakura on
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  • SpeedySwafSpeedySwaf Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    cj iwakura wrote:
    The most terrifying thing of all is, according to IGN's 'video game movie section', the man is showing no signs of stopping.

    Bloodrayne 2, more Dungeon Siege, Alone in the Dark 2... and worse, he's actually getting good actors to work for him.

    (What is Jason Turkish Statham doing in Dungeon Siege?)

    Whatever unholy pact Boll made, it seems to be working like a charm.

    The guy has to be stopped, somehow.
    I wouldn't worry about it. All these future movies are for licenses he owns: I seriously doubt any producer in the future will even consider giving him their game license.

    SpeedySwaf on
  • Krunch XPKrunch XP Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    SpeedySwaf wrote:
    I wouldn't worry about it. All these future movies are for licenses he owns: I seriously doubt any producer in the future will even consider giving him their game license.

    You can buy the rights to produce a movie based on intellectual property with a fucking sandwich. I doubt Uwe can be stopped.

    Krunch XP on
  • RoshinRoshin My backlog can be seen from space SwedenRegistered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Did Postal (the games) really cause "endless controversy"? I know they wanted them to (badly), but did anyone really care? I mean, the first had it's moments, but the second one looked and played like a bad Unreal mod and was pure eye torture.

    Roshin on
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  • XieflowXieflow Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    this has probably been posted, but this is how the Uwe Boll movie thing happens
    http://www.escapistmagazine.com/issue/81/4
    Basically, think of him less as a director / movie maker, and more as some sorta money launderer.

    Xieflow on
  • WoodroezWoodroez Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    dragonsama wrote:
    All I can say is that if any of this is true then he has gone way to far this time. If this does not get him blacklisted in Hollywood I don't know what will.

    Unfortunatly, I'm pretty sure he has little-to-nothing to do with Hollywood in the business sense, so blacklisting won't do a terrible lot of good.

    Woodroez on
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  • ViscountalphaViscountalpha The pen is mightier than the sword http://youtu.be/G_sBOsh-vyIRegistered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Some studio took one for the team by funding this movie. If it ever actually sees release, Boll will be murdered by some activist and the world will be a better place.

    Im still hoping he dies of a heart attack.

    Viscountalpha on
  • AbsoluteZeroAbsoluteZero The new film by Quentin Koopantino Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Some studio took one for the team by funding this movie. If it ever actually sees release, Boll will be murdered by some activist and the world will be a better place.

    Im still hoping he dies of a shark attack.

    fixed

    AbsoluteZero on
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