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The Snooty Webcomics Thread

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Posts

  • HuxleyHuxley Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    If we examined artistic criticism, at least 75 percent would fall under the category, "I liked you better when you were depressed."

    Huxley on
  • KazakaKazaka Registered User
    edited October 2010
    New sig mother fuckers

    Thanks Sarks, you're a pal

    Kazaka on
    ... They ate, slept and worked. Some of them found uninteresting partners at work who they married and came home to. Sometimes they would half-heartededly thrust into each other and children were made. They lived a middle class existence until their deaths to heart disease and cancer.
  • GaslightGaslight Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    you don't have to pussyfoot around it

    everyone knows that xkcd is shit

    I don't think it's shit, I honestly don't, it's like one of like five or less web comics that I actually regularly check for new updates, it just seems more and more...

    What's the word I'm looking for?

    Tepid? I'm gonna go with tepid.

    Gaslight on
    bowen wrote: »
    The bacteria in your poop exist everywhere.
  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    Faye and Martin meet in a McDonalds, Martin with his son Hunter and Faye with her husband Derek and their children Tyler and Hope. They talk half-heartedly about the old days, Martin's divorce, their children, before Martin's order is called. This is the one day of the week where he is allowed an unsupervised visit with his son, and he only has two more hours with him before he has to accompany him on the long subway ride back to his mother's.

    Martin will go home and stare blankly at the walls in his dark one-bedroom basement apartment because the cable was cut off three weeks ago. He has a court-appointed meeting with an anger management counselor in the morning. He fingers his two-year AA chip, numb to the sense of accomplishment he felt when he earned it two months prior.


    edit: aw are we done with that? dang.

    Metzger Meister on
  • AphostileAphostile Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    Re: Captchas. For some reason one of them earlier today tried to make me type German words. With umlauts and everything.

    QC spiraling into suburbia reminds me of ultra-depressing Calvin and Hobbes fan comics where he goes on ritalin.

    Spiraling into Suburbia sounds like a good name for an indie band.

    Aphostile on
    Tinychat is dead. Long live Tinychat. D3 BTag: Aphostile#1366 : Steam - ADD ME JERKS : | Xbox Live : LastAphostile | PS4 : Aphostile
  • StiltsStilts Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    ITT: QC meets Funky Winkerbean.

    Stilts on
    IKknkhU.gif
  • KazakaKazaka Registered User
    edited October 2010
    Faye and Martin meet in a McDonalds, Martin with his son Hunter and Faye with her husband Derek and their children Tyler and Hope. They talk half-heartedly about the old days, Martin's divorce, their children, before Martin's order is called. This is the one day of the week where he is allowed an unsupervised visit with his son, and he only has two more hours with him before he has to accompany him on the long subway ride back to his mother's.

    Martin will go home and stare blankly at the walls in his dark one-bedroom basement apartment because the cable was cut off three weeks ago. He has a court-appointed meeting with an anger management counselor in the morning. He fingers his two-year AA chip, numb to the sense of accomplishment he felt when he earned it two months prior.


    edit: aw are we done with that? dang.

    keep going I'm almost there

    edit: oh god their kids' names are so shitty and generic
    oh god

    Kazaka on
    ... They ate, slept and worked. Some of them found uninteresting partners at work who they married and came home to. Sometimes they would half-heartededly thrust into each other and children were made. They lived a middle class existence until their deaths to heart disease and cancer.
  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    Actually, no, that's not accurate.

    Faye is so insufferable and broken as a person that she'll never actually marry or have children. She will be a lonely spinster for her entire life until she's crushed under a mountain of newspapers, and her cats will feast on her body until a neighbor complains about the smell.

    Metzger Meister on
  • SarksusSarksus ATTACK AND DETHRONE GODRegistered User regular
    edited October 2010
    Yess, I expect more of this when I wake up.

    Sarksus on
  • GreasyKidsStuffGreasyKidsStuff MOMMM! ROAST BEEF WANTS TO KISS GIRLS ON THE TITTIES!Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    Fucking Jeph Jacques is trying way too hard to be WACKY and HOLY CRAP CAPS LOCK and WHOOAOOAAA GUYYYYYS in his news posts, reminds me way too much of Ryan North and it pisses me off. Nobody gets to be Ryan North but Ryan North.

    Not sure why his news posts are what pisses me off the most.

    GreasyKidsStuff on
  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    Hannelore, without the positive influence of her friends, will eventually succumb to the schizophrenia that lead her to believe her father was a famous scientist. She will become increasingly reclusive and mistrustful of the outside world, and her OCD will worsen.

    She will eventually be arrested for violently assaulting a small child for sneezing near her while she shops for groceries that don't contain the letter A and be forcibly committed to an institution for the criminally insane. She will receive no visitors, phone calls, or mail. She is killed by a SWAT sniper after taking several of the asylum's personnel hostage with a knife she stole from the facility's kitchen.

    Metzger Meister on
  • DichotomyDichotomy Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    there can only be one ryan north at a time


    in order to become the new ryan north, you must successfully trick the current ryan north

    Dichotomy on
    0BnD8l3.gif
  • TonkkaTonkka Some one in the club tonight Has stolen my ideas.Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    These webcomics are not snooty enough for me.

    Tonkka on
    Steam: evilumpire Battle.net: T0NKKA#1588 PS4: T_0_N_N_K_A Twitter Art blog/Portfolio! Twitch?! HEY SATAN Shirts and such
  • SabreMauSabreMau ネトゲしよう 판다리아Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    Dichotomy wrote: »
    there can only be one ryan north at a time


    in order to become the new ryan north, you must successfully trick the current ryan north

    cled.png

    SabreMau on
  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    man, i kind of depressed myself with that one about Hannelore. like, i had to end it with the SWAT shoot-out or it would have ended with her dying alone and afraid, surrounded by strangers, forgotten, with nothing but a state-sponsored incineration awaiting her because no one claims her remains.

    Metzger Meister on
  • KazakaKazaka Registered User
    edited October 2010
    Marigold threw her keys down on the counter after straining to wrench them out of her pocket. The jeans were too tight even though they were only about a month old; she had gained more weight. Sighing pathetically at the realization, she awaited Angus' arrival from work as her computer booted up (She had a raid tonight, but it didn't excite her. It hadn't for months). His prospects at Deltatech looked optimistic at first. That was two years ago. He had been glazed over for promotion after promotion. As his depression waxed, her "dream marriage" waned, culminating in Angus' open admission that he "simply didn't find her attractive" about a week ago. Maybe he never did. She adjusted her wrists so the edge of the computer desk wouldn't dig in to the more recent cuts; they were only partway healed, and if they opened there he'd see the blood.

    They didn't greet each other as Angus walked past her, sitting on the couch and turning on the TV.

    Kazaka on
    ... They ate, slept and worked. Some of them found uninteresting partners at work who they married and came home to. Sometimes they would half-heartededly thrust into each other and children were made. They lived a middle class existence until their deaths to heart disease and cancer.
  • MaceraMacera Registered User
    edited October 2010
    thsiiswhat.jpg

    Macera on
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  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    Dora walks into her home, pulling off her sneakers with a wince. Another 12 hour shift at the hospital. Work as an RN was hard at the best of times, and these were the worst. She'd thought that when her husband had died in the fire, she'd never feel that kind of pain again. She walks to her son's room, knocking, a flicker of hope in her heart, a tiny flame that is extinguished by the empty vacuum of a bed not slept in for days. She hasn't touched a thing since young Martin, named for a man she loved once, had disappeared, stealing the money out of her purse and using her bank card to fuel a meth binge that, unbeknownst to the aging former coffee shop owner (a time in her life that she was still paying off debt for), has left him dead of an overdose. She hears the phone ringing, hoping that it's him, and collapses to the floor, speechless, as she listens to a police officer deliver the news.

    Metzger Meister on
  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    OR, alternatively...


    Dora sighs as she walks into her apartment, kicking her brother Sven's shoes out of the way. She's told him so many times not to leave them where everyone walks... "everyone." As if she ever had company other than her drunken, womanizing older brother. He had brought home an obviously smashed 16 year old girl a few days ago, and she had watched with a heart to broken to feel for the poor girl as the teenager stumbled, mascara running, to the front door of the apartment, ashamed and dead silent. She had told Sven that day that he had two weeks to find a new place to live.

    Three weeks later, there she was, kicking his shoes out of the way and walking to his bedroom, furious, determined not to allow him to take advantage of her any more. She opens the door to find him dead, a gray bloated body stinking of Thunderbird wine and the vomit clogging it's long-still lungs.


    edit: goddamn, i gotta quit this and watch some cartoons or something, this shit is bumming me out.

    Metzger Meister on
  • KazakaKazaka Registered User
    edited October 2010
    NO

    THE SUBURBS WILL CONSUME ALL WITH THE GRAY MIST OF DEPRESSION AND MEDIOCRITY

    MORE, MORE!

    (Seriously this is fucking awesome and fun in a twisted way)

    Kazaka on
    ... They ate, slept and worked. Some of them found uninteresting partners at work who they married and came home to. Sometimes they would half-heartededly thrust into each other and children were made. They lived a middle class existence until their deaths to heart disease and cancer.
  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    let's see, which characters haven't we covered...

    Metzger Meister on
  • SabreMauSabreMau ネトゲしよう 판다리아Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    Yelling Bird.

    SabreMau on
  • RaneadosRaneados Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    metz you know how you sometimes wonder why you're alone


    yeah

    Raneados on
  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    i don't really wonder, rane.

    i know.

    Metzger Meister on
  • RaneadosRaneados Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    ways to make yourself better:

    kinda stop a little bit

    Raneados on
  • KazakaKazaka Registered User
    edited October 2010
    Raneados wrote: »
    metz you know how you sometimes wonder why you're alone


    yeah

    Hey man, I wrote one too and I am arguably the biggest fan

    My sig, see it? That's the original gangsta of this trend

    So don't you fucking forget me when you take stock of who's alone in here

    Kazaka on
    ... They ate, slept and worked. Some of them found uninteresting partners at work who they married and came home to. Sometimes they would half-heartededly thrust into each other and children were made. They lived a middle class existence until their deaths to heart disease and cancer.
  • GatsbyGatsby Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    man, i kind of depressed myself with that one about Hannelore. like, i had to end it with the SWAT shoot-out or it would have ended with her dying alone and afraid, surrounded by strangers, forgotten, with nothing but a state-sponsored incineration awaiting her because no one claims her remains.

    Hannelore sat there, staring at the middle-distance in the tiny room she now called home. They had all left and moved on. She was at a standstill, one part self imposed as well as thrust upon her. The bland existance she now stumbled through had left her emptier and more fragile than before. Glassy eyes begin to shine with newly brimmed tears as thoughts drift back to the coffee shop, her friends and her fake date. She liked that fake date. She wished she'd had another, even if it wasn't real. Even if the gentleman she had would merely be another actor for her joyless life. The faint din of the traffic outside slowed and faded away. The little sunlight shining between the blinds wavered then fell to darkness. Everything was retreating. Everything was leaving. She merely stayed where she was.

    Gatsby on
  • CoinageCoinage Heaviside LayerRegistered User regular
    edited October 2010
    Fucking Jeph Jacques is trying way too hard to be WACKY and HOLY CRAP CAPS LOCK and WHOOAOOAAA GUYYYYYS in his news posts, reminds me way too much of Ryan North and it pisses me off. Nobody gets to be Ryan North but Ryan North.

    Not sure why his news posts are what pisses me off the most.
    He's been doing that for a long time, I don't know why you're just getting mad about it.

    So I finally looked it up and I can't believe Hannelore was actually born in space. Holy shit what the fuck. You've probably all seen it already but this guest comic by Chris Hastings is good. It's interesting how the guest strips seem to always be making fun of the comic...

    Coinage on
    t1iylq0d7o1p.png
  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    normally i'm pretty much a happy dude, but now and again i enjoy indulging in the darker side of things.

    let me wallow.

    Metzger Meister on
  • RaneadosRaneados Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    normally i'm pretty much a happy dude, but now and again i enjoy indulging in the darker side of things.

    let me wallow.

    don't you talk about being sad and depressed a lot

    and self-deprecating?

    METZGER YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO BE EVERY EMOTION

    i am hereby banning you from being: indignant, jubilant, and/or crotchety

    Raneados on
  • GaslightGaslight Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    OK I was kinda bummed out tonight anyway and now GEEZ GUYS...

    Gaslight on
    bowen wrote: »
    The bacteria in your poop exist everywhere.
  • KazakaKazaka Registered User
    edited October 2010
    Metz we are officially a two-man writing crew

    You can do all the writing since you are better, I will sit at a large desk and smoke cigars
    (still though we are a total crew)
    (a team if you will)

    Kazaka on
    ... They ate, slept and worked. Some of them found uninteresting partners at work who they married and came home to. Sometimes they would half-heartededly thrust into each other and children were made. They lived a middle class existence until their deaths to heart disease and cancer.
  • CrashmoCrashmo Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    Oh looky Rane is fixed

    Increasing my internet forums efficiency by at least 4%

    Crashmo on
    polar-bearsig.jpg
  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    i use self-deprecating humor a lot, but just to make people laugh. i don't really feel that way!

    and yeah i do have kind of ups and downs, you know, but mostly i'm pretty happy.


    tide goes in, tide goes out, sun rises and sets. sometimes i'll be happy for a couple weeks and then i'll be bummed for a while, shit just goes that way man. aint no thang.

    Metzger Meister on
  • SabreMauSabreMau ネトゲしよう 판다리아Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    wtthaitime.jpg

    SabreMau on
  • Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    "efelants"?

    Centipede Damascus on
  • SabreMauSabreMau ネトゲしよう 판다리아Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    And wats.

    SabreMau on
  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    i like that lady's art style a lot.

    Metzger Meister on
  • GeoMitchGeoMitch Registered User
    edited October 2010
    that comic rubs me the wrong way

    i don't like the cut of its jib

    it's giving me some bad mojo

    GeoMitch on
    Gamertag: GeoMtch Steam Google+
  • SabreMauSabreMau ネトゲしよう 판다리아Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    GeoMitch wrote: »
    it's giving me some bad mojo

    But it gave me a degree.

    picture011j.jpg

    The best univeristy.

    SabreMau on
This discussion has been closed.