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Friendship or Relationship?

Red_ArremerRed_Arremer Registered User regular
edited October 2010 in Help / Advice Forum
I should start out by saying I have a syndrome that leads to me being very short and looking different (I know I say this a lot, but it really does change the situation sometimes). I've had two appointments with a girl at my college and I'm really attracted to her. Both times we've had a nice conversation and I made her laugh a few times, and today at the end of it she gave me her email and number and suggested we go get something to eat sometime. I'm thinking she might be attracted to me too but since I've never been in a relationship before, and I'm kind of unsure about myself because of the syndrome thing, I was also thinking that maybe she just finds me interesting and wants to be friends. She's also 7 years older than me. What do you guys think?

Red_Arremer on

Posts

  • THEPAIN73THEPAIN73 Shiny. Real shiny.Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    I would say do it.

    She gave you a number and her email.

    The worst thing that could happen is she says no and ends the date with a hug.

    Good luck though!!!

    THEPAIN73 on
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  • BerkshireBerkshire Earth Federal Forces MassachusettsRegistered User regular
    edited October 2010
    Well, this doesn't answer your question, but what's the harm in going with her and seeing where it goes? You've said that you enjoy her company, so if you're going to have a good time, go for it. If it turns out she just wants to be friends, that's the way it works.

    The fact that she gave you her number and invited you to dinner, though, makes me think that she doesn't just want to be buddies.

    What was the nature of your appointments with her, if you don't mind me asking?

    Berkshire on
    "And don't you ever stand for that sort of thing. Someone ever tries to kill you, you try to kill 'em right back."
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  • RUNN1NGMANRUNN1NGMAN Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    I think that by the end of the first "date" you'll have a better idea of what she wants--she gave you her email/number and made the suggestion, so she obviously has no problem making the first move. She'll probably make it clear where she wants things to go.

    RUNN1NGMAN on
  • Red_ArremerRed_Arremer Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    Yeah I am definitely planning on taking her up on the offer for lunch. Appointments were for study abroad. I'm just seeing if I have any basis for being hopeful.

    Red_Arremer on
  • FantasmaFantasma Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    No offense intended, but does your syndrome affects your performance as a man?

    Fantasma on
    Hear my warnings, unbelievers. We have raised altars in this land so that we may sacrifice you to our gods. There is no hope in opposing the inevitable. Put down your arms, unbelievers, and bow before the forces of Chaos!
  • Red_ArremerRed_Arremer Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    No.

    Red_Arremer on
  • FantasmaFantasma Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    Then, why so worried?, go ahead and make her happy.

    Fantasma on
    Hear my warnings, unbelievers. We have raised altars in this land so that we may sacrifice you to our gods. There is no hope in opposing the inevitable. Put down your arms, unbelievers, and bow before the forces of Chaos!
  • SentrySentry Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    So wait, is she a student or is she staff?

    Sentry on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    wrote:
    When I was a little kid, I always pretended I was the hero,' Skip said.
    'Fuck yeah, me too. What little kid ever pretended to be part of the lynch-mob?'
  • Red_ArremerRed_Arremer Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    I guess she would be part of the staff.

    Red_Arremer on
  • SpazHappySpazHappy Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    Are you attracted to her?

    SpazHappy on
  • FantasmaFantasma Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    SpazHappy wrote: »
    Are you attracted to her?

    He states that he is attracted to her in the first post.

    Fantasma on
    Hear my warnings, unbelievers. We have raised altars in this land so that we may sacrifice you to our gods. There is no hope in opposing the inevitable. Put down your arms, unbelievers, and bow before the forces of Chaos!
  • SentrySentry Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    Red_Arremer wrote: »
    I guess she would be part of the staff.

    Interesting.

    Well, I say go for it. You've got nothing to lose. But honestly, trying to put a label on it this early out is something of a fools errand. You know she at least wants to spend time with you outside of an office setting. Thats at least got some potential. Take her up on the offer and see what's what.

    Sentry on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    wrote:
    When I was a little kid, I always pretended I was the hero,' Skip said.
    'Fuck yeah, me too. What little kid ever pretended to be part of the lynch-mob?'
  • MrOlettaMrOletta Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    Her having the initiative to give you her phone number and email is a very strong positive signal.

    Go out with her and see where things go. I think you'll have a much better idea after that in regards to what path she's intending you two to take (friends/relationship).

    Good luck!

    MrOletta on
    http://olverawoodworks.com
  • ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning And the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator Mod Emeritus
    edited October 2010
    How old are YOU? 7 years is a much bigger difference when you're 20 than it is when you're 35.

    Anyway, pretty much no matter what you look like, all anyone can ever do is see where it goes. Or sabotage it early by being paranoid. Lots of people go that route too. Take it easy and enjoy yourself, and no matter where it goes at least you had a good time.

    ceres on
    And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
  • Red_ArremerRed_Arremer Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    I'm 19. I think she's about 26.

    Red_Arremer on
  • CryogenCryogen Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    Red_Arremer wrote: »
    I'm kind of unsure about myself because of the syndrome thing, I was also thinking that maybe she just finds me interesting and wants to be friends.

    That's for her to decide. Don't make the decision for her! You're interested in her, she gave you an opening to get to know each other, so take her up on it and get to know her. And to reiterate, because this is important - let HER decide if your syndrome is a reason not to want to date you.

    Cryogen on
  • Red_ArremerRed_Arremer Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    So how long should I wait before I call/email her and suggest we go out?

    Red_Arremer on
  • YogoYogo Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    Red_Arremer wrote: »
    So how long should I wait before I call/email her and suggest we go out?

    I can't give you any solid advice without sounding like a cliche, but you should call her when you feel the time is right. Be at ease and don't stress over how many minutes/hours/days since the last time you saw her. Treat it as a casual thing and you will appear more at ease. It will also prevent you from rushing things ahead of time and make you look less like leech in the eyes of the other person.

    tl;dr

    Give it 2-3 days and don't stress over it.

    Yogo on
  • Red_ArremerRed_Arremer Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    Sounds good. Today I think I'm going to text her something like "Hey realized I was stupid and didn't give you my number yesterday. It's ===.

    -Red_Arremer"

    Red_Arremer on
  • JebusUDJebusUD Adventure! Candy IslandRegistered User regular
    edited October 2010
    yeah, and don't say "hey lets go out"

    Say, "hey I'm going to do ____. Want to come?" or "Want to go do ___ with me?"

    JebusUD on
    and I wonder about my neighbors even though I don't have them
    but they're listening to every word I say
  • Red_ArremerRed_Arremer Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    Well she suggested we go get something at a specific restaurant, so I don't know if it would be rude to be all "I'm going to the exact place we were talking about eating without you. Want to come?"

    I think "hey I have some free time between class. Want to go to so-and-so?" is good.

    Red_Arremer on
  • JebusUDJebusUD Adventure! Candy IslandRegistered User regular
    edited October 2010
    Red_Arremer wrote: »
    Well she suggested we go get something at a specific restaurant, so I don't know if it would be rude to be all "I'm going to the exact place we were talking about eating without you. Want to come?"

    I think "hey I have some free time between class. Want to go to so-and-so?" is good.

    Yeah, that sounds real good.

    Sounds like she is probably into you to, because she pretty much made it a date.

    Good luck.

    JebusUD on
    and I wonder about my neighbors even though I don't have them
    but they're listening to every word I say
  • CryogenCryogen Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    Red_Arremer wrote: »
    Sounds good. Today I think I'm going to text her something like "Hey realized I was stupid and didn't give you my number yesterday. It's ===.

    -Red_Arremer"

    Don't say stuff like this. Stop putting yourself down. And what you're suggesting is putting the ball back in her court again, like you're saying "Hey, heres my number. You organize something, and tell me when it is"

    She's already opened the door by suggesting dinner, and even a specific restaurant. All you have to do is make it happen. Call her and say "Hey, that restaurant you mentioned? Lets go! Are you free this friday?"

    Cryogen on
  • Red_ArremerRed_Arremer Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    Well I sent that to her earlier. I didn't call myself stupid though. I left that out.

    Red_Arremer on
  • Descendant XDescendant X Skyrim is my god now. Outpost 31Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    Seriously. I figure that you're nervous about this whole thing, and I don't blame you.

    The best thing that you can do is give her a call tomorrow and ask her if she wants to go with you to the restaurant she suggested on whatever day you think would be best. It's almost guaranteed that she'll accept.

    She wants you to ask her out for dinner. Do it.

    Do eet!

    Descendant X on
    Garry: I know you gentlemen have been through a lot, but when you find the time I'd rather not spend the rest of the winter TIED TO THIS FUCKING COUCH!
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