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I got served (Law and Order: Hurf Durf Durr edition)

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    FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    We, the people, find Grey Ghost guilty of lameness and complicity with the man

    Fandyien on
    reposig.jpg
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    UbikUbik oh pete, that's later. maybe we'll be dead by then Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    No system made by man will be perfect

    But it's better than nothing

    Ubik on
    l8e1peic77w3.jpg

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    SeriouslySeriously Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    I was on a jury recently but they settled the day of the trial

    so lame

    Seriously on
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    TheRealBadgerTheRealBadger Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Fandyien wrote: »
    A lawyer, eh

    Is there any way I can get out of this

    I doubt it. It may be different where you are but over here if a witness has been summoned and doesn't appear, a warrant for their arrest can be issued.

    Just go along and do it. All you have to do is tell the truth to the best of your recollection. "I don't remember" is a perfectly acceptable answer. Most likely it will be over quite quickly.

    Unless you start with the shenanigans.

    TheRealBadger on
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    FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Well, shucks, so long as I can truthfully be all "shit I don't remember just look at my year old statement" i'll be

    AIGHT.

    Fandyien on
    reposig.jpg
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    KakodaimonosKakodaimonos Code fondler Helping the 1% get richerRegistered User regular
    edited November 2010
    TheRealBadger wrote: »
    That was a criminal case. We only needed to serve a summons on him because it was relatively minor offence. If he doesn't appear on the Court date then a warrant will be issued.

    What was your warrant for, Kak? Kicking too much ass?

    Something like that. It was aggravated battery. Got arrested and everything and then they decided to dismiss the charges before I even got arraigned. It was annoying, but it was better than the alternative.

    Kakodaimonos on
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    SeriouslySeriously Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    I think you should also use your time on the stand as an opportunity to speak out on various matters affecting this great nation of ours.

    Seriously on
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    FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    I'll use it to finally present my dissertation on 9/11 conspiracies

    Fandyien on
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    TheStigTheStig Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Plead the 5th!

    TheStig on
    bnet: TheStig#1787 Steam: TheStig
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    KakodaimonosKakodaimonos Code fondler Helping the 1% get richerRegistered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Yes, it's always a good idea to try to piss off the judge as much as possible. When they tell you to stop it, make sure you shout "This whole court is out of order!".

    Kakodaimonos on
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    DichotomyDichotomy Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    I wonder how many times a judge will hear "this whole court is out of order!" in the course of his career

    Dichotomy on
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    Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Fandyien wrote: »
    I'll use it to finally present my dissertation on 9/11 conspiracies

    Talk about space serpents or whatever

    Grey Ghost on
    Bluesky|Cohost
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    TheStigTheStig Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    quote various movies and television shows. Make sure you include "YOU WANT THE TRUTH!?" and anything from futurama and the simpsons.

    edit: also make sure you wink at the jury as much as possible.

    TheStig on
    bnet: TheStig#1787 Steam: TheStig
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    GeoMitchGeoMitch Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    i watched my first full episode of law and order today

    pretty good

    GeoMitch on
    Gamertag: GeoMtch Steam Google+
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    TheRealBadgerTheRealBadger Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Grey Ghost wrote: »
    Fandyien wrote: »
    I'll use it to finally present my dissertation on 9/11 conspiracies

    Talk about space serpents or whatever

    Based on my experience, the Judge will almost certainly be a space serpent so you might need to be delicate with your wording

    TheRealBadger on
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    DichotomyDichotomy Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    this verdict is written on a cocktail napkin!

    and it still says "guilty".

    and "guilty" is spelled wrong

    Dichotomy on
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    HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    TheRealBadger wrote: »
    Grey Ghost wrote: »
    Fandyien wrote: »
    I'll use it to finally present my dissertation on 9/11 conspiracies

    Talk about space serpents or whatever

    Based on my experience, the Judge will almost certainly be a space serpent so you might need to be delicate with your wording

    Tell the judge you know he's one of the good ones. Speaks well. Is respectable.

    Hunter on
    Sammy_11Feb2012-2.jpgSammy_bath2_Feb2012-1.jpg
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    AshcroftAshcroft LOL The PayloadRegistered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Do they still make you swear on the bible these days? Or can you request something else, like maybe a DVD box set?

    Ashcroft on
    ZD98Zka.png
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    TheStigTheStig Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Request the DVD box set of band of brothers and if someone says anything about them, call them an unpatriotic asshole that doesn't support our troops.

    TheStig on
    bnet: TheStig#1787 Steam: TheStig
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    BedlamBedlam Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Dichotomy wrote: »
    I wonder how many times a judge will hear "this whole court is out of order!" in the course of his career
    Probably very few.

    They tend to not be the people to fuck with.

    Bedlam on
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    DepressperadoDepressperado I just wanted to see you laughing in the pizza rainRegistered User regular
    edited November 2010
    I feel like if I was in court and it ever got to the point where I would be yelling and getting contempt anyway, I'd kind of have to yell that.

    I wouldn't just yell it though, or start nonsense so I could get there, but if the occasion arose, definitely.

    Depressperado on
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    Munkus BeaverMunkus Beaver You don't have to attend every argument you are invited to. Philosophy: Stoicism. Politics: Democratic SocialistRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    edited November 2010
    Bedlam wrote: »
    Dichotomy wrote: »
    I wonder how many times a judge will hear "this whole court is out of order!" in the course of his career
    Probably very few.

    They tend to not be the people to fuck with.

    Zero.

    Zero times.

    Munkus Beaver on
    Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but dies in the process.
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    Mr. ButtonsMr. Buttons Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Munkus Beaver wrote: »
    Bedlam wrote: »
    Dichotomy wrote: »
    I wonder how many times a judge will hear "this whole court is out of order!" in the course of his career
    Probably very few.

    They tend to not be the people to fuck with.

    Zero.

    Zero times.

    Fandy would make history.... he'd be famous

    Mr. Buttons on
    | Steam: SmashButton / / Steam Trade Offers // Random Contest Referral Link |
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    FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    It wouldn't be worth it

    I think GG has the idea about broadcasting the details of the space serpent conspiracy, too few people are aware!

    Fandyien on
    reposig.jpg
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    MrMonroeMrMonroe passed out on the floor nowRegistered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Ashcroft wrote: »
    Do they still make you swear on the bible these days? Or can you request something else, like maybe a DVD box set?

    ask to be sworn in on a VHS copy of Temple of Doom

    or a copy of the Bhagavad Gita transcribed on to a grain of rice

    maybe a copy of Origin of Species bound in Dodo leather

    MrMonroe on
    STEAM ID
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    FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    I'm gonna ask them to get the minutes of a medieval trial as recorded in a human flesh-bound tome

    Fandyien on
    reposig.jpg
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    Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    MrMonroe wrote: »
    Ashcroft wrote: »
    Do they still make you swear on the bible these days? Or can you request something else, like maybe a DVD box set?

    ask to be sworn in on a VHS copy of Temple of Doom

    or a copy of the Bhagavad Gita transcribed on to a grain of rice

    maybe a copy of Origin of Species bound in Dodo leather

    I have the first item, if you need it

    Grey Ghost on
    Bluesky|Cohost
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    SnowbeatSnowbeat i need something to kick this thing's ass over the lineRegistered User regular
    edited November 2010
    point at the bailiff's gun and go "i'll only swear... on that" in the most gravel-throated voice you can muster

    Snowbeat on
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    ArtreusArtreus I'm a wizard And that looks fucked upRegistered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Fandyien wrote: »
    Well, shucks, so long as I can truthfully be all "shit I don't remember just look at my year old statement" i'll be

    AIGHT.

    THIS IS WHAT EVERYBODY HAS BEEN SAYING FOR TEN PAGES.

    Artreus on
    http://atlanticus.tumblr.com/ PSN: Atlanticus 3DS: 1590-4692-3954 Steam: Artreus
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    TheySlashThemTheySlashThem Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    HE GONNA DIE

    HE GONNA DIE SO DEAD

    TheySlashThem on
    Eidolon PLaytest! Teenagers With Attitude! Audio Entropy! My Twitter!
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    FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Artreus wrote: »
    Fandyien wrote: »
    Well, shucks, so long as I can truthfully be all "shit I don't remember just look at my year old statement" i'll be

    AIGHT.

    THIS IS WHAT EVERYBODY HAS BEEN SAYING FOR TEN PAGES.

    are you a lawyer

    I didn't think so, smart aleck

    Fandyien on
    reposig.jpg
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    ArtreusArtreus I'm a wizard And that looks fucked upRegistered User regular
    edited November 2010
    That's what all of the law students have been saying! You are being ridiculous. You don't need to be a lawyer to know that all you have to do is tell the goddamn truth and you will be fine.

    Artreus on
    http://atlanticus.tumblr.com/ PSN: Atlanticus 3DS: 1590-4692-3954 Steam: Artreus
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    DichotomyDichotomy Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    if you don't use the Word Of The Day in your testimony you will be subjected to five lashes

    Dichotomy on
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    ArtreusArtreus I'm a wizard And that looks fucked upRegistered User regular
    edited November 2010
    oh shit I forgot about that one. Yeah you gotta do that

    Artreus on
    http://atlanticus.tumblr.com/ PSN: Atlanticus 3DS: 1590-4692-3954 Steam: Artreus
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    UbikUbik oh pete, that's later. maybe we'll be dead by then Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Also, if anyone insinuates you don't know the law you're supposed to yell "I am the law!"

    Ubik on
    l8e1peic77w3.jpg

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    TheStigTheStig Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    The truth is what they will be expecting.
    The key to victory is deception.

    TheStig on
    bnet: TheStig#1787 Steam: TheStig
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    Houk the NamebringerHouk the Namebringer Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Oh I dunno if anyone else mentioned it, but you actually get a $500 bonus if you can answer every question with a question

    Houk the Namebringer on
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    HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Try to see how many times you can say 'meow' like in Super Troopers. The judge loves that shit.

    Hunter on
    Sammy_11Feb2012-2.jpgSammy_bath2_Feb2012-1.jpg
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    FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Artreus wrote: »
    That's what all of the law students have been saying! You are being ridiculous. You don't need to be a lawyer to know that all you have to do is tell the goddamn truth and you will be fine.

    man the criminal justice system is straight TERRIFYING

    give a brother a break

    Fandyien on
    reposig.jpg
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    PiptheFairPiptheFair Frequently not in boats. Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    once you get on the stand, make sure to ask the judge very loudly what time is it and which direction mecca is in

    PiptheFair on
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Penny Arcade Forums› Social Entropy++