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Pssst... What's The Answer To Number 1?

Si SenorSi Senor Registered User
edited February 2007 in Debate and/or Discourse
reposted from the thai film thread.

sin.jpg

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maths.jpg

so, have you ever tried something like this?

me, I put question marks after the phrase 'there are no questions on this page' rendering them 'there are no questions on this page?'

yeah, I'm hardcore.

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Si Senor on
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Posts

  • GoslingGosling Looking Up Soccer In Mongolia Right Now, Probably Watertown, WIRegistered User regular
    edited January 2007
    The last picture sums up my understanding perfectly.

    Gosling on
    I have a new soccer blog The Minnow Tank. Reading it psychically kicks Sepp Blatter in the bean bag.
  • The Green Eyed MonsterThe Green Eyed Monster i blame hip hop Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    I once had an economics test with a question re: supply and demand and it used heroin as its sample product. I didn't even attempt to answer the question, I just wrote about how heroin addiction is not a trivial matter and not to be lightly bandied about as a gimmicky test question, and how it was the worst question I've ever encountered in all my year's of schooling, etc. I got a 0 and an explanation for what the right answer is, but I think the teacher was kind of afraid of me after that, so it actually worked out pretty well.

    The Green Eyed Monster on
    wisdom wrote:
    if knowledge is power and power corrupts, be smart, be evil
  • DrezDrez Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Senor: priceless

    Celery: priceless

    As for myself, it wasn't on a test and isn't as funny or anything, but I had a 19 page paper chopped up into 9 separate essays for my English 215 final in college. It was an animal rights English class. And the teacher was a strict vegan and we butted heads in class because, well, I think we should eat meat and the vegan philosophy is retarded.

    I hadn't done much research, so I basically slanted everything toward the fact that vegan philosophy is stupid and that humans we built as omnivores, so they should eat meat and plants.

    Surprisingly, I got an A- and a note "be a philosopher," which I did not expect.

    Drez on
  • ElendilElendil Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
  • Premier kakosPremier kakos Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited January 2007
    On one of my finals, the final question was "What is your name?". I wrote a long objection about how this wasn't in the review, nor was it even in the class syllabus, and that putting the question on the final was unfair and I would be talking to the Ombusdman about it.

    Premier kakos on
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  • Der Waffle MousDer Waffle Mous Blame this on the misfortune of your birth. New Yark, New Yark.Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Wasn't there a version of this that was pretty much an entire test that someone scanned?

    Der Waffle Mous on
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    Steam PSN: DerWaffleMous Origin: DerWaffleMous Bnet: DerWaffle#1682
  • Premier kakosPremier kakos Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited January 2007
    It's not real, but it should be posted regardless.

    Planes, Trains, and Plantains: The Story of Oedipus

    Premier kakos on
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  • WerewulfyWerewulfy Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Werewulfy on
  • BallmanBallman Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    I laughed really, really hard at "gleetres."

    This isn't the first time I've read it, even. Still hilarious. I think I'm going to go get a doctorate in Psychology/Psychiatry and petition to get the gleetre to be an official SI unit of happiness in the field.

    Ballman on
    JC of DI wrote:
    Mr. G wrote: »
    So, there's a video of Kurt Cobain in [Guitar Hero 5] out. I feel dirty watching this, he just looks wrong.

    Well Cobain's mo-cap session was completely useless, so you can't blame them.
  • fjafjanfjafjan Registered User
    edited January 2007
    elephant.jpg

    I always forget about the elephants...

    fjafjan on
    Yepp, THE Fjafjan (who's THE fjafjan?)
    - "Proving once again the deadliest animal of all ... is the Zoo Keeper" - Philip J Fry
  • agoajagoaj Now is the time of my revengeRegistered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Werewulfy wrote:
    El Plagiarismo!

    agoaj on
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  • ElJeffeElJeffe Moderator, ClubPA mod
    edited January 2007
    On some engineering exam - I think it was in a mechatronics class, which I hated - there was some question where we were supposed to explain some concept or term. I just wrote, "Look, a bunny!" and then drew a picture of a bunny eating a carrot.

    I don't think I did well on that test.

    ElJeffe on
    Maddie: "I named my feet. The left one is flip and the right one is flop. Oh, and also I named my flip-flops."

    I make tweet.
  • fjafjanfjafjan Registered User
    edited January 2007
    mtvcdm wrote:
    The last picture sums up my understanding perfectly.

    8 - (something which is almost almost but not QUITE! to the border of infinity 8) = infinitly small

    1 /something infinitly small = something infinitly big.

    fjafjan on
    Yepp, THE Fjafjan (who's THE fjafjan?)
    - "Proving once again the deadliest animal of all ... is the Zoo Keeper" - Philip J Fry
  • Si SenorSi Senor Registered User
    edited January 2007
    I know a man who claims to have answered his philosophy paper's question ('is this a question?') with 'only if this is an answer.' and got an A, the liar.

    Si Senor on
    sigging2.jpg
  • redxredx I(x)=2(x)+1 whole numbersRegistered User regular
    edited January 2007
    I used to fuck up arithmatic so I could avoid having to do trig subsitutions.

    like, I'd reverse a sign or something, and only get knocked for a small portion of the problem.

    redx on
    This machine kills threads.
  • The Green Eyed MonsterThe Green Eyed Monster i blame hip hop Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Oh yeah, one time at a really horrible community college, I took a Race Relations in the US class, and we watched this movie The Color of Fear. I skipped one of the classes where we were watching it because I actually find it really offensive when lecturers just show films, plus I skip class a lot.

    Anyway, on the test there was a multiple choice question "What was the theme of the film "The Color of Fear"? i]sic[/i" and then there were five options. I just circled one and then wrote above it "I answer this question under protest as it's obviously quite subjective." Anyway she didn't like that, and when I got my test back she put something like "If you don't like my class then you can just leave" in red pen alongside it (or something to that effect), to which I took a bit of offense because you don't tell your students to leave.

    So I got a little snotty (well, extremely snotty) and wrote her a letter saying in fact I was going to leave, I was never attending her class again if she couldn't respond in a civil fashion to a legitimate (if smarmy) complaint about a terrible question. I also took time to point out you don't put the title of films in quotation marks, among other things. It was A-grade smarminess, top-notch stuff. Anyway she wrote me back and called me a small, hateful little man and hoped I never went into teaching because I was like a bigot or a jerk or something. Hers was just flatly mean whereas mine was like self-aware and I admitted to being petty, said I accepted the F on the class I recognized I was earning, but said I didn't care because her "just leave" comment was extremely petty itself. It's all pretty funny in retrospect.

    Should also be noted when handing back the tests she said, "I went ahead and didn't mark anyone down for question #4 (the question I protested) because apparently you guys had a really hard time with that one -- everybody seemed to be missing it so I just took it off you scores."

    Fucking idiot. I have even more stories of what a nightmare she was, but they're all irrelevant now anyways.

    The Green Eyed Monster on
    wisdom wrote:
    if knowledge is power and power corrupts, be smart, be evil
  • nexuscrawlernexuscrawler Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    for an Enlgish ezam one of my freinds in college didn't read any of the books. for the answer to all his essay questions he plotted and draw a perfect line graph illustrating when people handed in thier tests. I think he failed that one.

    nexuscrawler on
  • FellhandFellhand Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    for an Enlgish ezam one of my freinds in college didn't read any of the books. for the answer to all his essay questions he plotted and draw a perfect line graph illustrating when people handed in thier tests. I think he failed that one.

    English class huh? You do well in that class?

    Fellhand on
  • DocDoc Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited January 2007
    One of my friends had to write a paper on the theme to a series of short stories. The stories mostly along the lines of young people rebelling against established culture.

    So his paper highlighted the theme of "old people are set in their ways, no matter how stupid those ways might be." He knew this would go against what she was expecting, since that wasn't exactly her style.

    The prof (an older woman), returned his paper, calling it very "ageist." He sent her a note saying that his paper and opinions aren't "ageist," but rather the content of the stories, which he had meticulously cited. She didn't care, and gave him a D on the paper. Stupid bitch.

    Doc on
  • nexuscrawlernexuscrawler Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Fellhand wrote:
    for an Enlgish ezam one of my freinds in college didn't read any of the books. for the answer to all his essay questions he plotted and draw a perfect line graph illustrating when people handed in thier tests. I think he failed that one.

    English class huh? You do well in that class?

    It's called no proofreading ones typing becasue you're no supposed to post at work

    nexuscrawler on
  • redxredx I(x)=2(x)+1 whole numbersRegistered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Doc wrote:
    Stupid old bitch.


    fixxed.

    mirite?

    redx on
    This machine kills threads.
  • DocDoc Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited January 2007
    redx wrote:
    Doc wrote:
    Stupid old bitch.


    fixxed.

    mirite?

    The irony of her being set in her opinion was not lost on him, though.

    Doc on
  • Torso BoyTorso Boy Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Name two mythological heroes who traveled to the underworld.
    [spoiler:6f635f1523]Bill & Ted[/spoiler:6f635f1523]

    Torso Boy on
    Rent wrote: »
    So that's what having no idea what you are talking about looks like
  • CantideCantide Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    A friend of mine had an English essay where he had to choose a book he'd read and analyze it. He started to write about Robert Jordan's "The Great Hunt", but realized within a few minutes that he didn't remember most of the story. Instead of rereading the book or looking up a summary, he just made up a new plot and wrote about that.

    Fucker got an A+.

    Cantide on
  • DocDoc Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited January 2007
    Cantide wrote:
    A friend of mine had an English essay where he had to choose a book he'd read and analyze it. He started to write about Robert Jordan's "The Great Hunt", but realized within a few minutes that he didn't remember most of the story. Instead of rereading the book or looking up a summary, he just made up a new plot and wrote about that.

    Fucker got an A+.

    http://rinkworks.com/bookaminute/b/jordan.hunt.shtml

    Doc on
  • DrezDrez Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Cantide wrote:
    A friend of mine had an English essay where he had to choose a book he'd read and analyze it. He started to write about Robert Jordan's "The Great Hunt", but realized within a few minutes that he didn't remember most of the story. Instead of rereading the book or looking up a summary, he just made up a new plot and wrote about that.

    Fucker got an A+.

    To be fair to your friend, there was no plot to forget.

    edit: beat'd

    Drez on
  • DocDoc Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited January 2007
    Drez wrote:
    Cantide wrote:
    A friend of mine had an English essay where he had to choose a book he'd read and analyze it. He started to write about Robert Jordan's "The Great Hunt", but realized within a few minutes that he didn't remember most of the story. Instead of rereading the book or looking up a summary, he just made up a new plot and wrote about that.

    Fucker got an A+.

    To be fair to your friend, there was no plot to forget.

    She'd probably read the same book and decided that his plot was better.

    Doc on
  • ColdredColdred Registered User
    edited January 2007
    There are a couple of fairly funny urban legends involving exams at my old Uni (ignoring the stupid fact that we had to wear a suit, white bowtie and gown to all our exams.)

    First was that in the old Uni exam regs apparently there is a clause that allows students to request a pint of mead to drink during their exams. It is however not worth trying, the last guy to do it was fined around six shillings for not having a sword at his side ready to defend Queen and Country.

    The second is that if you jump off Magdelen Tower and survive you are guaranteed a First (top ranking degree). And thirdly if you can shoot an arrow down Cornmarket street (a fairly major and busy street in the city) you also get a first. As far as I know, no-one's tried the last two. (Although a fair number of people have jumped off the tower before exams, so who knows.)

    Coldred on
    sig1-1.jpg
  • DrezDrez Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Doc wrote:
    Drez wrote:
    Cantide wrote:
    A friend of mine had an English essay where he had to choose a book he'd read and analyze it. He started to write about Robert Jordan's "The Great Hunt", but realized within a few minutes that he didn't remember most of the story. Instead of rereading the book or looking up a summary, he just made up a new plot and wrote about that.

    Fucker got an A+.

    To be fair to your friend, there was no plot to forget.

    She'd probably read the same book and decided that his plot was better.

    Quite possibly. ;-)

    Drez on
  • The Green Eyed MonsterThe Green Eyed Monster i blame hip hop Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    A friend of mine went to the Art Institute in San Francisco (that's the more prestigious, non-TV advertised one, right?) and there was a story about a guy who was doing a performance art piece for his final where he would jump off this big, high, second story location to this tree next to it, and well obviously he missed and fell and really hurt himself, with the whole class outside to watch it. Funny stuff.

    The Green Eyed Monster on
    wisdom wrote:
    if knowledge is power and power corrupts, be smart, be evil
  • CantideCantide Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Drez wrote:
    Doc wrote:
    Drez wrote:
    Cantide wrote:
    A friend of mine had an English essay where he had to choose a book he'd read and analyze it. He started to write about Robert Jordan's "The Great Hunt", but realized within a few minutes that he didn't remember most of the story. Instead of rereading the book or looking up a summary, he just made up a new plot and wrote about that.

    Fucker got an A+.

    To be fair to your friend, there was no plot to forget.

    She'd probably read the same book and decided that his plot was better.

    Quite possibly. ;-)

    He showed me the graded essay, and it was a beautiful thing; the plot summary read like the cover of a powermetal album. It was all "...then the dragons swooped in to join the fray, and Rand called upon the power of saidin and was encased in black armor while wielding a sword of fire.."

    Cantide on
  • flamebroiledchickenflamebroiledchicken Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    The only "cool" thing I've ever done is- one of my college admissions essays was retardedly vague, it was something like "Who are you? We acknowledge the unique characteristics of all our students so using your medium of choice, describe yourself to us" I opened with the sentence "It all started when my father impregnated my mother." I got in.

    Also, in trigonometry, I would always try to illustrate word problems in high detail. Like, if we were doing stuff with tan, cos, and sin and the question was something like "Billy is standing X feet away from a lighthouse, which is Y feet tall. What is the hypotenuse?" Instead of just drawing a triangle, I would draw a really detailed lighthouse, with the bricks all shaded and a little coast, and then I would have Billy looking up at it, and so on.

    flamebroiledchicken on
    y59kydgzuja4.png
  • Loren MichaelLoren Michael Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    I had to write a paper on this book for a Psych class a while back called Rag Doll: A Journey of Healing and Integration about a lady with multiple personalities.

    She visited our class and had a nervous breakdown when her psychic powers didn't work.

    I read the book, and its content was not dissimilar to the movie What the (BLEEP) do we Know?!?.

    I had my mother (an actual mental health counselor, not a shitty community college quasi-teacher) write a nasty letter instead of the paper I was supposed to turn in, 'cause I have an aversion to the degrees of bullshit the assignment required. I did not do well.

    Loren Michael on
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  • Eat it You Nasty Pig.Eat it You Nasty Pig. tell homeland security 'we are the bomb'Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Back in high school I inserted nine pages of my English "thesis" on Kesey into a longish paper from my econ class. This part of a bet with a classmate; he bet five dollars that our teacher would notice, and I said he wouldn't. I did a find/replace on certain key words, so that brief skimming wouldn't reveal my deception, and proceeded to get an A on the paper.

    Eat it You Nasty Pig. on
    NREqxl5.jpg
    do you lack faith, brother?
    or do you believe?
  • redxredx I(x)=2(x)+1 whole numbersRegistered User regular
    edited January 2007
    So... in a sophmore english class, we had to give an in class presentation about a book any of a half dozen books we read in class. One of them, and I can't for the life of me rember which, was also made into a movie. Now... the movie was pretty loosely based on the book, so dumb bitch gets up and talks for 5 minutes psychoanalyzing so minor plot point.

    I looked around the classroom, with a contences of aww on my face and trying not to laugh. This wasn't actually happening. Everyone else is nodding along and taking notes. Surely someone else is going to notice. Rapt attention and folks being having thier own interpertaions confirmed. You've got to be kidding me. Did I skip a chapter or something? She raps up and it is time for question and answers time. no. I can't say it. I can't ask it can I? I don't dare. The other kids fire off a few simple questions, and I notice a slight look of horror and then recognition and then resignation creeping across the teachers face.


    after class I approach the teacher.
    "So, none of that was actually in the book right?"

    "Yep." She looked like she was going to cry, no one else in the class of 30 had bothered to read the material.

    Came back to bite a lot of them on the midterm, cause she'd apprently gone though and found every diffrence betweem the book and the movie and made them into test questions.

    redx on
    This machine kills threads.
  • BallmanBallman Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    My high school history teacher always liked to tell a story that when he was in college, he inserted a cookie recipe into a term paper and didn't get caught.

    Not as interesting, but in high school english we were once given the task of writing a short paper about one of our relatives, and so I completely made up an uncle "who wasn't really an uncle; he was just a close friend that my parents introduced to me as "uncle" whateverhisnamewas." I got an A on the paper, and I should have, because it was well-written, but it didn't have an ounce of truth to it.

    Ballman on
    JC of DI wrote:
    Mr. G wrote: »
    So, there's a video of Kurt Cobain in [Guitar Hero 5] out. I feel dirty watching this, he just looks wrong.

    Well Cobain's mo-cap session was completely useless, so you can't blame them.
  • Loren MichaelLoren Michael Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Ballman wrote:
    My high school history teacher always liked to tell a story that when he was in college, he inserted a cookie recipe into a term paper and didn't get caught.

    Not as interesting, but in high school english we were once given the task of writing a short paper about one of our relatives, and so I completely made up an uncle "who wasn't really an uncle; he was just a close friend that my parents introduced to me as "uncle" whateverhisnamewas." I got an A on the paper, and I should have, because it was well-written, but it didn't have an ounce of truth to it.

    Just don't do Oprah, and stay the hell away from The Smoking Gun.

    Loren Michael on
    2ezikn6.jpg
  • redxredx I(x)=2(x)+1 whole numbersRegistered User regular
    edited January 2007
    meh, I'm not that intresting. Nearly everything I've ever had to write or say about myself in a class asignment was bullshit.

    redx on
    This machine kills threads.
  • FunkyWaltDoggFunkyWaltDogg Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    I went to a residential high school that was really great, except for the required economics class which was total garbage. We had to write a ten-page paper on some topic I don't recall. I got to about a page and a half before giving up. The solution: The Jargonator from Dilbert's Desktop Games. I ran my paper through the Jargonator over and over again until it was eight pages or so, added my conclusion to the end, and turned it in. I got a low B.

    FunkyWaltDogg on
    Burnage wrote:
    FWD is very good at this game.
  • DrezDrez Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Someone should submit the Fresh Prince Of Bel Air rap into their paper and submit.

    Drez on
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