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Pssst... What's The Answer To Number 1?

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Posts

  • The Green Eyed MonsterThe Green Eyed Monster i blame hip hop Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    I'm tired and I can't concentrate, so I might fuck this brief anecdote up, but anyway one time in high school on the weekly history quiz there was a question, "What was sharecropping?" And I answered it was the system that replaced slavery, which in turn was a de facto form of slavery itself as it manipulated the black farmers into going into debt to the white landowners, thus enslaving them to the land again.

    I got it wrong.

    The teacher was looking for the answer "sharing crops" or something along those lines (these are nearly his exact words, I'm not joking at all), which I guess everyone besides me answered. I made a meek protest, but it was only one point in like a sea of points, so really all I did was make the decision to never respect an institute of learning ever again.

    The Green Eyed Monster on
    wisdom wrote:
    if knowledge is power and power corrupts, be smart, be evil
  • mrcheesypantsmrcheesypants Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    My US history class in tenth grade was taught by a guy fresh out of college who, little known to us at the time, was using this as bullet point on his transcript to law school at the University of Michigan. He was also the biggest tool I've ever known. I have several stories about him and his many capers but one in particular follows the actual topic.

    For you see Mr uh... Groc as I will call him wasn't the world's best teacher. He was often interrupted during lecture and forgot his lesson plan often. One of these occasions he joined a few of my fellow classmates at a game of Halo. Due to his laziness he did not make a final exam of his own but instead borrowed one from another history teacher famous for lecturing stuff the textbook does not cover. Mr Groc did not know about this and just gave us a study guide to us one week in advance. Of the material on it we only covered 25% of it in class.

    It was the hardest exam I have taken in my short scholarly life. It was made out of over 200 names we had to memorize in a week. The highest grade in the class was a B. Everyone else failed it. Fortunately he gave us a huge curve. I forgot how it was calculated but my base grade was a 47 yet with the curve was an 83.

    mrcheesypants on
    Diamond Code: 2706 8089 2710
    Oh god. When I was younger, me and my friends wanted to burn the Harry Potter books.

    Then I moved to Georgia.
  • Torso BoyTorso Boy Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    In fifth grade, we had to write our own "fractured fairy tale."

    I was really into Duke Nukem, so my original idea was the three little pigs with Duke as the wolf. But one thing led to another, and it quickly became a violently epic saga. It took place in Oz, and featured Spider-Man, Turok and Darth Vader as supporting characters.

    It was so excessively violent that sections had to be cut before my teacher would accept it. I was like eleven years old.

    That said, I got an A and my teacher maintained that I had a future as a writer.

    (I'm not sure yet if I do)

    Torso Boy on
    Rent wrote: »
    So that's what having no idea what you are talking about looks like
  • GrimmGrimm Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    My 10th grade world cultures class was taught by this guy who wasn't all that bright. He was also pretty damn lazy with his lessons. Half of each week of classes were usually spent with a photo copied map and a text book. We would have to look up the area in our books and then label the map he gave us. Show borders of countries, rivers, oceans, mountains, color everything in, etc. On Friday, he would give us another blank map and has us relabel everything from memory. After a few of these test, we got an idea. The guidance counselors office was right next door, and they had a copier that could reduce images. So every friday, the entire class would be lined up out the door making size 30% copies of their maps right before class. All you had to do was leave something on your desk to hide the little map behind so he couldn't see it from his desk. I would just toss it inside my hat as it sat on my desk, he didn't even notice as he walked right by and looked over my shoulder at my work. He actually walked into the guidance counselors office once to drop something to find 3/4 of the class still waiting in line at the copier with maps in hand. By the time everyone was done, it was 10 minutes into class.


    This was the same teacher who decided that my report worth like a third of my entire grade for the year was just something i printed off microsofts encarta encyclopedia. This idea was based on the picture i copy and pasted into my paper from the encyclopedia. I figured it would be best if i left the little copyright tag on the bottom of the picture just to cover my ass in case he bitched about not giving credit for a source. After i couldnt change his mind, he tells me we have three tests left before the end of the year and if i do well on them all i'll pass with no problem. Well, i used my little copier trick and got a 100% on all three tests. He still failed me.

    Grimm on
  • ProtoProto Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Hakkekage wrote:
    Also, to contribute to the maths, an image I found while browsing SE:

    *snip*

    My teacher in high school physics wrote all his problems like that. So awesome.

    He had one of those space pens that he loved dearly, so some kids stole the pen as a joke one day. His revenge? A pop quiz in which all of the problems involved him trying to recover the pen from various evil-doers (ninjas, etc.)

    Proto on
    and her knees up on the glove compartment
    took out her barrettes and her hair spilled out like rootbeer
  • CrimsonKingCrimsonKing Registered User
    edited January 2007
    If I was a teacher Friday would be renamed Freeday and it would be extra-credit show and tell, but you'd have to whatever you brought in to the course material.

    CrimsonKing on
    This sig was too tall - Elki.
  • flamebroiledchickenflamebroiledchicken Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    This was my trig class on the day that Star Wars Episode III came out:

    n37801861_30002430_5063.jpg

    You can see a bit of the teacher's head behind the kid on the left, trying to teach.

    flamebroiledchicken on
    y59kydgzuja4.png
  • agoajagoaj Now is the time of my revengeRegistered User regular
    edited January 2007
    At the end of my friends Social Studies final, my friend wrote
    "In conclusion, gluttony is the best sin. It should be a religion of it's own."

    agoaj on
    qnu0EMk.png
  • MegaMan001MegaMan001 CRNA Rochester, MNRegistered User regular
    edited January 2007
    This is the best thread I've ever read. I could not stop laughing at the 'cock in answers' post.

    Hmm, what have I done.

    Well, at the highschool level I never went into a AA Physics Exam without all the formulas in my graphing calculator (hidden in the Matrix options).

    At the college level I have taken several Spanish 101, 102, 201 and 202 exams and mid terms for other people. They really need to stop holding those exams in lecture halls with over 500 students.

    The only *funny* thing I've ever done on an exam was in highscool during Spanish IV (Senior Spanish) we had this ridiculolous 4 month section on Spanish history...taught...in spanish. So not only did we not know half the vocabulary, but were trying to learn about Ferninand and Isabella and all that shit and the history of Spain in that language. Around the same time we had a very difficult Calculus test - the answers I didn't know were instead paragraphs of spanish history - written in spanish.

    Man, I wish I had some more balls to do shit like the rest of you guys.

    MegaMan001 on
    I am in the business of saving lives.
  • Hocky27Hocky27 Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    I would like the thank you guys for all your entertaining stories of pure awesome. However, I dont have any really interesting ones other then doing assignments the night before the due date and still managing to top the class.

    Hocky27 on
    Peter Ebel wrote: »
    Bonnar vs. Silva is like a pig vs an industrial meat processing plant.
    dlinfiniti wrote: »
    Arlovski might even get knocked out by stitch rubbing Vaseline on his face too vigorously
  • Big DookieBig Dookie Smells great! Houston, TXRegistered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Hocky27 wrote:
    I would like the thank you guys for all your entertaining stories of pure awesome. However, I dont have any really interesting ones other then doing assignments the night before the due date and still managing to top the class.
    Oh man, I have had MANY of those nights. In my high school sophomore biology class, we had to create a bug collection over the course of twelve weeks. They had to be mounted, labeled, all that jazz. Of course, being the huge procrastinator that I am, I put it off until the weekend before it was due. I went over to my best friend's house who had completed his and asked if he had any left over that he didn't use. He grabs a bag off the desk, and inside is a collection of bug parts, but no complete bugs. Mostly wings.

    Being the crafty devil I am, though, I whipped up a plan. There was a pretty good variety of wings and stuff, but not many torsos - so I decided to bug bomb the wasps nest outside of our shed the next afternoon and I collected them a while later when they were all fallen on the ground. I spent most of the rest of the evening performing delicate postmortem bug surgery, splitting and shaping the wasp torsos and super gluing wings and other parts onto them to make a bad facsimile of other bugs.

    I think the teacher knew something was up, but she gave me a good grade anyway. I think she appreciated all the work I put into getting out of the project (which, in the end, most likely took me longer than it would have to just do the stupid thing right in the first place). I did that kind of stuff a lot in high school, and still do to be honest.

    Big Dookie on
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  • RazzleDazzRazzleDazz Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    For a high school research paper I chose the folk lore of vampirism in Europe and North America. At the end of the project each student had to stand at the front of the class and read their paper to their peers. I changed a paragraph of my paper for my speech, removing my cited research and replacing it with full paragraphs from the 2nd Edition Advanced Dungeons and Dragons Monstrous Manual. No one in the class batted an eyelid when I started speaking about hit dice and that vampires historically have been found impervious to anything with less than a +3 enchantment. Two of my friends almost passed out trying to contain their laughter.

    A.

    RazzleDazz on
  • YarYar Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    For a physics exam towards the end of the semester one time, I had already reviewed the published syllabus and grading system, and mathematically determined that I was guaranteed an A based on my grades so far, even if I got a zero on this exam (no final). I had worked really hard on a lot of weekly assignments and taken full advantage of lots of silly little extra credit stuff that others ignored since it was a first-year lecture.

    So I just did the math for him that proved my inevitable A, being careful to show my work, and handed it in without answering any test questions. The guy already really liked me, so it went over fairly well.

    The extra bonus was that the whole lecture-sized class thought I actually finished the entire test in like 2 minutes, and a friend told me that after I left someone sarcastically went, "ooooooooooh...."

    Another extra bonus was that the "two-minute test" convinced a sorority girl in the class that I was some mutant uber-genius and she insisted I come by for some "tutoring," because the super-genius thing turned her on. I learned a lot from that tutoring. Then she started calling some of my other professors and telling them what a genius I was, which got really weird for everyone involved. Although it did turn an F into a D with one of the ones she called.

    Yar on
  • GrimmGrimm Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Yar wrote:
    For a physics exam towards the end of the semester one time, I had already reviewed the published syllabus and grading system, and mathematically determined that I was guaranteed an A based on my grades so far, even if I got a zero on this exam (no final). I had worked really hard on a lot of weekly assignments and taken full advantage of lots of silly little extra credit stuff that others ignored since it was a first-year lecture.

    So I just did the math for him that proved my inevitable A, being careful to show my work, and handed it in without answering any test questions. The guy already really liked me, so it went over fairly well.

    The extra bonus was that the whole lecture-sized class thought I actually finished the entire test in like 2 minutes, and a friend told me that after I left someone sarcastically went, "ooooooooooh...."

    Another extra bonus was that the "two-minute test" convinced a sorority girl in the class that I was some mutant uber-genius and she insisted I come by for some "tutoring," because the super-genius thing turned her on. I learned a lot from that tutoring. Then she started calling some of my other professors and telling them what a genius I was, which got really weird for everyone involved. Although it did turn an F into a D with one of the ones she called.

    You sir, are my hero.

    Grimm on
  • flamebroiledchickenflamebroiledchicken Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Grimm wrote:
    Yar wrote:
    For a physics exam towards the end of the semester one time, I had already reviewed the published syllabus and grading system, and mathematically determined that I was guaranteed an A based on my grades so far, even if I got a zero on this exam (no final). I had worked really hard on a lot of weekly assignments and taken full advantage of lots of silly little extra credit stuff that others ignored since it was a first-year lecture.

    So I just did the math for him that proved my inevitable A, being careful to show my work, and handed it in without answering any test questions. The guy already really liked me, so it went over fairly well.

    The extra bonus was that the whole lecture-sized class thought I actually finished the entire test in like 2 minutes, and a friend told me that after I left someone sarcastically went, "ooooooooooh...."

    Another extra bonus was that the "two-minute test" convinced a sorority girl in the class that I was some mutant uber-genius and she insisted I come by for some "tutoring," because the super-genius thing turned her on. I learned a lot from that tutoring. Then she started calling some of my other professors and telling them what a genius I was, which got really weird for everyone involved. Although it did turn an F into a D with one of the ones she called.

    You sir, are my hero.

    flamebroiledchicken on
    y59kydgzuja4.png
  • GimGim a quietly erotic life Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    I went to a private Christian school for a couple of years. A lot of the teachers left after the first year, so they kind of struggled to fill spots. So in ninth grade we had a new math and science teacher, probably in her mid 20s. Anyways, on one test I didn't know the answer to the last question, so I wrote out this whole little paragraph on how God would give me credit regardless. I got credit for it.

    In tenth grade, I was back in public school. On a science test, I ended an essay with "Have mercy!" I don't remember how that turned out. In the same class, one of our assignments was to bring in a seed and grow a small plant. This was ridiculous because we only had access to the plant three times a week. And the grade was dependent upon the plant being healthy. Of course, my plant failed to live. So when the day came to grade them, I snapped a healthy plant out of another kid's pot from another class, put it in mine, and she never suspected a thing. Got an A.

    Oh, back to the private school. In eighth grade we had a religious studies class. For one quiz we had to learn Psalm 23 (As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death...). I did not memorize it. I had to whisper to the kid next to me to feed me the lines. I was cheating on a Bible test. We got caught and failed it.

    Gim on
  • itylusitylus Registered User
    edited January 2007
    RazzleDazz wrote:
    For a high school research paper I chose the folk lore of vampirism in Europe and North America. At the end of the project each student had to stand at the front of the class and read their paper to their peers. I changed a paragraph of my paper for my speech, removing my cited research and replacing it with full paragraphs from the 2nd Edition Advanced Dungeons and Dragons Monstrous Manual. No one in the class batted an eyelid when I started speaking about hit dice and that vampires historically have been found impervious to anything with less than a +3 enchantment. Two of my friends almost passed out trying to contain their laughter.

    A.

    Ahahaha, aah, this is a great story. :)

    The closest I can come to any of these stories is about an essay someone I know marked. Students were supposed to write about one of the major texts that they'd studied and relate it to something from their own experience. One student wrote his entire essay as an extended metaphor about going to a brothel as a parallel with purchasing wine at a wine shop, with no reference whatever to the texts from the course. Keep in mind this was an essay that they'd had weeks to work on, not something written in a moment of desperation under exam conditions.

    Not surprisingly, he failed.

    itylus on
  • edited January 2007
    Well compared to these, my stories are really tame.

    A guy in my Chemistry 30 final answered the few questions that he knew and then paper-clipped a 5 dollar bill to the front of his test. The prof told him that he didn't accept bribes and if he did it would have to be a lot bigger than that.

    We had a Christian Ethics teacher who gave out stupid little short answer quizzes every other day. He wouldn't even take them in to mark, he would just scan over them for a minute then write a checkmark in his book for you.

    Of course, this lead to people stealing other kids work and holding their thumb over the name as the teacher scanned it, and a friend of mine answered a question as "Because pigs fly."

    This teacher also kicked a kid out into the hall once. The teacher turned around to shut the door and the kid took a step forward and tried to protest. The teacher didn't look back and slammed the door pretty hard, smacking the kid right in the face. The teacher didn't even notice it at all though.

    Good times.

    Menace on
    Don't try to talk to me like you're somebody.

    You aren't shit to me.

    Got that?
  • Grid SystemGrid System Registered User
    edited January 2007
    I went to a Jewish highschool. It wasn't particularly religious or anything, but still, Jewish.

    In Grade 11 we were given an assignment to write about things we liked. We could pick any one interest, hobby, or whatever, and write an essay which we would then have to read to the class.

    I wrote about tits. Eight pages about breasts, and a short digression about asses in the middle. It was marvellous.

    My grade? A.

    Grid System on
  • GimGim a quietly erotic life Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    I went to a Jewish highschool. It wasn't particularly religious or anything, but still, Jewish.

    In Grade 11 we were given an assignment to write about things we liked. We could pick any one interest, hobby, or whatever, and write an essay which we would then have to read to the class.

    I wrote about tits. Eight pages about breasts, and a short digression about asses in the middle. It was marvellous.

    My grade? A.
    What was the class reaction?

    Gim on
  • PodlyPodly you unzipped me! it's all coming back! i don't like it!Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    In fifth grade, my friend was really confused on why he had to do a report on Beef Wellington for Black History Month.

    [spoiler:0fb5b45e66]The report was on Duke Ellington[/spoiler:0fb5b45e66]

    Podly on
    follow my music twitter soundcloud tumblr
    9pr1GIh.jpg?1
  • The CheeseThe Cheese Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    I had a physics exam today. I didn't know the answer for the final question so I drew a very detailed diagram of the Schroedinger's Cat hypothetical.

    The Cheese on
  • Grid SystemGrid System Registered User
    edited January 2007
    Gim wrote:
    BOOBS
    What was the class reaction?
    Most of the girls hated it. The guys all knew about it from the get-go. It was, in many ways, a collaborative project. We all compared notes and stories and I tried to put all the best descriptive bits in.

    Grid System on
  • linkswordlinksword Registered User
    edited January 2007
    I've done pretty much every project since 6th grade the night before, never got anything lower than a B.

    I also haven't done more than about 10% of my homework at home since then, still lowest grade has been a C last semester.

    My procrastination problem has gotten really bad at times, in freshman year, in world geography, we had to do group projects on world religions. My friend and I got Catholicism, which worked out really well since we both were Catholic. Both of us basically just passed this off as an easy A, and didn't worry about it. The due date came, and we walked into first period and saw everyone else with their presentations ready. We managed to get half of an unused poster board from someone, and some broken markers, and threw it together in the 10 minutes before we were to present. I'm surprised we actually pulled it off with a 93 (lowest possible A).

    This story is really lame, but also in freshman year, physical science, we were going over the different levels of the atmosphere. When the teacher asked which level contained the ozone, my friend blurted out "OZONOSPHERE" and I think the teacher just moved on without giving us the actual name. When the same question was asked on the quiz, there were about 6 of us that put that.

    In sophomore Biology we had to do a worksheet page one day, and one of the questions was something along the lines of "Find the number of possible phenotypes for each of the following: ." My friend just wrote "OK" and handed it in. The teacher had a sense of humor, though it involved student suffering, so that question was pretty much counted wrong.

    Also, in sophomore Algebra II, the teacher graded the first homework assignment, and then for the rest of the year she just went over it in class. She never officially said that this was what she was planning though, so every day before class everyone would be working as fast as they could through the school news network, just in case.

    I've also gotten a report back with the words "OBVIOUSLY PLAGIARIZED" written in big red ink on the front. I sort of took it as a compliment, as this was eighth grade and I had actually written it. I just pulled my sources and showed the teacher, and got my full credit.

    linksword on
  • The SaviorThe Savior Registered User
    edited January 2007
    Two senior year moments come to mind:

    1) My buddy and I are assigned a presentation on Sean O'Casey (An Irish playwright who wrote plays about the IRA). So we're giving our presentation like we're holding anIRA meeting, handing out secret documents, talking in terrible Irish accents, the whole 9 yards. Then suddenly, somebody shouts "Police! Everybody down!" and the meeting/presentation is seemly raided by police officers looking for IRA meetings. Why? Because we put on a CD of a police raid with a couple minutes of silence before our presentation started.

    2) This same buddy and I are assigned a presentation supporting the creation of a national ID card for the US, and 2 other guys are supposed to refute our arguments. We go in there (metaphorical) guns blazing, calling our opponents terrorists, showing a cheesy movie that we made of of a guy in a turban building a bomb, then driving to the airport and blowing up a plane (we used footage from Moonraker for the plane exploding), and for our finale, we whipped out grainy black and white photos of our opponents hanging out with Osama bin Laden, and stormed out of the room in disgust.

    The Savior on
  • HakkekageHakkekage Space Whore Academy summa cum laudeRegistered User regular
    edited January 2007
    I remember a couple years ago my friend's cousin had a bit of a shock thanks to biology. She'd just learned about blood types, so she went home and found out her parents' blood types. Using what she learned in bio, she made up a Punnett square and came to the realization that no matter how you did it, the blood types of her parents would never yield her blood type.

    Biology teacher had to endure lots of ire from the parents after that :|

    Hakkekage on
    3DS: 2165 - 6538 - 3417
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  • linkswordlinksword Registered User
    edited January 2007
    Hakkekage wrote:
    I remember a couple years ago my friend's cousin had a bit of a shock thanks to biology. She'd just learned about blood types, so she went home and found out her parents' blood types. Using what she learned in bio, she made up a Punnett square and came to the realization that no matter how you did it, the blood types of her parents would never yield her blood type.

    Biology teacher had to endure lots of ire from the parents after that :|

    Our teacher told us a story similar to that. He had handed out a worksheet that surveyed the few human traits that are either dominant or recessive, and we were going over it in class when someone asked if anyone had ever found out they were adopted from this. Turns out they were, and that's why we only went over it in class.

    linksword on
  • SmasherSmasher Starting to get dizzy Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Maybe if I'd been adopted I might have a different view, but I'd think any parents with an adopted child old enough to be learning about punnet squares in class should have already told their kids about it. They're old enough to deal with it, and personally I'd be pissed if my parents waited that long to tell me.

    Smasher on
  • linkswordlinksword Registered User
    edited January 2007
    Smasher wrote:
    Maybe if I'd been adopted I might have a different view, but I'd think any parents with an adopted child old enough to be learning about punnet squares in class should have already told their kids about it. They're old enough to deal with it, and personally I'd be pissed if my parents waited that long to tell me.

    I don't know, I can imagine that being a lot of stress on a young kid. Think about entirely new perspective of the world of a ten year old after finding out. I'd rather be told sooner than later though.

    linksword on
  • GimGim a quietly erotic life Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    The Savior wrote:
    Two senior year moments come to mind:

    1) My buddy and I are assigned a presentation on Sean O'Casey (An Irish playwright who wrote plays about the IRA). So we're giving our presentation like we're holding anIRA meeting, handing out secret documents, talking in terrible Irish accents, the whole 9 yards. Then suddenly, somebody shouts "Police! Everybody down!" and the meeting/presentation is seemly raided by police officers looking for IRA meetings. Why? Because we put on a CD of a police raid with a couple minutes of silence before our presentation started.

    2) This same buddy and I are assigned a presentation supporting the creation of a national ID card for the US, and 2 other guys are supposed to refute our arguments. We go in there (metaphorical) guns blazing, calling our opponents terrorists, showing a cheesy movie that we made of of a guy in a turban building a bomb, then driving to the airport and blowing up a plane (we used footage from Moonraker for the plane exploding), and for our finale, we whipped out grainy black and white photos of our opponents hanging out with Osama bin Laden, and stormed out of the room in disgust.
    I need to have a threesome with you two <3

    Gim on
  • VariableVariable Mouth Congress Stroke Me Lady FameRegistered User regular
    edited January 2007
    I never hand shit in with more than the previous night of work involved, but as my grades aren't "great", it's not really something to be proud of.

    Once though, sophomore year, I had to do a project for Biology. We had probably a month to do it, and it was due on Monday and then we each had to present later that week on a given day.

    Monday passes, I don't do it figuring I'll just do it the day of my presentation. Teacher's a pushover, he'll at worst take a ffew points off.

    Come the night before I say, NO, I don't really feel like it, and don't do the project.

    The next day my name is called, I walk to the back near the projects and say "hey, I can't find my project. It was a "biology jeopardy" thing... did you move it Mr. ______?"

    "no, are you sure you brought it in?"
    "of course! I put it right back here on Monday" etc. etc.

    I did a presentation that consisted of me explaining this "biology jeopardy" which is obviously just jeopardy with biology questions, whoop dee doo.

    I got an A+, 99/100. I think he felt bad that my project was stolen.

    edit - last minute work story.

    Theology, Junion year (I went to a Catholic Private High School) we are assigned to do any sort of project with any sized group as long as it dealt with a Bible story. This is another easy teacher... more importantly, two weeks earlier, he was talking about these "great new puppets" he found at some friends house or something. They were really old style puppets, but lucky for me I remembered (memory is very important in being a suck up or a person who wants to con/sell people. It helps more than anything else) and asked if I could use them for my planned project, a puppet show! me and three of my friends from the class decide to do david and goliath in puppet form.

    the day before the project, me having done none of the work but saying "don't worry I'll take care of it", I'm approached by two other kids from the class, seperately, and they ask if they can be in my group. Sure, I say. Why not...

    that night I'm trying to write the "play" and I can't think of the full story, so I go to this site the teacher gave us that has the entire bible online (awesome for the class, really). I looked up the story, copied it into word, and wrote it out as a play. I had to make sure there were 6 parts filled. I made a narrator, a david, and a goliath, and then had three puppets (one stood for the crowd)

    The next day we did it with puppet,s the first time any of the rest of my group saw the text, but it was easy enough. The teacher loved it. I'd have thought he was being sarcastic, but for ten minutes of work the night before I earned 6 people (myself included) the highest marks (A) in the class.

    Variable on
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  • His CorkinessHis Corkiness Registered User
    edited January 2007
    For my senior English class, we were required to do an oral presentation to the class regarding one of the texts we had read. We were to do it in groups (Mine was of 3 people). We were given about two weeks to prepare for it, including several classes.

    Naturally, my group and I sat on our asses and did no preparation, during those classes or at home.

    The day of the presentations arrived, us having virtually nothing prepared. To top it off, the teacher of a concurrent English class had become pretty sick, so they had moved the entirety of that class in with ours, to watch our presentations. We were about to present something that we had not prepared at all, and to around 45 people to boot.

    Cue about half an hour of my groupmembers and I scribbling down vague ideas and quotes as the other groups presented their (prepared) work. We were required to come up with a couple of essay topics, so I pulled some vague and deep-sounding crap out of my ass. One of my groupmembers suggested performing a role-play -- I and the other member would act out a scene, and then he would "click his fingers", we would freeze, and he'd psychoanalyze (read: bullshit about) us. Through threats of physical harm I managed to convince him otherwise.

    It comes our turn to talk to the class(es), and so the show began. We collectively talked for about ten minutes, almost completely off the top of our heads. Obscure references were made to the text, but generally we made obvious and yet relevant notes about the story and characters. We wrote the essay questions I had come up with on the board, finished up, and sat back down.

    Surprisingly, our teacher really got into it. He spent a good ten minutes discussing the things we'd brought up, said he loved the essay questions, and suggested that I write on them for practise. The whole thing was a resounding success.



    Oh, and I never read the text.

    His Corkiness on
  • krapst78krapst78 Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    My best friend in High School was detained by the Secret Service during an Model UN conference for a fake bomb scare. Apparently it's not a good idea to walk around with a briefcase handcuffed to your arm wearing a ski mask during the Georgetown conference, especially when Chelsea Clinton is also a participant. Our MUN adviser had to clear things up with the Secret Service and my friend got kicked out of the conference after being detained for several hours. Needless to say, our adviser was not a happy camper, and when we got back home my friend ended up losing his "Director" status for the WCIMUN conference.

    The funny thing was he pulled the same tactic off a month earlier at a High School conference and won a gavel.

    My younger brother also took a $100 payoff to take the SAT for his friend and ended up scoring higher for his friend than himself. Needless to say his friend and his friend's parents were very happy with the results.

    krapst78 on
    Hello! My name is Inigo Montoya! You killed my father prepare to die!
  • MrMisterMrMister A pup must first get in the water to be successful as a seal!Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Cheating D:

    MrMister on
  • VariableVariable Mouth Congress Stroke Me Lady FameRegistered User regular
    edited January 2007
    I took a math final for a friend of mine in high school. we had the really easy teacher I previously mentioned proctoring. I finished my grade and he asked me two or three questions to hepl him and I just grabbed his test and did it. It was incredibly easy.

    Fuck yeah cheating man. I do it when I can.

    I'd never do it if I was really competing for high grades or anything, but if cheating gets me a B instead of a C or D, it was a good day.

    I'm not like Captain Cheat, only because I actually do like to learn, but sometimes I need to or else I'll fail. In those situations, usually I'll sit in the back and sneak out a study guide... nothing very intense just names and terms I might forgot. I do go so far as actually learning what they relate to, though.

    Variable on
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  • CantideCantide Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Ah, the temptation of cheating...

    Back in my last year of college, during my penultimate term, I was taking a VHDL course. There were no homework assignments, quizzes, or tests, just 5 labs and a project with two presentations, all of which was done with a lab partner. The professor was also known for being a very easy grader; unless you were really terrible, you'd get at least a B.

    So midway through the term, we've finished two labs and the first presentation and are looking good grade-wise. Then my partner up and vanishes. I still don't what the deal was; he never showed up to class again, and never responded to my IMs/emails. I wasted over a week of lab time waiting for him to appear, and then had to start working on the labs alone. Now, these labs were intended to be a lot of work for two people on time, and were a nightmare for one person who was already behind and not very good with VHDL in the first place. So the professor decides to give me a break and tells me to forget about the project and focus on just completing the labs.

    A few weeks later, I still haven't finished a single lab. I commiserate with the TA, who was a regular student in one of my classes, and he tells me that I should abandon the labs and just do the project. Since I'm completely stumped on all 3 labs, and have only a couple weeks left in the term, this seems like a good idea.

    Problem is, the final project was made for people who'd already completed all the labs and learned from them. I spent several full days working on the project without accomplishing a damn thing. But I realized I had a way out. See, many of the other groups had troubles completing the project, had hit errors they couldn't fix. So all I had to do was explain during the presentation that I'd encountered some unsolvable problem and been unable to finish, and then talk about what my project would have been like. The professor would probably dock quite a few points once he received my work and saw just how little progress I'd made, but I only needed something like a 20 to get a passing grade overall.

    The big day comes around. I'm sitting in the classroom watching other people give their presentations and it suddenly hits me that everyone else actually knows their shit. Sure, they had hit snags along the way, but they'd clearly learned a lot from the class. To go up there and pretend to be one of them, to claim that I was just like them and deserved the same grade they did... that would've been nothing less than cheating. So right in the middle of someone's presentation I just stood up and walked out of the room.



    Imagine my amazement several days later when I discovered that I've gotten a B for the class. I checked online and soon figured out what had happened: my TA, after telling me to forget the labs, had given the ones I hadn't completed a default grade of 80. The professor, meanwhile, thinking that I was doing just labs, ignored my lack of a project and graded me solely on the lab work, including the 3 fake 80s. And that was that. The grades had already been made official, so there was no chance of the professor or TA reviewing things and catching the mistake. All I had to do was stay quiet and accept my B.

    Now you have to realize, an F in that class could've really hurt me. Depending on the grades for my other courses that term, I might've lost my scholarship and been forced to pay several thousand extra for the last term. Since I wouldn't have time to retake the class, it would be a black mark on my academic record, something every potential employer would notice. If the right classes weren't offered next term, I might've been unable to even graduate on time, forced to stay an extra term or two until a suitable class was available. And it was a victimless crime, to boot. The professor didn't want to fail me, I didn't want to fail, and I had no intention of using VHDL ever again. There were a million reasons not to speak up, and only one for it: because it was the right thing to do.

    I took the F.

    Cantide on
  • GimGim a quietly erotic life Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    You honest fool.

    Gim on
  • BlakoutBlakout Lordran's SpookylandRegistered User regular
    edited January 2007
    On the final exam in my Art History class, we had to compare and contrast two nearly identical pictures and cite at least 20 specific examples of what style they were in and why. I wrote "Look at the silly penguin!" and drew a penguin. Coincidentally, I failed.

    In my Speech class, I did my persuasive speach on how much I hated rap music and why nobody should listen to it ever. I quoted Snoop Dogg no less than three times, and one of my visual aids was a badly Photoshopped picture of 50 Cent with Adolf Hitler. I got an A because the teacher was laughing hysterically the whole time.

    Blakout on
  • Rufus_ShinraRufus_Shinra Registered User
    edited January 2007
    In high school we were supposed to do a project involving choosing a topic, polling people about that topic, statistically interpreting the data and presenting the results. Each presentation was supposed to be about 5 minutes.

    One of my friends got called on to give his presentation. However, he had not prepared a poster, or project, or well... anything.

    Rather than admit defeat, he walked to the back of the room, grabbed a completely random poster he found lying around, walked to the front of the class... and gave a full presentation on the project as if it were his own.

    Sadly, the real owner of the poster presented the same project in a different class period and he was found out later in the day. But for that brief moment in time, he was a God.

    Rufus_Shinra on
  • xcrunner17xcrunner17 Registered User
    edited January 2007
    In my eleventh grade english class we were reading the grapes of wrath, or rather the rest of the class except me was reading that wonderful book. I failed every goddamn quiz and test on it. We had a final 10 page writing assignment due for it. I procrastinated to the last minute and read the cliff and spark notes for the book and then wrote a 6 page comparison between the regular chapters and intercalary chapters. I got a 96 on it. Was the best paper in the class. My teacher actually submitted it to a university database because he thought i had bought it from a grad student. My best friend who read the book meticulously got a 80 on his paper. I laughed at him and got punched. About a year ago in my freshmen lit class i read an article in the onion about a girl who was inspired to read the book mice and men after reading the spark notes or some shit like that. Made me immediately think of that. I eventually did read grapes of wrath after being really interested in the spark notes i had downloaded on the last night. Hmm now that i think about it i really need to work on my procrastination a lot better lolz.

    xcrunner17 on
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