Sooooo... back to internet dating. How's that going for everyone? I wish there was a new OkTrends article.
Lucid, that is horrible for her to have happened and I'm sure awkward as hell for you. I never know how to respond to that 'cause some people are okay with sympathy and it pisses other people off. It's a minefield when you don't know someone well.
I consider it to be somewhat too much info for a first meeting even though I am very sympathetic to tragedy. I don't know, I find that if a conversation was getting into that subject it may be less awkward to talk about. For any really personal matter really.
It's like putting a bottle of wine in you because it happens to be the same volume and alcohol content. The comparison is alarmist and unhelpful.
Alcohol content is an awfully helpful basis for comparison.
Yes, but people aren't saying "The drink contains 6-12% ABV", they're saying "THIS SHIT IS BEING MARKETED TO YOUR CHILDREN AND ONE CAN HAS AS MUCH ALCOHOL AS A BOTTLE OF WINE", relying on the fact that a bottle of wine contains a deceptively small amount of alcohol. I could drink a bottle of wine in a night and not regret it the next morning, easily.
A lot of people can get drunk if they have a whole bottle of wine, man. You're supposed to share those. A bottle of wine's worth of alcohol in a pop top (even though it's a 24oz) can, does sound like you're putting a lot on someone's plate. Like if someone asked for whiskey--would you start them out by lining up four shots?
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KakodaimonosCode fondlerHelping the 1% get richerRegistered Userregular
edited November 2010
That would probably be too much info for the first date. Though maybe she thought it was worth putting out there right away just to get it out of the way.
I've always waffled on that when we start talking about the whole family thing. I usually just don't say too much till I get to know them more since it's not exactly something that can be mentioned quickly and without details.
Yeah, that's kind of an over-share for a first date. It's a pretty serious topic, and first dates aren't generally the place for serious conversation. Not that you can't have them, it's just that you really generally just focus on getting to know each other a bit.
If someone dropped something like that on me during date one, I'd honestly be hesitant about date two. Maybe that's harsh, but it just seems like this person isn't much of a "boundaries" person.
I think it's straight-up confrontational. I have a friend who was raped in high school and whenever she gets a new boyfriend (they've been progressively better than the previous, so it's a good thing in this case), she doesn't lay that stuff on them. Her case is that "they're so nice, and I love having a normal relationship. I don't want them to think I'm a victim defined by a tragedy, especially considering that I LIKE SEX."
And she has a point. Telling a dude that you're on a date with something sexual and violent and personal changes the relationship. The dude feels sympathetic, but also feels guilty.
I think that's generally why you don't talk about traumatic childhood experiences on early dates. I mean, not that everything needs to be sunshine and kittens, but laying on tragedies is a downer, man. I would imagine these subjects are also not commonly on user profiles.
I fucked it up by saying if she ever wanted to hang out to text me. Haven't heard from her since.
The "if you ever want to get together, contact me" bit is a pretty weak way to try to initiate contact. If you want to ask someone out, don't half-ass it.
So he's overseeing the minutia of their lives? I mean, that's what he means by micro-managing, right? Seems kinda bossy.
Maybe they're getting caught on the roads leading to the lumber resources. Women can be pretty bad at harvesting.
First you get the women, then you get the money, then you get the power.
First you get the jobs, then you get the khakis, then you get the chicks.
No man, first you get the lokos, then you get the loco, then you get the oh god where am I and who is this beside me what the fuck is that a goddamn sheep
Yet I haven't had sex in almost a month. Its not fair
Yeah, that's hella not fair bro
Wait I forgot I have not had sex in about, oh, ever.
In my lifetime.
Hey, in other news, guess how many girls I'm micro-managing?
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The problem with having this kind of mentality is that it comes through in your conversation with the fairer sex. I mean, you kind of sound like a downer. Sex is nice, sure, but having a relationship is supposed to be fun. It's supposed to make you feel better. No one wants to date a Debbie Downer.
The toast is correct. More down you are about being single, more likely you are to stay that way.
Yep, thats why this last year was a major turn around for me. Prior to January, the last date I was on was roughly... 3 years before (I think). I was getting annoyed seeing all my friends from school off getting married and having kids, when I still couldnt even MEET anyone I was interested in. I'd meet people I was attracted to physically but not mentally (If I can't have a simple conversation with you at least I definitely dont want a relationship), and the other way around (cool, a new friend), but the only people that I was REALLY attracted to were always already in a relationship. But looking back, I was not really even trying to meet people, so it was mostly my own damn fault that I wasn't dating.
Now I actually make an effort to try and meet people Im interested in and while nothing has worked out so far, I'm not so damned pessimistic about it as I was before. And on the plus side, most women my age are fairly settled down by this point, and are ready for a relationship instead of the bullshit of the early 20s that so many seem to go through.
The toast is correct. More down you are about being single, more likely you are to stay that way.
Sorry, but this is magical thinking. You might think it's encouraging, but it just makes people who already feel bad feel bad about feeling bad.
For three years I was completely fine with being single. I didn't care, I figured I'd meet a guy organically, and I'd just do things I liked, and keep my eye out for serendipity. I got out, I went to parties, I talked to boys.
And guess what? I didn't meet anyone. I didn't have a single decent date. Nothing positive happened romantically the entire time. It was the longest lull I've ever had romantically. You can be completely happy being single and have no luck at all. Or you can be horribly, morosely depressed and meet the person of your dreams. I didn't realize until three years had gone past that I'd just wasted three years.
I'm not saying that posting on the internet about how you've never had sex is the best, most productive thing you could be doing. But some of my best dates have come from wild, reactionary thrashing about in frustration. There's a difference between the kind of sadness that leads to productive things, and the kind of sadness that doesn't. I think a lot of it has to do with how you couch the terms of your dissatisfaction. If you're depressed but you're just thinking "so far my RNG has been TERRIBLE, but I might as well keep rolling" then that's likely to be helpful. If you're thinking "Oh woe is me, everyone is stupid and has wronged me" you're not heading anywhere good.
But the whole "As soon as you stop being down about things, good things will happen" line? It's a myth.
Cultural Geek Girl on
Buttoneer, Brigadeer, and Keeper of the Book of Wil Wheaton.
Triwizard Drinking Tournament - '09 !Hufflepuff unofficial conscript, '10 !Gryffindor
Nerd blog at culturalgeekgirl.com
The toast is correct. More down you are about being single, more likely you are to stay that way.
<snip>
But the whole "As soon as you stop being down about things, good things will happen" line? It's a myth.
Well, thats good, since that wasn't what i said.
You've read a whole lot more into my comment then was there. What Toast said, and what I agree with is that if you are super down about being single, it is going to come across in your demeanour and interactions with people. And the mere whiff of desperation is like dating-kryptonite.
Not being down about it isn't going to make someone fall from the heavens, but if you are other wise feeling good about yourself and positively pursuing things in life, you are going to be way more attractive than the person moping around feeling sorry for themselves.
The toast is correct. More down you are about being single, more likely you are to stay that way.
<snip>
But the whole "As soon as you stop being down about things, good things will happen" line? It's a myth.
Well, thats good, since that wasn't what i said.
You've read a whole lot more into my comment then was there. What Toast said, and what I agree with is that if you are super down about being single, it is going to come across in your demeanour and interactions with people. And the mere whiff of desperation is like dating-kryptonite.
Not being down about it isn't going to make someone fall from the heavens, but if you are other wise feeling good about yourself and positively pursuing things in life, you are going to be way more attractive than the person moping around feeling sorry for themselves.
If you'd just limed EggyToast's post, I would have agreed with you, but it seemed that you were trying to expand on it... and it seems like you're still trying to, even now. Can you see how I could interpret the phrase "More down you are about being single, more likely you are to stay that way," as a direct cause-and-effect statement? It wasn't exactly clear whether you were trying to summarize the previous post or infer a broader conclusion from its basic premise. :P I don't even agree with your more recent, clarifying post. Depression and desperation aren't always detrimental.
I fell for a guy recently because he was really good at cleverly and entertainingly talking about his sad history with the ladies (cleverness for the initial attraction + sympathy for a quick empathetic bond). I fell for a guy once in the past because he was so rumbly and sure he'd be betrayed, but softened up and relaxed at the first hint of kindness. I know I'm not the only girl who feels this way; some girls like damaged cynics. This is why chicks dig Severus Snape.
(Note: I also like really cheerful guys, but it's usually one extreme or the other -- either a barrel of sunshine or a clutch of thundershowers.)
I'd argue that the trouble isn't being down, or desperate. It's being BORING about it. Have you ever seen Red Dwarf? If you have, bear this fact in mind: A. J. Rimmer has fangirls. A lot of them. And he's as desperate and depressive as they get; basically marvin the paranoid android, only more human and less successful. But he's got three qualities that allow him to still be a heartthrob, to a certain kind of girl: he's clean, he's funny, and he opens like a rose at the first sign of real kindness.
Most of the classic male romantic leads in literature are depressed or desperate to start out. What really matters is how you react to the positive. I could go into this a bit more, but I already feel like I'm offering up a cheat-sheet to my gender's innermost secrets.
Basically I'm saying that "being a downer" =/= being down, depressed, or desperate. Nobody likes a downer, but not everyone who is down is a downer. So it's possible we're trying to say the same thing after all.
Though I have found that being sad and romantic doesn't work for girls. You'd better put on a happy face, ladies... but not too happy. A lot of guys find extreme cheerfulness annoying. Be exactly medium happy.
Cultural Geek Girl on
Buttoneer, Brigadeer, and Keeper of the Book of Wil Wheaton.
Triwizard Drinking Tournament - '09 !Hufflepuff unofficial conscript, '10 !Gryffindor
Nerd blog at culturalgeekgirl.com
Kids these days got no damn drinking culture anymore.
Anyway I've writing this one girl about a quote by James Agee and she seems nice enough. Not going in any particular direction with this but it's nice to have someone respond at least. She's in my department and likes Volbeat, too.
Ferrus on
I would like to pause for a moment, to talk about my penis.
My penis is like a toddler. A toddler—who is a perfectly normal size for his age—on a long road trip to what he thinks is Disney World. My penis is excited because he hasn’t been to Disney World in a long, long time, but remembers a time when he used to go every day. So now the penis toddler is constantly fidgeting, whining “Are we there yet? Are we there yet? How about now? Now? How about... now?”
And Disney World is nowhere in sight.
I find extreme cheerfulness to be refreshing. I mean... not creepy plastered-on-smile cheerfulness, but actualy genuine cheerfulness.
Even though I'm a definite frowner, I grow tired of seeing women walk around with mope-face. Through three years of college (yeah, three years, I'm an over-achiever), I developed a definite distaste for that adolescent-looking crossarmed frown.
On the other hand, I've never had much success while in a blue mood, no matter what the reason. However, I did randomly meet my first love just hours after I experienced a suicidal episode. Love at first sight, I shit you not. I guess it's all up to the whims of cupid... that chubby little Hawkeye-wannabe bastard.
Anyway, tonight I've got a date with a cute programmer who, since exchanging numbers, has been texting me for quite a bit. She seems pretty cool, and gets off on vocabulary, so that's exciting. Although she did mention that she hates the Dreamcast, so... conundrum.
Meanwhile, I'm still seeing girl from before. She mentioned that we wouldn't be seeing much of eachother until after she graduated, but we've already seen eachother three times since she said that, all in the course of five days. She's okay with the idea of me going on dates, but if this next one doesn't pan out, I'm gonna stop looking around. It's hard enough just liking one person, let alone two...
I would like to pause for a moment, to talk about my penis.
My penis is like a toddler. A toddler—who is a perfectly normal size for his age—on a long road trip to what he thinks is Disney World. My penis is excited because he hasn’t been to Disney World in a long, long time, but remembers a time when he used to go every day. So now the penis toddler is constantly fidgeting, whining “Are we there yet? Are we there yet? How about now? Now? How about... now?”
And Disney World is nowhere in sight.
I fucked it up by saying if she ever wanted to hang out to text me. Haven't heard from her since.
The "if you ever want to get together, contact me" bit is a pretty weak way to try to initiate contact. If you want to ask someone out, don't half-ass it.
Good News everyone!
It seems I am either insanely lucky or she is just being nice, because she messaged me back last night after getting off work. Said she would definately text me sometime but that she works a lot. I'm not trying to read too much into it. Mainly because it being days later she messaged me, 1:38am when she sent the message and the "definately" vs "but I work a lot." Cause I could totally have a psuedo-intellectual like pscho-analysis conversation about the message where I turn out to be completely wrong but so right.
Anyway, I'm just excited to hear back from her. I had somewhat of a crush on her back in 8th grade, and I'm really interested to see what her personality has developed into from the past (holy shit it's been 13 years since 8th grade) 13 years.
So YEA!
Also The Bi-sexual Martial Artist (PFS/JKD....) with no car and just got a job at a bookstore who messaged me first seems to have stopped texting me back. And not a single fuck was given that day.
If you'd just limed EggyToast's post, I would have agreed with you, but it seemed that you were trying to expand on it... and it seems like you're still trying to, even now. Can you see how I could interpret the phrase "More down you are about being single, more likely you are to stay that way," as a direct cause-and-effect statement? It wasn't exactly clear whether you were trying to summarize the previous post or infer a broader conclusion from its basic premise. I don't even agree with your more recent, clarifying post. Depression and desperation aren't always detrimental.
I think the confusion is that Corvus agreed with me in the sense that no one likes hanging out with a downer, but I do think you interpret that as being supportive of the opposite -- that being positive and cheerful means everyone wants to hang out with you — and therefore will flock to you.
I mean, the common argument when people break up (or are pre-relationship) is to not dwell on the relationship, and work on being happy as a single person. Once you are happy being single, then you can put effort into relationships. That seems confusing, on its face — if you're happy being single why are you looking to not be single anymore? — but it's true.
Your observations about what makes a person attractive to others is very true, though. You can absolutely be a "glass half empty" person but be enjoyable company. I still think that falls into being comfortable with it; people can generally tell when you're being humorously self-deprecating vs. an actual downer. Talking about how terrible past relationships have been, with the idea of "I was so stupid, but now I'm happy I'm not in them anymore" frame of mind is, yes, deeply entertaining. But the tired saw of "she dumped me, she was the best thing that happened to me and I have trouble getting up every morning because no one is ever going to love me again" is a great way to remain single (and repulse friends, too).
Well I managed to snag a date with this cute girl, but she's just outside the city limits via subway. That's a bit of a bummer; she wasn't a superbabe like that blonde chick, but she had a good heart and was really interesting to chat with!
Next time i'll make sure to keep the search inside the toronto area.
Welp, I had a shocking first date with an OKC girl on the weekend. Stood me up for about an hour and when she finally turned up and we got to talking, all she did was bitch on and on about reeaaally petty office politics and generally made it abundantly clear that she'd spun a lot of BS about her interests on her profile. On top of that she was at least 20kgs (about 45 pounds?) heavier than her profile pics would suggest. Not that I want to sound too shallow, but without a winning personality I was out of there quick smart.
So I'm taking this girl from Minnesota to a hockey game tomorrow. Instant points right there. This breaks my usual rule of a casual, low cost first date, but I already had the tickets (season ticket holder) and didn't have anyone to go with yet, so I figured what the hell.
So this girl I've been talking with for over a year online just moved to Japan. And I'm about to move to Korea in about two weeks. We plan to meet and vacation in either Seoul or Tokyo sometime in spring for the very first time. Long distance relationships are anything but easy but we're trying to make it work. At least airfare between Japan and Korea is pretty cheap and fast.
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RentI'm always rightFuckin' deal with itRegistered Userregular
Welp, I had a shocking first date with an OKC girl on the weekend. Stood me up for about an hour and when she finally turned up and we got to talking, all she did was bitch on and on about reeaaally petty office politics and generally made it abundantly clear that she'd spun a lot of BS about her interests on her profile. On top of that she was at least 20kgs (about 45 pounds?) heavier than her profile pics would suggest. Not that I want to sound too shallow, but without a winning personality I was out of there quick smart.
you seriously waited for an hour for her? damn dude my limit would be 30 mins if that
Welp, I had a shocking first date with an OKC girl on the weekend. Stood me up for about an hour and when she finally turned up and we got to talking, all she did was bitch on and on about reeaaally petty office politics and generally made it abundantly clear that she'd spun a lot of BS about her interests on her profile. On top of that she was at least 20kgs (about 45 pounds?) heavier than her profile pics would suggest. Not that I want to sound too shallow, but without a winning personality I was out of there quick smart.
you seriously waited for an hour for her? damn dude my limit would be 30 mins if that
You're telling me you wouldn't wait for this ticking time bomb of amazingness that is obviously too good for Tef? Who is so good that Tef should be the ground that this divine creature walks on?
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I consider it to be somewhat too much info for a first meeting even though I am very sympathetic to tragedy. I don't know, I find that if a conversation was getting into that subject it may be less awkward to talk about. For any really personal matter really.
A lot of people can get drunk if they have a whole bottle of wine, man. You're supposed to share those. A bottle of wine's worth of alcohol in a pop top (even though it's a 24oz) can, does sound like you're putting a lot on someone's plate. Like if someone asked for whiskey--would you start them out by lining up four shots?
I've always waffled on that when we start talking about the whole family thing. I usually just don't say too much till I get to know them more since it's not exactly something that can be mentioned quickly and without details.
If someone dropped something like that on me during date one, I'd honestly be hesitant about date two. Maybe that's harsh, but it just seems like this person isn't much of a "boundaries" person.
And she has a point. Telling a dude that you're on a date with something sexual and violent and personal changes the relationship. The dude feels sympathetic, but also feels guilty.
I think that's generally why you don't talk about traumatic childhood experiences on early dates. I mean, not that everything needs to be sunshine and kittens, but laying on tragedies is a downer, man. I would imagine these subjects are also not commonly on user profiles.
Yeah, that's hella not fair bro
Wait I forgot I have not had sex in about, oh, ever.
In my lifetime.
Hey, in other news, guess how many girls I'm micro-managing?
Sounds like it's time to get on that, and maybe not guilt others, eh?
Maybe they're getting caught on the roads leading to the lumber resources. Women can be pretty bad at harvesting.
First you get the women, then you get the money, then you get the power.
3ds friend code: 2981-6032-4118
First you get the jobs, then you get the khakis, then you get the chicks.
The "if you ever want to get together, contact me" bit is a pretty weak way to try to initiate contact. If you want to ask someone out, don't half-ass it.
No man, first you get the lokos, then you get the loco, then you get the oh god where am I and who is this beside me what the fuck is that a goddamn sheep
Never again Scotland, never again.
The problem with having this kind of mentality is that it comes through in your conversation with the fairer sex. I mean, you kind of sound like a downer. Sex is nice, sure, but having a relationship is supposed to be fun. It's supposed to make you feel better. No one wants to date a Debbie Downer.
Yep, thats why this last year was a major turn around for me. Prior to January, the last date I was on was roughly... 3 years before (I think). I was getting annoyed seeing all my friends from school off getting married and having kids, when I still couldnt even MEET anyone I was interested in. I'd meet people I was attracted to physically but not mentally (If I can't have a simple conversation with you at least I definitely dont want a relationship), and the other way around (cool, a new friend), but the only people that I was REALLY attracted to were always already in a relationship. But looking back, I was not really even trying to meet people, so it was mostly my own damn fault that I wasn't dating.
Now I actually make an effort to try and meet people Im interested in and while nothing has worked out so far, I'm not so damned pessimistic about it as I was before. And on the plus side, most women my age are fairly settled down by this point, and are ready for a relationship instead of the bullshit of the early 20s that so many seem to go through.
Sorry, but this is magical thinking. You might think it's encouraging, but it just makes people who already feel bad feel bad about feeling bad.
For three years I was completely fine with being single. I didn't care, I figured I'd meet a guy organically, and I'd just do things I liked, and keep my eye out for serendipity. I got out, I went to parties, I talked to boys.
And guess what? I didn't meet anyone. I didn't have a single decent date. Nothing positive happened romantically the entire time. It was the longest lull I've ever had romantically. You can be completely happy being single and have no luck at all. Or you can be horribly, morosely depressed and meet the person of your dreams. I didn't realize until three years had gone past that I'd just wasted three years.
I'm not saying that posting on the internet about how you've never had sex is the best, most productive thing you could be doing. But some of my best dates have come from wild, reactionary thrashing about in frustration. There's a difference between the kind of sadness that leads to productive things, and the kind of sadness that doesn't. I think a lot of it has to do with how you couch the terms of your dissatisfaction. If you're depressed but you're just thinking "so far my RNG has been TERRIBLE, but I might as well keep rolling" then that's likely to be helpful. If you're thinking "Oh woe is me, everyone is stupid and has wronged me" you're not heading anywhere good.
But the whole "As soon as you stop being down about things, good things will happen" line? It's a myth.
Triwizard Drinking Tournament - '09 !Hufflepuff unofficial conscript, '10 !Gryffindor
Nerd blog at culturalgeekgirl.com
Well, thats good, since that wasn't what i said.
You've read a whole lot more into my comment then was there. What Toast said, and what I agree with is that if you are super down about being single, it is going to come across in your demeanour and interactions with people. And the mere whiff of desperation is like dating-kryptonite.
Not being down about it isn't going to make someone fall from the heavens, but if you are other wise feeling good about yourself and positively pursuing things in life, you are going to be way more attractive than the person moping around feeling sorry for themselves.
I fell for a guy recently because he was really good at cleverly and entertainingly talking about his sad history with the ladies (cleverness for the initial attraction + sympathy for a quick empathetic bond). I fell for a guy once in the past because he was so rumbly and sure he'd be betrayed, but softened up and relaxed at the first hint of kindness. I know I'm not the only girl who feels this way; some girls like damaged cynics. This is why chicks dig Severus Snape.
(Note: I also like really cheerful guys, but it's usually one extreme or the other -- either a barrel of sunshine or a clutch of thundershowers.)
I'd argue that the trouble isn't being down, or desperate. It's being BORING about it. Have you ever seen Red Dwarf? If you have, bear this fact in mind: A. J. Rimmer has fangirls. A lot of them. And he's as desperate and depressive as they get; basically marvin the paranoid android, only more human and less successful. But he's got three qualities that allow him to still be a heartthrob, to a certain kind of girl: he's clean, he's funny, and he opens like a rose at the first sign of real kindness.
Most of the classic male romantic leads in literature are depressed or desperate to start out. What really matters is how you react to the positive. I could go into this a bit more, but I already feel like I'm offering up a cheat-sheet to my gender's innermost secrets.
Basically I'm saying that "being a downer" =/= being down, depressed, or desperate. Nobody likes a downer, but not everyone who is down is a downer. So it's possible we're trying to say the same thing after all.
Though I have found that being sad and romantic doesn't work for girls. You'd better put on a happy face, ladies... but not too happy. A lot of guys find extreme cheerfulness annoying. Be exactly medium happy.
Triwizard Drinking Tournament - '09 !Hufflepuff unofficial conscript, '10 !Gryffindor
Nerd blog at culturalgeekgirl.com
Kids these days got no damn drinking culture anymore.
Anyway I've writing this one girl about a quote by James Agee and she seems nice enough. Not going in any particular direction with this but it's nice to have someone respond at least. She's in my department and likes Volbeat, too.
And Disney World is nowhere in sight.
Even though I'm a definite frowner, I grow tired of seeing women walk around with mope-face. Through three years of college (yeah, three years, I'm an over-achiever), I developed a definite distaste for that adolescent-looking crossarmed frown.
On the other hand, I've never had much success while in a blue mood, no matter what the reason. However, I did randomly meet my first love just hours after I experienced a suicidal episode. Love at first sight, I shit you not. I guess it's all up to the whims of cupid... that chubby little Hawkeye-wannabe bastard.
What about Illumise?
Anyway, tonight I've got a date with a cute programmer who, since exchanging numbers, has been texting me for quite a bit. She seems pretty cool, and gets off on vocabulary, so that's exciting. Although she did mention that she hates the Dreamcast, so... conundrum.
Meanwhile, I'm still seeing girl from before. She mentioned that we wouldn't be seeing much of eachother until after she graduated, but we've already seen eachother three times since she said that, all in the course of five days. She's okay with the idea of me going on dates, but if this next one doesn't pan out, I'm gonna stop looking around. It's hard enough just liking one person, let alone two...
I don't know if she's my type, but damn those potatoes sound delicious.
Excuse me, I don't speak Pokemans.
And Disney World is nowhere in sight.
Good News everyone!
It seems I am either insanely lucky or she is just being nice, because she messaged me back last night after getting off work. Said she would definately text me sometime but that she works a lot. I'm not trying to read too much into it. Mainly because it being days later she messaged me, 1:38am when she sent the message and the "definately" vs "but I work a lot." Cause I could totally have a psuedo-intellectual like pscho-analysis conversation about the message where I turn out to be completely wrong but so right.
Anyway, I'm just excited to hear back from her. I had somewhat of a crush on her back in 8th grade, and I'm really interested to see what her personality has developed into from the past (holy shit it's been 13 years since 8th grade) 13 years.
So YEA!
Also The Bi-sexual Martial Artist (PFS/JKD....) with no car and just got a job at a bookstore who messaged me first seems to have stopped texting me back. And not a single fuck was given that day.
Obviously that's intended as a challenge. Do you have a tastier recipe to counter with?
I think the confusion is that Corvus agreed with me in the sense that no one likes hanging out with a downer, but I do think you interpret that as being supportive of the opposite -- that being positive and cheerful means everyone wants to hang out with you — and therefore will flock to you.
I mean, the common argument when people break up (or are pre-relationship) is to not dwell on the relationship, and work on being happy as a single person. Once you are happy being single, then you can put effort into relationships. That seems confusing, on its face — if you're happy being single why are you looking to not be single anymore? — but it's true.
Your observations about what makes a person attractive to others is very true, though. You can absolutely be a "glass half empty" person but be enjoyable company. I still think that falls into being comfortable with it; people can generally tell when you're being humorously self-deprecating vs. an actual downer. Talking about how terrible past relationships have been, with the idea of "I was so stupid, but now I'm happy I'm not in them anymore" frame of mind is, yes, deeply entertaining. But the tired saw of "she dumped me, she was the best thing that happened to me and I have trouble getting up every morning because no one is ever going to love me again" is a great way to remain single (and repulse friends, too).
Next time i'll make sure to keep the search inside the toronto area.
Doubtful. I can do damned good Italian, but this girl is a trained chef.
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better
bit.ly/2XQM1ke
That's really up to her. It's a lot of travel time, and she's studying for finals at the moment.
Sometimes you have a lot of odds against you and it's better to walk.
What could go wrong?
you seriously waited for an hour for her? damn dude my limit would be 30 mins if that
You're telling me you wouldn't wait for this ticking time bomb of amazingness that is obviously too good for Tef? Who is so good that Tef should be the ground that this divine creature walks on?