Jesus. Up on the Oliphant. Cuttin down muffuggahz

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Posts

  • ninjaininjai Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Spectre-x wrote: »
    Some problems I have with your comics:

    They're really tiny. They're very small and you draw things very small so it's hard to tell what's going on because everything's so very, very tiny.

    Your drawings are also very murky and scratchy, with inconsistently-drawn characters. You don't really know how to use contrast between light and dark, so it's hard to tell what's going on because it's hard to tell what the shape of anything is. All of your comics that I have seen so far are like some magic eye thing. I have to look at them and turn my head a bit and squint and focus and unfocus at random intervals to try and figure out what's going on.

    And it's too bad that you don't plan on making any changes to that Quick & the Dead thing, because it is almost completely indecipherable at the moment. As Iruka said, they look like they're five feet apart. What's the guy's arm doing in panel four? Turning into a feather duster? Exploding? Vibrating at supersonic speeds? What's he doing with it in the last panel? Is that even how you use a gun or are you inventing a series of actions based on things you have half-remembered from westerns where people use guns that function in a completely different manner? Is the guy who threw the grenade the same guy as the one with the shotgun? Because we need a magnifying glass to tell if this is the case. Other than a grin and a scratch of about three pixels in size there is no way to tell if they are the same guy whatsoever.

    What's the grenade doing there? Why was it thrown? If it's to try and kill the first guy, why isn't he diving out of the way instead of drawing his gun, or raising his semiautomatic which he has to cock for some reason to shoot the guy with the shotgun which he also has to cock even though the real shotgun it resembles most is also a semiautomatic? Nothing about the comic makes sense. Hell, the guys seem to even be moving at drastically different speeds.

    We can't even tell what they're doing because, again, it's too dark, tiny and messy to properly make out anyone's actions on the page. The guy's hands in the final panel are also wildly different sizes. There's no real flow to people's actions, they look like they're posing for a painting or something. They're not even posing in the middle of actions, but they look like they're posing in between seperate actions. The eyes don't flow naturally from panel to panel, it's hard to tell that they're supposed to be part of a narrative besides the fact that they're on the same page. So it's that, plus your comics have no real internal logic that I can figure out.

    I'm sorry, but these are just a huge, indecipherable mess. You need to work on cohesion within the page, cleaning up your stuff so we can tell what's going on, consistensy, flow, gestures, basically everything. Have you read Making Comics yet? By Scott McCloud? I know Understanding Comics was a revelation for you, but Making Comics would benefit you even more, on account of how it deals with all of the many, many issues that plague your comics at the moment.

    Finally, I'm baffled by the joke in your Randy Savage comic. I just can't seem to wrap my head around it. Is it the fact that he takes viagra at all? That's not much of a joke. Is it the way viagra is portrayed? Okay, but then you don't need the last panel and you could put in a panel somewhere earlier to provide us with better build-up. Is it the fact that he can only last for three minutes? But he just took viagra. Is it the joke that he can only last for three minutes despite having taken viagra? It's just incredibly confusing. It's like you're trying out all kinds of different elements from all kinds of different possible jokes, but none of these elements really reinforce each other or even have anything to do with each other besides the basic premise of "viagra".

    Thanks for your feedback. Nearly all of your points are spot on. I was not planning on making changes to the page, that was before I read "Understanding Comics" and "Making Comcis" both of which are gaddam amazing.

    Having read those, I clearly understand what you're getting at, the problem I now face is knowing how to fix them. Now that I'm back in the sandbox, I have all my equipment and plan on drawing lots, still don't plan on fixing that page because it came out how I imagined, but is still shit (i'm not leaving it out of ignorance, I'm leaving it out of confusion, cuz I don't know what isn't working... I'll have to come back to it if I feel like its worth saving, which atm its not worth saving)

    And the macho man randy savage thing is like what seig said. Its a whole spiderman bonesaw joke. The joke was "Boner is ready" like... "Bonesaw is ready" the 3 minutes part was just icng on the cake.


    edit: These both are my first 2 comics that aren't just "2 dudes talking" type of comic.

    so I admit they're fucking terrible, so please keep up with the nitty gritty feedbacks like this one... cuz i have no idea wtf I'm doing... still

    other edit:

    the grenade placement was my lazy attempt at pasting in wtf was happening before the opening panel... and so I guess it didn't work at all :( I have a few ideas on how to fix it but it ruins the rest of the page... gah!!! I'm probably just going to abandon that, do a few one shot panels for practice.

    ninjai on
  • SiegfriedSiegfried Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Don't get too discouraged, I think you're doing a pretty decent job for your experience level. Keep up the work, I look forward to more stuff.

    Siegfried on
    Portfolio // Twitter // Behance // Tumblr
    Kochikens wrote:
    My fav is when I can get my kiss on with other dudes.
  • ninjaininjai Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Here is a comic

    shirebitchiz1.png
    shirebitchiz2.png
    shirebitchiz3.png
    shirebitchiz4.png



    Here is a doodle.
    coppers.png

    Here's a few sketches.
    coppers1w.png



    Critiques?

    ninjai on
  • ninjaininjai Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    Shape and perspective practice.

    Not even sure if that's 3pt perspective at the bottom.
    Or even what doing these excercises are supposed to do. I'm TRYING to work up some line confidence, and drawing single consistent lines.

    Also drew a few pages of straight lines free hand. Didn't figure that was worth uploading.

    Let me know if I'm heading the right direction.

    And before you get all "draw frum life nub" I'm doing that right now :D

    shapes10002.jpg
    shapes2.jpg
    shapes3.jpg
    shapes4.jpg
    perspectivepractice.jpg

    ninjai on
  • ninjaininjai Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    bikeat.jpg


    Trying to have confident lines, so I did this in pen.
    Front tire is WAY too fucking big.


    reference
    biek.png

    WOW that look horribad.

    ninjai on
  • m3nacem3nace Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    What kind of pen?

    m3nace on
  • ninjaininjai Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    Just a ball point.

    y do you ask?

    ninjai on
  • m3nacem3nace Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    Try using a dip pen and some proper ink. Ballpoint pens are fine for rough sketches but if you were going for confident lines I'd advise you to use a dip pen because ballpoint pens can (as you see) get quite sketchy and it's rather hard to practice line weight with them. Using a dip pen you only get one chance to make that perfect line, one single sway of the pen, whereas you can handle a ballpoint pen as a pencil (except for erasing obviously).
    Line weight practice + line consistency practice! WOOOO

    m3nace on
  • ninjaininjai Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    IDK what a dip pen even is! But by jove, when I get home I'm going to by some and play with them! :D Thanks for the feed back.

    So, as I promised last night in the [chat] thread, last night was figure practice time :o So I went home and cracked open a loomis book "Successful Drawing" I started from the beginning like you should with any book, and all that perspective shit was waaaaay over my head, and I didn't feel like reading a fucking dissertation. I was tired.

    Not only that, but he digs into the weeds on a lot of shit. For example "NO RLY srsly guys, I once knew a guy... who tried to draw someting? But he couldn't draw it." Wow. Cool story bro. Will tell again.

    WTF? I just wanted to draw stuff. So I scrolled through and found the inevitable gesture drawings, and proceeded to copy them.

    Here's what I came up with. The first 2 pages are loomis copies.

    figurers1.jpg
    figures2g.jpg

    the next 2 pages are from my imagination... and as you can probably tell, I'm super excited about them, so critique them to shit plz!!!

    figures4.jpg
    figures3.jpg

    I especially like this page ^^^ the top left and middle poses are fun ! :D

    ninjai on
  • BroloBrolo Broseidon Lord of the BroceanRegistered User regular
    edited June 2011
    much better ninj!

    keep it up!

    you might want to try Loomis' "Figure Drawing for All It's Worth" as well, it tends to get to the point a little bit faster than his other books and most of the lessons are self-contained so you don't need to do all that much reading

    Brolo on
  • ninjaininjai Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    Rolo wrote: »
    much better ninj!

    keep it up!

    you might want to try Loomis' "Figure Drawing for All It's Worth" as well, it tends to get to the point a little bit faster than his other books and most of the lessons are self-contained so you don't need to do all that much reading


    Yeah, I archived all the useful books from the master help thread when I got my laptop. They've been indespensible (when I get around to using them :[ ) I just rarely spend time practicing. Look @ how much I've improved :D

    I should practice more!!!

    ^^^DAM U IRUKA!!! :D^^^

    ninjai on
  • ninjaininjai Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    SEE!!!?
    Look :D
    orderconfirmation.jpg
    I'm actually doing what you guys are telling me to do! :)

    Thanks so much for all the feedback and encouragement that has gotten me this far.

    And damn u iruka for telling me to practice... I think I'm beginning to enjoy it ;)
    You know I'm kidding right?
    Cuz I am. TY for all your help!

    ninjai on
  • IrukaIruka Registered User, Moderator mod
    edited June 2011
    :^: don't forget to try and draw from life and not just books and photos, though. Its important to figure out how to translate real shit to 2d.

    You're gonna do just fine ninjai.

    Iruka on
  • ninjaininjai Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    YES MA'AM!!! [/salute]

    Also, thank you :)

    Here's some office doodles.

    figures5.jpg
    figures6.jpg

    ninjai on
  • john-briner-artjohn-briner-art Registered User
    edited June 2011
    As I see all your works, you're going with perfection, you're improving in many aspects. I adore your comic sketches, creative! Keep on posting!

    john-briner-art on
  • m3nacem3nace Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    ninjai wrote:
    IDK what a dip pen even is
    dippenpoints.jpeg
    It's just these really. You could also use a fountain pen, but fountain pen ink is usually water soluble and can get quite runny, it takes longer to dry and it can seep into the paper on which you're drawing. Dip pen ink is way better, it's just more annoying to get used to dipping it the right amount and maintaining proper control of it. But dip pens use India ink which is really great!(also, remember to clean your dip pen after use - that's another bothersome part of it).

    m3nace on
  • ninjaininjai Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    Iruka wrote: »
    :^: don't forget to try and draw from life...

    This is an army man with a clown nose on its head that we colored eyes on sitting on my desk. I thought it was funny so I drew it.
    superpacman.jpg

    Sat outside by a waterpoint after the gym yesterday and drew this, applying my own rudimentary perspective ability. I think placement turned out great. Need more practice drawing straight lines.
    perspectivepractice2000.jpg

    Still sitting at the same spot, drew a few pages of gestures, this was the best out of the 3.
    gestures.jpg

    ninjai on
  • SiegfriedSiegfried Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    I'm sure you mentioned it before and I just didn't care enough to notice, but what exactly do you do for the military?

    Siegfried on
    Portfolio // Twitter // Behance // Tumblr
    Kochikens wrote:
    My fav is when I can get my kiss on with other dudes.
  • ninjaininjai Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    25S satellite communications operator/maintainer.

    essentially POG-ass bitch that gets paid to sit around on a computer all day.

    ninjai on
  • ninjaininjai Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    Iruka wrote: »
    The inks don't look bad for a first go at it. Inking takes a looong time to get good at, its a skill I need to spend more time on.

    Your jesters finger is blending into its head, you probably want to move that hand over.

    I think your shape studies are going in the right direction. Try experimenting with your shading. Cycle through a bunch of different motions (little slow circles, very light sweeping strokes, things like that) Shading with the form will also help (AOBs image here:
    1900_girl.jpg
    )

    I think I'm going to get to some of this tonight with my practices. Any suggestions? (i.e. tell me what to do :/ )

    ninjai on
  • ninjaininjai Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    So IDK if you guys have heard about this, but its pretty badass. This is how it played out in my mind.

    Page 3 will probably be the most confusing. They're doing hand signals, I'm gonna have to find a different way to rewhicker panels 3 and 4 (panel 3: hand and arm signal for come here, panel 4: hand and arm signal for cover me.) I have an idea, I'll have to fix that today before I forget. Also there is an establishing shot between page 1 and page 2, its going to be a full page, but I haven't worked it out yet so I didn't upload it. I'm planning on inking it traditionally and digitally for practice.

    pg1i.jpg

    ESTABLISHING SHOT

    pg2qh.jpg
    pg3j.jpg
    pg4l.jpg




    While I was smoking, the same truck I drew a while ago was sitting there, so I figured I'd draw it again to see how my perception has improved.

    Here ya go.

    NEW:
    truck0002.jpg

    OLD:
    shitcar.jpg

    ninjai on
  • ninjaininjai Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    So I'm going to assume from the lack of comments that either A) its indecipherable, or B) panels are just fine and I'm going to get to work.


    Todays office doodels
    dewdlz.jpg

    Also, I've been banned from using the computer at work LUL, and thats... sort of... my job to use it? Idk. wtf ever.

    ninjai on
  • Arden CaneloArden Canelo Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    Yep. The panels are very hard to make out visibly or make sense of besides that there might be military guys involved.

    Arden Canelo on
  • tapeslingertapeslinger Space Unicorn Slush Ranger Social Justice Rebel ScumRegistered User regular
    edited June 2011
    another inking instrument you might want to try would be a good quality felt-tip pen. I prefer felt tips over crow quills because they tend to dry fast (a must for me) and are considerably more portable. I like Pigma Microns (resist the urge to buy a 005, go for an 03, 05 or 08), the new Sharpie Pens, and the Copic Liners (pricey but refillable). Brush tip felt pens are helpful for experimenting with certain types of brushstroke inking. File this under "more advice about trying everything" but I hadn't seen anyone else suggest them so I figured I'd put it out there. You might like to read Shawn Martinbrough's book about drawing noir comics. (posting from my phone so I lack an Amazon link) The book assumes you know how to draw already, but since you are into the noir styling it is a useful book for understanding *why* to do things a certain way.

    tapeslinger on
  • spaniospanio Cartoonist Kentucky, USARegistered User regular
    edited June 2011
    Well Ninjai, this whole thread has been an awesome read. Tons of great advice from the community, and legitimate progress in your art. It's nice to see that there's someone willing to take critique and really do their best to implement it into their work as you have.
    Also, I've been inspired to get to work on my own art!

    spanio on
    ojjuJ.gif gLmBL.gif
  • melting_dollmelting_doll Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    Labeling stuff (like "coffee <---") is a habit you should break. I feel like it leads to explaining yourself more than needed, and takes from the humor. Even if it's just a doodle, I think it'd be good practice to make illustrations that tell enough of the story so you don't have to label everything. Even things like an "I am tired" caption isn't necessary if you can make the image clear enough (:

    melting_doll on
  • ninjaininjai Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    WOW!!! Thanks for all the positive comments!

    And MD, yeah I have a problem with knowing if I'm clear or not, so I tend to label things, I'll try to stop from now on :) TY for the tip


    freemanc.jpg

    ninjai on
  • MustangMustang Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    How would he remember that they put something in the water to make you forget if he drank the water?

    Mustang on
  • ninjaininjai Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    I was thinking that yesterday mustang. Next one will be gordon smashing him upside the head with a bat... to make him forget that he drank the water...

    I <3 MD's style so I tried to steal from it a bit in today's doodles.

    computersmas0002.jpg

    ninjai on
  • melting_dollmelting_doll Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    tee hee <3

    melting_doll on
  • ninjaininjai Registered User regular
    edited August 2011
    So I revived my thread because...
    I wanted some feedback, but I guess it was shitty to begin with.
    For those of you that play LoL this is Annie all grow'd up .... about to murder amumu
    12693884339dc05fe24c8121263cc937719435bc.jpg

    Also, I drew if Tsutomu Nihei invented a Washing Machine...

    126979160e680eb0db7ccd085e75d8212430a516.jpg
    Might as well put this here too
    picturedz.png

    ninjai on
  • ninjaininjai Registered User regular
    edited August 2011
    So this is a thing I've been working on for a thing. As it says in that thread I'm working on building character bio's and sketches, going to work on a map after I finish this guy...


    But I need some help.

    So obvious things are always helpful (because I forget about those all the time), but I'm running into one specific problem, this is dark as fuck. Its very... if forget the word... the tone is flat that one (haha remembered it midsentence and to lazy to backspace.) so if you have any photoshopping tips that could be useful, please let me know.

    The black panel is going to be for the character bio.
    13722269472339ff99329affc3d68c82b8619f27.jpg


    Here's some more unrelated stuff that I've done recently but haven't been able to find an image uploader

    13721669899413591cc2b428910b4b248c7d3212.jpg

    this one was part of a larger composition, an actual composition, but it turned out terrible so I turned off all the background layers and quit. :(

    1372170510d5fd2b9376d8e8290c07dec9fa000c.jpg

    ninjai on
  • ninjaininjai Registered User regular
    edited August 2011
    Yay for maps. Maps are fun to drawd.

    This is Sylvia, the realm where my Pathfinder game takes place. Parthedra is where the campaign starts.
    Still got loads of work to do on this one. Its taken me most of the day so far (more time spent sitting around than working on it)

    13751429650051d58b0f346b1f6c60e182e044bd.jpg
    edit:

    Oh yeah, @m3nace this is that picture I was talking about a while back about my friend not wanting me to upload it.

    It means "God's Vengeance" (loose translation)

    13743857e67efb784639edc4243b259cb5b52cf7.jpg

    ninjai on
  • BelruelBelruel NARUTO FUCKS Registered User regular
    I'm digging the last few things you've posted here.

    One thing I have noticed though is that your blocks of color don't looks very 'confident'. They are all wobbly, like you scribbled them with a too small brush and then nudged them with the erasure tool randomly.

    vmn6rftb232b.png
  • ninjaininjai Registered User regular
    edited August 2011
    That's because that's exactly what I did :P well sort of. I use a freakin huge brush, and then nudge it with the erasure tool randomly. I'm not quite sure how people get such neat forms otherwise. I mean, it takes me a while, but like the right arm of the warrior dude, looks pretty crisp by comparison, it just takes a lot longer...

    Not quite sure what else I could be doing.

    ninjai on
  • ninjaininjai Registered User regular
    138038572bf610dc85bc56d7f33827167edfc769.jpg

    here's a thing I tried to paint via mcgibs tutorial I watched eons ago, but in grayscale. IDK if its any good.

    It seems rather like my color drawings. Just large shapes with no details... idk where to go from here. The only thing I can think of is study the hell out of some fighter jet kind of things and steal little details from here or there, maybe some sci-fi robots stuff? Study light from the metals n stuff...

    but then I also don't know how much time to spend on these little doodles...

  • tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    ninjai wrote:
    That's because that's exactly what I did :P well sort of. I use a freakin huge brush, and then nudge it with the erasure tool randomly. I'm not quite sure how people get such neat forms otherwise.

    well ... practice, I guess? it's about having the motor control to make fast, confident strokes. But even if you do go overboard and want to erase back to get a clean, crisp line ... why nudge it randomly? you can wield the eraser confidently as well. But tiddling around with wibbly small brushes, whether they're paints or erasers, is always going to be difficult.

  • ninjaininjai Registered User regular
    13804841a8b333c639daa49738e8955e4dc6e79b.jpg

    This is a sort of speed painting of Romain Jeandrot (stunt rider) and also my profile picture.

    @Tynic, the thing is, I don't know what I could be doing differently. I did that "Death comes to all, and to all a good night" picture, and stumbled upon this method of drawing, by throwing down a few hooj blobs, and then erasing/using a white brush to mess around with forms until I found something I liked.

    I'm just sticking with what I know, and thats why I need photoshop help.

    Thats also the reason I'm not really using lines so much as big blobs of color.

  • NibCromNibCrom Registered User regular
    I think you need to be patient, Ninjai. It can take years and years to improve. Don't worry that you're not at the skill level you want to be at yet. Just keep on practicing.

  • ninjaininjai Registered User regular
    edited August 2011
    NibCrom wrote:
    I think you need to be patient, Ninjai. It can take years and years to improve. Don't worry that you're not at the skill level you want to be at yet. Just keep on practicing.

    Ha ha, thanks. I'm not really being impatient I don't think, just looking for some advice from more experienced people. I'm actually really happy with that terrible painting thing that I just uploaded. But if there's some brush or photoshop tweak I can do, or just some general rule of thumb that I'm missing, I could use the advice.

    I'm actually really proud of most of the stuff that I've uploaded in the last week or so, because it shows my improvement (though I'm a little embarrassed to admit it because of all the really good artists on here) so no worries :P I draw to relieve stress, not to horde it

    Looking back, I started my goal to improve day 1 of this deployment. Here I am leaving today having accomplished that goal. :D

    ninjai on
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