KakodaimonosCode fondlerHelping the 1% get richerRegistered Userregular
edited November 2010
Ugh. Math jokes.
What's purple and commutes?
An abelian grape
A 747 was flying along and was full of Polish people. As they were going past some landmarks, the pilot came over the intercom and instructed all who were interested in seeing the landmarks to look out the right side of the plane. Many passengers did and the plane crashed. Why?
There were too many poles in the right hand plane.
Iron WeaselDillon!You son of a bitch!Registered Userregular
edited November 2010
A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's wheel wedged down the front of his pantaloons. He approaches the bar and orders a drink. The bartender obliges, and after staring for a moment says, "I don't want to be rude but ... you have ship's wheel jammed into your pants. Isn't that uncomfortable?"
"Aye," says the pirate, "It's driving me nuts!"
A blonde and a brunette are sitting together on a rooftop terrace in New York City. It's a clear summer's night, and they are looking up at the moon hanging big and full and bright above them. The brunette turns to the blonde and says, "Which do you think is closer: the moon, or Detroit?"
The blonde rolls her eyes and says, "Well duh - can you see Detroit?"
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Heisenberg went for a drive and got stopped by a traffic cop. The cop asked, "Do you know how fast you were going?" Heisenberg replied, "No, but I know where I am."
A cop is out walking his beat and a drunk comes up to him, real worried, says to the cop "You gotta help me, somebody stole my car!"
Cop sees that this guy is drunk, asks him "Well wher'd you leave it?". Drunk holds up his car keys and says "Right here on the end of this key."
Cop laughs and tells him to head down to the station to get some help. The drunk turns away and the cop stops him again, says "Before you go downtown you'd better zip up your fly."
Drunk looks down at his crotch and says "Aw man they got my girlfriend too!"
A 747 was flying along and was full of Polish people. As they were going past some landmarks, the pilot came over the intercom and instructed all who were interested in seeing the landmarks to look out the right side of the plane. Many passengers did and the plane crashed. Why?
There were too many poles in the right hand plane.
man, the better joke is the one where the pilot is unconscious and the Polish person tries to save the plane from crashing, but he doesn't know much about flying. So while he's trying to figure out the controls, everyone is shouting at him to hurry up and level out the plane. So he tells them, "Be patient.
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also when i press here.
and when i apply pressure here it hurts as well.
"oh a broken finger"
Banach Tarski Paradox.
It was the joke I put in my dad's birthday card this year - he's a maths teacher.
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What's purple and commutes?
A 747 was flying along and was full of Polish people. As they were going past some landmarks, the pilot came over the intercom and instructed all who were interested in seeing the landmarks to look out the right side of the plane. Many passengers did and the plane crashed. Why?
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A blonde and a brunette are sitting together on a rooftop terrace in New York City. It's a clear summer's night, and they are looking up at the moon hanging big and full and bright above them. The brunette turns to the blonde and says, "Which do you think is closer: the moon, or Detroit?"
The Division, Warframe (XB1)
GT: Tanith 6227
Man where's the rest of it? That was the best
I don't get it
Cop sees that this guy is drunk, asks him "Well wher'd you leave it?". Drunk holds up his car keys and says "Right here on the end of this key."
Cop laughs and tells him to head down to the station to get some help. The drunk turns away and the cop stops him again, says "Before you go downtown you'd better zip up your fly."
Drunk looks down at his crotch and says "Aw man they got my girlfriend too!"
they are beautiful, especially the banach tarski one
Octal to decimal.
Or to go into more detail:
And you, NaS!
So a man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a moth!"
The doctor says, "You should really see a psychologist about that, not a doctor."
Man says, "Oh, I was on my way to see one, but as I passed, I saw your light was on."
Secret Satan 2013 Wishlist
e:
what do you call a guy with no arms and no legs going water-skiing?
what do you call his wife?
Oh dear it appears I have lol'd irl at the second part there
How did they get the Chilean miners out?
errrggggggghhhhhhhh
Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!
Heh.
Hahaha.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *thud*
How does he smell?
sigh
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