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COMING THIS SUMMER: A BABY [UPDATE]

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    Zen VulgarityZen Vulgarity What a lovely day for tea Secret British ThreadRegistered User regular
    edited July 2011
    What we can't have sex anymore? I thought this was America! I wanna bone!

    Zen Vulgarity on
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    PeenPeen Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    You'll need this as well:

    e8e0_lets_panic_about_babies.jpg

    Peen on
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    KillgrimageKillgrimage Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    Quoth I want to say I have been following this thread because my baby is due in less than 5 days (though it is my first and they say I might go over) and I am really excited and happy for you, except for the pain management from the c-section, that sucks. Your baby is TOO CUTE, no joke. I wish you nothing but good luck on your reproductive adventure!

    Killgrimage on
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    LednehLedneh shinesquawk Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    Good lord ANOTHER baby

    Where the hell are you people getting all these babies

    Ledneh on
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    DichotomyDichotomy Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    ambushing storks

    Dichotomy on
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    Spectre-xSpectre-x Rating: AWESOME YESRegistered User regular
    edited July 2011
    Ledneh wrote: »
    Good lord ANOTHER baby

    Where the hell are you people getting all these babies

    Blue Light Special at K-Mart.

    Sears if they're feeling fancy.

    Spectre-x on
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    Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    220px-The_Giving_Tree.jpg

    :(

    Centipede Damascus on
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    FishmanFishman Put your goddamned hand in the goddamned Box of Pain. Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    Yeah Quoth, I just want to say thanks for the thread. I'm familiar with a lot of things about birth at an academic level, but hearing anecdotal experience has actually been... illuminating. I'm pretty sure this will help my ethereal potential future self when my turn rolls around.

    Fishman on
    X-Com LP Thread I, II, III, IV, V
    That's unbelievably cool. Your new name is cool guy. Let's have sex.
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    fightinfilipinofightinfilipino Angry as Hell #BLMRegistered User regular
    edited July 2011
    Spectre-x wrote: »
    Ledneh wrote: »
    Good lord ANOTHER baby

    Where the hell are you people getting all these babies

    Blue Light Special at K-Mart.

    Sears if they're feeling fancy.

    i just go to the park. maybe a daycare if i'm feeling adventurous.

    fightinfilipino on
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    steam | Dokkan: 868846562
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    MaceraMacera UGH GODDAMMIT STOP ENJOYING THINGSRegistered User regular
    edited July 2011
    Dichotomy wrote: »
    ambushing storks

    Gp5Al.jpg

    Macera on
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    LednehLedneh shinesquawk Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    I miss new calvin and hobbes so much :(

    Ledneh on
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    GatsbyGatsby Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    We still suggesting books for kids? Because once my hypothetical future children reach a certain age I am definitely reading this to them.

    TheGraveyardBook_Hardcover_1218248432.jpg

    Gatsby on
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    BalefuegoBalefuego Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    hey wait a minute

    Quoth only made this OP 7 months ago.


    this was a shotgun thread

    Balefuego on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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    Dark Raven XDark Raven X Laugh hard, run fast, be kindRegistered User regular
    edited July 2011
    Contrary to what we learned in science, women actually don't have a complex alarm system in place to alert them the instant of conception.

    Dark Raven X on
    Oh brilliant
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    #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    edited July 2011
    Aussie Author Mem Fox makes amazing kids books

    I love this one, it's also my nephew's favourite

    1b.jpg

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ppfHys4CB3Q

    #pipe on
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    Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    who else remembers this book

    835202.jpg

    Centipede Damascus on
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    TankHammerTankHammer Atlanta Ghostbuster Atlanta, GARegistered User regular
    edited July 2011
    FUiKG.jpg

    This was one of my favorites. I think it's important for children to understand the dangers of nuclear war.

    Of course back then I was just mad the two nations didn't slug it out using the chicken-leg mechs they'd invented instead of the stupid blow-up-everything capsule.

    TankHammer on
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    RingoRingo He/Him a distinct lack of substanceRegistered User regular
    edited July 2011
    51Zdnlpk9IL.jpg

    Don't forget to teach your son the dangers of alcoholism!
    Product Description
    In this allegory, a caterpillar finds such a pleasant mellow glow inside a brown bottle that he rejects his friends and the outside world altogether, and becomes completely dependent on the bottle which traps and eventually kills him.

    Ahhhh, childhood

    Ringo on
    Sterica wrote: »
    I know my last visit to my grandpa on his deathbed was to find out how the whole Nazi werewolf thing turned out.
    Edcrab's Exigency RPG
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    Donovan PuppyfuckerDonovan Puppyfucker A dagger in the dark is worth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered User regular
    edited July 2011
    Edcrab wrote: »
    Quoth wrote: »
    I would never wish a c-section on anyone

    It sucks so much

    Just going to the bathroom is like embarking on an epic journey with a ranger and a bunch of hobbits

    Oh dear.

    It's never fun to be in a position where afterwards you're thinking "why couldn't that goddamn eagle have done it"

    wait uh

    what

    Quoth referenced The Lord of The Rings.

    Edcrab pointed out that the whole epic journey and battle between the good and bad could have been avoided by Gandalf taking the ring to Mt. Doom flying on the back of one of those giant eagles.

    Donovan Puppyfucker on
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    QuothQuoth the Raven Miami, FL FOR REALRegistered User regular
    edited July 2011
    In this analogy, the eagle is abortion

    Right

    ...

    Right

    Quoth on
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    Munkus BeaverMunkus Beaver You don't have to attend every argument you are invited to. Philosophy: Stoicism. Politics: Democratic SocialistRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    edited July 2011
    Quoth wrote: »
    In this analogy, the eagle is abortion

    Right

    ...

    Right

    The stork, Quoth.

    The stork.

    Munkus Beaver on
    Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but dies in the process.
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    PeccaviPeccavi Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    Quoth wrote: »
    In this analogy, the eagle is abortion

    Right

    ...

    Right

    Stem-Cell Research

    Peccavi on
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    QuothQuoth the Raven Miami, FL FOR REALRegistered User regular
    edited July 2011
    I am glad this thread is helping some people

    If anyone has any questions about stuff, I am down to answer

    Ask mully, I sugar coat nothing

    Like how after a c-section you basically don't poop for days, and when you do there's this horrible moment when you aren't sure if you can stretch enough to wipe your butt, and you wonder if you'll have to call your husband or a nurse to do it for you

    Quoth on
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    Dark Raven XDark Raven X Laugh hard, run fast, be kindRegistered User regular
    edited July 2011
    Is that down to muscle damage, or just the fantastic drugs we give you?

    I know lots of opiate drugs can mess with "the poop" - stool softeners and laxatives are given to everybody on my ward...

    Dark Raven X on
    Oh brilliant
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    AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    We postin' childhood books?

    This one right here

    eAECY.jpg

    My mom read it to me like all the dang time.

    My gave a copy to my sister for her baby shower and her and my mom teared up, or so I hear

    Abracadaniel on
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    crwthcrwth THAT'S IT Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    Smart Hero wrote: »
    We postin' childhood books?

    This one right here

    eAECY.jpg

    My mom read it to me like all the dang time.

    My gave a copy to my sister for her baby shower and her and my mom teared up, or so I hear

    dan i done posted that already

    but

    but it's such a good book oh man pretty glad i talked to my mom today

    crwth on
    EzUAYcn.png
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    AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    It's not yellowed! My mom still has it


    edit: When we bought it at the store Lady SH started reading it aloud and I was tearing up and yelling at her to stop

    Abracadaniel on
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    QuothQuoth the Raven Miami, FL FOR REALRegistered User regular
    edited July 2011
    Is that down to muscle damage, or just the fantastic drugs we give you?

    I know lots of opiate drugs can mess with "the poop" - stool softeners and laxatives are given to everybody on my ward...

    Mostly I think it's the not eating during labor, but also the epidural

    And c-section people at least are on a liquid diet for about a day

    Stool softeners are given but not always, because they might pass to the baby through breast milk

    I think I only took them twice

    Quoth on
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    AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    hey

    hey quoth

    at least it wasn't twins
    photo-17.jpg

    Abracadaniel on
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    QuothQuoth the Raven Miami, FL FOR REALRegistered User regular
    edited July 2011
    I shudder to think

    One little dude is enough

    Quoth on
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    skettiosskettios Enchanted ForestRegistered User regular
    edited July 2011
    Quoth wrote: »
    I am glad this thread is helping some people

    If anyone has any questions about stuff, I am down to answer

    Ask mully, I sugar coat nothing

    Like how after a c-section you basically don't poop for days, and when you do there's this horrible moment when you aren't sure if you can stretch enough to wipe your butt, and you wonder if you'll have to call your husband or a nurse to do it for you

    oh geez
    post baby popping out is tougher than I though!
    gogo quoth! and all the other mamas out there!

    skettios on
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    FAQFAQ Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    that baby has killed before

    FAQ on
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    HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    Quoth, has your son done the pee fountain yet while changing him?

    If not, wait.

    You will mess up on tired night and forget to cover him while doing a diaper change, and you will then receive the golden shower of parenthood. Then you will wipe it off, and yet still smell enough of urine to have your spouse make fun of you.

    Hunter on
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    Mortal SkyMortal Sky queer punk hedge witchRegistered User regular
    edited July 2011
    This is a pretty adorable kid, quoth.

    Mortal Sky on
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    Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    Hunter wrote: »
    Quoth, has your son done the pee fountain yet while changing him?

    If not, wait.

    You will mess up on tired night and forget to cover him while doing a diaper change, and you will then receive the golden shower of parenthood. Then you will wipe it off, and yet still smell enough of urine to have your spouse make fun of you.

    I thought this only happened in comedies about people taking care of babies who don't want to take care of babies!

    Centipede Damascus on
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    TankHammerTankHammer Atlanta Ghostbuster Atlanta, GARegistered User regular
    edited July 2011
    Hunter wrote: »
    Quoth, has your son done the pee fountain yet while changing him?

    If not, wait.

    You will mess up on tired night and forget to cover him while doing a diaper change, and you will then receive the golden shower of parenthood. Then you will wipe it off, and yet still smell enough of urine to have your spouse make fun of you.

    If you're particularly unlucky the stream will go directly into your mouth like the world's worst sports drink.

    TankHammer on
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    CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    heeeey quoth

    did they get your belly lined up right after teh c section?

    my sister had one a few years back and they didnt line the 2 pieces of skin back exactly right

    CrackedLens on
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    HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    Hunter wrote: »
    Quoth, has your son done the pee fountain yet while changing him?

    If not, wait.

    You will mess up on tired night and forget to cover him while doing a diaper change, and you will then receive the golden shower of parenthood. Then you will wipe it off, and yet still smell enough of urine to have your spouse make fun of you.

    I thought this only happened in comedies about people taking care of babies who don't want to take care of babies!

    Nope

    Something about cool air on the exposed peen equals golden stream of fire. That's why you cover the little guy with a towel, a new diaper, or even a wipe while working. If not, it's sprinkler time. My son hit the dry wall one time and it dribbled down the wall behind the changing table. That was fun to clean.

    Hunter on
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    CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    yeah its best to get that new diaper on asap when you are changing

    and for the love of god make sure to tuck it down

    otherwise it'll look like he's spurting pee out of his belly button

    CrackedLens on
    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
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    BeastehBeasteh THAT WOULD NOT KILL DRACULARegistered User regular
    edited July 2011
    i am dealing with a baby that has reflux, thrush and diarrhoeah

    there are

    so many fluids

    Beasteh on
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