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COMING THIS SUMMER: A BABY [UPDATE]

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    QuothQuoth the Raven Miami, FL FOR REALRegistered User regular
    edited July 2011
    i am going to get some kind of bedsore on my butt from constantly sitting or lying down on my back, ugh

    i have no doubt that this kid will get better at peeing on us... last night we were up until 3am and he basically was just alternating peeing and feeding and peeing and feeding, with short naps in between

    Quoth on
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    I'd Fuck Chuck Lidell UpI'd Fuck Chuck Lidell Up Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    Quoth wrote: »
    i am going to get some kind of bedsore on my butt from constantly sitting or lying down on my back, ugh

    If I still haven't you probably won't

    I'd Fuck Chuck Lidell Up on
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    nateknatek unh unh Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    soon he will reach peak efficiency and just start peeing while feeding

    natek on
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    GatsbyGatsby Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    natek wrote: »
    soon he will reach peak efficiency and just start peeing while feeding

    A peepetual motion machine.

    Gatsby on
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    QuothQuoth the Raven Miami, FL FOR REALRegistered User regular
    edited July 2011
    so, sleep

    that was a thing i used to do

    Quoth on
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    RaneadosRaneados police apologist you shouldn't have been there, obviouslyRegistered User regular
    edited July 2011
    quoth you KNEW that you weren't gonna sleep after you had a baby

    don't even pretend like you thought you were gonna get more than 3 hours a night

    Raneados on
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    HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    You will eventually learn to function, but it will be a shamble of your pre-baby self. You will nap whenever possible. There will be tears and occasional pleading for death.

    Then one magical night a few months from now, the baby will sleep through most of the night. It will feel fantastic, like magical chocolate covered sex.

    After that, one night the baby will sleep all night. You will not known how to handle this. It will blow your mind.

    Hunter on
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    QuothQuoth the Raven Miami, FL FOR REALRegistered User regular
    edited July 2011
    i had this partial delusion where i thought i would nap when the baby was napping

    it turns out that this doesn't happen because there are other things to do, like eat and entertain family members who want to stare at the baby

    Quoth on
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    Blake TBlake T Do you have enemies then? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    You are at least charging entry fees right Quoth.

    Making some money off this baby deal?

    Blake T on
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    HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    My wife and I worked it out that to survive and not break down into a Lord of the Flies scenario where we would kill each other, we each needed at least one stretch of 4 hours of sleep that was uninterrupted. We worked in shifts to achieve this each night. It helped that she was pumping so she didn't have to be awake for my son to eat.

    It was hell though. Don't listen to people that sugar coat it. They're not telling the truth to prevent you from snapping like a dry twig and climbing a bell tower with a high powered rifle. It gets better though in 4 to 6 months.

    Hunter on
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    PeenPeen Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    Just to echo Hunter, it really is amazing how nobody tells you just how bad the sleep deprivation is. We did the shift thing too and it made it sorta ok; she was on leave so she'd sleep first, going down around 8, and I'd stay up until 12 and then we'd switch. It's awful but again, it gets better soon and honestly you don't even remember the worst of it. Infants are specifically designed to make you forget how terrible they are so you end up wanting to have more because everything from 1-3 months is coated in sleep deprived haze.

    Peen on
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    BeastehBeasteh THAT WOULD NOT KILL DRACULARegistered User regular
    edited July 2011
    my cousin had crazy post natal depression, be very vigilant for the signs and dont be afraid to call for help if necessary (i have travelled to belgium to help her 3 times since her daughter was born last november)

    the depression + total sleep deprivation caused her to have a shrieking meltdown and throw a chair at me for literally no reason, and she loves me so

    Beasteh on
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    MizuumiMizuumi pet dog you've been eating my video game how could you eat my video gameRegistered User regular
    edited July 2011
    Gatsby wrote: »
    We still suggesting books for kids? Because once my hypothetical future children reach a certain age I am definitely reading this to them.

    TheGraveyardBook_Hardcover_1218248432.jpg

    yes do this

    Mizuumi on
    ducklett.gif
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    QuothQuoth the Raven Miami, FL FOR REALRegistered User regular
    edited July 2011
    after several nights of basically one hour of sleep, last night i somehow managed to get him to sleep for two hours in a row

    if only i could remember what i did

    Quoth on
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    LanglyLangly Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    Mizuumi wrote: »
    Gatsby wrote: »
    We still suggesting books for kids? Because once my hypothetical future children reach a certain age I am definitely reading this to them.

    TheGraveyardBook_Hardcover_1218248432.jpg

    yes do this

    ENVY ME (my son, really)
    269590_10100239618394885_27415899_49565225_3404412_n.jpg

    Langly on
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    CognisseurCognisseur Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    One hour of sleep? Babies do not sound like fun.

    Although, come to think of it, Minecraft has definitely kept me up that long before too.

    Does the baby come with diamonds? Otherwise it's no contest.

    Cognisseur on
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    LanglyLangly Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    We had Henry sleep in our bed with us, and that +nursing at night got him basically to sleep through the entire night almost immediately.

    Now, of course, he is almost 11 months and we are still working on cribbing him at night, but really, having him in there has not been awful.

    Plus, sleep.

    Langly on
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    bwaniebwanie Posting into the void Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    aww quoth, you got a cryer?

    bwanie on
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    CognisseurCognisseur Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    Langly wrote: »
    We had Henry sleep in our bed with us, and that +nursing at night got him basically to sleep through the entire night almost immediately.

    Now, of course, he is almost 11 months and we are still working on cribbing him at night, but really, having him in there has not been awful.

    Plus, sleep.

    But like, does neither of you ever roll over on the baby? Cuz my girlfriend thrashes about when sleeping at times and has been known to kick me awake accidentally. I imagine a baby would not appreciate being punted.

    Cognisseur on
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    bwaniebwanie Posting into the void Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    usually the subconscious will remind her that there's a baby next to her.

    my wife always moves about when she sleeps, but if the baby's there she doesn't move an inch. onetime, she fell asleep with the baby on top of her.

    really weird.

    bwanie on
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    QuothQuoth the Raven Miami, FL FOR REALRegistered User regular
    edited July 2011
    he's great during the day, he just will not do more than nap at night

    as soon as i try to put him in his bed, he wakes back up and starts howling

    Quoth on
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    CognisseurCognisseur Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    Maybe your baby was replaced with a wolf. Wolves don't sleep all night and they howl. I heard baby-switching happens at hospitals more often than people think.

    Cognisseur on
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    Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    nah it's obviously a changeling baby

    touch him with some cold iron and see what happens

    Centipede Damascus on
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    HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    Quoth wrote: »
    he's great during the day, he just will not do more than nap at night

    as soon as i try to put him in his bed, he wakes back up and starts howling

    My son did that and what we found worked the best was wear a shirt for 2 or 3 nights. Sleep in it, and get it all smelling like you or your husband. Then place the shirt in the crib or even rig a blanket or neck pillow out of it.

    Sound can work too (the old ticking clock trick for new puppies can work with babies as well). It's supposed to mimic a heartbeat. But for whatever reason, my son would fall asleep and stay asleep when snuggled into a little blanket or outfit that smelled like me or my wife.

    Granted it was like 2 1/2 to 3 hours tops, but enough to get some sleep ourselves and a bit of sanity back.

    If that doesn't work, I suggest narcotics. For you or the baby...you know, whatever.

    Hunter on
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    QuothQuoth the Raven Miami, FL FOR REALRegistered User regular
    edited July 2011
    if i touch him with cold anything he'll cry

    cold iron, cold hands, a cold leg of mutton

    Quoth on
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    Indie WinterIndie Winter die Krähe Rudi Hurzlmeier (German, b. 1952)Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    according to my parents what worked with me was car rides

    you take the baby for a ride in the car, he falls asleep quick as a wink

    then you either try and bring him back in or catch a quick nap in the car as well

    soft music playing on the radio, also good

    besides that the shirt thing sounds pretty reasonable

    Indie Winter on
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    LanglyLangly Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    Cognisseur wrote: »
    Langly wrote: »
    We had Henry sleep in our bed with us, and that +nursing at night got him basically to sleep through the entire night almost immediately.

    Now, of course, he is almost 11 months and we are still working on cribbing him at night, but really, having him in there has not been awful.

    Plus, sleep.

    But like, does neither of you ever roll over on the baby? Cuz my girlfriend thrashes about when sleeping at times and has been known to kick me awake accidentally. I imagine a baby would not appreciate being punted.

    at first, we created a little nest thing for them and had the bed against a wall so that wasn't possible, now, along with the subconcious stuff, he is big enough were it is not a problem.

    him kicking us, though, is.

    Langly on
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    QuothQuoth the Raven Miami, FL FOR REALRegistered User regular
    edited July 2011
    baby: WAAAH
    me: see if he peed or pooped
    mom: no, he's fine
    me: okay, maybe he's hungry
    ...
    me: uh, he peed AND pooped
    mom: whoops.jpg

    Quoth on
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    bwaniebwanie Posting into the void Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    indiewinter, if you had to be taken for carrides you were an outright disaster :p

    anyway, quoth, you still feed every four hours right?

    we literally had to wake Puk to feed her, and after nursing she would usually fall asleep before we put her in the crib besides us.

    bwanie on
    Yh6tI4T.jpg
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    HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    I didn't even have to give my kid a car ride, he'd fall asleep in the little car seat that snapped into the base in the car.

    Later we found out it was due to him having a bit of acid reflux and the position he was in while sitting in the car seat used gravity to keep his vlurps to a minimum.

    Hunter on
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    QuothQuoth the Raven Miami, FL FOR REALRegistered User regular
    edited July 2011
    he actually eats every hour and a half or so, sometimes as long as three hours but rarely over two

    my boobs are probably slow leakers or something

    he also tends to fall asleep during the feed, i keep having to wake him up after five minutes

    he just started spitting up a bunch... maybe he has reflux, too

    i'll try putting him in his car seat tonight, good idea

    Quoth on
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    QuothQuoth the Raven Miami, FL FOR REALRegistered User regular
    edited July 2011
    cord stump just fell off

    eww

    Quoth on
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    TiBTiB Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    I hate moms who tape the cord stump into a scrapbook.

    I mean come on

    TiB on
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    HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    Cord stump is delicious in stews.

    Hunter on
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    CrossBusterCrossBuster Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    Hunter wrote: »
    Cord stump is delicious in stews.

    A tasty way to get your recommended daily allowance of stem cells.

    CrossBuster on
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    Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    no no, you put the cord stump in a leather pouch that he can carry around for luck

    Centipede Damascus on
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    bwaniebwanie Posting into the void Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    cord stump jerky is where it's at.

    makes it last to boot.

    bwanie on
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    Donovan PuppyfuckerDonovan Puppyfucker A dagger in the dark is worth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered User regular
    edited July 2011
    Isn't it already kinda jerky-ish?

    Donovan Puppyfucker on
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    bwaniebwanie Posting into the void Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    exactly

    bwanie on
    Yh6tI4T.jpg
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    QuothQuoth the Raven Miami, FL FOR REALRegistered User regular
    edited July 2011
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