Which is more important

Staleghoti

In your personal support network which do you find more important, your friends, or your family, or something else?

This is just something that has been on my mind lately, been evaluating my life so to speak. I was just curious as to what people found more important, for comparison purposes.

Personally, I think my friends have been more important to me in the past, mainly cause my family has been split up since I was 12, and my sister has been dead since I was 14, which really did a number on my mom, so I've never really been able to open up to family members.

Spookymikal

friends.

although my family does put the "fun" in "dysfunctional"

MiracleManS

I'm more of a guy who hates people and family when it comes to support.

Gimme a book or music.

Slungsolow

I'm a fan of the "feel better blowjob", so I usually depend on my sisters.

ascot

my friends are all too self absorbed.

my family don't "get" it.

I'll do nicely on my own thanks.

Larlar

Psychotropic drugs.

lostwords

joke answer: my penis


semi-serious answer: my family, most definitely. As much as they give me headaches at times, I would be lost without their support and love. The few times I get to spend with the whole family, with cousins, crazy uncles, and deadbeat aunts (since most are still in the Philippines) are the best times of my life.

Brolo

Honestly my friends have a bigger impact on me emotionally, although my family is closer. My family I'm so used to that I don't really notice them all that much, and I can't make conscious decisions regarding them.

Staleghoti

Larlar wrote:

Psychotropic drugs.

which you never share

ShimSham

For me, it's always been kind of both, just different kinds of support.

I won't lie, my parents are awesome people. I'm incredibly thankful that they are the way they are, but I've never been close to them in the way like I would just tell them anything and talk to them about real personal matters. But they've always been awesome and helped me, taught me a ton of stuff, bailed me out when things really went south, and have always "been there for me"

then there's Ms. Shim who, among other things, acts as my emotional support and has for like the past 5-6 years even before we started dating. I don't remember what that sort of support was like before then really.

Then I have my 3 best friends I've known for years whom I know I can count on but have never really been in a situation where I've had to, not for anything serious at least.

Monkeybomb

Yeah, I'm pretty much like you, Stalefish.

Parents divorced when I was in high school and being an only child, I was bounced around between them during their battles. To this day they still try to use me as a pawn in their games sometimes. I'm 29.

This is why I don't talk to either of them very much. Haven't spoken two words to my dad in over two years now. I'm doing much better with my mom and recently had to help her through her dad's death. He was a good man and we all miss him, so it was probably something that will help our relationship.

That said, my long-time girlfriend is my best support, followed by friends.

sark

my family are nutty neo-cons.

most of my friends have de-evolved into brainless, superficial yuppies.

i find solace in $2 drink specials.

seconal

MiracleManS wrote:

I'm more of a guy who hates people and family when it comes to support.

Gimme a book or music.

More or less the same for me. My friends aren't really the buddy types that you talk about shit with. You just go out and have fun now and then.

I do well just dealing with crap myself. Although, I haven't really been challenged by a death or something with that weight. So I could be completely wrong about all this.

TankHammer

When I was younger, so much younger than today,
I never needed anybody's help in any way.
But now these days are gone, I'm not so self assured,
Now I find I've changed my mind and opened up the doors.

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
And I do appreciate you being round.
Help me, get my feet back on the ground,
Won't you please, please help me?

And now my life has changed in oh so many ways,
My independence seems to vanish in the haze.
But every now and then I feel so insecure,
I know that I just need you like I've never done before.

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
And I do appreciate you being round.
Help me, get my feet back on the ground,
Won't you please, please help me.

When I was younger, so much younger than today,
I never needed anybody's help in any way.
But now these days are gone, I'm not so self assured,
Now I find I've changed my mind and opened up the doors.

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
And I do appreciate you being round.
Help me, get my feet back on the ground,
Won't you please, please help me, help me, help me, oh.

naporeon

It's actually a toss-up for me. Although this may be too sincere for SE++, I've always been very close to my Mom and Sister, and they are both very supportive when needed. Both are pretty open-minded, and wouldn't judge me, no matter what my problem was. Of my friends, I would say that only my closest friend is someone I'd trust if shit went seriously pear-shaped. Once, following a train-wreck of a breakup, he spent several hours with me...both the day immediately before, and the day immediately after the birth of his first child.

So, for me, the answer is both.

Akilae729

Depends on where I am

down here in LA its my friends cause they end up being like my family.

And i say my family when i'm back home, but i usually end up spending all my time with my girlfriend

Larlar

Staleghoti wrote:

Larlar wrote:

Psychotropic drugs.

which you never share

Hey, you picked family and/or friends. I'll share after you kill them all and need the drugs as a contingency support.

Staleghoti

ShimSham wrote:

For me, it's always been kind of both, just different kinds of support.

I won't lie, my parents are awesome people. I'm incredibly thankful that they are the way they are, but I've never been close to them in the way like I would just tell them anything and talk to them about real personal matters. But they've always been awesome and helped me, taught me a ton of stuff, bailed me out when things really went south, and have always "been there for me"

This is true for me as well

even though they can't really supposrt me emotionally, they certainly have saved my ass financially

potatoe

as of late?
alcohol with a side of video games

before that?
girlfriend

before that?
video games

Rankenphile

I used to think it was friends, until the shit really started to hit the fan. That's when you start finding out who your real friends are, and which ones bail on you at the first sign of real trouble. My family, though, was always there for me when I really, really needed some help.

So I'd have to say the internet.

Akilae729

Rankenphile wrote:

I used to think it was friends, until the shit really started to hit the fan. That's when you start finding out who your real friends are, and which ones bail on you at the first sign of real trouble. My family, though, was always there for me when I really, really needed some help.

So I'd have to say the internet.

When I read "The internet" i could have sworn your avatar smiled

creeeeeepy

Rankenphile

Akilae729 wrote:

Rankenphile wrote:

I used to think it was friends, until the shit really started to hit the fan. That's when you start finding out who your real friends are, and which ones bail on you at the first sign of real trouble. My family, though, was always there for me when I really, really needed some help.

So I'd have to say the internet.

When I read "The internet" i could have sworn your avatar smiled

creeeeeepy

He can see you when you pee.

potatoe

Akilae729 wrote:

Rankenphile wrote:

I used to think it was friends, until the shit really started to hit the fan. That's when you start finding out who your real friends are, and which ones bail on you at the first sign of real trouble. My family, though, was always there for me when I really, really needed some help.

So I'd have to say the internet.

When I read "The internet" i could have sworn your avatar smiled

creeeeeepy

it does smirk every so often

Spookymikal

so all you people with shitty friends...

why not make new friends?

naporeon

Rank's avatar is in your ceiling, watching you masturbate.

seconal

Spookymikal wrote:

so all you people with shitty friends...

why not make new friends?

Working on it.

ToadTheMushroom

OR have shitty families.

Grow new relatives.

potatoe

Spookymikal wrote:

so all you people with shitty friends...

why not make new friends?

because i lost 90% of my friends due to a major change 2.5 years through my college career (some friends...eh?), and now my main option is to force myself into already established elitist cliques.
it's a slow process

naporeon

potatoe wrote:

Spookymikal wrote:

so all you people with shitty friends...

why not make new friends?

because i lost 90% of my friends due to a major change 2.5 years through my college career (some friends...eh?), and now my main option is to force myself into already established elitist cliques.
it's a slow process

Elitist cliques?

Do you live in Victorian England?

Callius

My family are all emotionally vapid and self-absorbed (myself included).

My friends are all drama filled and fickle.

So, really, I dunno. My Girlfriend is the most family I've had in a long time, really.

Butters

whisky

babyeatingjesus

man, after I was like 15 I had my friends for support.

I mean, my mom is all "you're my special boy" no matter what, and that makes me feel better and all, but my friends will help me get through the tough stuff by helping either solve problems or put the past in the past.

That being said I don't think I've really needed either for like, 7 or 8 years.

Bad things very very rarely ever happen to me.

potatoe

naporeon wrote:

potatoe wrote:

Spookymikal wrote:

so all you people with shitty friends...

why not make new friends?

because i lost 90% of my friends due to a major change 2.5 years through my college career (some friends...eh?), and now my main option is to force myself into already established elitist cliques.
it's a slow process

Elitist cliques?

Do you live in Victorian England?

nope, i'm a CS major that doesn't play WoW :roll:

Jennifer

Staleghoti wrote:

In your personal support network which do you find more important, your friends, or your family, or something else?

My mom, then everyone else. When I was like 14 I was up at a family reunion. I went with my grandmother. Mom, dad, brother could not go. My grandfather who was allergic to bees got stung in the neck and died. When I found out, all I wanted was my mother. Even with all that family around, I wanted her and no one else. I was pretty much a basket case untill they drove all night through two states to get to the where we were.

Callius

Don't get me wrong, I have some great friends that would be there for me at the drop of a hat.

But, still... ugh, I'm so tired of their drama.

Monkeybomb

A big part of my support network currently is season 4 of DS9. Bald Sisko makes everything better.

naporeon

Callius wrote:

Don't get me wrong, I have some great friends that would be there for me at the drop of a hat.

But, still... ugh, I'm so tired of their drama.

So basically what you're saying is that you're not there for them?

Rankenphile

Monkeybomb wrote:

A big part of my support network currently is season 4 of DS9. Bald Sisko makes everything better.

I was the same way with TNG for a while there.

Any episode where Riker has a beard is a good one. They could be on the fucking lost planet of Cotton Candy Conspirator Cobras for all I fucking cared, as long as I didn't have to stare at his obnoxious smug little butt chin.

Spookymikal

potatoe wrote:

Spookymikal wrote:

so all you people with shitty friends...

why not make new friends?

because i lost 90% of my friends due to a major change 2.5 years through my college career (some friends...eh?), and now my main option is to force myself into already established elitist cliques.
it's a slow process

worst idea evar.

better idea: slowly syphon off the coolest members of these elitest groups until you form your own voltron like supergroup.

J. Grant

Having fun and enjoying life.

Callius

naporeon wrote:

Callius wrote:

Don't get me wrong, I have some great friends that would be there for me at the drop of a hat.

But, still... ugh, I'm so tired of their drama.

So basically what you're saying is that you're not there for them?

Man, I'm the fucker whose couch they always crash on when they decide "oh, maybe being a prostitute ISN'T a good career choice."

I'm talking stupid drama. Like "my ex-girlfriend stole a ziplock bag of my spices so I made fun of her, now she's banned me from her apartment." type bullshit drama. Or "I said I'd come over but then there was some miscommunication and you thought I wouldn't be coming over if there weren't drugs but we've gotten that out of the way but I am not coming over because I'm afraid that you're mad at me for not coming over"

Middle school bullshit.