I'm ready, man, check it out. I am the ultimate badass! State of the badass art! You do NOT wanna fuck with me. Check it out! Hey Singapore, don't worry. Me and my squad of ultimate badasses will protect you! Check it out! Independently targeting gauss pistols. Vwap! Fry half a city with this puppy. We got tactical smart weapons platforms, phase-plasma pulse grenades, hot lobster butter, we got sonic electronic ball breakers! We got nukes, we got thermal tasers, sharp sticks...
Welp. 9 dudes to go before it becomes my turn to join up. I'm actually curious if it's going to end up being 2 horrible horrible matches, or (more likely if the current trend holds up) half a dozen or more deployments. I'd heard that TFTD was horribly difficult, so this probably means that chiasaur is doing very well.
Rhan9 on
0
chiasaur11Never doubt a raccoon.Do you think it's trademarked?Registered Userregular
edited February 2011
Mission debriefing: Mr. Mojo
Command: So, I trust you understand the severity of the situation you left us in.
Mr. Mojo: Look. I said I was sorry.
Command: We are down to three power cells for our primary weapon systems. I barely managed to talk the ambassador into continuing our funding. We're nearing bankruptcy. Sorry seems a bit less than the situation warrants.
Mr. Mojo: Fine. I'll be more careful the next time the LZ has three fucking hostiles right by the doors.
chiasaur11Never doubt a raccoon.Do you think it's trademarked?Registered Userregular
edited February 2011
Mr. Mojo: So then I try to shoot the thing out of the sky.
Mr. Mojo: Got a couple rounds to the chest for my trouble. These things are damn fast. Well, hurt but I wasn't bleeding, so Campion was rallying the rookies. You know, saying that we could take them,
Mr. Mojo: Which is when I noticed the shots had gone through the damn tank first.
Unless we start recruiting rookies in bulk, I fear I will never see the front lines. Also, why the hell do you not have a big mass of disposable rookies standing-by at base? Playing UFO on Superhuman has taught me the essentiality of this. What if the base had been raided while you had only 5 active dudes? Game over man, game over, that's what!
chiasaur11Never doubt a raccoon.Do you think it's trademarked?Registered Userregular
edited February 2011
Command: And then?
Mr. Mojo: We were dealing with an inhumanly fast combat drone that could shred the tank in the time it took us to notice it was firing. What do you think we did?
Command: I have a guess.
Mr. Mojo: So, can I go?
Command: With a warning. I expect better from an officer.
Mr. Mojo: Wait. Officer?
Command: Bunch of rooks coming in. We need someone to keep them in line. You've killed more hostiles than most, which makes you suited to filling in for the injured. Understood?
So, It's safe for me to climb out from under the bed then?
Rank got a promotion too, so you might want to stay under the bed for a while longer.
And the curling into the fetal position and sobbing silently thing you've been doing for the past few hours? Don't stop.
I hope hoping to throw my life away, but i guess living works too.
Next mission though, oh boy.
Melding on
0
chiasaur11Never doubt a raccoon.Do you think it's trademarked?Registered Userregular
edited February 2011
X-Com Aquatic Division Status Update:
Well, it could be going worse.
Scratch that. Director, it will be going worse. The aliens are setting up a communications network, presumably to contact the main force. The going to kill us all without the aid of their technologically superior brethren main force, and we haven't even found the first site.
And that would be our situation assuming we'd been operating perfectly, no losses, no mistakes.
We have made mistakes.
We have three sonic rifle clips, the remainder being lost or destroyed. Our funding is dropping, due in part to our complete failure in defending civilian population centers. Our encounters with the latest alien bioweapons have resulted in over 50% casualties for a small craft recovery.
And that ignores the little fact half the personnel on site seem to be slowly going insane. Not harmless insane. Lovecraft protagonist insane.
I attached my last will and testament, just to be safe.
It would feel right to conclude this with a warning, something about things man was not meant to know. But we have to learn. We have to adapt. Otherwise, we're all dead.
Forgive the pessimism. I thought I signed on for salvage and investigation. It turned out this was a slow shambling slide into hell. Still having trouble adjusting.
We can do this, Rank is still alive, and I'm still alive. Let me get out there and show these suckers whose boss. Put me in coach. I'm ready to play in the big leagues.
Well, at least we're "Lovecraft protagonist insane," and not 'Lovecraft antagonist insane."
Bursar on
GNU Terry Pratchett
PSN: Wstfgl | GamerTag: An Evil Plan | Battle.net: FallenIdle#1970
Hit me up on BoardGameArena! User: Loaded D1
0
Caulk Bite 6One of the multitude of Dans infesting this placeRegistered Userregular
edited February 2011
I find that good liquor helps to sedate the voices. Would the Director care to join my nightly "therapy sessions" in the labs? We can even compare notes on plans for escape from this hell pit.
Well, at least we're "Lovecraft protagonist insane," and not 'Lovecraft antagonist insane."
They're roughly the same thing.
Not really. The Lovecraftian antagonist wants to unleash the unspeakable horrors lurking amongst the cold stars or in the dark depths of the oceans. Lovecraftian protagonists, on the other hand, usually aren't quite so keen to destroy human civilisation.
Also, I am happy to report that I am as mentally stable as I have ever been.
WotanAnubis on
0
Caulk Bite 6One of the multitude of Dans infesting this placeRegistered Userregular
Well, at least we're "Lovecraft protagonist insane," and not 'Lovecraft antagonist insane."
They're roughly the same thing.
Not really. The Lovecraftian antagonist wants to unleash the unspeakable horrors lurking amongst the cold stars or in the dark depths of the oceans. Lovecraftian protagonists, on the other hand, usually aren't quite so keen to destroy human civilisation.
Also, I am happy to report that I am as mentally stable as I have ever been.
Well, at least we're "Lovecraft protagonist insane," and not 'Lovecraft antagonist insane."
They're roughly the same thing.
Not really. The Lovecraftian antagonist wants to unleash the unspeakable horrors lurking amongst the cold stars or in the dark depths of the oceans. Lovecraftian protagonists, on the other hand, usually aren't quite so keen to destroy human civilisation.
Also, I am happy to report that I am as mentally stable as I have ever been.
Well, when you're at the bottom, there's only one way to go. Up.
Unfortunately the environment is hardly conducive for that. The good thing is that you can hardly go lower.
Well, at least we're "Lovecraft protagonist insane," and not 'Lovecraft antagonist insane."
They're roughly the same thing.
Not really. The Lovecraftian antagonist wants to unleash the unspeakable horrors lurking amongst the cold stars or in the dark depths of the oceans. Lovecraftian protagonists, on the other hand, usually aren't quite so keen to destroy human civilisation.
Also, I am happy to report that I am as mentally stable as I have ever been.
Well, when you're at the bottom, there's only one way to go. Up.
Unfortunately the environment is hardly conducive for that. The good thing is that you can hardly go lower.
I'm reasonably sure our base isn't situated inside the Mariana Trench. So there's still quite a bit of down for us to go. Potentially, of course.
Posts
Just so long as the tank is a wise cracking sarcastic bastard.
With the Tofystedeth HWP out of commission the Prophet system will have to fullfil that role.
*guffaw*
Handmade Jewelry by me on EtsyGames for sale
Me on Twitch!
I won't be out for long, just long enough for a 3-deep line of rookies to stand behind have been recruited.
Command: So, I trust you understand the severity of the situation you left us in.
Mr. Mojo: Look. I said I was sorry.
Command: We are down to three power cells for our primary weapon systems. I barely managed to talk the ambassador into continuing our funding. We're nearing bankruptcy. Sorry seems a bit less than the situation warrants.
Mr. Mojo: Fine. I'll be more careful the next time the LZ has three fucking hostiles right by the doors.
Why I fear the ocean.
Steam: Elvenshae // PSN: Elvenshae // WotC: Elvenshae
Wilds of Aladrion: [https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/comment/43159014/#Comment_43159014]Ellandryn[/url]
Command: Lobstermen again.
Mr. Mojo: Yes. A small scout killed half of us last time, so I think a few mistakes are forgivable.
Mr. Mojo: And they brought friends. Don't know what those things were. Don't care to find out.
Why I fear the ocean.
Mr. Mojo: Got a couple rounds to the chest for my trouble. These things are damn fast. Well, hurt but I wasn't bleeding, so Campion was rallying the rookies. You know, saying that we could take them,
Mr. Mojo: Which is when I noticed the shots had gone through the damn tank first.
Why I fear the ocean.
Also, morale boost time.
Sorry, that's all I've got. You're all boned.
Steam: CavilatRest
Your avatar is a pretty good guess.
Steam: CavilatRest
How does it feel to have objectives that are mutually exclusive?
Mr. Mojo: We were dealing with an inhumanly fast combat drone that could shred the tank in the time it took us to notice it was firing. What do you think we did?
Command: I have a guess.
Mr. Mojo: So, can I go?
Command: With a warning. I expect better from an officer.
Mr. Mojo: Wait. Officer?
Command: Bunch of rooks coming in. We need someone to keep them in line. You've killed more hostiles than most, which makes you suited to filling in for the injured. Understood?
Mr. Mojo: Uh, for the moment, sure.
Command: Good. Dismissed.
Why I fear the ocean.
Rank got a promotion too, so you might want to stay under the bed for a while longer.
And the curling into the fetal position and sobbing silently thing you've been doing for the past few hours? Don't stop.
Rank likes the tears.
I was not disappointed.
Next mission though, oh boy.
Well, it could be going worse.
Scratch that. Director, it will be going worse. The aliens are setting up a communications network, presumably to contact the main force. The going to kill us all without the aid of their technologically superior brethren main force, and we haven't even found the first site.
And that would be our situation assuming we'd been operating perfectly, no losses, no mistakes.
We have made mistakes.
We have three sonic rifle clips, the remainder being lost or destroyed. Our funding is dropping, due in part to our complete failure in defending civilian population centers. Our encounters with the latest alien bioweapons have resulted in over 50% casualties for a small craft recovery.
And that ignores the little fact half the personnel on site seem to be slowly going insane. Not harmless insane. Lovecraft protagonist insane.
I attached my last will and testament, just to be safe.
It would feel right to conclude this with a warning, something about things man was not meant to know. But we have to learn. We have to adapt. Otherwise, we're all dead.
Forgive the pessimism. I thought I signed on for salvage and investigation. It turned out this was a slow shambling slide into hell. Still having trouble adjusting.
Sincerely
Chiasaur11
Director, X-Com Aquatic Division
Why I fear the ocean.
We can do this, Rank is still alive, and I'm still alive. Let me get out there and show these suckers whose boss. Put me in coach. I'm ready to play in the big leagues.
PSN: Wstfgl | GamerTag: An Evil Plan | Battle.net: FallenIdle#1970
Hit me up on BoardGameArena! User: Loaded D1
They're roughly the same thing.
Also, I am happy to report that I am as mentally stable as I have ever been.
Which really isn't saying too much.
There's no shame in losing a TftD game after all.
Well, when you're at the bottom, there's only one way to go. Up.
Unfortunately the environment is hardly conducive for that. The good thing is that you can hardly go lower.