Now if you'll excuse me, I have alliance paper work to do.
It is a handgun, and it just happens to be more powerful than anything developed solely by human ingenuity in the world thus far. The fact that you're not man enough to use it to it's full potential is no reason to be rude to the man making and co-opting weapons of mass destruction for you troopers.
the previous one... um... Let's say he took up religion.
I assume that's the more colorful term for what I call "accident prevention."
depends on how you define "prevention"
My definitions change depending on the mission circumstances. Typically, my actions swing between "slap on the shoulder" and "extermination of potential threat."
Nerivant on
[REDACTED]
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chiasaur11Never doubt a raccoon.Do you think it's trademarked?Registered Userregular
edited March 2011
X-Com Science Report
They call. Their calls echo.
They call.
"Hail the sleeper."
But we are deaf to the truth.
We hear the echoes. We can hear the words. We must hear the words.
It is beautiful. It will play the song.
The brothers of the sleeper feared the song. They abandoned the song. They would silence the song.
chiasaur11Never doubt a raccoon.Do you think it's trademarked?Registered Userregular
edited March 2011
X-Com Finance report:
We're dying on our feet, sir, and no mistake. Independent work is keeping us floating (the contract for the motion scanners alone makes a few million a month) but operating expenses are outstripping that. Easily.
And from the comms I've been able to pick up, it sounds like we're getting cuts every month no matter what we do.
Fuck up, and we're failing to protect humanity. Well, heh. More like we're failing to protect corporate interests, considering some of the funders. Shipping trade failing thanks to attacks, decreased tourism thanks to "gas leaks" "radiation exposure" and the other cover stories for our more impressive failures, you get the idea. It doesn't leave people in the best mood to hand us unmarked suitcases full of bills.
Succeed, and everyone remembers it's a minor matter really, just a few ships a month, and those psychopaths have it under control already. Why give them more money to commit atrocities?
Do you drink? If not, I have your application for whatever religious position you want all filled out, because that's a miracle.
If we got a good fiscal plan, pass it on. Until then, I'll do what I can.
subcontract the easier missions out to a start up business or, sell the most devastating weapons on the open market. the Gauss cannon would likely bring in some money on the black market.
I'm wondering how long I can stuff my reports with mad, gibbering cultist-speak before someone from security starts to wonder if maybe certain parts of X-COM might be compromised.
We hear the echoes. We can hear the words. We must hear the words.
It is beautiful. It will play the song.
The brothers of the sleeper feared the song. They abandoned the song. They would silence the song.
We cannot let them silence it.
There has been joy. There will be joy again
Dr. WotanAnubis
X-Com xenobiology department.
Pfft, all the cool kids have been hearing the song for weeks now. Maybe you're not part of the sleeper's plan, ever think about that? Maybe you're not supposed to be hearing his decrees? It'll be nice to be able to record them though, so I can play them back whenever I want. Sometimes the voices stop, and that's beginning to worry me.
Mr Ray on
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chiasaur11Never doubt a raccoon.Do you think it's trademarked?Registered Userregular
edited March 2011
X-Com Science team report
*whistling*
Ah, director. Still having trouble getting properly drunk?
All the alcohol in this base tastes like urine. Which makes me wonder, Doctor, why you're so damned chipper.
Ah. Sonic pistol operation? Could be useful. High powered sidearms for scouts. Very high powered. That's easily a match for a plasma rifle in raw power. Good work.
That's nothing. Trash.
A pistol that can liquefy the internals of a tank in one shot is trash? I'm assuming you have something in mind as an alternative.
*extended pause*
That's...
Oh, we're still working on powering it. The prototype for field work is hooked up to the generator. Causes a rolling brownout every time it's fired. But progress is being made.
How powerful are we talking?
It can punch through alien alloy. Multiple layers, even. It doesn't have the punch of a blaster bomb or the Davy Crockett, but short of those this is the most powerful infantry weapon ever deployed.
Good work. Dismissed. May God have mercy on us all.
Um... Just where is all this weapons testing going on? Not indoors, I hope. I like the walls intact, what with the Abyssopelagic crushing depths and all.
Bursar on
GNU Terry Pratchett
PSN: Wstfgl | GamerTag: An Evil Plan | Battle.net: FallenIdle#1970
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Caulk Bite 6One of the multitude of Dans infesting this placeRegistered Userregular
edited March 2011
we have a special chamber, dug right into the bedrock below the base, that serves all our weapons testing needs.
Mind you, the cannon is showing a tendency to set off slight tectonic shifts in the local region, but it's no reason for alarm, I assure you.
The M-28 or M-29 (Finned Underwater) Davy Crockett Weapon System(s) was a tactical nuclear recoilless gun for firing the M388 nuclear projectile that was deployed by the Extraterrestrial Combat Unit (X-COM) during the First and Second Interstellar Wars. Named after American soldier, congressman and folk hero Davy Crockett, it was one of the smallest nuclear weapon systems ever built.
Mainly used for breaching airlock doors in alien spacecrafts both above and below the sea, the Davey Crockett Weapons Platform was affectionately nicknamed "The Doorbell" by X-Com recruits.
The M-28 or M-29 (Finned Underwater) Davy Crockett Weapon System(s) was a tactical nuclear recoilless gun for firing the M388 nuclear projectile that was deployed by the Extraterrestrial Combat Unit (X-COM) during the First and Second Interstellar Wars. Named after American soldier, congressman and folk hero Davy Crockett, it was one of the smallest nuclear weapon systems ever built.
Mainly used for breaching airlock doors in alien spacecrafts both above and below the sea, the Davey Crockett Weapons Platform was affectionately nicknamed "The Doorbell" by X-Com recruits.
Gotta love the fact that it's blast radius was greater than it's firing range...
As for the Ghostbusters, are you talking about the time they went to New Orleans and faced down a jazz musician?
The MC testers use insubordinate agents to practice on.
Speaking of which, isn't Rank still a MC tester?
Yeah, insubordination is a fate worse than a fate worse than death.
Nerivant on
[REDACTED]
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chiasaur11Never doubt a raccoon.Do you think it's trademarked?Registered Userregular
edited March 2011
Results: X-Com Mental Expansion Program, first trial. Transcripts classified Cosmic Top Secret
Doctor? Preliminary results are in.
More meltdowns and sobbing? Please tell me you took video this time. Campion's breakdown was entertaining, but seeing it just once feels a disservice.
No, as a matter of fact. All of the remaining subjects managed to maintain composure. Further, 60% of the initial subjects were subjected to advanced mental pressure with no negative repercussions. This may work. I appologize for calling it another First Earth Battalion.
Oh, it was.
Doctor?
It was an elaborate joke. Something to make our last hours more entertaining. I didn't expect anyone to be able to resist the signals, let alone control the test subjects. But I suppose that some of the subjects were more composed than I gave them credit for. I was starting to think you, the director, and I were the only sane people here.
I suppose so. Do you want the candidates with the most potential?
Why not?
Well, Nocren tested well.
Unsurprising, I suppose. Anyone who can maintain theories of his own invincibility in the face of the current scenario would have an unshakable ego.
Mojo.
Who could tell? He wets himself without outside provocation. Healthy self preservation instinct.
VirgilLeadsYou and RabidDeathMoose
Who?
The new meat. They helped with the ordinance tests? As targets.
Right. Enthusiastic, if I recall. Very hard to hit.
Raneados
Ah, the one stable member of the officer corps. Not entirely a surprise.
And Rankenfile.
God help us all. What have I done? I'll... pass the results to the director.
I've been down in that base for ages and haven't heard any 'sleeper' telling me to 'cleanse the base' and 'set fire to all humans'. Evidently this means I have the greatest M.C. strength and you should totally sign me up for it.
Hey, Those results say that I'm the weak link, but that's not what the voices told me.
Clearly, these voices are your friends, and you should pay close attention to what they say.
Just... before you act on their advice, let me know just a little in advance. You know, so I can help your friendly voices out.
Certainly not so I can duck for cover from your inevitable mind controlled killing spree, or run for Papa Rankenfile to protect me.
(In some situations, it's better the depraved psychotic murder-rapist you know...)
see317 on
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Iron WeaselDillon!You son of a bitch!Registered Userregular
edited March 2011
Damn, Virgil has a huge brain.
Iron Weasel on
Currently Playing:
The Division, Warframe (XB1)
GT: Tanith 6227
Hey, Those results say that I'm the weak link, but that's not what the voices told me.
Well congratulations, you're going to be the guy who they bring in with no weapons, strapped into a bodyboard. The aliens always target the weakest mind first so you will be a sacrificial lamb - the first to be driven insane so that the rest of the team has more time to carry out their mission.
They call me weak minded, my mind is pliable like a jelly fish. I am closer to the deep things then they can ever hope! Oh yes your commander will lead you to the deepest depths and then you will find out how well your brains work under the tides. You'll all come around to my way of thinking soon enough, The Sleeper willing.
Ahahahaa-ack cough cough cough
Posts
I said handgun, not tickle ray.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have alliance paper work to do.
Handmade Jewelry by me on EtsyGames for sale
Me on Twitch!
I never finish anyth
It is a handgun, and it just happens to be more powerful than anything developed solely by human ingenuity in the world thus far. The fact that you're not man enough to use it to it's full potential is no reason to be rude to the man making and co-opting weapons of mass destruction for you troopers.
My definitions change depending on the mission circumstances. Typically, my actions swing between "slap on the shoulder" and "extermination of potential threat."
They call. Their calls echo.
They call.
"Hail the sleeper."
But we are deaf to the truth.
We hear the echoes. We can hear the words. We must hear the words.
It is beautiful. It will play the song.
The brothers of the sleeper feared the song. They abandoned the song. They would silence the song.
We cannot let them silence it.
There has been joy. There will be joy again
Dr. WotanAnubis
X-Com xenobiology department.
Why I fear the ocean.
We're dying on our feet, sir, and no mistake. Independent work is keeping us floating (the contract for the motion scanners alone makes a few million a month) but operating expenses are outstripping that. Easily.
And from the comms I've been able to pick up, it sounds like we're getting cuts every month no matter what we do.
Fuck up, and we're failing to protect humanity. Well, heh. More like we're failing to protect corporate interests, considering some of the funders. Shipping trade failing thanks to attacks, decreased tourism thanks to "gas leaks" "radiation exposure" and the other cover stories for our more impressive failures, you get the idea. It doesn't leave people in the best mood to hand us unmarked suitcases full of bills.
Succeed, and everyone remembers it's a minor matter really, just a few ships a month, and those psychopaths have it under control already. Why give them more money to commit atrocities?
Do you drink? If not, I have your application for whatever religious position you want all filled out, because that's a miracle.
If we got a good fiscal plan, pass it on. Until then, I'll do what I can.
Kias, CEO Extrastellar Communications
Why I fear the ocean.
Are you talking about those guys who kept asking a bunch of questions about "mental health evaluation results" and stuff like that?
They were delicious.
Lies, damn lies and statistics. I was in fact listening to this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XxScTbIUvoA
I won't even bother to put it on an endless repeating loop as I usually do, as it is rapidly becoming clear that many of you are not worthy.
Pfft, all the cool kids have been hearing the song for weeks now. Maybe you're not part of the sleeper's plan, ever think about that? Maybe you're not supposed to be hearing his decrees? It'll be nice to be able to record them though, so I can play them back whenever I want. Sometimes the voices stop, and that's beginning to worry me.
*whistling*
Ah, director. Still having trouble getting properly drunk?
All the alcohol in this base tastes like urine. Which makes me wonder, Doctor, why you're so damned chipper.
Ah. Sonic pistol operation? Could be useful. High powered sidearms for scouts. Very high powered. That's easily a match for a plasma rifle in raw power. Good work.
That's nothing. Trash.
A pistol that can liquefy the internals of a tank in one shot is trash? I'm assuming you have something in mind as an alternative.
*extended pause*
That's...
Oh, we're still working on powering it. The prototype for field work is hooked up to the generator. Causes a rolling brownout every time it's fired. But progress is being made.
How powerful are we talking?
It can punch through alien alloy. Multiple layers, even. It doesn't have the punch of a blaster bomb or the Davy Crockett, but short of those this is the most powerful infantry weapon ever deployed.
Good work. Dismissed. May God have mercy on us all.
Why I fear the ocean.
PSN: Wstfgl | GamerTag: An Evil Plan | Battle.net: FallenIdle#1970
Hit me up on BoardGameArena! User: Loaded D1
Mind you, the cannon is showing a tendency to set off slight tectonic shifts in the local region, but it's no reason for alarm, I assure you.
We will repel these alien hordes with the power of rock
These cultist people seem like...
...
FINE PEOPLE. YES FINE.
Flight of the Motherfuckin' Valkyries, more like.
Steam: Elvenshae // PSN: Elvenshae // WotC: Elvenshae
Wilds of Aladrion: [https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/comment/43159014/#Comment_43159014]Ellandryn[/url]
Tectonic shifts?
In that case...
When those sons of bitches get hit by it... it's going to rock their world.
YEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
The Davey Crockett was basically a giant rifle that fired a man-portable nuclear missile. To quote Wikipedia:
Destiny Profile : http://www.bungie.net/en/Profile/254/7028016
Although the nice people in robes are talking about how fun it is to turn it on the disbelievers.
I guess my first gun might as well be a giant cannon of death! Hail the Sleeper!
The Division, Warframe (XB1)
GT: Tanith 6227
Gotta love the fact that it's blast radius was greater than it's firing range...
As for the Ghostbusters, are you talking about the time they went to New Orleans and faced down a jazz musician?
Well, it was designed for X-COM.
quickgivemethebiggun
I never finish anyth
Oh, don't fear the shoggoth, my good...Mate. Friend. Known person.
Infact, I have never seen you before, all these wonderful new faces for the sleeper! It will be quite a good dinner!
All soldiers assigned to Molecular Control testing, report to Doctor Caulk Bite 6 for evaluation and special training.
Failure to comply will be taken as insubordination, and will be treated accordingly.
Why I fear the ocean.
H... how is insubordination treated?
Don't be insubordinate.
The MC testers use insubordinate agents to practice on.
Speaking of which, isn't Rank still a MC tester?
Yeah, insubordination is a fate worse than a fate worse than death.
Doctor? Preliminary results are in.
More meltdowns and sobbing? Please tell me you took video this time. Campion's breakdown was entertaining, but seeing it just once feels a disservice.
No, as a matter of fact. All of the remaining subjects managed to maintain composure. Further, 60% of the initial subjects were subjected to advanced mental pressure with no negative repercussions. This may work. I appologize for calling it another First Earth Battalion.
Oh, it was.
Doctor?
It was an elaborate joke. Something to make our last hours more entertaining. I didn't expect anyone to be able to resist the signals, let alone control the test subjects. But I suppose that some of the subjects were more composed than I gave them credit for. I was starting to think you, the director, and I were the only sane people here.
I suppose so. Do you want the candidates with the most potential?
Why not?
Well, Nocren tested well.
Unsurprising, I suppose. Anyone who can maintain theories of his own invincibility in the face of the current scenario would have an unshakable ego.
Mojo.
Who could tell? He wets himself without outside provocation. Healthy self preservation instinct.
VirgilLeadsYou and RabidDeathMoose
Who?
The new meat. They helped with the ordinance tests? As targets.
Right. Enthusiastic, if I recall. Very hard to hit.
Raneados
Ah, the one stable member of the officer corps. Not entirely a surprise.
And Rankenfile.
God help us all. What have I done? I'll... pass the results to the director.
Why I fear the ocean.
Clearly, these voices are your friends, and you should pay close attention to what they say.
Just... before you act on their advice, let me know just a little in advance. You know, so I can help your friendly voices out.
Certainly not so I can duck for cover from your inevitable mind controlled killing spree, or run for Papa Rankenfile to protect me.
The Division, Warframe (XB1)
GT: Tanith 6227
Well congratulations, you're going to be the guy who they bring in with no weapons, strapped into a bodyboard. The aliens always target the weakest mind first so you will be a sacrificial lamb - the first to be driven insane so that the rest of the team has more time to carry out their mission.
Because I don't want them probing in my mind. The nice robed people are in there.
They call me weak minded, my mind is pliable like a jelly fish. I am closer to the deep things then they can ever hope! Oh yes your commander will lead you to the deepest depths and then you will find out how well your brains work under the tides. You'll all come around to my way of thinking soon enough, The Sleeper willing.
Ahahahaa-ack cough cough cough