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Oh God More Comics

AMKAMK Registered User regular
edited December 2010 in Artist's Corner
Curious what you terrifying creatures might think. You are all test subjects.
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Begin input.

Find out what it feels like to have head eaten? Y/N?
AMK on

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    GrennGrenn Registered User regular
    edited December 2010
    My first impression is that it's very Roman Dirge-slash-Jhonen Vasquez-slash-Jamie Smart-esque, both in style and content...

    BUT I actually think what you are doing here is better than average and shows some potential. Certainly in terms of what we regularly see on this site, and also compared to the wealth of 'start-up' comics following the styles of the above creators.

    If you're enjoying it, then simply keep at it.

    Don't worry about forcing 'your own' style too much, that'll come naturally along with more general improvements. I'm sure some of the folks here will have more practical advice to give.

    Keep it up.

    Grenn on
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    see317see317 Registered User regular
    edited December 2010
    Heh...
    "Gone to Europe.
    ~Bread"

    I desire to know more of the adventures the loaf of bread has in Europe.

    see317 on
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    farbekriegfarbekrieg Registered User regular
    edited December 2010
    I think it is pretty good, particularly if these are the first offerings, but the font... the font hurts me! It is palatable in small doses but when you exceed say... 6 to 8 words my brain doesnt want to read them.

    farbekrieg on
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    JLM-AWPJLM-AWP Registered User regular
    edited December 2010
    The first two were well-written and the punchlines were unexpected and pretty funny :) I really liked the punchline in the second one. The timing is spot-on.

    The third seems to be one of those strips a person gives up on. Based on the first 2, I think you could make this one MUCH stronger instead of dissolving into an empty bicker back and forth. You used substance for the frist two comics, but this one is lacking in that department.

    The fourth was good, and the "be honest" is chucklable (is that a word? - well it is now), but I think it just didn't do it for me personally.

    If you are going to have a somewhat frazzled, less-polished look to your comic, you need to keep that content TOP NOTCH. If you consistently made strips like the first couple you posted, I'd bookmark your site without a doubt.

    JLM-AWP on
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    earthwormadamearthwormadam ancient crust Registered User regular
    edited December 2010
    The characters don't really have much in the way of personalities, they seem sorta like lifeless puppets to me. Keep drawing though, and try to develop as an arteest.

    earthwormadam on
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    MustangMustang Arbiter of Unpopular Opinions Registered User regular
    edited December 2010
    I think this has potential, everything is a bit rough, but with time and practice I think this could be rather good.
    Which is a lot more praise than I give 80% of the "Lokk I drawd comic ololol" threads we get on here.

    Mustang on
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    NakedZerglingNakedZergling A more apocalyptic post apocalypse Portland OregonRegistered User regular
    edited December 2010
    I feel that the font is VERY distracting. The comic itself didn't really do anything for me. I didn't feel like there was any character in your characters.

    NakedZergling on
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    MustangMustang Arbiter of Unpopular Opinions Registered User regular
    edited December 2010
    Actually yeah, the font is very hard on the eyes. Makes you not want to read it.

    Mustang on
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    VeromVerom Registered User regular
    edited December 2010
    I'm happy to see this isn't the usual generic, dark humor I usually see with styles like this, but instead pretty witty stuff and this just happens to be the way you like to draw.

    Verom on
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    AMKAMK Registered User regular
    edited December 2010
    Okay. My handwriting sucks. Understood. I'll work on it.

    I appreciate the input nonetheless!

    Here's a couple more, bear with me, it'll be over soon.

    These resemble "plot."
    broken_mirror__on_kidnapping_by_axmxk-d30myr1.jpg
    broken_mirror__on_action_by_axmxk-d31lm3r.jpg

    AMK on
    Find out what it feels like to have head eaten? Y/N?
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    NakedZerglingNakedZergling A more apocalyptic post apocalypse Portland OregonRegistered User regular
    edited December 2010
    The last 2 comics basically repeat the same joke of "Order out".
    The first time you say it, i would drop the whole "Well we can't make sandwiches" and just say "Order out" if you have to explain the joke then it doesn't work.
    The whole second comic then revolves around that passing joke, and then makes me think...why can a jar of mayo abduct someone but another jar points out that they can't do anything because "Im a jar"...i dunno. again just didn't work for me

    the take-out menu was way funnier. you could drop the whole 4th panel of the last comic and have a way funnier comic IMO

    NakedZergling on
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    earthwormadamearthwormadam ancient crust Registered User regular
    edited December 2010
    Agreed. Less is more. Also the handwriting does not irk me as much as the word bubbles. There seems to be no reason for them to look like that other than to be edgy. It's cramping the lettering. I'm pretty sure if you just removed them and put them in the regular old circular word bubbles it would look 10 times better. Well maybe not 10, but a lot. Don't get me wrong it's good to deviate from the norm, but some methods are tried and true.

    Also the two characters are completely indecipherable personality wise. There's really nothing thats standing out to me in either their design or their attributes. Maybe try to come up with different more interesting characters?

    Your line work is very clean so that's a nice hurdle to clear early on in the process of making comics. In terms of mixing up perspectives and refining your line width variation you still have a ways to go.

    earthwormadam on
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    HeartlashHeartlash Registered User regular
    edited December 2010
    I actually think the dark haired character has been adequately given a "misfit" personality, but right now the other characters (with the exception of the talking Milk carton) seem to exist purely as contrast to him.

    I like this a lot so far, keep it up.

    Heartlash on
    My indie mobile gaming studio: Elder Aeons
    Our first game is now available for free on Google Play: Frontier: Isle of the Seven Gods
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    squidbunnysquidbunny Registered User regular
    edited December 2010
    Also the handwriting does not irk me as much as the word bubbles. There seems to be no reason for them to look like that other than to be edgy. It's cramping the lettering. I'm pretty sure if you just removed them and put them in the regular old circular word bubbles it would look 10 times better. Well maybe not 10, but a lot. Don't get me wrong it's good to deviate from the norm, but some methods are tried and true.

    Seconded. You don't even have to go circular if you don't want to (although there's curves in your comic so I don't think it'd stylistically offend to much); just give the text more room to breathe. They're extremely claustrophobic, which I think is what's making them so hard for folks to look at.

    squidbunny on
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    RubberACRubberAC Sidney BC!Registered User regular
    edited December 2010
    your writing is pretty funny
    im not really diggin your art though
    it just seems kind of generic "internet cute" simple emo cartoons like those old "i had cookie but eated it" comics that float around still

    RubberAC on
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    Toji SuzuharaToji Suzuhara Southern CaliforniaRegistered User regular
    edited December 2010
    RubberAC wrote: »
    your writing is pretty funny
    im not really diggin your art though
    it just seems kind of generic "internet cute" simple emo cartoons like those old "i had cookie but eated it" comics that float around still

    Yes, kind of. It does look like those in how the OP draws the characters, but s/he's already bypassing a few hurdles that really hold new comic artists back. Those would be drawing backgrounds where necessary, and knowing how to compose a shot for drama/action/whatever the purpose of the panel is. The art might be really simple with abstracted characters, but s/he's already got a good sense of how to let the art service the writing.

    That said, I think the inking is pretty weak. Very little attention is paid to why certain lines are thicker than others. It's just bold outlines and lighter interior lines, and it's not very satisfying. It doesn't really do much to further the mood of your comics. You should think of it more like angles and closeups in that it's another device you can use to strengthen your punchlines through buildup and release of visual tension.

    Toji Suzuhara on
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    Zero626Zero626 Registered User regular
    edited December 2010
    It all goes back to the font...it's really unbearable, especially when both characters are spewing out paragraphs in the same panel...just very distracting.

    The writing is "meh" to me...I feel it's the type of stuff that'll be funny/amusing to that small core of people out there and just seems annoying to me that the punchlines are just outrageous statements that really make no sense, especially in that second one about grinding rabbits or w/e.

    Zero626 on
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