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what is the hardest thing you've ever had to do

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    PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited December 2010
    the thing with the CAMH is

    and this is a problem i have with finding a therapist in general is

    they don't really do the kind of therapy for the problems i have

    like, primarily CAMH deals with drug addiction and therapy related to dealing with substance abuse

    i don't really have a substance abuse problem. i did, at one time, but that's not the reason i need to see a therapist

    i need a therapist because i have post-traumatic stress disorder which causes hypervigilant episodes, insomnia (which i have right now!), nightmares and night terrors, panic attacks, and a bunch of other awful shit

    however, the reasons i have PTSD are actually extremely difficult to find a therapist for

    that blows

    Pony on
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    LaCabraLaCabra MelbourneRegistered User regular
    edited December 2010
    I had a friend at uni who for a few months there would have seizures most days, sometimes like three a day. most folks at my uni were bumbling fools who would have no idea what to do in that situation, so it was always me who looked after her

    turns out that's a good way to make a friend

    LaCabra on
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    FrankoFranko Sometimes I really wish I had four feet so I could dance with myself to the drumbeat Registered User regular
    edited December 2010
    my brother has more diseases than Africa

    its not fun for the family

    Franko on
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    LaCabraLaCabra MelbourneRegistered User regular
    edited December 2010
    also i just went out and had a shower in the rain, it was great

    LaCabra on
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    PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited December 2010
    i have seizures occasionally now as a result of the stroke

    especially absent partial seizures

    they suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

    Pony on
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    MereHappenstanceMereHappenstance Registered User regular
    edited December 2010
    edit: also admitting to myself that i'm a dirty pervert was kind of hard as well. i am no longer ashamed of my peculiar fetishes, and even talk about them around here, but maaaan did i have some confusing boners in my teenaged years.

    Lola bunny has that effect on people.

    MereHappenstance on
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    L|amaL|ama Registered User regular
    edited December 2010
    my dad thinks my uncle died from the hospital fucking up the medications somehow

    if it's true it's even worse because he used to do heaps of drugs

    L|ama on
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    AriviaArivia I Like A Challenge Earth-1Registered User regular
    edited December 2010
    good luck pony

    we may hate each others guts but I wish you well

    Arivia on
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    SolarSolar Registered User regular
    edited December 2010
    The Hardest thing I ever did was:

    Go to see a counsellor

    that was pretty hard going

    I guess I didn't have to do it though

    It helped a little but not massively

    Solar on
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    LaCabraLaCabra MelbourneRegistered User regular
    edited December 2010
    Pony wrote: »
    i have seizures occasionally now as a result of the stroke

    especially absent partial seizures

    they suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

    what's that mean, pony

    LaCabra on
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    Frosty the Snow PlowFrosty the Snow Plow Registered User regular
    edited December 2010
    Also, I saw a mom with her transgendered kid in the therapy reception room once, and again months later.

    The second time, the mom was so much more encouraging of her kid insisting very strongly on the pronoun "she". Was heartwarming as all hell.

    Frosty the Snow Plow on
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    Calamity JaneCalamity Jane That Wrong Love Registered User regular
    edited December 2010
    "OFF THERE to the right--somewhere--is a large island," said Whitney." It's rather a mystery--"

    "What island is it?" Rainsford asked.

    "The old charts call it `Ship-Trap Island,"' Whitney replied." A suggestive name, isn't it? Sailors have a curious dread of the place. I don't know why. Some superstition--"

    "Can't see it," remarked Rainsford, trying to peer through the dank tropical night that was palpable as it pressed its thick warm blackness in upon the yacht.

    "You've good eyes," said Whitney, with a laugh," and I've seen you pick off a moose moving in the brown fall bush at four hundred yards, but even you can't see four miles or so through a moonless Caribbean night."

    "Nor four yards," admitted Rainsford. "Ugh! It's like moist black velvet."

    "It will be light enough in Rio," promised Whitney. "We should make it in a few days. I hope the jaguar guns have come from Purdey's. We should have some good hunting up the Amazon. Great sport, hunting."

    "The best sport in the world," agreed Rainsford.

    "For the hunter," amended Whitney. "Not for the jaguar."

    "Don't talk rot, Whitney," said Rainsford. "You're a big-game hunter, not a philosopher. Who cares how a jaguar feels?"

    "Perhaps the jaguar does," observed Whitney.

    "Bah! They've no understanding."

    "Even so, I rather think they understand one thing--fear. The fear of pain and the fear of death."

    "Nonsense," laughed Rainsford. "This hot weather is making you soft, Whitney. Be a realist. The world is made up of two classes--the hunters and the huntees. Luckily, you and I are hunters. Do you think we've passed that island yet?"

    "I can't tell in the dark. I hope so."

    "Why? " asked Rainsford.

    Calamity Jane on
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    ZonugalZonugal (He/Him) The Holiday Armadillo I'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico!Registered User regular
    edited December 2010
    Koshian wrote: »
    Arivia wrote: »
    Koshian wrote: »
    largest city in canada more like most poopfarts

    this

    this is the trained and cynical voice of anyone outside of a 100 km radius of toronto

    psh psh toronto psh

    Nova Scotia is the best :3

    Zonugal on
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    Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister It Gets Worse before it gets any better.Registered User regular
    edited December 2010
    Admitting to myself that my parents might not be the greatest people in the world was hard as fuck too. I suppose that's just part of growing up... It was much harder admitting that my surviving older brother is pretty much a womanizing douche-bag. I looked up to him for a long time, and basically realized that the worst parts of my personality are a direct result of me trying to emulate him and get his attention in my younger years.

    Metzger Meister on
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    AriviaArivia I Like A Challenge Earth-1Registered User regular
    edited December 2010
    I have family in NS

    prettiest annapolis

    Arivia on
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    PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited December 2010
    one of the therapists my old therapist referred me to was on Church street

    aka gaaaaysville in Toronto

    so primarily they deal with gay youth having depression issues and shit about being gay

    i don't have issues with my sexual orientation, thanks

    ain't really my problem

    but my therapist was like "yes but it was men you were sexually assaulted by so"

    so i go to this therapist and uh they're just not really equipped to deal with that

    ain't really find one that is

    there's actually very little in the way of therapy for men who are the victims of things like sexual assault or domestic abuse

    as someone who has suffered both that kinda sucks more than a little

    Pony on
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    Calamity JaneCalamity Jane That Wrong Love Registered User regular
    edited December 2010
    "The place has a reputation--a bad one."

    "Cannibals?" suggested Rainsford.

    "Hardly. Even cannibals wouldn't live in such a God-forsaken place. But it's gotten into sailor lore, somehow. Didn't you notice that the crew's nerves seemed a bit jumpy today?"

    "They were a bit strange, now you mention it. Even Captain Nielsen--"

    "Yes, even that tough-minded old Swede, who'd go up to the devil himself and ask him for a light. Those fishy blue eyes held a look I never saw there before. All I could get out of him was `This place has an evil name among seafaring men, sir.' Then he said to me, very gravely, `Don't you feel anything?'--as if the air about us was actually poisonous. Now, you mustn't laugh when I tell you this--I did feel something like a sudden chill.

    "There was no breeze. The sea was as flat as a plate-glass window. We were drawing near the island then. What I felt was a--a mental chill; a sort of sudden dread."

    "Pure imagination," said Rainsford.

    "One superstitious sailor can taint the whole ship's company with his fear."

    "Maybe. But sometimes I think sailors have an extra sense that tells them when they are in danger. Sometimes I think evil is a tangible thing--with wave lengths, just as sound and light have. An evil place can, so to speak, broadcast vibrations of evil. Anyhow, I'm glad we're getting out of this zone. Well, I think I'll turn in now, Rainsford."

    "I'm not sleepy," said Rainsford. "I'm going to smoke another pipe up on the afterdeck."

    "Good night, then, Rainsford. See you at breakfast."

    "Right. Good night, Whitney."

    Calamity Jane on
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    PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited December 2010
    Arivia wrote: »
    good luck pony

    we may hate each others guts but I wish you well

    i don't hate you

    i just think you're annoying sometimes

    you're not being annoying right now

    but sometimes you are

    that is how it goes

    Pony on
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    GoatmonGoatmon Companion of Kess Registered User regular
    edited December 2010
    I have had seizures, best I can figure, most (if not all) of my life.

    Problem is; they only occur in my sleep. Like, I'll just have a strong twitch up my back like I'm suddenly jerking out of bed, but then I flop back down. I can only think of one occasion where I was aware of it happening, when I suddenly jerked up exactly as I was starting to drift. They don't really affect me in any way I am aware of, beyond interrupting my sleep. Granted, this can happen a lot and even ruin what would have been a good night's sleep.

    I learned about this when I was little, and spent a night in a lab with a bunch of equipment plugged into me; all sorts of wires stuck to me and such. It was pretty damn uncomfortable, and I don't recall ever getting much of anything that really helped deal with it.

    I'd actually forgotten that I even had them until a few years ago. Most of my medical problems as a kid (though there wasn't that much to worry about) went kind of ignored or even undiagnosed because my Dad didn't really give two shits about my health. Seems like he was mostly too busy screaming at me about how stupid I am every five minutes.

    Goatmon on
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    MereHappenstanceMereHappenstance Registered User regular
    edited December 2010
    Admitting to myself that my parents might not be the greatest people in the world was hard as fuck too. I suppose that's just part of growing up... It was much harder admitting that my surviving older brother is pretty much a womanizing douche-bag. I looked up to him for a long time, and basically realized that the worst parts of my personality are a direct result of me trying to emulate him and get his attention in my younger years.

    Sounds like Zonugals older brother.

    MereHappenstance on
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    PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited December 2010
    LaCabra wrote: »
    Pony wrote: »
    i have seizures occasionally now as a result of the stroke

    especially absent partial seizures

    they suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

    what's that mean, pony

    sort what it sounds like

    basically it's a seizure where you are like, kinda conscious during it

    like you know you are having a seizure but you are all out of it and discombobulated n shit

    it's really unpleasant

    Pony on
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    ZonugalZonugal (He/Him) The Holiday Armadillo I'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico!Registered User regular
    edited December 2010
    Admitting to myself that my parents might not be the greatest people in the world was hard as fuck too. I suppose that's just part of growing up... It was much harder admitting that my surviving older brother is pretty much a womanizing douche-bag. I looked up to him for a long time, and basically realized that the worst parts of my personality are a direct result of me trying to emulate him and get his attention in my younger years.

    Sounds like Zonugals older brother.

    Yeah... Except I never looked up or wanted to emulate him.

    Ever.

    Zonugal on
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    DoobhDoobh She/Her, Ace Pan/Bisexual 8-) What's up, bootlickers?Registered User regular
    edited December 2010
    Pony wrote: »
    there's actually very little in the way of therapy for men who are the victims of things like sexual assault or domestic abuse

    this has always bothered the hell out of me

    Doobh on
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    PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited December 2010
    thus far my experience with looking up therapists in Toronto has been like trying to find and optometrist and finding nothing but dentists and gynecologists

    Pony on
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    LaCabraLaCabra MelbourneRegistered User regular
    edited December 2010
    Pony wrote: »
    LaCabra wrote: »
    Pony wrote: »
    i have seizures occasionally now as a result of the stroke

    especially absent partial seizures

    they suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

    what's that mean, pony

    sort what it sounds like

    basically it's a seizure where you are like, kinda conscious during it

    like you know you are having a seizure but you are all out of it and discombobulated n shit

    it's really unpleasant

    oh yeah, that's the kind my friend has

    she also would usually have some memory loss, sometimes lose the whole day, which was terrible for uni

    LaCabra on
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    Calamity JaneCalamity Jane That Wrong Love Registered User regular
    edited December 2010
    There was no sound in the night as Rainsford sat there but the muffled throb of the engine that drove the yacht swiftly through the darkness, and the swish and ripple of the wash of the propeller.

    Rainsford, reclining in a steamer chair, indolently puffed on his favorite brier. The sensuous drowsiness of the night was on him." It's so dark," he thought, "that I could sleep without closing my eyes; the night would be my eyelids--"

    An abrupt sound startled him. Off to the right he heard it, and his ears, expert in such matters, could not be mistaken. Again he heard the sound, and again. Somewhere, off in the blackness, someone had fired a gun three times.

    Rainsford sprang up and moved quickly to the rail, mystified. He strained his eyes in the direction from which the reports had come, but it was like trying to see through a blanket. He leaped upon the rail and balanced himself there, to get greater elevation; his pipe, striking a rope, was knocked from his mouth. He lunged for it; a short, hoarse cry came from his lips as he realized he had reached too far and had lost his balance. The cry was pinched off short as the blood-warm waters of the Caribbean Sea dosed over his head.

    He struggled up to the surface and tried to cry out, but the wash from the speeding yacht slapped him in the face and the salt water in his open mouth made him gag and strangle. Desperately he struck out with strong strokes after the receding lights of the yacht, but he stopped before he had swum fifty feet. A certain coolheadedness had come to him; it was not the first time he had been in a tight place. There was a chance that his cries could be heard by someone aboard the yacht, but that chance was slender and grew more slender as the yacht raced on. He wrestled himself out of his clothes and shouted with all his power. The lights of the yacht became faint and ever-vanishing fireflies; then they were blotted out entirely by the night.

    Calamity Jane on
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    AriviaArivia I Like A Challenge Earth-1Registered User regular
    edited December 2010
    maybe try getting in touch with a men's shelter, see if Thom knows of any networking resources?

    Arivia on
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    MereHappenstanceMereHappenstance Registered User regular
    edited December 2010
    Zonugal wrote: »
    Admitting to myself that my parents might not be the greatest people in the world was hard as fuck too. I suppose that's just part of growing up... It was much harder admitting that my surviving older brother is pretty much a womanizing douche-bag. I looked up to him for a long time, and basically realized that the worst parts of my personality are a direct result of me trying to emulate him and get his attention in my younger years.

    Sounds like Zonugals older brother.

    Yeah... Except I never looked up or wanted to emulate him.

    Ever.

    I was too lazy to edit out most of it.

    Although you probably did emulate his drinking habits if his friends stories were any indication.

    MereHappenstance on
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    AriviaArivia I Like A Challenge Earth-1Registered User regular
    edited December 2010
    ps anjin whatever you are doing it is cute but useless!

    Arivia on
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    ZonugalZonugal (He/Him) The Holiday Armadillo I'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico!Registered User regular
    edited December 2010
    Zonugal wrote: »
    Admitting to myself that my parents might not be the greatest people in the world was hard as fuck too. I suppose that's just part of growing up... It was much harder admitting that my surviving older brother is pretty much a womanizing douche-bag. I looked up to him for a long time, and basically realized that the worst parts of my personality are a direct result of me trying to emulate him and get his attention in my younger years.

    Sounds like Zonugals older brother.

    Yeah... Except I never looked up or wanted to emulate him.

    Ever.

    I was too lazy to edit out most of it.

    Although you probably did emulate his drinking habits if his friends stories were any indication.

    Nah, that is more genetics than anything. With my brother being five years older than me I have never been in the same era of life as him & thus wasn't keen to seeing any of his habits.

    Zonugal on
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    Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister It Gets Worse before it gets any better.Registered User regular
    edited December 2010
    Dammit Anjin stop posting "The Most Dangerous Game"

    edit: oh see i'm only 18 months younger than my brother

    Metzger Meister on
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    MereHappenstanceMereHappenstance Registered User regular
    edited December 2010
    Arivia wrote: »
    ps anjin whatever you are doing it is cute but useless!

    I'm actually finding this story to be pretty engaging.

    MereHappenstance on
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    Calamity JaneCalamity Jane That Wrong Love Registered User regular
    edited December 2010
    it is not useless

    it is the most dangerous game

    Calamity Jane on
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    PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited December 2010
    Dubh wrote: »
    Pony wrote: »
    there's actually very little in the way of therapy for men who are the victims of things like sexual assault or domestic abuse

    this has always bothered the hell out of me

    there are therapists and support groups and stuff for men who were the victims of molestation as children

    but that is specifically for that

    and doesn't really work for adults who were the victim of sexual assault by other adults

    apparently the notion is just that doesn't happen to men erego there's no need to have counselling services for it?

    i don't know

    i do know with the domestic abuse thing it literally is because people believe it doesn't happen to men and there's no real subsidy for it like there is for things like women's shelters so it basically doesn't exist.

    Pony on
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    AriviaArivia I Like A Challenge Earth-1Registered User regular
    edited December 2010
    is this a hemingway story

    do I need to stab you

    Arivia on
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    MereHappenstanceMereHappenstance Registered User regular
    edited December 2010
    Zonugal wrote: »
    Zonugal wrote: »
    Admitting to myself that my parents might not be the greatest people in the world was hard as fuck too. I suppose that's just part of growing up... It was much harder admitting that my surviving older brother is pretty much a womanizing douche-bag. I looked up to him for a long time, and basically realized that the worst parts of my personality are a direct result of me trying to emulate him and get his attention in my younger years.

    Sounds like Zonugals older brother.

    Yeah... Except I never looked up or wanted to emulate him.

    Ever.

    I was too lazy to edit out most of it.

    Although you probably did emulate his drinking habits if his friends stories were any indication.

    Nah, that is more genetics than anything. With my brother being five years older than me I have never been in the same era of life as him & thus wasn't keen to seeing any of his habits.

    His buddy though. That is a man to look up to.

    His is forever the pitcher.

    MereHappenstance on
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    DoobhDoobh She/Her, Ace Pan/Bisexual 8-) What's up, bootlickers?Registered User regular
    edited December 2010
    Zonugal wrote: »
    Zonugal wrote: »
    Admitting to myself that my parents might not be the greatest people in the world was hard as fuck too. I suppose that's just part of growing up... It was much harder admitting that my surviving older brother is pretty much a womanizing douche-bag. I looked up to him for a long time, and basically realized that the worst parts of my personality are a direct result of me trying to emulate him and get his attention in my younger years.

    Sounds like Zonugals older brother.

    Yeah... Except I never looked up or wanted to emulate him.

    Ever.

    I was too lazy to edit out most of it.

    Although you probably did emulate his drinking habits if his friends stories were any indication.

    Nah, that is more genetics than anything. With my brother being five years older than me I have never been in the same era of life as him & thus wasn't keen to seeing any of his habits.

    that age gap changes things a bunch

    my brother is eight years older, and I have no inclinations to really even keep contacting him

    god knows why he tries so hard to keep me in his life

    Doobh on
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    PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited December 2010
    Arivia wrote: »
    maybe try getting in touch with a men's shelter, see if Thom knows of any networking resources?

    i have not found any of those to exist in toronto

    if they do, they are not easy to find

    Pony on
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    AriviaArivia I Like A Challenge Earth-1Registered User regular
    edited December 2010
    so to go back to the op, with antimatter's help I've decided I am going for dd-cup breasts

    this should be fun!

    Arivia on
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    ZonugalZonugal (He/Him) The Holiday Armadillo I'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico!Registered User regular
    edited December 2010
    The Most Dangerous Game is a terrific short story.

    Zonugal on
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