TLDR Version: I need help and suggestions on things I can do to meet women and how to talk to them.
Long Version: I am desperate and I am reaching out to the vast Internet conciseness of the H/A forum to help me out of my drought.
I have been single since May of 2002 after my first and only relationship of 3 years. That is a long time for anyone but to be honest I have really only even been attempting to meet women to date in the last 2 years. My quest has been largely unsuccessful but I feel I have made significant self improvements in that time. Just as a small list here are some of the things I have done to try and better myself in order to become more attractive to the opposite sex.
The first thing is after my previous relationship I was mildly depressed for the better part of 5 or 6 years. So after consulting my PCP I was put on an SSRI which as significantly improved my self image and world view.
Exercise, Exercise, Exercise. I've gone from a sickly 6'1 120 lbs to a healthy 6'1 160 lbs. I am still shocked when I look in the mirror and I have muscle instead of bone. I'll never be a Mr. Universe or on a P90X commercial but I am still super proud of my accomplishment.
Lots of reading. I felt I really need to expand my horizons beyond bad TV and World of Warcraft so I have read just about any and every book that has been suggested to me. A few like Atlas Shrugged have been had a huge impact on how I see and relate to the world. I've also read a lot of Self Help and New Age stuff to try and better understand why people, including myself, behave or respond.
Lasik eye surgery. Thought I would be more attractive without the glasses. Dunno if it worked or not but it sure is nice not having to wear them.
There was a while I was really interested in some of the stuff from the PUA community too. There were a few things here and there that were interesting but it always seemed too manipulative to me so I never actively tried any of their methods. They did have some good stuff every once in a while on bettering ones self which is what I really got out of them. But overall its not really something that I am interested in pursuing.
Vision boards, making lists, using the Law of Attraction. Yes I saw and read The Secret. Reading it again now actually. I really want to believe in the power of positive thinking. Even if there is no "magic" in it I have to believe that just generally being more optimistic about live is going to be more attractive to women then being all mopey and sullen.
Online dating. I have tried just about all of the big websites. PlentyofFish, eHarmoney, Match.com, Singles.net, Cupid.com you name it. I've had help from the female friends I trust the most in writing profiles and picking pictures. Even in writing messages to women on these sites. End the end I have been disappointed in all of them. I don't know what it is that I am doing wrong but I cannot seem to get anyone to respond... ever.
Finally in my last ditch effort before slipping back into depression I started seeing a therapist about 6 months ago which is helping me stay level and motivated to keep trying.
So I ask you H/A as someone who is mostly a homebody, gamer, Internet junkie what else can I do to try and meet that special someone? Even if it is not "The One" what can I do to even start to have dates?
Here is my other major issue. Say I do meet someone who I would like to ask out on a date. What the hell am I suppose to say?