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Mawwage is what bring us togethew today

JigrahJigrah Registered User regular
edited January 2011 in Social Entropy++
So may dad is getting married today, something about 1-1-2011 has him deciding it's a good date. I'm supposed to be the best man, something I found out about four hours ago. The good news is I don't have to throw a bachelors party, the bad news is that I have to come up with a speech that I am ill prepared for. Doing more with less is what I do best though, so I think I will do alright with the speech (and being hung over).

Many people here are married though, and have experienced a best mans speech, so tell me please. What was the best thing your best man said. What makes a good best man speech?

Jigrah on

Posts

  • JordynJordyn Really, Commander? Probing Uranus. Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    I don't remember what our best man said.

    He ate popcorn during the entire ceremony.

    Jordyn on
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  • FramlingFramling FaceHead Geebs has bad ideas.Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    Jordyn wrote: »
    I don't remember what our best man said.

    He ate popcorn during the entire ceremony.

    Except when he had to dig the ring out of his pocket.

    Then I had to hold his popcorn for a second.

    Framling on
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  • JigrahJigrah Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    Was his bachelor party a Mario Party, cause that would be awesome.

    Jigrah on
  • FramlingFramling FaceHead Geebs has bad ideas.Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    That would have sucked; Mario Party sucks.

    Framling on
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  • MereHappenstanceMereHappenstance Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    Tell the most emerassing story about him that you know. Works every time.

    MereHappenstance on
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  • STATE OF THE ART ROBOTSTATE OF THE ART ROBOT Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    Framling wrote: »
    That would have sucked; Mario Party sucks.

    It's better if everyone is drunk.

    STATE OF THE ART ROBOT on
  • I Win SwordfightsI Win Swordfights all the traits of greatness starlight at my feetRegistered User regular
    edited January 2011
    My parents got married on new years eve 18 years ago

    I Win Swordfights on
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  • Burden of ProofBurden of Proof You three boys picked a beautiful hill to die on. Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    start weeping and pretend you're too emotional to go on

    Burden of Proof on
  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister It Gets Worse before it gets any better.Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    "I'm not losing a father, I'm gaining an entire new family that hates me."

    Metzger Meister on
  • JigrahJigrah Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    Metzger Meister wrote: »
    "I'm not losing a father, I'm gaining an entire new family that hates me."

    Their family loves me though, which is odd because they are incredibly religious. While I am not anti religious, I have made it a point that Christ is no savior of mine.

    Jigrah on
  • EdcrabEdcrab Actually a hack Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    When my dad re-married I wasn't the best man, that was shared between his two brothers so they wouldn't kill each other, but all three of us ended up giving a speech and for some reason I was made to go last

    Come to think of it I'm often asked to speak at weddings even when I'm not the best man. Kinda weird

    Anyway the trick is in telling funny (potentially embarrasing) stories that won't humiliate your parent but that'll get memorable laughs; a good angle is to reference some point from your own childhood, because if the anecdote revolves around your dad having to compensate for something ridiculous that you did, that's just gold

    And then close it up with some shlock about what your dad means to you and that you know he's going to be happy

    Edcrab on
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  • FramlingFramling FaceHead Geebs has bad ideas.Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    Man, I'm pretty anti-religious.

    Framling on
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  • #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    edited January 2011
    pretend like you thought they said "Best Boy" then give a speech about setting up lights in hollywood.

    #pipe on
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  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister It Gets Worse before it gets any better.Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    eschew the speech and hire bad religion to play the wedding.

    Metzger Meister on
  • Lost SalientLost Salient blink twice if you'd like me to mercy kill youRegistered User regular
    edited January 2011
    What do you figure it means when you're talking to your best friend on the phone and he says, "Just so you know, if Erin [his girlfriend] and I ever get married, she said she's been preparing some speech to make about you guys."

    What do you figure that means? Because man, I am mildly terrified at the prospect of finding out.

    Lost Salient on
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  • Blake TBlake T Do you have enemies then? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    Pipe we can be icecream buddies.

    Blake T on
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  • HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    Give the Saint Crispin's Day speech from Henry V. Then hit somebody with a broadsword and have some cake.

    Hunter on
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  • Goose!Goose! That's me, honey Show me the way home, honeyRegistered User regular
    edited January 2011
    "When I found out that my dad was getting married...which was about four hours ago...I was like...'ugh, I have to get dressed today. THANKS DAD!'"

    Goose! on
  • AntimatterAntimatter Devo Was Right Gates of SteelRegistered User regular
    edited January 2011
    Koshian wrote: »
    who wants to come to me and karen's wedding? :3

    will there be food

    Antimatter on
  • Goose!Goose! That's me, honey Show me the way home, honeyRegistered User regular
    edited January 2011
    Will Hugo be there? Or Kim? Or Fidel?

    Goose! on
  • AntimatterAntimatter Devo Was Right Gates of SteelRegistered User regular
    edited January 2011
    I heard they got Putin

    Antimatter on
  • LanglyLangly Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    Self-degradation coupled with target of speech adoration is the key to a good wedding speech.

    Langly on
  • NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    I think you should spend some time posting on the internet.

    NotASenator on
  • Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Ho! Ho! Ho! Drink Coke!Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    my parents have been married for 31 years

    Centipede Damascus on
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