The Space Aide with Space Aids, it's Kelly Chambers! -- MASS EFFECT

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Posts

  • WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    Pharezon wrote: »
    Weaver wrote: »
    yeah, phwoooaar we are the best killing machines

    let me jerk off on an assault rifle

    the ruins on the krogan homeworld, I'm just like really, you guys had office towers at one point?

    They got to the nuclear age and all that before destroying themselves in a nuclear holocaust.

    I know but when I try to picture a bunch of Krogan CPAs having a meeting I just *bzzzzzrt*

    Weaver on
  • T4CTT4CT BAFTA-NOMINATED NAFTA-APPROVEDRegistered User regular
    edited January 2011
    Pharezon wrote: »
    T4CT wrote: »
    pro fact: until like two days ago I had an entire OP dedicated to batarians

    Why didn't you use it damn it? It would have been incredible.

    patience, youngling

    it's time will come

    T4CT on
  • T4CTT4CT BAFTA-NOMINATED NAFTA-APPROVEDRegistered User regular
    edited January 2011
    Uriel wrote: »
    T4CT wrote: »
    how opposed do you think bioware would be to me writing them a letter asking if asari have space vaginas

    Blue ones.


    Like the limited edition avatar fleshlight.

    wait wait wait

    back the fuck up

    they made a space pocahontas vaginal simulator

    this can't be a thing that's actually real

    T4CT on
  • PharezonPharezon Struggle is an illusion. Victory is in the Qun.Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    Weaver wrote: »
    Pharezon wrote: »
    Weaver wrote: »
    yeah, phwoooaar we are the best killing machines

    let me jerk off on an assault rifle

    the ruins on the krogan homeworld, I'm just like really, you guys had office towers at one point?

    They got to the nuclear age and all that before destroying themselves in a nuclear holocaust.

    I know but when I try to picture a bunch of Krogan CPAs having a meeting I just *bzzzzzrt*

    Krogan sitting around a conference table and then one of them stands up and points at another while shouting, "YOU ARE NOT ECONOMICALLY VIABLE!" before sending him out of a window via biotics.

    Pharezon on
    jkZziGc.png
  • UrielUriel Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    T4CT wrote: »
    Uriel wrote: »
    T4CT wrote: »
    how opposed do you think bioware would be to me writing them a letter asking if asari have space vaginas

    Blue ones.


    Like the limited edition avatar fleshlight.

    wait wait wait

    back the fuck up

    they made a space pocahontas vaginal simulator

    this can't be a thing that's actually real
    I can prove it.

    Uriel on
  • Blake TBlake T Do you have enemies then? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    Now that I think about ME1, how big was the Alliance fleet that it managed to tip the scales in the final fight?

    Blake T on
  • OrikaeshigitaeOrikaeshigitae Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited January 2011
    T4CT wrote: »
    Uriel wrote: »
    T4CT wrote: »
    how opposed do you think bioware would be to me writing them a letter asking if asari have space vaginas

    Blue ones.


    Like the limited edition avatar fleshlight.

    wait wait wait

    back the fuck up

    they made a space pocahontas vaginal simulator

    this can't be a thing that's actually real

    yup

    four outer labia lips instead of two

    in case you ever wanted to fuck a flower

    Orikaeshigitae on
  • UrielUriel Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    I have an email from them advertising it.

    It came with a DVD with avatar porno.

    Uriel on
  • WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    Pharezon wrote: »
    Weaver wrote: »
    Pharezon wrote: »
    Weaver wrote: »
    yeah, phwoooaar we are the best killing machines

    let me jerk off on an assault rifle

    the ruins on the krogan homeworld, I'm just like really, you guys had office towers at one point?

    They got to the nuclear age and all that before destroying themselves in a nuclear holocaust.

    I know but when I try to picture a bunch of Krogan CPAs having a meeting I just *bzzzzzrt*

    Krogan sitting around a conference table and then one of them stands up and points at another while shouting, "YOU ARE NOT ECONOMICALLY VIABLE!" before sending him out of a window via biotics.

    THE CFO CANNOT EVEN HIT A SINGLE FISCAL PROFIT TARGET!

    Weaver on
  • T4CTT4CT BAFTA-NOMINATED NAFTA-APPROVEDRegistered User regular
    edited January 2011
    Uriel wrote: »
    I have an email from them advertising it.

    It came with a DVD with avatar porno.


    back the fuck up

    again

    why are you getting promo emails from a fleshlight company

    T4CT on
  • WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    some folk own sex toys that aren't callius

    alert the citadel

    Weaver on
  • UrielUriel Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    I own one of the normal ones. Duh.
    Or do I.
    I do

    This is my favorite sex toy on the citadel.

    Uriel on
  • T4CTT4CT BAFTA-NOMINATED NAFTA-APPROVEDRegistered User regular
    edited January 2011
    i should probably be more specific

    why are the emailing you about crazy alien porn

    which checkbox did you check to start getting that email

    T4CT on
  • UrielUriel Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    I did not opt in for any giant blue chick porno.

    Uriel on
  • WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    t Blake I can't find a canon listing of the 5th fleet ship roster

    Weaver on
  • FlatEricFlatEric Leaves from the vine, Falling so slow Like fragile, tiny shells, Drifting in the foamRegistered User regular
    edited January 2011
    I suppose I should start posting in this thread now that I'm playing these games

    Really loving the first one so far

    FlatEric on
    S80hoUu.jpg
    hDrW8.png
  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    I think it was more the timing of the human fleet showing up when it did more then the size. the current fleet seemed to able to hold back most of the geth, it was mostly the giant space god fucking shit up.

    Only reason saving the what's it came up was because the leaders of space were on it.

    Melding on
  • SLyMSLyM Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    FlatEric wrote: »
    I suppose I should start posting in this thread now that I'm playing these games

    Really loving the first one so far
    nooo, stop. These threads are minefields of unmarked spoilers. I literally had the same thought with the last thread. I shouldn't even be in this one but the discussion of alien fleshlights kept me reading.

    SLyM on
    My friend is working on a roguelike game you can play if you want to. (It has free demo)
  • theSquidtheSquid Sydney, AustraliaRegistered User regular
    edited January 2011
    Did Kasumi's mission.

    FOUND A CREDIT

    theSquid on
  • FlatEricFlatEric Leaves from the vine, Falling so slow Like fragile, tiny shells, Drifting in the foamRegistered User regular
    edited January 2011
    SLyM wrote: »
    FlatEric wrote: »
    I suppose I should start posting in this thread now that I'm playing these games

    Really loving the first one so far
    nooo, stop. These threads are minefields of unmarked spoilers. I literally had the same thought with the last thread. I shouldn't even be in this one but the discussion of alien fleshlights kept me reading.

    Yeah I got through half the last comment and decided against it

    Maybe in a few months when I've finished both games

    FlatEric on
    S80hoUu.jpg
    hDrW8.png
  • BYToadyBYToady Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    Uriel wrote: »
    I own one of the normal ones. Duh.
    Or do I.
    I do

    This is my favorite sex toy on the citadel.

    Is it 1 to 1 scale? Like, could you wear it as a hat?

    BYToady on
    Battletag BYToady#1454
  • UrielUriel Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    BYToady wrote: »
    Uriel wrote: »
    I own one of the normal ones. Duh.
    Or do I.
    I do

    This is my favorite sex toy on the citadel.

    Is it 1 to 1 scale? Like, could you wear it as a hat?

    I didn't read it so thoroughly, but I imagine that would make it difficult to use for it's intended purpose.

    Uriel on
  • WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    hey humanity, no more dreads for you

    ok! *builds fleet of dread sized fighter carriers*

    Weaver on
  • WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    hurrrrrrrrrrrrf I don't read OPs

    Weaver on
  • DoobhDoobh She/Her, Ace Pan/Bisexual 8-) What's up, bootlickers?Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    ridiculously late

    Doobh on
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  • theSquidtheSquid Sydney, AustraliaRegistered User regular
    edited January 2011
    Aaaand did the Shadow Broker DLC.

    Grunt's dossier is my favourite.

    Man knows what to look at on the internet.

    theSquid on
  • LegbaLegba He did. Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    I can't wait to do the Shadow Broker. Overlord and Kasumi were both worth the price of admission and everyone keeps saying that the Shadow Broker is the best of the lot.

    Legba on
  • SolarSolar Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    I want Kelly to come back in the third game

    and for there to be some truly wierd-ass squadmates

    just so we can see just how deep the pit of depravity in her head really is

    Solar on
  • SeriouslySeriously Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    Kelly tries riding an Elcor

    but that's not how it works for them and in the end the Elcor can only stand there bemused as she bucks and gyrates wildly, whooping and yelping all the while


    Nonplussed: At least someone appears to be having a good time

    Seriously on
  • DoobhDoobh She/Her, Ace Pan/Bisexual 8-) What's up, bootlickers?Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    romancable vorcha teammate

    Doobh on
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  • DoobhDoobh She/Her, Ace Pan/Bisexual 8-) What's up, bootlickers?Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    WE BREAK CONDOM

    Doobh on
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  • SolarSolar Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    I'm just saying it would be great

    Like, you meet a Vorcha Squadmate and the first thing you think is "I can't wait to hear Kelly opinion on this bad boy." And then you get back and it turns out she's into violent sex where she can seriously injure the guy and he keeps going. Or a Hanar and she says that she wants to be smothered by it or some shit.

    Essentially Kelly is a sexual car crash which I cannot tear my eyes away from

    Solar on
  • #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    edited January 2011
    I can't help being into Kelly

    I have a thing for short hair

    and red heads

    and those lips

    #pipe on
  • FAQFAQ Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    does kelly sleep with a lot of aliens or something

    I must have completely missed this, then again I never got to take her to dinner either

    FAQ on
  • joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    edited January 2011
    #pipe wrote: »
    I can't help being into Kelly

    I have a thing for short hair

    and red heads

    and those lips

    And infections

    joshofalltrades on
  • #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    edited January 2011
    I don't have a thing for infections, no

    but I mean wrap it up tight and there's not a problem.

    can't get crabs if you shave your junk

    which I assume shepard does.

    #pipe on
  • Speed RacerSpeed Racer Scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratchRegistered User regular
    edited January 2011
    FAQ wrote: »
    does kelly sleep with a lot of aliens or something

    I must have completely missed this, then again I never got to take her to dinner either

    it's somewhat subtle

    if you talk to her after finishing a recruitment mission, she usually suggests that she finds the new crewmate attractive

    she also mentions that her job is to help the crew relax in any way she can in a way that's obviously charged with innuendo

    Mordin mentions that there's an STD on board that can only be contracted by fucking a varren. He also says that prolonged contact with drell can lead to hallucinations, and if you talk to Kelly after beating the game she has a Thane-style flashback to being trapped in the pod

    Speed Racer on
  • DoobhDoobh She/Her, Ace Pan/Bisexual 8-) What's up, bootlickers?Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    the flashback ain't indication of that at all, Speed

    Doobh on
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  • Speed RacerSpeed Racer Scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratchRegistered User regular
    edited January 2011
    it's the exact same style used

    whether or not that's what they actually meant by it is debatable but you can totally interpret it that way

    Speed Racer on
  • SolarSolar Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    It sort of is

    Drell can bestow those effects on those they are in contact with

    Kelly has those effects when you talk to her

    Ergo: Kelly was in almost certainly close, prolonged contact with a Drell on the ship

    unf unf unf

    Solar on
This discussion has been closed.