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Advice for moving on? or Just some reassurance?

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    schussschuss Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    Druhim wrote: »
    I have to agree with LastCastle, take slider's feedback with a big grain of salt. He's comparing two situations that just aren't that similar. Don't get mad, just be strong and get on with your life and get her out of it. Don't waste time on revenge. That costs you more in the long run by how it changes you as a person. Get out of this as cleanly as you can and burntheladle has a good point. Change how the apartment looks. Rearrange stuff, new sheets. Basically switch it up so everything doesn't remind you of her.

    Also, if you need to, spend a day or two just letting go and being really sad, then be done with it.

    schuss on
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    SliderSlider Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    Anger doesn't work. Just tried it. Also, I went to the gym and am feeling only slightly better.

    I think she may have moved in with another guy. *sigh* 2011 is not going so well.

    Slider on
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    Captain MarcusCaptain Marcus now arrives the hour of actionRegistered User regular
    edited January 2011
    Don't contact her at all. Delete her from your phone, facebook, email, whatever. Don't answer if she calls you. It's helping me a bunch, and I hope it helps you.

    Captain Marcus on
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    Gandalf_the_CrazedGandalf_the_Crazed Vigilo ConfidoRegistered User regular
    edited January 2011
    Something I was thinking about today at work: In addition to the fact that you should completely remove her from your life, I have to ask...are you friends with the guy in question? (This may have been answered in your other threads, I don't know.) If so, make sure you jettison him from your life as well. You don't need or want either of them.

    Gandalf_the_Crazed on
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    ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning And the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator mod
    edited January 2011
    Slider, this is seriously not your thread to complain about your past relationship. Please stop.

    ceres on
    And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
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    DarkMechaDarkMecha The Outer SpaceRegistered User regular
    edited January 2011
    I'm going through something really similar myself, though my relationship was only 3.5 years instead of 10. It hurts like hell all the same, and I'm trying to move on with my life too. I couldn't imagine still living with her though, that has to be very rough.

    If your like me, your probably wondering how this person who you thought the world of would just throw away so many years of happiness together in the blink of an eye. At least for me, thinking about that has made it hard to move on, but it's a question you simply cannot answer, only they can. Either way, the answer probably doesn't matter. So it's best to will yourself to just not think about it as best you can. Working out, doing things you enjoy (hobbies, gaming, social stuff ect) helps a lot. Anything to keep yourself from drowning in memories of the past and what-if scenarios. In the end though, time is the only real thing that will help you move on emotionally. It just takes time to work through the hurt, emotions, and thoughts. So definitely talk about it and work through it, just don't let it consume you. Also be sure not to get too emotionally involved with anyone until you've moved on. It's not good for yourself or anyone you might meet.

    I hope this advice is of use, and I hope I can follow it myself...moving on, giving up on someone you love, it's so hard. The one thing I don't know how to do is stop loving someone...even when they hurt me so badly.

    DarkMecha on
    Steam Profile | My Art | NID: DarkMecha (SW-4787-9571-8977) | PSN: DarkMecha
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    NamrokNamrok Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    So far as the actual process of splitting up goes. Don't speak to her. Remove her from all social networking. When it comes to dividing property, have a friend mediate. But do not see her, do not speak to her, try as hard as you can to keep her out of your mind. Make sure your friends know not to share any details about her with you. You might be curious, but its for your own good. Maybe when you've healed some you can follow up on WTF happened. But right now you need to focus on the raw physical aspect of breaking the fuck up.

    Namrok on
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    KistraKistra Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    I'm going to have to disagree with Namrok. Resolve the financial issues ASAP but do it in person, doing it through a mediator is just going to drag it out much longer. Then cut off all contact.

    Kistra on
    Animal Crossing: City Folk Lissa in Filmore 3179-9580-0076
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    NamrokNamrok Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    In my experience, having a mutual friend you both trust handle the communication of dividing up assets helps a lot. Both parties are more receptive to hearing these request from him, than the other party who's hurt their feelings. But, mileage may vary. It might slow things down going through a friend, but so does every discussion about it turning into a fight.

    But I guess that only really applies if things get ugly or you are afraid of them getting ugly.

    Namrok on
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    OnTheLastCastleOnTheLastCastle let's keep it haimish for the peripatetic Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    Paying someone to be neutral would be a lot better than a friend if we're talking about things with monetary value.

    OnTheLastCastle on
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