Plan B - Help me not freak?

Thisistotallyanalt

Hey PA - I just had sex. I feel like shit. It was my first time and we didn't use protection. She was on top and we cut it short, because I felt like I might cum. When I pulled out and she started to go down on me, I was quickly getting flaccid. Needless to say, I freaked. The angle (and...vigor) with her on top was such that I wouldn't be surprised if I came without knowing it.

Having expressed my concern (she knew I still had the V card) we talked about Plan B - she's coming to pick me up soon. If the pharmacy is open that will make it roughly 3 and a half hours between the unprotected sex and her taking the pill. This is going to be a shit week and I need your help to keep me sane. What are the stats behind the morning after pill? I can find various figures online, but I know things change the sooner she pops the pill.

Feel free to rip me a new one, I feel like an absolute asshole and I've never REALLY understood the term "thinking with your dick" until now. I guess I'm just looking for general advice here - thanks for taking the time to read

OnTheLastCastle

You need to relax. Go to the planned parenthood website and look it up. Talk to the pharmacist.

RELAX.

You are going to be fine. Just stop having unprotected sex.

VisionOfClarity

3 hours is pretty damn quick to get Plan B so I wouldn't worry about that. It'd when you get into days that it becomes more of a problem. Make sure she follows the direction and you can ask the pharmacist to clarify anything you find confusing. It's pretty straight forward, depending on the type she'll either take one pill or take two pills some hours apart. While you're out buy a couple packs of condoms, try them out, and find one you're comfortable with using in the future. You may also want to encourage her to see her Gyno and go on bC of her own.

VisionOfClarity

Also, while I understand she says she's a virgin you may want to get an STD workup done at a local PP if you have one.

Druhim

While it's certainly possible she'll get pregnant and I can certainly understand you being scared about the possibility, you're doing something about it and the odds are pretty low that you'd get her pregnant the first time. So go ahead with her taking the plan B since she's on board with that. It will be stressful waiting to make sure she's not pregnant, but you're probably ok and it looks like you learned an important lesson.

Also seconding what Vision said. Don't trust her on this. It's not a judgment on her character, it's protecting your health. GET TESTED.

Esh

Druhim wrote: »

While it's certainly possible she'll get pregnant and I can certainly understand you being scared about the possibility, you're doing something about it and the odds are pretty low that you'd get her pregnant the first time. So go ahead with her taking the plan B since she's on board with that. It will be stressful waiting to make sure she's not pregnant, but you're probably ok and it looks like you learned an important lesson.

Also seconding what Vision said. Don't trust her on this. It's not a judgment on her character, it's protecting your health. GET TESTED.

They're as high as any other time (depending on where she is in her ovulation cycle).

Thisistotallyanalt

Thanks VoC, I hadn't really thought about getting tested but it's probably the right thing to do. She's not a virgin though, she's had multiple partners in the past - some older (We're 17). She is going on birth control herself, as she's had trouble getting off with condoms in the past. This is obviously a concern of mine, but I'm taking things as they come and I'll worry about that when I am a bit less freaked out.

Our age is another thing - She says seventeen is old enough to get Plan B without any kind of parent involvement, is this true?

e - you better believe I learned a fucking lesson

Adus

I don't see any part where he said she was a virgin.

edit: Course I post this a millisecond later than the op.

VisionOfClarity

It depends on your state hon but in most progressive states she can get it. I'd definitely get yourself tested if she's had multiple partners. And to be frank you're not ready to accept the risks of condomless sex (babies sucks at 17!), so wrap it up from now on. You can get her off plenty of other ways.

Thisistotallyanalt

We're in MA so I think we'll be okay, but I'll look that up now. I'll definitely reread this thread when I'm a bit less bugged out but right now I'm totally on board with condoms ALWAYS.

VisionOfClarity

There are lots of Planned Parenthood's in Eastern MA so definitely get yourself to one of them for testing. Call this number (800-258-4448) and find out where the closest one to you is and when you can make an appointment. They can tell you what you need to bring (insurance vs papers for sliding scale payment) and they can give their walk-in hours.

Added" And yes, in MA you can definitely get it at 17 without a prescription.

Aurora Borealis

If she has a problem with condoms it may be that she finds latex irritating. So when you go out and buy that sample pack of condoms, get some that are polyurethane or polyisoprene. Have a sexy fun time trying all the different condoms you can get until you find one that works for both of you.

Plan B is a fine medical product. You are in all likelyhood gonna be fine.

Learn to use your hands and tongue, BOTH of you. There is SOOOO much more to sex than Penis in Vagina babymaking.

Aphostile

If I remember right from working in a retail pharmacy Plan B runs roughly $45.45, plus or minus on taxes and such in your state. Just be prepared for that cost when you get there, I know some couples were shocked at the price.

It is also advised to be taken within the first 24 hours after "the sex" to be the most effective.

But always, always be calm and rational about things.

Kistra

The FDA approved Plan B as non-prescription for people 17 and older so you should be legally able to get it. Unfortunately, it is behind the counter like sudafed and there have been incidents where pharmacists have refused to give it to people or have lied and said it was out of stock. I would bet you will have better luck in MA than in some more conservative places but it wouldn't hurt to call ahead of time to double check it is in stock (according to the pharmacist on duty) where ever you are planning on going.

Definitely get tested for STDs.

Another common problem in addition to latex sensitivity is spermicide sensitivity so you might try getting some spermicide free condoms and seeing if she can get off with those.

Druhim

Esh wrote: »

Druhim wrote: »

While it's certainly possible she'll get pregnant and I can certainly understand you being scared about the possibility, you're doing something about it and the odds are pretty low that you'd get her pregnant the first time. So go ahead with her taking the plan B since she's on board with that. It will be stressful waiting to make sure she's not pregnant, but you're probably ok and it looks like you learned an important lesson.

Also seconding what Vision said. Don't trust her on this. It's not a judgment on her character, it's protecting your health. GET TESTED.

They're as high as any other time (depending on where she is in her ovulation cycle).

Yes, and the odds of getting pregnant from any single act of intercourse are pretty low. I'm glad we agree.

Thisistotallyanalt

thanks for the support guys - it's been a pretty crazy evening. certain things have come up that mean that neither of us can get out tonight and hit up the pharmacy. trust me when I say that we intended to at any cost. so it looks like tomorrow after school and before work we're going to CVS. the things I'm concerned about are
- still unsure about figures surrounding the pill. i've read that the odds of getting a girl pregnant are slim given one encounter, but of course it depends on where she is in her ovulation cycle, something i intend to talk to her about tonight. I know exploring the numbers isn't too helpful, as my mind will only be settled once she gets her period, but i can't help it.
- i'm treading on foreign soil over here, and i'm not sure how to treat this girl. we've been dating for not too long, but we accept mutual responsibility for what we both consider a tremendous fuckup. when she does take the pill(s) tomorrow, i know the hormone dump might mess with her system a bit, and things are going to be touchy as hell anyways given the situation. any advice regarding how i can stay with this girl and make sure we're both relatively happy in the near future?

VisionOfClarity

Go tomorrow before school if possible. Within 24 hours is the best. But the way to stay with her is to call her and ask her on a date and just go on a date (keep it in your pants for a little while Romeo) so that she knows you want to be with her.

Rikushix

Esh, I think Druhim means that having unprotected sex once isn't as risky as doing it several times.

Well, technically, it's equally risky every time you do it, but when grouped together, the law of averages says otherwise :P

adytum

OP, go on Plan B's website, there is a $10 manufactures coupon that your pharmacy will honor. http://www.planbonestep.com/coupon.aspx

MAKE SURE YOU CALL THE PHARMACY BEFORE YOU GO. You may have to call several to find one that has Plan B in stock.

Good luck.

Thisistotallyanalt

Well we picked up the pill this morning - so that makes it about 15 hours between sex and ingestion. Not too bad? She felt abdominal pain later, the kind she normally associates with her period, but that seems a bit early to mean anything significant.

I guess it's a waiting game right now. Thanks for the advice guys - I'm getting in contact with Planned Parenthood this afternoon

bowen

Kistra wrote: »

The FDA approved Plan B as non-prescription for people 17 and older so you should be legally able to get it. Unfortunately, it is behind the counter like sudafed and there have been incidents where pharmacists have refused to give it to people or have lied and said it was out of stock. I would bet you will have better luck in MA than in some more conservative places but it wouldn't hurt to call ahead of time to double check it is in stock (according to the pharmacist on duty) where ever you are planning on going.

Definitely get tested for STDs.

Another common problem in addition to latex sensitivity is spermicide sensitivity so you might try getting some spermicide free condoms and seeing if she can get off with those.

Could also have been "climax control" with some sort of numbing agent. Though I'm not sure if they put that on the outside of the condom, worth a thought though.

Esh

Rikushix wrote: »

Esh, I think Druhim means that having unprotected sex once isn't as risky as doing it several times.

Well, technically, it's equally risky every time you do it, but when grouped together, the law of averages says otherwise :P

Yeah, but there are urban legends about "Can't get pregnant the first time". Best to be clear about those things with people who are inexperienced.

HeraldS

Thisistotallyanalt wrote: »

Well we picked up the pill this morning - so that makes it about 15 hours between sex and ingestion. Not too bad? She felt abdominal pain later, the kind she normally associates with her period, but that seems a bit early to mean anything significant.

I guess it's a waiting game right now. Thanks for the advice guys - I'm getting in contact with Planned Parenthood this afternoon

For the next time:

-While it's best to take it as soon as possible, getting Plan B within 48-72 hours of sexing is acceptable.
-You will know when you cum, and you will know when you do it in her. It sounds like neither happened this time, so relax.
-The best way to kill what you have with this girl is to freak out about this incident and start treating her differently. You had a scare, you took the appropriate measures, and now it's back to business.

Druhim

Esh wrote: »

Rikushix wrote: »

Esh, I think Druhim means that having unprotected sex once isn't as risky as doing it several times.

Well, technically, it's equally risky every time you do it, but when grouped together, the law of averages says otherwise :P

Yeah, but there are urban legends about "Can't get pregnant the first time". Best to be clear about those things with people who are inexperienced.

That would be understandable, if I'd said that.

Thisistotallyanalt

Thanks HeraldS, all supremely sound advice.

bowen

Druhim wrote: »

Esh wrote: »

Rikushix wrote: »

Esh, I think Druhim means that having unprotected sex once isn't as risky as doing it several times.

Well, technically, it's equally risky every time you do it, but when grouped together, the law of averages says otherwise :P

Yeah, but there are urban legends about "Can't get pregnant the first time". Best to be clear about those things with people who are inexperienced.

That would be understandable, if I'd said that.

You didn't say that specifically.

Druhim wrote: »

Yes, and the odds of getting pregnant from any single act of intercourse are pretty low. I'm glad we agree.

You don't want a newbie getting stuck because "hey, we only did it once every few days." Which is what Esh was concerned about. Not unfounded at all. Or, not taking Plan B because your chances are low. That strikes me as pretty risky behavior and thinking.

Rikushix

bowen wrote: »

Druhim wrote: »

Esh wrote: »

Rikushix wrote: »

Esh, I think Druhim means that having unprotected sex once isn't as risky as doing it several times.

Well, technically, it's equally risky every time you do it, but when grouped together, the law of averages says otherwise :P

Yeah, but there are urban legends about "Can't get pregnant the first time". Best to be clear about those things with people who are inexperienced.

That would be understandable, if I'd said that.

You didn't say that specifically.

Druhim wrote: »

Yes, and the odds of getting pregnant from any single act of intercourse are pretty low. I'm glad we agree.

You don't want a newbie getting stuck because "hey, we only did it once every few days." Which is what Esh was concerned about. Not unfounded at all. Or, not taking Plan B because your chances are low. That strikes me as pretty risky behavior and thinking.

Probably a good idea. Considering that guy the other day who suggested doubling up on condoms.

Thanks Esh.

Robman

Split the cost between you on the Plan B, you're both responsible.

If you want to continue having condomless sex, then have her get a Mirena or a Nuvaring. Condoms are bad for birth control, but good for reducing STD risk. Hormones are great for birth control, and the Nuvaring or the Mirena provide excellent efficacy with a minuscule amount of hormone, greatly reducing side effects.