Is it ok to experiment with the same sex?
anonymooose
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
I'm a 19 year old guy. I've always had curious feelings about other men, but I've never acted on them and it's never really been a big part of my life.
However, a few weeks ago, I met a homosexual male and we've been hanging out a bit. He kinda sensed that I was curious, and asked if I wanted to try it out with him. Should I? The thought of it excites me, but for some reason I'm scared of regretting it afterwards, and I can't say why.
Thoughts?
However, a few weeks ago, I met a homosexual male and we've been hanging out a bit. He kinda sensed that I was curious, and asked if I wanted to try it out with him. Should I? The thought of it excites me, but for some reason I'm scared of regretting it afterwards, and I can't say why.
Thoughts?
anonymooose on
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the worst thing that could happen would be "Well, that was lame, turns out I'm straight."
pretty much this. If you're curious, then try it. There isn't anything wrong at all, just remember to be safe about it though.
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Edit: Yes, practice safe sex.
Or are you worried in the sense that "regret it" means "I won't ever want to see this guy I'm friends with again." That one is more complicated and something you'll have to decide for yourself if you want to risk it.
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good luck and have fun
do you have any sexual experience with women yet?
Be safe. ;-)
The tl:dr is that quite a lot of straight people try or want to try and have gay sex.
you're allowed to experiment at any age!
and OP: Dan Savage is always related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajR9PLvN73k
you're bi-curious!
I advise you to try that stuff out
And just in case you actually worry about that: You'll still like girls just as much as you do now. Experimenting's about discovery, not change - you might find you like guys more than you thought, even if you still decide that's a part of you you're not going to explore again. You're not going to change teams from one night, though. Sleeping with a guy doesn't make you more gay than you were any more than eating a hot dog makes you like burgers less.
Curiosity's normal. Depending on which study you pick, many and quite possibly most straight people are at least a bit bisexual. The worst thing that could happen is that you never do it again but have still found a better way to reconcile that fact than the homophobia that's still pretty much the norm.
Not knowing anything about you, we have no way of knowing whether that would be the case. There are the usual issues that exist with any hookup (like, if it could negatively impact your friendship with him). And, depending on where you live and your social circle, there may be negative effects if other people find out you hooked up with someone of the same sex.
But the answers to those questions are something only you can know.
Rigorous Scholarship
Honestly, the worst that can happen is he will regret it, or it will get weird, and he loses a friend.
That can happen any time sex comes between a friendship.
But it is much more likely in this instance.
So OP, consider how important the friendship is to you, because sex will change the nature of the relationship, and could end the friendship.
I've heard of countless of cases where a young man has "experimented" a bit and been talked into being the receiver of some anal intercourse without much preparation.
When I was younger, I always considered myself to be a pretty open-ended dude. No real boundaries or limits, no real sense of the lines between bi or gay or pan, not enough experience to know what I would or would not be comfortable with doing. I often thought I might be gay and just not know it. I certainly had enough of the stereotypical traits; I liked theatre, art, poetry, hated alpha-male situations, I liked style and fashion, I had a lot of gay friends, and absolutely obsessed with girls and sex (which at that time pointed to covering repressed homosexual tendancies). Anyways, had a pretty close encounter with one of my gay friends, and I remember hitting the line.
Not just a line, an abyss really. Just standing there right on the edge of it. And where I was, that was okay, everything was just fine; but over there in gayland, just one step away, was nothingness. No feelings, no real emotions, just nothing. Nothing to cross over to, no particular reason to do it, and moreover, a general feeling that I had no particular place or business in being there. It was the first time I'd ever encountered a personal boundary, and it was more odd because I didn't even realize that there would be a boundary there.
At that particular moment, I realized that I was straight. Absolutely and completely. Question asked, question answered, and it was time to move on. Now I'm not saying you'll have the same answer, but from time to time, there's really only the one way to ask.
You not only need to practice safe sex, but safe social choices. What you do behind closed doors is your bidness - however, you need to make sure that this "bidness" is ok potentially being shared outside your comfort zone. Guys talk just as much as ladies, and if you're not comfortable with your personal business (especially if you decide its NOT something you wanted) being out there - then you may want to reconsider.
In my experience, a gay man who has sex with a straight(?) guy will not be quick to spread that information to that guys straight friends, because that's a sure way to dry that well up instantly.
Don't be shocked if he brags about it to his gay friends though. That's kind of a big notch to have in ones belt.
The question is imo just "is it ok to experiment with sex?"
The answer of course being "yes, be safe and have fun."
Entirely. I'm actually bisexual. Why do you ask?
I don't think he was asking you.
Whoops. My reading was he regarded my suggestion to 'keep it a secret' unless he ended up discovering he was gay/bi homophobic.
Oh well, I just outed myself.
if there's one thing anal requires, it's preparation
if the OP wants to learn more, just say so, I am a vault of knowledge on the subject :V
the worst that can happen is some dude is rockin' your can and you're like man this is totally sweet
Fucking love you, Whippy
Or better yet:
Make another help thread regarding anal sex.
But really, you shouldn't be thinking of anal sex when you're curious about experimenting with the same sex. Start off with just some regular intimacy and maybe mutual penile stimulation if things get heated.
not interested in doing the anal thing.
I guess theres a whole lot of different homosexuals.. kinda like there's a lot of different hetero's
We're all just a bunch of dudes trying to get our nuts drained
Some people in D&D [chat] got their preconceptions rocked when each and every one of the gay men there chimed in one after the other stating that we didn't do the anal thing.
It is not as ubiquitous as a lot of heterosexual men assume.
And I will third (fourth?) the suggestion that anal play not be involved in a first time sexual encounter with another guy.
Good luck!
Fixed.
In seriousness, though. As long as only you and this other person know about it then I don't see the particularly big deal. Just get it out of your system in a responsible way and then you'll know just a little bit more about yourself.