Vengeance is mine!

Grandaddy Delicious

ITT we discus your best revenge stories. A lot of you are sadistic freaks, and I'd like to hear of your tails of conquest.

When I was a freshman in college, I was overweight. One day while I was in the shower, one of the guys on my hall (who was a total dick), came and stole my clothes. I wrapped the shower curtain around myself and came out to get into my room and found that he had locked me out of it from the outside with a rubber band. I took it all in stride until he started yanking off my curtain and yelling "Hey Everybody! Come see how fat GDD is!"

That night I set my alarm for 3 A.M.

I went to the 24 Hour Wal-Mart and bought scisors and glue. When I got back at 3:45, I trimmed off all my pubes and put them in a plastic baggie. I snuck into his room, and lightly poured glue across his face. Then, ever so carefully, I evenly coated his face in my pubes.

So doggies, what degree of revenge have you dished out upon the unsuspecting?

Larlar

A policeman once tried to give me a speeding ticket, so I cut off his hands and yelled "HANDS OFF!"

Callius

I once sexually assaulted a girl in her sleep because she wouldn't have sex with me.

OH WAIT!

Weaver

Callius wrote:

I once sexually assaulted a girl in her sleep because she wouldn't have sex with me.

OH WAIT!

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPS!

Starfuck

bang bang

tugga

my roommate stayed on the phone all night (again)

so i came in his soap, and wiped my ass with his washcloth..

i saw him use it on his face once..

TheySlashThem

Weaver wrote:

Callius wrote:

I once sexually assaulted a girl in her sleep because she wouldn't have sex with me.

OH WAIT!

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPS!

(relevant image would normally go here, but I'm at campus right now)

TheBlackWind

That's a pretty good story GDD.

Kind of makes me afraid to point out the fact that it's "vengeance" :P

Quadrophenia

The other night I was drunk and pissed in my friend's bathtub/shower. He didn't do anything wrong, I was just drunk.

Drez

Guy was trying to cockblock me, so I casually dropped into conversation with the girl how he fucked a different coworker in the back of a cab while I was sitting next to them and so was another coworker.

It was true too. And had the intended effect.

Butters

TheBlackWind wrote:

That's a pretty good story GDD.

Kind of makes me afraid to point out the fact that it's "vengeance" :P

Oh snap!

lostwords

I pushed a girl off the swings for calling me "poopface", then I rubbed her face in the playground woodchips.


Last week was pretty awesome.

Seph

i threw a rock at a girl because she was pestering me

Dread Pirate Arbuthnot

I once replaced all of my brother's iPod with files that had names like Pink Floyd - Free Four but in reality all Aqua and I'm Blue and whatnot.

So he tried to put itching powder on my tampons

So I kicked him in the balls.

Darth Waiter

My ex ditched me on our anniversary and I got drunk and played Diablo 2 on Battlenet while she tried to apologize.

"I'm so sorry."

"Make yourself at home, honey. Me and the boys are in for a long night of farming. I'm afraid we don't have any booze left, just beer."

"But I hate beer."

"And I hate tardiness. I did get you a nice watch for our 1 year, though. Should help you to keep abreast of the time."

J. Grant

A man who broke into my apartment and bragged about it later apparently had his jeep set on fire.

Oh, the foibles of youth.

satansfingers

someone get fatalerror in here

tugga

ever thrown a hot wheels car in close quarters?

yea, i did that to my brother and he had to get stitches..

fucker shouldnt have deleted my FFX game

Quadrophenia

Wouldn't he have to open up the tampon package to do that? You'd easily notice. What a retard.

Monkeybomb

The Good Captain Cass wrote:

I once replaced all of my brother's iPod with files that had names like Pink Floyd - Free Four but in reality all Aqua and I'm Blue and whatnot.

So he tried to put itching powder on my tampons

So I kicked him in the balls.

holy damn, wouldn't that, like, kill you

Einhander

One time I got mad at my boss at my job so I stopped going.

In retrospect that was a bad idea.

Dread Pirate Arbuthnot

Quadrophenia wrote:

Wouldn't he have to open up the tampon package to do that? You'd easily notice. What a retard.

He resealed the package with a bit of glue from a glue gun.

Seph

one time i punched a girl in the stomach for trying to kick me in the balls

Defender

tugga06 wrote:

my roommate stayed on the phone all night (again)

so i came in his soap, and wiped my ass with his washcloth..

i saw him use it on his face once..

Cal, since you're attacking Pk so relentlessly, perhaps you will recognize that this is ethically equivalent and will attack this with equal ferocity.

GABBO GABBO GABBO

Callius wrote:

I once sexually assaulted a girl in her sleep because she wouldn't have sex with me.

OH WAIT!

HEEEYOOOOOOOOOO!

GABBO GABBO GABBO

Defender wrote:

tugga06 wrote:

my roommate stayed on the phone all night (again)

so i came in his soap, and wiped my ass with his washcloth..

i saw him use it on his face once..

Cal, since you're attacking Pk so relentlessly, perhaps you will recognize that this is ethically equivalent and will attack this with equal ferocity.

Why are you defending pk?

Callius

Defender wrote:

tugga06 wrote:

my roommate stayed on the phone all night (again)

so i came in his soap, and wiped my ass with his washcloth..

i saw him use it on his face once..

Cal, since you're attacking Pk so relentlessly, perhaps you will recognize that this is ethically equivalent and will attack this with equal ferocity.

I might, but there's only enough hate for one in me.

Drez

This was going to be a post where I pretended that the story of the Count of Monte Cristo was really my story but I decided to skip the pretense and research involved and posted this instead.

Enjoy.

Defender

Einhander wrote:

One time I got mad at my boss at my job so I stopped going.

In retrospect that was a bad idea.

Good avatar to go with this post. Would also have accepted an Office Space avatar.

Krummith

When I was much younger, a guy was a complete ass to one of my female friends while they were dating.
Late at night we covered his car windows in bologna, then coated the car in molasses and flour. We then spray painted his hubcaps and wrote "FUCK YOU" in his gravel driveway. We then coated his lawn in gasoline and set it on fire, and then ran for it.

While we were running, we wound up going across the spray paint.

The guy called the cops, who then suspected that it was gang related due to the tagging on his driveway.

For quite a few years he kept getting hassled by cops and other authority figures because of his "gang affiliation"

Defender

Callius wrote:

Defender wrote:

tugga06 wrote:

my roommate stayed on the phone all night (again)

so i came in his soap, and wiped my ass with his washcloth..

i saw him use it on his face once..

Cal, since you're attacking Pk so relentlessly, perhaps you will recognize that this is ethically equivalent and will attack this with equal ferocity.

I might, but there's only enough hate for one in me.

Who do you think you're fooling with this routine? This is Defender. I know that one target is not the limit of what you can handle.

PiptheFair

Krummith wrote:

When I was much younger, a guy was a complete ass to one of my female friends while they were dating.
Late at night we covered his car windows in bologna, then coated the car in molasses and flour. We then spray painted his hubcaps and wrote "FUCK YOU" in his gravel driveway. We then coated his lawn in gasoline and set it on fire, and then ran for it.

While we were running, we wound up going across the spray paint.

The guy called the cops, who then suspected that it was gang related due to the tagging on his driveway.

For quite a few years he kept getting hassled by cops and other authority figures because of his "gang affiliation"

define complete ass

Larlar

A policeman once tried to arrest me for cutting off his partner's hands, so I cut off his hands and yelled "HANDS OFF!"

Quadrophenia

PipTheFair wrote:

Krummith wrote:

When I was much younger, a guy was a complete ass to one of my female friends while they were dating.
Late at night we covered his car windows in bologna, then coated the car in molasses and flour. We then spray painted his hubcaps and wrote "FUCK YOU" in his gravel driveway. We then coated his lawn in gasoline and set it on fire, and then ran for it.

While we were running, we wound up going across the spray paint.

The guy called the cops, who then suspected that it was gang related due to the tagging on his driveway.

For quite a few years he kept getting hassled by cops and other authority figures because of his "gang affiliation"

define complete ass

Yeah, I have a feeling whatever the guy did didn't warrant all this shit.

Dr_Keenbean

I had an ex cheat on me. Also she was a total bitch leading up to that.

Years later, before moving, I was cleaning and found a video tape of her stripping for me.

I put it in her parent's mailbox.

scarlet st.

PipTheFair wrote:

Krummith wrote:

When I was much younger, a guy was a complete ass to one of my female friends while they were dating.
Late at night we covered his car windows in bologna, then coated the car in molasses and flour. We then spray painted his hubcaps and wrote "FUCK YOU" in his gravel driveway. We then coated his lawn in gasoline and set it on fire, and then ran for it.

While we were running, we wound up going across the spray paint.

The guy called the cops, who then suspected that it was gang related due to the tagging on his driveway.

For quite a few years he kept getting hassled by cops and other authority figures because of his "gang affiliation"

define complete ass

Yeah, that's, ah

that's pretty fucking brutal arson right there.

Larlar

A retired policeman once tried to cut off my hands for cutting off his hands, so I glued his hands back on and yelled "THERE YOU GO!"

Krummith

PipTheFair wrote:

Krummith wrote:

When I was much younger, a guy was a complete ass to one of my female friends while they were dating.
Late at night we covered his car windows in bologna, then coated the car in molasses and flour. We then spray painted his hubcaps and wrote "FUCK YOU" in his gravel driveway. We then coated his lawn in gasoline and set it on fire, and then ran for it.

While we were running, we wound up going across the spray paint.

The guy called the cops, who then suspected that it was gang related due to the tagging on his driveway.

For quite a few years he kept getting hassled by cops and other authority figures because of his "gang affiliation"

define complete ass

Stole from her, cheated on her, general ass type activities. This stunt was due to a particularly bad night when she caught him cheating. They lived not 2 blocks from each other, and while out for a walk she caught the two of them making out in his car parked while parked in his driveway. Dumbass.

Katchem_ash

Once a guy in my College called me an "Anime Freak" and kept calling me the "anime guy". My Vengence? Kept wearing shirts which had anime characters on then, front and back, and words like "Oh How you wish you could be me" or even the classic "I'm doing you a favor, As I'm taking all your money, I guess I should feel sorry but I don't even trust me, There's bad news creeping up and you feel a sudden chill How do you do? My name is trouble, I'm coming in for the kill and you know I will" from Megadeath.

Used to piss him off to no end.

Anyway Sakura approves this thread

Drez

I have trouble believing Larlar's anecdotes.

Katchem, if you post that one more time I will fuck you like you've never been fucked before.

scarlet st.

ugh...