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Weed: When (if) should I be worried?
anotheralt
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Using an alt to protect the innocent.
Lately I been noticing my younger brother (21) becoming a bit of a pot head. He seems to post daily updates about him getting high, and some of these are pretty damn early in the morning. Seems like it's the first thing he does when he wakes ups sometimes.
I don't have a problem with weed (never been my thing though) and never gave much thought to him smoking. It just recently struck me that he seems to have turned it from something recreational or something to do with friends to just a daily habit kind of thing.
Like I said, don't have much experience with weed. So am I blowing things out of proportion?
Lately I been noticing my younger brother (21) becoming a bit of a pot head. He seems to post daily updates about him getting high, and some of these are pretty damn early in the morning. Seems like it's the first thing he does when he wakes ups sometimes.
I don't have a problem with weed (never been my thing though) and never gave much thought to him smoking. It just recently struck me that he seems to have turned it from something recreational or something to do with friends to just a daily habit kind of thing.
Like I said, don't have much experience with weed. So am I blowing things out of proportion?
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That said, your brother is an adult. Treat him like one. Voice your concern but the decision is ultimately his. At the very least, he should be refraining from advertising his drug use online. That shit will bite him in the ass eventually, as our online presence is becoming more and more melded with our real-life presence. Today, an employer might just look you up on Facebook, but who knows how thorough they'll be 15 years from now.
Just talk to your brother, I doubt he will listen, but at least you could try.
Let's be more concerned with the penalties for holding, purchasing or transporting marijuana than whether your brother will become a lazy layabout. These laws are EXTREMELY unevenly enforced, down to the prosecutor or judge being able to either throw a significant book at you or slap your wrist and put you in timeout.
Does he
- Live by himself / with roommates / with family?
- Live in a city where medical marijuana is legal and distributed?
Do you know any more details that you're willing to give out?
My biggest worry for you is buying from a drug dealer in a fashion that police are conditioned to catch him by and sinking all his money into pot when it should go to things that last longer than a week.
I'm sorry, but that's probably not because of weed.
OP, you should be concerned, because he's probably not getting high every day because he likes pot so much. He's probably pretty unhappy with his life right now. I'd talk with him about it, let him know it worries you, but don't be overbearing and don't be oppressive.
I have some friends that smoke daily, and in every one of their cases they're self medicating. Some of them are really intelligent, some of them are just dumb. But in every one of their cases, pot has slowed them down a bit. But if they quit for at least 3 months, all of those effects seem to go away. I used to be a huge stoner, and after quitting I found that it took about 2 months to come back entirely. It definitely has effects on you, but the biggest confirmed problem I've seen are kids who smoke in highschool have a higher chance of developing mental illnesses later in life. If he's 21, I wouldn't worry about the physical effect, so much as the emotional one. Honestly, that's how I would approach drug abuse concerns anyway, but with pot you really don't have to worry about long-term physical or mental detriment.
It's really stupid and can come back to bite you in the ass.
That's true. When it becomes a "habit" (totally non-judgmental with that) it sort of takes away from the effect. I don't think it consumes your life like a harder drug, but having your life revolve around a substance, addicting or not, isn't healthy.
Does he use it to 'get through' things that he'd otherwise do completely sober?
Also, I can't fucking stand the whole "Theres much worse that he could be doing". We could all have worse habits than we have, it doesn't mean we shouldn't worry about the ones we do have though, especially if they are in any way harmful.
I have no real opinion on the drug itself, I've known a dude who weed totally destroyed, and a person who weed toned down their ADHD and they worked their ass off on it constantly. I would just open up a discussion with him, as your bro to tell you what he thinks and inform you, you'll get a sense of how its effecting him.
How does a habit equate to having your life revolve around a substance?
When you're almost out, you're calling people up for pot. When its a certain time you feel weird not smoking. If you're watching something, it would be better if you were watching it after smoking. Hey lets go see a movie, wait I have to smoke a bowl. Resin hits. I have the best dreams after smoking etc.
I'm not quite sure if habit is the right word or not but its the best I could describe it. And the part with revolving you're life around it isn't as all consuming as I'm guessing a meth or heroin addiction is... But that was just my experience though. Nowhere near addiction, but far beyond casual use.
The waking up and smoking part if what resonated with me the most, except for me it was smoking before sleeping. I stopped being a pot-head and was pretty fine with it. But I just didn't know what to do with myself when random things that I'd use to do high popped up. Felt weird/awkward, and kinda had to re-learn doing them sober. Except re-learn doesn't quite explain it...
The 'posting about getting high online' thing is definitely silly, though. I hope it's not on Facebook or something similarly attached to his real-world persona.
That being said (despite my own thoughts about it) it is illegal and therefore categorically retarded of your brother to be posting online about it. Unless you bring to light some ground-shaking information in a new post I really don't think you have anything at all to worry about.
They also probably all drink water everyday, but that's not making them self aborbed, depressed, and reclusive.
Weed is in the category of "There's much worse that he could be doing" because it's not bad for you.
If you're already lazy, it can exacerbate that. I know some people that love to get high and go exercise though. Anecdotal evidence=/= evidence
For the OP, just be honest with your brother. Tell him you're a bit concerned and make sure he knows what he's doing. I find that generally people that are most negatively affected by pot didn't do any research on it before they started, they just did it because of peer pressure or whatever. Knowing wether your brother is educated about it is important. Especially about his legal rights and whatnot. I'd talk to him as a concerned brother, but one that trusts his brother's decisions. And he doesn't have any legitimate medical use for it, right?
edit: oh and dear lord tell him to stop the facebook crap. That shit is dangerous for future jobs and such.
I want to say I mostly agree with you, and I don't mean to debate but it's worth mentioning that: Pot is probably bad for you. Your lungs. He probably doesn't have a vaporizer. It's just not super bad for you and there are probably good things about it, too.
And the lazy thing, it mostly depends on the kind of pot you smoke. If you get an indica, yeah, you're probably going to turn into a couch potato and just be out of it. You'll get stoned. If you grab a sativa like Northern Lights or Kush you'll get high, or sometimes even energized. And this varies, depending on the smoker, and the quality of the pot you're smoking, but yeah. I just wanted to kind of take out that misconception that pot will turn you into this recluse or slowmobile.
Echo on FB status, that shit sticks and the smell is terrible.
Personally, I think the stuff is boring as hell, and it's way more than likely not something to worry about. If he say, loses his job over it, sure, but until that happens, you have no business getting in his.
Note: I'm not seeking info on how people totally know guys that can get like a full kilo for 10 bucks of goooood shiiiiit, I'd say the same thing to someone who started smoking a pack or two a day; that shit is a cost that adds up over time. So are Magic cards, I'm not being judgmental, merely pointing out that it can be a consideration.
Roger.
@OP: You obviously feel at least somewhat concerned about a change in his behavior. Trust your gut and speak to him. You are his older brother, that is your job. At the very least let him know that posting on FB about his drug use is futurcide.
But I definitely concur...give him a dope-slap about posting it online.
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I wanted to add, more directly to the OP, when my sister started smoking I had some concerns (because she's in highschool, and pretty young, and it's not good for kids). And she was actually really responsive (and she cut back a bit for me), and I just called to ask her why, and she told her it was mostly because of how respectful I was about it. She just didn't feel judged by me, so it wasn't a problem. I figured that was why, but people really pick up on that.
That said, a lot of people aren't responsible with it, and it can fuck up your life, and I'm not gonna lie, I've probably turned in homework late or lazed around more than I should because of it too.
You should find out if your brother is depressed or just bored with his life and feeling kind of listless at 21.
If the OP wants to talk to his brother, it should be more in the context of "You're kind of just bumming around, not going anywhere" rather than "I think this weed is poisoning your mind". And obviously, not posting stuff online about it.
Honestly I'd say its probably a phase that he'll grow out of. No reason to worry unless it is impacting other parts of his life, like he is failing school or fucking up at work or something.
The only real problem is based on the brothers other behaviors which we know little about. It can be a way of coping like anything else, where watching TV or playing games is unproductive, smoking can be destructive and posting about it on the internet is kind of future stupid.
I'm all for free will and doing whatever you like as long as it's not hurting anyone, but if it's hurting him and by extension the people around him, talk to him about it. Odds are he's just bored an unmotivated and it's a symptom of that.
Having a decent and respectful conversation (while he's sober) and finding out what he plans on doing with his time is probably a great idea. Mention the pot smoking only as a sidenote of concern, if at all.
edit: I smoked, a lot, because I was bored and somewhat down. By extension I merely delayed dealing with a lot of stuff I should have handled, while it wasn't being stoned that led me to poor decisions, it let me put off any decision at all a few days at a time. I eventually got bored with it, then noticed what opportunities I'd missed.
bitching about is not going to work at all.
I don't use weed; don't like the effect, but I know people who do.
Talk to him. Find out why he is smoking it so much - what's going on with him, his life, is there a reason (beyond he likes it) why he's smoking so much. Is he self-medicating, if so, is there an alternative that might work more effectively?
Yes, there's the legal argument - its just as illegal in the UK as in the USA - but that's not as important as what's going on with him imho. Keeping communication lines open are crucial, let him know you know, and are concerned about it, ask him about it.
He does need to know that posting about it on FB is incredibly foolish, or posting about it anywhere is - even I can internet stalk people, and have found out all sorts of things about people. People in the UK have lost their jobs because of inappropriate FB use.
The most important thing is to talk to him about it.
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"The power of the weirdness compels me."
Taking into account the other advice, I think it is clear that you should talk to him.
If you want to make it about him smoking so much, that is fine, but I think the most immediate & easiest to win debate is the posting about it. I facebook search EVERY potential hire in my department. Most employers do now. People search on social media sites on a regular basis before hiring people.
Is he destroying his *insert personal quality here*? I don't even think you need to open that can of worms. Just let him know that it looks like he might be having some rough times when you see him constantly writing about getting high, and that a potential employer will think the same thing. Remind him that even if he makes it private to his wall, a friend can repost, and that friend may not have the same privacy settings.
Warn him that he is sending a message to his friends that says, "I openly discuss breaking the law on my facebook. Feel free to tag me in those photos of me hilariously stoned last night." A photo of him breaking the law with his name attached to it is not going to endear him to a future employer.
I will tend to smoke a lot more regularly while on holiday, depending on who I'm hanging out with. I'll generally cut down drastically when term rolls around. If he's on some sort of break, he might just be trying to 'make the most of it'.
I'd probably ask him what's up. If his 'habit' is changing, there's probably some sort of reason behind it. Just mention that it seems like he's been smoking a lot lately and see what he says. But I wouldn't jump to any conclusions that he's in trouble. And no matter what, do not be judgemental/critical. If there really is some sort of problem, the very last thing you need is for him to feel like he has to hide it from you.
But regardless, like others have said: he really needs to not advertise that shit online. It will come back to bit him in the ass.