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Valentine's Day Help
MagicToaster
JapanRegistered User regular
JapanRegistered User regular
So, i come from a family on which nobody really cared about Valentine's day. My parents didn't do anything, and so I learned that it wasn't a big deal. My birthday also just so happens to be on that day.
I got married in November, and this is my first Valentine's day with my wife. Up to this point, we were never in the same country during my birthday, so this is truly my first Valentine's with her. I want to avoid the train reck that was my first and only Valentine's with a girl, in which I didn't do anything (it's my birthday) and she went all out. I learned the hard way that girls make a big deal out of Valentine's day.
My wife is setting up a stay in a fancy hotel as a gift to me. As for me, I have nothing.
How can I make this a memorable day? I am the most un-romantic guy ever...
I got married in November, and this is my first Valentine's day with my wife. Up to this point, we were never in the same country during my birthday, so this is truly my first Valentine's with her. I want to avoid the train reck that was my first and only Valentine's with a girl, in which I didn't do anything (it's my birthday) and she went all out. I learned the hard way that girls make a big deal out of Valentine's day.
My wife is setting up a stay in a fancy hotel as a gift to me. As for me, I have nothing.
How can I make this a memorable day? I am the most un-romantic guy ever...
MagicToaster on
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Roses. At least a dozen. People rarely get in trouble for overdoing roses. Even the most non-standard girlfriend is usually head-over-heels to get roses.
Candy? This one is hit or miss. Depends on the lady.
Mix tape/cd. This seems cheesy, and I had skipped it for a long time. It is now my suspicion that the first time you give a mix tape, you are giving one of the most romantic gifts possible.
Massage/spa day. Book her some time to get whatever things she likes done at these places. If she likes mani/pedis, do that. If you have no idea, book a long massage.
Romantic dinner for two. Very traditional.
Trip for the afternoon or evening to a more secluded/different place with a wonderful view. This can go any sort of way. Have a picnic on a hillside. Go to the zoo together. Take a bottle of wine to a striking landmark. The idea is just generally that you do something nice which is a change of pace and allows for a lot of time for the two of you.
Just pile on some ideas like this, and think very hard about what's significant about your relationship with her. Find ways to highlight what makes it special to you.
Jewelry,
Really big, sincere compliment,
Card,
Flowers,
Win
My plans around valentine's day are always centered around some couples activity, it doesn't need to be romantic, expensive, or big, it just needs to be pre-planned, dedicated time for your spouse.
Make sure what you do shows how you feel about her, and generally have a good time. My plan this year is just me making my wife dinner and sending her out with a girlfriend for a spa day.
Though if your wife is setting up a stay in a fancy hotel, then probably you will need to spend some $$$ just so you don't look cheap.
If you're already going to a hotel together I'd plan something that would accompany that. What does she like? Has she ever mentioned wanting to do something but never has been able?
And don't feel like you have to spend $TEXAS either.
Check out my art! Buy some prints!
I would say the 'best' (or best received anyway) romantic gift was '100 Things', which was a list of a hundred things I love about my partner. It was challenging, and really worth the effort; brought out feelings on both sides, because I had to really think about all of those things for a while. I found the top 20ish or so were pretty generic, by about 50 you're into some pretty intimate personalization and at rounding one hundred you're into things you didn't even realize were a big deal but are pretty important.
I think its appreciating the small, utterly unique details about a person that differentiates between 'he loves me' and 'he loves *me*'. Which seems like a pretty decent goal to have in mind for this kind of thing.
For instance a couple I know LOVE cute notes, cant get enough of them. For a month, the girlfriend would put mushy quotes or sayings in her partner's mailbox. In response, my other friend got 100 sticky notes that said cute things (I think they were mostly "i love you" types) and hid them all over her partner's room. Even though most of them were found that day, the other partner is still finding them and it brightens up her whole day
You could spend day doing an activity she likes that you don't normally do together, like shopping or seeing a movie or an art gallery or a nice scenic drive or skiing or whatever
Just for fun, call a local florist and ask how much they want for a dozen red roses. Then, at the end of February, call that same florist back and ask the same question.
This year we're going out for dinner, but that's about it. We've agreed not to spend any money on each other except for a card. I'm thinking of making her a Chomper statuette from Plants vs Zombies, as it's her current favourite game.
So there ya go. Different strokes. You don't really need to spend a lot of money (flowers, chocolate, etc.), and you can still make it memorable.
We're not planning anything major (that I know of) for valentine's day, although I think that sunday the 13th, he's taking me to the coast for fish and chips and ice cream and a sunset walk on the beach.
the rest of the weekend we'll be shopping for kitchen things and stuff to make the apartment our joint home.
so yeah, that's perfect for me.
I would never turn down flowers, but roses can be overdone.
but i like that 100 things idea. that could be interesting.....
Democrats Abroad! || Vote From Abroad
We buy a nice bottle of champagne and order from a small local pizzeria. Moet and pizza is a fun tradition for us, try something unconventional that you think would be replicable wherever you might live.
My sister and brother-in-law get Chinese take-out and watch movies every year!
Thats my plan!
I really like this idea.
I usually get something for my lady friend but nothing too big.
Satans..... hints.....
So yeah, buy something that matters to her. I like to go non-traditional because it demonstrates thought beyond "Flowers, chocolates, card, done," but not everybody's relationship works like that.
I guess this really depends on what stage of your relationship you're in - in this case they are married so it makes sense that he would know her well enough to figure something non-traditional out, but for cases like mine, where we've only been dating a short time more traditional makes sense. If possible its nice to go non-traditional, but its not always possible is what I'm saying I guess.
True - the teapot was also significant because we drank a lot of tea when we first started hanging out as friends. This year, I know she wants a sewing machine, but I'm not going to buy one for Valentine's as the message is less, "I wuv you thiiiiis much," and more, "fix my clothes, live-in servant."
Maybe something that references the start of your relationship?
Ahahahah! This made me laugh so hard, but sadly they are beyond my cooking skill level.
Thanks guys, you've got my mind rolling on some ideas as to where to start. I was really stuck!
This is a very wise observation. When we were kids my mother used to love to tell the story of how one year, for my grandparents' anniversary, my grandfather got my grandmother cookware. It was really nice cookware that she had mentioned wanting offhand at some point, and he didn't mean anything by it, but by all accounts the ensuing battle was epic. I wouldn't care but some people do, and something tells me that if she's going with a hotel room you'd be better off getting her flowers than something strictly utilitarian.
If the room is out of town, maybe tickets to a show you can see while you're there? Something that would contribute to the whole experience for both of you might be nice.
True - the teapot was also significant because we drank a lot of tea when we first started hanging out as friends. This year, I know she wants a sewing machine, but I'm not going to buy one for Valentine's as the message is less, "I wuv you thiiiiis much," and more, "fix my clothes, live-in servant."
[/QUOTE]:shock:
You could go for the gusto and throw out all of her shoes, buy her a pregnancy test and an apron. I'm sure that would get the same effect much faster. :twisted:
It's probably more of a wise move to get a movie the both of you would like, cook or order something good to eat, (not pizza) perhaps flowers (although some people view flowers as a threat, here watch these die slowly) and make for a nice evening in.
I personally hate the holiday and I think it's a reason for hallmark to rape my wallet. Like sweetest day.
It was also when my mom was a little kid, meaning that a) this was the 60's we're talking about and b) it was not my grandmother in her most evolved form.
I couldn't be happier!
I cannot properly cook in one 10inch skillet and one medium saucepan. It's just not going to happen.
Although a teapot would be awesome, since I'm having to leave my collection here in the states as it would be insane to try and ship them over there at the moment.
But I really can't complain. last year he hand made me a valentines card (it had a pop-up heart in the middle) and sent me some chocolate, a pretty bracelet, and some dried and shredded squid snacks that I had been crazy over in university but can't get here at home because there's no asian population. I jumped and squealed and ran around the house.
anything you get her should be fine, so long as it's true to you two. If she doesn't like flower, don't go that route. follow your instincts. You know her better than we do!
Democrats Abroad! || Vote From Abroad
I'm picturing Brady Brunch gone awry now. With Carol chasing Mike around the house with a skillet like a Bugs Bunny cartoon. It just made my morning lol.
<3Need some "cue the violins" sappy romantic ideas?<3
1. Postcards!
You said that you were out of the country every other year since meeting her. Get postcards from the places that you were (go online or make them yourself) and write her a postcard from each location saying that you miss her and wish she were with you for that Valentine's day. Then for this year get her a local post card and write something sweet on it. Bonus points if you actually send them through the post.
2.Birthday Party!
Have a birthday cake and candles ready for the hotel, when you blow out the candles let her know what you wished for... maybe you wished to find the perfect gift for her? Hand over the gift (whatever it may be) and ask if your wish came true... she would be foolish not to say yes.
3. Recreate your first date
Whatever movie you watched--rent it. Whatever food you ate-- eat it again. Let her know that you knew from that day on that you had found someone special and that even if guys don't seem sentimental you remember that night very well. Warning: If you don't remember what you did or ate on the first date do not attempt this, it can go awry
Even if all you guys did was watch Roger Rabbit on a futon while eating food from a 7-11 do it again, she will get a kick out of it.