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Third time's a charm: Trouble Ticket - my webcomic, again (massive update 11/29 on p 2)

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    amateurhouramateurhour One day I'll be professionalhour The woods somewhere in TennesseeRegistered User regular
    new comic. I'm actually pretty proud of this one. I used some different angles and designed a new character.

    2011-12-13_043.jpg

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    Tim-YatesTim-Yates Registered User regular
    Hey there, I really appreciated the critique you gave me on Failhunter, so I'll do my best to return the favor. I'm not gonna touch the writing and storytelling, since I think overall it's good, and I suck at it myself, but I'll do whatever i can to help with the art!
    I did my best to look over all the other posts, but there was a lot so forgive me if I'm repeating stuff someone else said.

    1. Your method of shading:
    In most of your comics there are parts of the shading that go outside the lines a little bit, ie the guy in the last ones neck in panel 3 and his shoulder in panel 4. What I would do to fix this depends on your method, but it looks like lasso, so I'll run with that. To make sure the selection is inside the lines, I would use the magic wand to deselect the area outside where you are shading before you fill. If you're using a brush, then just select the area you want to shade first and go to town.

    Were it me, I would make three layers in photoshop. 1 for the lineart (top layer), 1 for the flat tones (bottom), and 1 for the shading (middle). that way you can select the area you want on the flats layer and do whatever you need on the shading layer. In the case of the above episode, where it looks like the guy is the same tone as the door he's in front of, I would make a new layer underneath flats and fill him in with any color there. That way you can easily select him on that layer without changing his tone.

    2. The slant
    I noticed someone mentioned how everything is leaning to the right, and you said it was inentional. Everything slanting to the right is a very common artistic problem, and is caused by people drawing things on a flat table so their view of the paper is on a slant, skewing everything slightly unless they get a dead-on view of it. Using the slant to imply a skewed view on their reality is clever, and deep, but there is no disclaimer that people see before reading the comic, and all a new viewer will see is a common newby art mistake.

    3. Anatomy
    Throughout, I'm noticing some wonky anatomy, especially on the hands, but the lack of understanding is evident in panel 4 of the latest issue with the guy raising his left arm. The deltoid and clavicle line should be raised, the line for the brachioradialis should be on the top of his forearm, the lines on his pec' would be pointing up, etc. I'm not showing off, I'm just trying to illustrate what a difference having an intimate knowledge of anatomy makes when you're drawing. Knowing what muscles/bones make those shapes/lines you're drawing helps so so much. When you're only using a few lines to indicate form, the placement of those lines are vitally important. I'm not saying draw more realistic or change your style or anything, but even in a cartoony style, the forms are based on the real thing, and people are very used to seeing it, so if its wrong, the audience will know it's wrong even if they cant explain what it is. When learning to draw something, you don't study caricatures of it, you study the real thing. Applying that knowledge to your style is easy after that! Think how much the explanation of the human skull helped in previous critiques. I think you would greatly benefit by getting some artists anatomy books and practicing your figure drawing.

    Those are the biggest things I could spot that I would improve on, but I really dig what you're doing! The story is compelling and I like the humor and art style. Not everyone has the grit to keep a bi-weekly webcomic going and the determination to constantly improve yourself as this thread proves. Keep up the good work, let me know if you ever need help with anything :)







    failhunter_banner2_by_timyates-d4jn83j.jpg
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    amateurhouramateurhour One day I'll be professionalhour The woods somewhere in TennesseeRegistered User regular
    edited January 2012
    Tim, thanks for the feedback!

    I'm back from a winter break so here's the continuation of the date.

    I'm starting with color when I get to #50 so that will be a whole new thing.

    edit: also ignore the horribly aligned lettering, Tapeslinger got me an awesome lettering guide and a book on how to use it so that will get better. I promise.

    2012-01-05_045.jpg

    amateurhour on
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    tapeslingertapeslinger Space Unicorn Slush Ranger Social Justice Rebel ScumRegistered User regular
    edited January 2012
    Proportion is still an issue (none of these peoples have enough shoulder...) But the line quality is really picking up, and I thought the joke on this one was fun once I figured it out.

    The middle panel is confusing; it took me a second to figure out it wasn't a dream or a thought-bubble but a split-screen kind of moment. Wavy lines like that tends to indicate "imagining" or "dreaming." I think I'd either put a straight line instead of a wavy line, or make it a four-panel instead of three, or something like that.

    Also, yay! Let me know if you need help with the Ames guide, it is a decidedly vintage piece of technology but it is so fast once you get used to it!

    tapeslinger on
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    squidbunnysquidbunny Registered User regular
    I took the wavy line for a couch back?

    header_image_sm.jpg
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    tapeslingertapeslinger Space Unicorn Slush Ranger Social Justice Rebel ScumRegistered User regular
    squidbunny wrote:
    I took the wavy line for a couch back?

    That makes WAY more sense....ha! I think then a little fabric texture or something might make that more clear, but then I somehow just did not absorb that detail.

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    earthwormadamearthwormadam ancient crust Registered User regular
    Yup be mindful of things like that. Like in the first panel the door makes it look like a gutter, splitting the panel into two. In the second panel, if that is supposed to be furniture, drawing some cushions might help because that looks like two separate panels too.

    Even though you're trying to mix up the angles of panels they're still falling into one of two categories, dead on frontal angle and straight up profile. Try to mix it up to make things more interesting, do more thumbnails of your comics before you develop them.

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    EshEsh Tending bar. FFXIV. Motorcycles. Portland, ORRegistered User regular
    squidbunny wrote:
    I took the wavy line for a couch back?

    That makes WAY more sense....ha! I think then a little fabric texture or something might make that more clear, but then I somehow just did not absorb that detail.

    Or shorten and even it out. Who has a couch with a back that goes above the head?

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    amateurhouramateurhour One day I'll be professionalhour The woods somewhere in TennesseeRegistered User regular
    Thanks for the feedback. That is indeed a couch back, it's supposed to be showing that he's kind of slumped down into the couch, as some people do, but I could have added more detail to it I suppose, but there's a dude making a drink in the background so that makes up for it : )

    The big head thing is just kind of the way I draw. It's supposed to me more cartoonish (a-la peanuts) so I exaggerate the heads. I can see how it's a little too exaggerated though so I'll work on making it a little less outlandish.

    EWA: I'll work on more 3/4 view and different perspectives. I do tend to just do either straight on or profile, mainly because that's how I drew the characters initially. I'll try to switch it up a little more on the next one, which should be up Wednesday at the latest.

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    rtsrts Registered User regular
    I think it's actually really funny... but your art has a long ways to go. What the hell is on her chin?

    I would really like to see you actually try to improve. I mean, actively practicing drawing outside of your comic. Do some life drawing, study anatomy. Study Ikage's studies. I know these sound like bullshit things everyone says...but I like your comic and I want to not be frustrated when I look at it, and your artwork is hardly going to improve at all at the rate you produce these things.

    skype: rtschutter
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    amateurhouramateurhour One day I'll be professionalhour The woods somewhere in TennesseeRegistered User regular
    edited January 2012
    That's fair.... I agree I have a long way to go. (the thing on her chin is supposed to be a piercing, she had it when I introduced her, but I might get rid of it or learn to draw it better. It'll show up more when I start coloring these if I do keep it.)

    I do draw quite a bit outside the strip, I just never post it here. I should really start doing that because it'll help my art improve, you're right.

    Thank you for saying you like the comic. I won't disagree or make excuses for my art, but thanks to the AC almost entirely, and practice, this is the level of improvement between 2008 and today. These are the first five strips I ever posted here....

    1.jpg

    2.jpg

    3.jpg

    4.jpg

    5.jpg

    So you guys have helped me improve a fair bit.... and I'm thankful for that.

    Thanks again, I'll keep at it and this year my plan is to update more often, especially since my wife and I are doing cons now and selling merch.



    amateurhour on
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    IrukaIruka Registered User, Moderator Mod Emeritus
    Post your studies, it will put a turbo boost on your practice if you are getting active feed back on it. It'll be easier to see the core issues in studies than in stylized comics. Post them. Do it.

    Cake is right, this will be a fine comic if you keep going, and get the art together. I also recommend the Scott Mccloud books for helping with some spacial stuff.

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    amateurhouramateurhour One day I'll be professionalhour The woods somewhere in TennesseeRegistered User regular
    New comic, that wasn't a week late!

    Also, I've added COLOR! I use prismacolor markers because I fell in love with them, the background is the only thing I made digitally.

    2012-01-12_046.jpg

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    The_Glad_HatterThe_Glad_Hatter One Sly Fox Underneath a Groovy HatRegistered User regular
    I laughed the most at this last comic. Plus the colors are an improvement. Also, for some reason the lifework seams cleaner in the final one.

    +1 to Iruka for mentioning the scott mccloud books. (especially Making Comics).

    If you're interested in improving your drawing skills do post your studies in here please! Also, i can REALLY recommend This book for improving your general figure drawing work.

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    NibCromNibCrom Registered User regular
    I'm going to echo Cake's advice of drawing outside of your comic. I think the only way I've ever been able to improve my art (besides practice) is putting myself into uncomfortable situations, which means drawing things that I don't know how to draw and making lots of mistakes. I will once again recommend the book Glad Hatter linked to.

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    amateurhouramateurhour One day I'll be professionalhour The woods somewhere in TennesseeRegistered User regular
    new strip

    2012-01-24_047.jpg

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    squidbunnysquidbunny Registered User regular
    I agree with Nib and Cake, but I did want to drop back in here and mention I dig the colors and the hand lettering.

    header_image_sm.jpg
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    tapeslingertapeslinger Space Unicorn Slush Ranger Social Justice Rebel ScumRegistered User regular
    Looking considerably better with each strip!
    Color really does a lot for this comic to improve the clarity of what is going on here. Proportions still need work but there is more shoulder! Yes. The facial expressions here are a lot more lively and lifelike as well.

    Thirding/fourthing the "draw other stuff and also post more sketches!" posts. I would suggest actually....draw more things that are not people, and don't be afraid to make reference poses and things for yourself-- for example the grocery bag, I would recommend looking for a photo or even making your own just to see the dimensions of the bag filled up with stuff.

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    amateurhouramateurhour One day I'll be professionalhour The woods somewhere in TennesseeRegistered User regular
    Thanks for the feedback! I am planning to make a sketch dump or put some stuff in the doodle thread I just haven't had the time to scan/take pictures. I promise I will.

    The bag is actually supposed to be a couple of cardboard boxes like what they give you at the liquor store sometimes. I should have added text to them or a label in PS...

    I'm trying to actively use a new pose each strip from here on out. I've got the Wally Wood panels taped up at my art desk and I use Google Image Search to find a good reference pose before each strip to try and broaden my character positioning.

    Thanks!

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    earthwormadamearthwormadam ancient crust Registered User regular
    I'd recommend more planning it the storyboard stage of these comics. I agree the colors look nice and so does the hand lettering.

    My main beef is that, all 4 panels show the characters from the same angle, which is boring for the reader, and also does not help you get better at drawing things from different angles, besides straight on. Watch your framing and composition. 3 outta 4 panels have a character bleeding off the edge to the left, yet none of the panels have a character bleeding off to the right. Each panel seems like it has more going on in the left side of the box, which makes every panel seem like it's weighed down on the left side. The second panel is a 75% waste of space! How come?! It looks like bad planning. Comics are a quick diversion to readers, and if the viewer looks at it quickly and thinks that things look lazy and poorly planned out, that is the impression thats going to stick out, regardless of what other nice factors the comic has.

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    amateurhouramateurhour One day I'll be professionalhour The woods somewhere in TennesseeRegistered User regular
    I spent a little more time on the layout and poses on this one to try and address the issues. I'm sure there is still work to be done but I like the way it turned out.

    2012-01-31_048.jpg

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    bowenbowen How you doin'? Registered User regular
    Digging the color dude.

    not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
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    amateurhouramateurhour One day I'll be professionalhour The woods somewhere in TennesseeRegistered User regular
    edited February 2012
    Totally forgot to post last week's comic, both here and on my own website... So here it is.

    I liked the way I laid it out, but I feel like I could have posed panel 1 a little better. I just didn't want them sitting on the couch again, but I've also been using the "someone is holding a phone" pose a lot too these days...

    2012-02-14_049.jpg

    also, the snobby manager is based off of Patrick Stewart because I was having a Doctor Who vs Star Trek discussion with my wife when I drew the comic

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    amateurhouramateurhour One day I'll be professionalhour The woods somewhere in TennesseeRegistered User regular
    Double Sized Strip to make up for the lack of updates the past few weeks as I work furiously to prepare for my biggest con this year and housebreak my new puppy.

    2012-03-26_050.jpg

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