Trying to date a bartender... is it doomed?

KidDynamite

Been hanging out at a new spot recently, and at first I noticed that the bartenders (both actually) are pretty cute, but didn't think too much of it.

On Friday, me and my buddy were in there after work for a couple of drinks, and having a good time. One of the bartenders came over after my buddy left for a minute and made it point to introduce herself and shake my hand. Now I've chatted with her before, and she seems really nice, but I've never asked her name, or anything really personal (where you going to school, what classes etc...). She also said bye on the way out the door when she was leaving.

So, having said that, I don't really want to be the creepy guy hitting on her at work, but I'm not sure if I will be able to see her outside of work either.

Any advice on how to work on hanging out outside of the bar?

Thanks.

wonderpug

"Hey, what time is your shift over? Want to get a cup of coffee?"

IronKnuckle

Wait, she introduced herself but didn't tell you her name?

Bliss 101

I consulted my bartender flatmate, and the advice was to just find a convenient, non-awkward opportunity to indicate you'd be up for a cup of coffee sometime, then give her your phone number and let her decide what to do with it. She won't assume you're a creep unless you're being actively creepy. Just be aware that bartenders get a lot of phone numbers and the standard policy is to accept them with a smile, then toss them in the garbage. Your chances are slim, but not zero.

Just keep it as casual as relaxed as possible. If you make her feel awkward at work, you'll instantly turn into her least favorite customer and probably stay there.

Esh

As a bartender I can tell you that that interaction probably meant nothing. It's our job to be friendly. We flirt to make better tips. And yes, we get asked out A LOT (men and women). I'd suggest maybe going in a few more times to get a better feel for it before reading way too much into it and asking her out.

Robman

Toss her a number but don't wait by the phone for a call

KidDynamite

Bliss 101 wrote: »

Just keep it as casual as relaxed as possible. If you make her feel awkward at work, you'll instantly turn into her least favorite customer and probably stay there.

That's what I want to avoid. I mean, I know that she is a captive audience, and I don't want her to not be able to relax at work.

Luckily, I like hanging out there anyways, so I'll probably just go back for a drink, and see how she acts towards me.

Thanks y'all

Dr. Frenchenstein

I once got a bartender's number, i talked to her a few times (obviously it's hard to get a date with me working 9-5 and her working 5-2 most of the time) and she saw me in her bar with another girl. It was a group of us and nothing was going on with the two of us, but man this girl soured quick.

Figgy

Bartenders like regulars because they usually tip well. One way to acquire (and keep) regulars is to get to know your customers by name. They come back because they feel like they're welcome and the staff are their "friends."

Keep that in mind going forward with this. That interaction could very well have been interest on her part, but it was most likely just a bartender doing what a bartender does to make money.