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The Paul the Fundamentalist (TL;DR)

KevarKevar regular
edited February 2007 in Social Entropy++
Tonight, I communicated with a fundamentalist named Paul. Why he was up late on Saturday when Church is fresh and early in the morning, I don't know, but I was glad for his company. So glad, I invited him to a chat room along with Drizzt and Non-Existent Freezer. Stuff happens. Oh, and we discovered that he's gay.

I removed the numbers from his username to prevent harassment. Some of these come from personal IMs, others from the chat room.

thepaul = private conversation
ThePaul = chatroom

RenegadeDrizzt: what do you think of illegals, brother paul?
ThePaul: They need to go back to Mexico.

thepaul: I've always loved studying the Constitution and the Bill of Rights
thepaul: I wanted to be President back when I was a little lad, in fact
thepaul: But in a post 9/11 world, and an invasion by illegals, it's too hard of a job

ThePaul: but there are ZERO peaceful ISLAMISTS
RenegadeDrizzt: The minority
RenegadeDrizzt: I do not approve of genocide in any way shape or form
RenegadeDrizzt: However
RenegadeDrizzt: I think the world would be a better place
RenegadeDrizzt: if they were destroyed
Bizzaro Kevar: Amen!
ThePaul: If there were no Islamists.

ThePaul: I'm part Spanish
RenegadeDrizzt: but look what freeing the slaves has done
ThePaul: And WE were the first to bring slaves into the new world!
ThePaul: If you're going to blame anyone for slavery
ThePaul: Blame us!

ThePaul: Actually a lot of Hispanics are the worry with the illegals thing

ThePaul: I also hate the "multiculturalism" argument
ThePaul: It's lib code for Balkanization

RenegadeDrizzt: I've been seeing a support group for the past two months. I've been displaying homosexual tendencies, and I find myself fantasizing about sinful things. Do you have any advice?
thepaul: We all get tempted with sin
thepaul: Some have more temptations than others
thepaul: NOTE
thepaul: Do not tell anyone this
thepaul: But I felt tempted a few times too
thepaul:I'm not like going out and getting porn or being obsessed or whatever
thepaul: But it's a couple times
thepaul: I've been able to handle it though.
thepaul: thank God.

RenegadeDrizzt: personally I would've just destroyed Martin Luther King if I would've known that it would've created history months
RenegadeDrizzt: just joking
ThePaul Hah.
Bizzaro Kevar: Ho ho ho
ThePaul: He'd probably be against such an idea
ThePaul: if he knew what it would cause

ThePaul: it's that they are FORCED to learn Spanish in some cases
ThePaul: i have no problem with learning about different languages or cultures
RenegadeDrizzt: I was forced to learn Spanish
RenegadeDrizzt: from a lady
ThePaul: just do it of YOUR OWN FREE WILL
RenegadeDrizzt: who couldn't LEARN ENGLISH
RenegadeDrizzt: SHE SCREWED UP HER TENSES
RenegadeDrizzt: and it made me so mad
ThePaul: Not only that
ThePaul: Look at the "history months"
ThePaul: another case of "multiculturalism"

RenegadeDrizzt: I fear for my future children more than anything
RenegadeDrizzt: look at the crime rate
RenegadeDrizzt: with illegals
ThePaul: yup

Bizzaro Kevar: Paul, brother Cody tells me you've had trouble with homosexulity in the past.
Bizzaro Kevar: Is this true?
Bizzaro Kevar: It's nothing to be ashamed of. We all have those feelings sometimes
ThePaul: Well, i've been tempted
ThePaul: But I've ignored them.
ThePaul: Never acted on it
ThePaul: Just presented occasionally
ThePaul: And that's the truth
ThePaul: Besides, too many princessas to even think about that stuff!
Bizzaro Kevar: What kinds of thoughts?
Bizzaro Kevar: Specifically?
ThePaul: I don't want to be rude
ThePaul: But
Bizzaro Kevar: It's okay
Bizzaro Kevar: We're all adults here
ThePaul: You know.
ThePaul: Personal.
ThePaul: Nothing like sex

ThePaul: Thank God it was something that wasn't a battle
ThePaul: It was just temptation
ThePaul: Kinda like you've never drank, but a beer looks good to you sometimes
ThePaul: But you never actually imbibe. :D
RenegadeDrizzt: I mean
RenegadeDrizzt: I'm fighting it
RenegadeDrizzt: it is A BATTLE for me
Dance With Merle: Please don't ruin any more vegetables for me.
RenegadeDrizzt: one I'm afraid that I won't be able to conquer
RenegadeDrizzt: I've considered shock therapy
Bizzaro Kevar: Those "scared straight" places helped me a lot.
ThePaul: just pray
ThePaul: trust God
ThePaul: Think about this
ThePaul: There are so many beautiful girls out there that are better than what you are thinking about
RenegadeDrizzt: I tell myself that
RenegadeDrizzt: but I look
RenegadeDrizzt: and I feel empty
RenegadeDrizzt: I am fighting for this
ThePaul: I've got some pics of girls that are MAN
RenegadeDrizzt: show me
RenegadeDrizzt: please

RenegadeDrizzt: HOYL FUCk
RenegadeDrizzt: HE JUST SENT MEP ORN
Bizzaro Kevar: LINK
Bizzaro Kevar: what is it

thepaul: [censored]
thepaul: NO WAIT
thepaul: DO NOT CLICK
thepaul: There's shirtless guys behind her

thepaul: It's no problem for me anymore though
thepaul: I mean, I had the temptations, but never yeilded to them
thepaul:I have an addictive personality
RenegadeDrizzt: Right
thepaul: So if I fell into it It'd be hard as you to get out
thepaul: That's why I thought "I better not take this...it's like taking crack. One sniff and you're in"

Kevar on
«1

Posts

  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] new member
    edited February 2007
    The user and all related content has been deleted.

    [Deleted User] on
  • Non-Existent FreezerNon-Existent Freezer Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    You can't spell fundie without "Fun."

    Now we all know why.

    Non-Existent Freezer on
    g2kc7.png
  • taoistlumberjaktaoistlumberjak Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    stay out of Malibu, Lebowski

    taoistlumberjak on
    grillsgrillsgrills.jpg
  • ShimShamShimSham Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    This calls for a, "Wow, just wow."

    ShimSham on
  • Dangerou-DaveDangerou-Dave __BANNED USERS regular
    edited February 2007
    thepaul: There's shirtless guys behind her

    thepaul: It's no problem for me anymore though


    Awesome, paul.

    Dangerou-Dave on
  • Grandaddy DeliciousGrandaddy Delicious Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    depressed.jpg

    Grandaddy Delicious on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Bloods EndBloods End Blade of Tyshalle Punch dimensionRegistered User regular
    edited February 2007
    ...Buh?

    Bloods End on
  • FizFiz Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Bogey is so wacky.

    Fiz on
    juggcat.jpg
  • KevarKevar regular
    edited February 2007
    Awesome, paul.
    The warning about the shirtless dudes was the best part.

    Kevar on
  • NewtronNewtron Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    GAYYYY!

    Newtron on
  • ShortyShorty touching the meat Intergalactic Cool CourtRegistered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Right now I am listening to the Mega Man X soundtrack so basically everything is okay.

    Shorty on
  • KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator Mod Emeritus
    edited February 2007
    oh thank god a chatlog

    Knob on
  • Mister LongbaughMister Longbaugh Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Shorty wrote:
    Right now I am listening to the Mega Man X soundtrack so basically everything is okay.

    I am listening to the battlestar galactica soundtrack and so i feel the same way

    Mister Longbaugh on
  • GreenGreen Stick around. I'm full of bad ideas.Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    So where's that shirtless guy porn huh

    Green on
  • naporeonnaporeon Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    edited February 2007
    oh thank god knob is hst again

    naporeon on
  • KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator Mod Emeritus
    edited February 2007
    why don't you take your chatlog and shove it straight up your ass, sally

    Knob on
  • Mister LongbaughMister Longbaugh Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    I kind of think this was a funny chatlog.

    Mister Longbaugh on
  • KevarKevar regular
    edited February 2007
    Knob wrote:
    why don't you take your chatlog and shove it straight up your ass, sally
    Would you do it for me, Knob? Please

    Kevar on
  • B.C.B.C. is a bee! remember me?Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Funny, but not really worth a thread.

    B.C. on
    Friend code for Pokemon fiends everywhere: Arch 0447-6824-1112
  • KevarKevar regular
    edited February 2007
    B.C. wrote:
    Funny, but not really worth a thread.
    I bet if I left the shirtless dudes in you'd think it was worth a thread.

    Kevar on
  • LemmingLemming Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    B.C. wrote:
    Funny, but not really worth a thread.

    What is, in this post 9/11 world with all these immigrants?

    Lemming on
  • RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator Mod Emeritus
    edited February 2007
    Knob wrote:
    why don't you take your chatlog and shove it straight up your ass, sally

    even better a chatlog with a nincompoop that is down for islamist genocide

    boy oh boy the comedy wheels is greased and rollin' tonite!

    Rankenphile on
    8406wWN.png
  • LarlarLarlar consecutive normal brunches Moderator, ClubPA Mod Emeritus
    edited February 2007
    fig8-11.jpg

    Larlar on
    iwantanswers3.png
  • GreenGreen Stick around. I'm full of bad ideas.Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Knob wrote:
    why don't you take your chatlog and shove it straight up your ass, sally

    even better a chatlog with a nincompoop that is down for islamist genocide

    boy oh boy the comedy wheels is greased and rollin' tonite!
    Don't forget his homosexual temptations

    Green on
  • RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator Mod Emeritus
    edited February 2007
    Green wrote:
    Knob wrote:
    why don't you take your chatlog and shove it straight up your ass, sally

    even better a chatlog with a nincompoop that is down for islamist genocide

    boy oh boy the comedy wheels is greased and rollin' tonite!
    Don't forget his homosexual temptations

    that fell squarely in the "DR" half of my tl;dr reaction to this thread

    Rankenphile on
    8406wWN.png
  • The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited February 2007
    I put on my dakar thobe and turban...

    The Geek on
    BLM - ACAB
  • TrillianTrillian Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Maybe he's a priest.

    Trillian on

    They cast a shadow like a sundial in the morning light. It was half past 10.
  • FalloutFallout GIRL'S DAY WAS PRETTY GOOD WHILE THEY LASTEDRegistered User regular
    edited February 2007
    the best chatlog was MAXOUT'S BONERS & BONGS

    Fallout on
    xcomsig.png
  • Penguin IncarnatePenguin Incarnate King of Kafiristan Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    All the homos need to go back where they came from.

    Penguin Incarnate on
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] new member
    edited February 2007
    The user and all related content has been deleted.

    [Deleted User] on
  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    All the homos need to go back where they came from.
    Where might that be

    Homoslavia

    small nation

    on the island of Lesbos

    Pony on
  • FalloutFallout GIRL'S DAY WAS PRETTY GOOD WHILE THEY LASTEDRegistered User regular
    edited February 2007
    homosexuals should be denied AIDS medication

    Fallout on
    xcomsig.png
  • Penguin IncarnatePenguin Incarnate King of Kafiristan Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Fucking faggots are ruining America.

    Taking our welfare. And all our women.

    Faggots.

    Penguin Incarnate on
  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    guys a few months from now

    some whiney faggot is going to join the forums

    and he's going to search for the word "faggot" to judge if we are homophobic or not

    he will probably find this thread and take it out of any context

    and be like "you all hate gays

    especially you pony, you homophobe"

    i know this will happen because it already has

    all of this has happened before

    and will again

    so say we all

    Pony on
  • FalloutFallout GIRL'S DAY WAS PRETTY GOOD WHILE THEY LASTEDRegistered User regular
    edited February 2007
    and god, don't get me started on gay immigrants

    all beating off into my hamburgers at the sight of me

    Fallout on
    xcomsig.png
  • RaneadosRaneados police apologist you shouldn't have been there, obviouslyRegistered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Kaiser Pony: i think that one is because i hunt
    Kaiser Pony: and my dad drilled all this survivalism stuff into my head as a kid
    Rainadoo: haha
    Rainadoo: wish I could hunt, I've never killed anything and eaten it. :-(
    Kaiser Pony: it is an interesting thing
    Kaiser Pony: psychologically
    Kaiser Pony: at least if you actually think about it as an animal and not jsut
    Kaiser Pony: "ghyuk i shot a buck"
    Rainadoo: dude don't even get me started
    Rainadoo: I wrote 10 pages or so in High school on the topic
    Kaiser Pony: the first time i went hunting with my dad i cried
    Kaiser Pony: i was really, really upset and felt terrible
    Kaiser Pony: i mean, i thought i was prepared for it
    Kaiser Pony: my dad had explained it all
    Kaiser Pony: but then, when he actually shot a deer, i was not prepared for the screaming
    Rainadoo: mm
    Rainadoo: Does shooting them in the head work fine? I'm not looking for trophies
    Kaiser Pony: yeah, but it's hard to hit the head, especially with a bow
    Kaiser Pony: much easier to hit the chest or flank
    Rainadoo: do you run up and end it? like throat or shot in the brain?
    Kaiser Pony: when my dad shot the deer, he hit it in the stomach, and it was laying on the ground and screaming
    Kaiser Pony: and i was flipping out
    Rainadoo: haha, geez
    Kaiser Pony: and my dad grabbed me by the shoulders, and he's like "now listen. we could just let it bleed out. It might take a few minutes. It'd be safer, and it's often what animals do. But we aren't going to do that. We aren't going to let it suffer. That is what makes us better."
    Kaiser Pony: and then he handed me a machete and was like "now you learn why mercy is the value of man."
    Rainadoo: :O
    Kaiser Pony: one swift chop to the neck
    Kaiser Pony: and it's over
    Kaiser Pony: he made me do it
    Kaiser Pony: to make me understand
    Kaiser Pony: it's a lesson i won't forget
    Rainadoo: pony you're talking like a crazy dude in a movie all sweaty and black and white and holding me by my shoulders and telling me why you just killed a prostitute
    Kaiser Pony: hahahahahaha
    Rainadoo: dude it's in my brain and I suspect it'll be there for-fucking-ever
    Kaiser Pony: so i mean, that's our standard operating procedure
    Kaiser Pony: take it down with an arrow or two
    Kaiser Pony: finish it with a machete, or your hands if you're trying to take the skin as clean as possible
    Rainadoo: dude I am so posting this
    Rainadoo: the hunting part
    Kaiser Pony: hahahaha
    Kaiser Pony: where
    Rainadoo: SE somewhere I am gonna find a place
    Kaiser Pony: hahahaha ran you are not helping me

    Raneados on
  • Penguin IncarnatePenguin Incarnate King of Kafiristan Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Jesus Christ.

    Penguin Incarnate on
  • FalloutFallout GIRL'S DAY WAS PRETTY GOOD WHILE THEY LASTEDRegistered User regular
    edited February 2007
    i used to hunt gays, but then they learned to travel in parades

    fucking parades

    Fallout on
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  • Penguin IncarnatePenguin Incarnate King of Kafiristan Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Jesus Christ.

    Penguin Incarnate on
  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Fallout wrote:
    i used to hunt gays, but then they learned to travel in parades

    fucking parades

    it's like how water buffalos travel in herds

    weakest in the centre

    in the middle of the parades is where you will find the slow ones

    they put them on floats to avoid hunters

    Pony on
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