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most amusing way to break the news (fucking)

24

Posts

  • DrezDrez Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Or, when someone says "man, be lucky you got out of here when you did. Best Buy sucks" respond with "well...you know what else sucks, but in a good way?" and nod at her casually.

    Drez on
    Switch: SW-7690-2320-9238Steam/PSN/Xbox: Drezdar
  • MendozaMendoza Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    get her pregnant

    Mendoza on
  • DrezDrez Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Or, bring in some used condoms and hand them out as gift bags.

    Drez on
    Switch: SW-7690-2320-9238Steam/PSN/Xbox: Drezdar
  • AirAir Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    have her stay the night at your place without a change of clothes and arrange to do something with the other people the next morning


    then cum all over the front of her shirt

    Air on
    darjeelingshortsig95.jpg
  • Dread Pirate ArbuthnotDread Pirate Arbuthnot OMG WRIGGLY T O X O P L A S M O S I SRegistered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Show them this thread.

    Dread Pirate Arbuthnot on
  • DrezDrez Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Show them this thread.

    Print it and hand out copies.

    Drez on
    Switch: SW-7690-2320-9238Steam/PSN/Xbox: Drezdar
  • MuhahahahahaMuhahahahaha Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Show them this thread.

    That's already been said, you ninny

    Muhahahahaha on
  • Dread Pirate ArbuthnotDread Pirate Arbuthnot OMG WRIGGLY T O X O P L A S M O S I SRegistered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Show them this thread.

    That's already been said, you ninny

    Wait until she's bending over to pick something up and comment "I liked it that way last night"

    Then go "Eh? Eh?"

    Dread Pirate Arbuthnot on
  • RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator mod
    edited February 2007
    Start the "I banged Karen" club

    Karen can't join

    Rankenphile on
    8406wWN.png
  • EffStarStarStarEffStarStarStar Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Karen: "These crotchless panties are weird, I can't figure out if I've got them on backwards or not."

    Deus: *hand down her pants* "Hmm... no, seems like you've got them on right."

    Karen: "Okay cool, thanks."


    [spoiler:b08a89bd78]BONUS STAGE
    Deus: *sniffs fingers*[/spoiler:b08a89bd78]

    EffStarStarStar on
  • ZoolanderZoolander Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    just send a memo to everyone in the company with some pics

    Zoolander on
  • DrezDrez Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Someone: "Yeah I was playing Elite Beat Agents yesterday. It was good."
    Someone Else: "Not me! Rogue Galaxy all the way!"
    Someone Third: "Ha Ha! You fags are so faggish, I wuz kicking ass in Viva Pinata. All my worms in a row, son."
    Deusfaux: "My worm was in Karen last night." sip
    Everyone but Deusfaux and Karen: :shock:

    Drez on
    Switch: SW-7690-2320-9238Steam/PSN/Xbox: Drezdar
  • STATE OF THE ART ROBOTSTATE OF THE ART ROBOT Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Start a conversation about the superbowl and hope someone goes "I really hope the Colts stick it to the bears" or vice versa.

    Then go "I really hope I get to stick it to Karen tonight"

    STATE OF THE ART ROBOT on
  • JohnHamJohnHam Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Go in to work to meet one of the other people. Have "the Karen" act totally normal, as though you were, say, a phantom.

    Start talking to the guy and then get into a situation where you can see the Karen down the hall or something. You could even be talking to like, a group of people with Karen in sight but not involved.

    Then just out of the blue go, "You know, dudes, I have always kind of had a thing for Karen."

    Then walk up and do her.

    JohnHam on
    signature.png

  • DeusfauxDeusfaux Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    this is turning out to be a goldmine

    i knew SE was the best choice

    Deusfaux on
  • Dread Pirate ArbuthnotDread Pirate Arbuthnot OMG WRIGGLY T O X O P L A S M O S I SRegistered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Start a betting pool on who can get into Karen's panties first. Make an outlandish bet to start, like $200 and let everyone throw what they want into the pot

    Dread Pirate Arbuthnot on
  • DrezDrez Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Deusfaux wrote:
    this is turning out to be a goldmine

    i knew SE was the best choice

    I'da gone with G&T.

    Drez on
    Switch: SW-7690-2320-9238Steam/PSN/Xbox: Drezdar
  • DrezDrez Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    In the middle of conversation, casually say "man, you know what the worst part about fucking Karen is? I can't tell anyone about it. Oh shi-"

    Drez on
    Switch: SW-7690-2320-9238Steam/PSN/Xbox: Drezdar
  • The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited February 2007
    Deusfaux wrote:
    so now im seeing someone from within our circle of work-based friends... ( I dont work there anymore so it works)

    ... I need the most amusing/shocking ways possible to break it to everyone that we're more than friends now.


    Just telling everyone flat out is super lame and not nearly dramatic enough.


    Even at the bare minimum, walking up and giving each other a hard kiss in front of the others without warning would make them shit their pants a little.

    But I want to go bigger and better. If we have to start dry fucking out of the blue in front of them we'll do it. We even discussed going through the motions of acting out a dirty sanchez to send our friends over the edge.

    ideas....?

    Go one step further than the dry humping and have her give you a pseudo lapdance next time you're with the group. Just be hanging out and when she comes in, she starts all up in your face, shaking her boobs, grinding on you, kissing, and then start the dry humping in the chair. Make sure she says, "I missed you, lover." at some point during this.

    The Geek on
    BLM - ACAB
  • Garlic BreadGarlic Bread i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a Registered User, Disagreeable regular
    edited February 2007
    have her say, "You know, Deus probably has the smallest penis I've ever been with, and he doesn't really have a great personality -- wait why are we fucking each other again?

    Garlic Bread on
  • DrezDrez Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Have her say out of nowhere "God, I'm so horny. So, who wants to fuck me?" You'll be prepared for it, Deus, so just raise your hand immediately, before anyone else can, and walk away with her arm-in-arm.

    Drez on
    Switch: SW-7690-2320-9238Steam/PSN/Xbox: Drezdar
  • bongibongi regular
    edited February 2007
    rape her to death in front of your colleagues while shouting "WE'RE DATING WE'RE DATING WE'RE DATING"

    bongi on
  • SpongeCakeSpongeCake Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    bongi wrote:
    rape her to death in front of your colleagues while shouting "WE'RE DATING WE'RE DATING WE'RE DATING"

    WINNER

    SpongeCake on
  • Bloods EndBloods End Blade of Tyshalle Punch dimensionRegistered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Kill her.

    Kill yourself.

    Homicide/suicides are always the best way to break the news.

    Bloods End on
  • QuethalQuethal The Infrequent OaklandRegistered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Ok, it is kinda weird to be reading this thread, as everyone has chosen the name Karen. My mother's name... :|

    Quethal on
  • DrezDrez Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Quethal wrote:
    Ok, it is kinda weird to be reading this thread, as everyone has chosen the name Karen. My mother's name... :|

    That's who we're talking about.

    Drez on
    Switch: SW-7690-2320-9238Steam/PSN/Xbox: Drezdar
  • AiolarAiolar Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Ok, here's what you do:

    Get the keys from the manager, or a good lock-picking set, or just be sure that you two can be at the workplace 15-30 minutes before your friends get there.

    Let them find you naked and going at it on one of the tables.

    I can pretty much garuntee that they, and everyone else around, will be quite shocked.

    Aiolar on
    <erno> hm. I've lost a machine.. literally _lost_. it responds to ping, it works completely, I just can't figure out where in my apartment it is.

    <TRON> if my calculations are correct SLINKY + ESCALATOR = EVERLASTING FUN

    Also, this.
  • StoverStover Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Start the "I banged Karen" club

    Karen can't join

    Then there's the possibility that all of his friends try to join.

    Stover on
    outoftheloop.jpg
  • Evil MultifariousEvil Multifarious Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    JohnHam wrote:
    Go in to work to meet one of the other people. Have "the Karen" act totally normal, as though you were, say, a phantom.

    Start talking to the guy and then get into a situation where you can see the Karen down the hall or something. You could even be talking to like, a group of people with Karen in sight but not involved.

    Then just out of the blue go, "You know, dudes, I have always kind of had a thing for Karen."

    Then walk up and do her.

    This is the best suggestion.

    If you don't want everyone at work to see your toolkit, though, you could just grab her tits and yell "THESE ARE SATISFACTORY, I WILL SEE YOU AT LUNCHTIME."

    Evil Multifarious on
  • RemingtonRemington Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    JohnHam wrote:
    Go in to work to meet one of the other people. Have "the Karen" act totally normal, as though you were, say, a phantom.

    Start talking to the guy and then get into a situation where you can see the Karen down the hall or something. You could even be talking to like, a group of people with Karen in sight but not involved.

    Then just out of the blue go, "You know, dudes, I have always kind of had a thing for Karen."

    Then walk up and do her.

    This is the best suggestion.

    If you don't want everyone at work to see your toolkit, though, you could just grab her tits and yell "THESE ARE SATISFACTORY, I WILL SEE YOU AT LUNCHTIME."

    In a robot voice.

    Remington on
  • ArcibiArcibi Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Just be all "hands up, who fucked Karen last night"

    Then raise your hand like you're that one kid in the class who really wants the teacher to call on him

    Arcibi on
    GameTrailers | Goozex | Check out: Arcibi's Dev Blog and Robot House Games
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    Wii: 5024 6786 2934 2806 | Steam/XBL: Arcibi | FFXI: Arcibi / Bahamut
  • JJJJ DailyStormer Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    take off your shirt and have her shit on your chest then suck her pussy while she's menstruating.

    Stop fucking around and go for it, pussy.

    This is the best way.

    JJ on
  • BbajBbaj Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    This is almost like some kind of Aristocrats thread.

    Bbaj on
  • FalloutFallout GIRL'S DAY WAS PRETTY GOOD WHILE THEY LASTEDRegistered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Dynagrip wrote:
    ITT DeusFaux lets us know he's getting some.

    Dynagrip has his Spear of Truth equipped today I see

    +1 piercing to the heart of the matter

    Fallout on
    xcomsig.png
  • BearcatBearcat Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Shoot all your friends with a gun.
    That's always surprising.

    Bearcat on
  • NucshNucsh Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Post about it on the internet.

    Citizens of the internet always want to hear about someone fucking.

    We just care like that.

    Nucsh on
    [SIGPIC]GIANT ENEMY BEAR[/SIGPIC]
  • WikipediaWikipedia __BANNED USERS regular
    edited February 2007
    Nucsh wrote:
    Post about it on the internet.

    Citizens of the internet always want to hear about someone fucking.

    We just care like that.

    It is the closest some of us will ever get to fucking.

    Wikipedia on
  • NucshNucsh Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Wikipedia wrote:
    Nucsh wrote:
    Post about it on the internet.

    Citizens of the internet always want to hear about someone fucking.

    We just care like that.

    It is the closest some of us will ever get to fucking.

    Think of Quetzi when you post about fucking.

    Think of poor, poor Quetzi.

    Nucsh on
    [SIGPIC]GIANT ENEMY BEAR[/SIGPIC]
  • WikipediaWikipedia __BANNED USERS regular
    edited February 2007
    Nucsh wrote:
    Wikipedia wrote:
    Nucsh wrote:
    Post about it on the internet.

    Citizens of the internet always want to hear about someone fucking.

    We just care like that.

    It is the closest some of us will ever get to fucking.

    Think of Quetzi when you post about fucking.

    Think of poor, poor Quetzi.

    Actually I am having all of my conversations about fucking fulfilled via instant messenger.

    Wikipedia on
  • Forever ZefiroForever Zefiro cloaked in the midnight glory of an event horizonRegistered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Arcibi wrote:
    Just be all "hands up, who fucked Karen last night"

    Then raise your hand like you're that one kid in the class who really wants the teacher to call on him

    This will also help you find out if she's cheating on you with any of them

    Forever Zefiro on
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