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Tales from the Public Restroom
Trillian
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
We've all been there.
You're out and about have to "use the facilities" really badly so you dive into the nearest bathroom you can find. What you may find in there, however is always a surprise. It seems not everyone uses those facilities the same way, or indeed for the same purpose.
Today I was in the ladies bathroom at Sears in downtown Vancouver and both of the stalls were occupied. A stall door opened, without the usual preceeding toilet flush, and a really tall girl wearing tights and heels walked out.
I go to enter said stall, and notice that the toilet was clean, and the seat had not been peed on (this is a Big Deal in this town because 9 times out of 10 in this town someone's pissed on the seat).
I look at the floor and oh shit. She's peed on it. There's a big ole puddle right in the middle of the stall.
Fucking. Great.
I wait for the next stall, and lo and behold, the old lady who was in there before me had let loose her bladder all over the fucking seat.
I give up, and resign myself to standing cross-legged on the escalator to use the bathroom on the upper level. No, I did not pee on the seat or on the floor.
So tell me, SE++, what sort of horrors has a bathroom wreaked upon your life.
You're out and about have to "use the facilities" really badly so you dive into the nearest bathroom you can find. What you may find in there, however is always a surprise. It seems not everyone uses those facilities the same way, or indeed for the same purpose.
Today I was in the ladies bathroom at Sears in downtown Vancouver and both of the stalls were occupied. A stall door opened, without the usual preceeding toilet flush, and a really tall girl wearing tights and heels walked out.
I go to enter said stall, and notice that the toilet was clean, and the seat had not been peed on (this is a Big Deal in this town because 9 times out of 10 in this town someone's pissed on the seat).
I look at the floor and oh shit. She's peed on it. There's a big ole puddle right in the middle of the stall.
Fucking. Great.
I wait for the next stall, and lo and behold, the old lady who was in there before me had let loose her bladder all over the fucking seat.
I give up, and resign myself to standing cross-legged on the escalator to use the bathroom on the upper level. No, I did not pee on the seat or on the floor.
So tell me, SE++, what sort of horrors has a bathroom wreaked upon your life.
They cast a shadow like a sundial in the morning light. It was half past 10.
Trillian on
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Posts
One time she told me she was checking her hair in the mirror when a woman came up and stood next to her and just said
"Some guy walked by me and said EW"
I held it until I got home instead.
A co-worker of my brother from years back found $20,000 in a hand bag and kept it. No one is going to claim (presumably a drug drop) that if you turn it in to the police lady, and you get it after a few months.
I also have walked into a men's room to find blood on every stall seat. I held my poop in instead.
And I have to say, the Canadian ones? Generally cleaner!
Hell even their fast food bathrooms are cleaner
It's mind boggling shit
PSN ID : DetectiveOlivaw | TWITTER | STEAM ID | NEVER FORGET
STEAM
So I don't do it.
Fuck that, send one of the useless slow people to do it, I'm busy trying to keep a couple hundred people per hour happy.
I've been told the female bathrooms there were worse.
wanna hear this story
He had pooped, then smeared it on the walls and left it in the toilet. I was not the one that cleaned that, however I'm sure the person who did is grateful they didn't leave it on the floor.
The strangest thing I've seen is the shrine incident.
Monday through Thursday, some time between 1 and 5 PM, some one would go into the same stall and use the restroom.
After they were done, they'd lift the seat and cover the thing in toilet paper. Never flush.
Now, when I say cover, I mean they'd turn the damn thing into an artistic homage to their excrement.
Sometimes it would be streamers starting from the center and flowing around the bowl.
Sometimes paper would cascade from the top of the toilet lid and into the water, then out again - like a waterfall.
Once paper was laid criss-cross across bowl opening like a basket weave.
This went on for about a month. I never figured out who it was.
I haven't been able to figure out who, but apparently one of the dudes is the incredible hulk when it comes to shitting. Twice has damage happened to The Coveted Handicrapper Stall. Once, the sliding lock-bar was snapped completely in half. I'm imagining some poor dude playing angry birds on his iphone while he drops the kids off at the pool and suddenly HulkShitter bursts in like a police raid.
Secondly, and I don't even know how this happened, half the toilet seat was broken off. The weird part was nobody ever found where the part broken off ended up.
Tonight I was at the bars and was privy to a manly conversation in the men's restroom. Just one man complimenting another man on his beard.
Whoever it is deserves a medal.
It was also reported for awesome but I have no idea who it was or how long ago.
i remember this story
and the story about the story still makes me laugh.
Not sure if I used that particular restroom the rest of high school.
The Poo So Bad It Beat The Professionals
Other countries are confusing!
Isn't it in Pip's sig?
*tap tap tap tap tap*
huuuuurrrrrggg *plop*
*tap tap tap tap*
Such as work, or school or many other situations
true story!
Thankfully I'm regular enough that I can time my poops while only at home. Peeing doesn't matter since I don't actually have to touch any part of the bathroom other than the floor.
Every once in a while I see someone has carved into a stall wall "Toy Story 2 was okay"
And I smile
PSN ID : DetectiveOlivaw | TWITTER | STEAM ID | NEVER FORGET
are you a small amish boy and the sole witness to a brutal murder of a police officer?
:^::^: