It's this little place roughly around the Mediterranean Sea where your parents sometimes go on holidays and we got some great countries and politicians.
Here the Penny Arcadian masses from the European continent can discuss their glorious leaders and their politics and of course our American friends can join in.
For our American readers I will introduce some of our colorful heads of state:
Italy
The people of Italy really love this guy. He owns the place.
His name stands for quality TV entertainment, corruption and orgies with underage hookers.
I guess pretty soon we will learn that he enjoys deepfried fetus for breakfast and Italians will all be like "omg ur teh funny Silvio olol"
Once said that Obama has a great tan.
Likes to get "friends" into political offices, escpecially female friends.
Might have ties to the Cosa Nostra.
Likes to chill with Vladimir Putin.
The list goes on and on.
France
The current King of France, Nicolas Sarkozy.
As Minister of the Interior he became fast friends with the different ethnic groups of France and is still worshipped in the banlieues.
Is only 4 feet tall but compensates with his ego.
His wife is pretty hot.
Germany
She might seem a bit boring compared to those other two guys, but our chancelorette is a force to be reckoned with.
Not much to say about her, she likes to wait and wait and see and wait a bit more till it becomes totally obvious what's the option that might benefit her the most and more importantly won't damage her position and then do that.
So she is not doing much most of the time.
The UK
I don't really know all that much about this guy. He is a Tory. He won because of the Liberal Democrats and now they who dissed the Tories during the election campaign have made themselves pretty obsolete, at least that's what it seems like to me as a foreigner.
We also got lots of other fun countries here in Europe, like
Belgium, where they get a new government about every two weeks and the
Netherlands famous for cheese and soft drugs and
Spain that was actually a fascist regime till well into the 70s.
Currently I think what we all have in common is fear of recession, decline in living standards, growing prejudices towards muslims and/or people of middle-eastern origin and fear of terrorist attacks.
And of course a fast growing resentment towards the beloved and competent politicians that rule us and towards the established political systems and a tendency to flock towards radical conservative borderline(or sometimes already across the border) racist political parties because "They finally say what we are all secretly thinking, am I right?".
But let's hear from all the other people from those funny little countries with their funny little languages.
Posts
You'd be right.
He's a hard man to photograph since he flees as soon as he risks appearing in media, but he looks like a kiwi crossed with a sad panda. He enjoys long walks on the beach, appearing for media to take credit for good stuff and send out a sacrificial minister to announce any bad stuff while he hides under a blanket.
He is currently busy dismantling the social security safety net that Sweden used to be internationally renowned for.
You got it good there, everything is ace, best schools, proper social security, you can afford to have a PM that looks a bit odd.
You mean we had that. International news just hasn't caught up yet.
I think it might be because a lot of Europe has proportional representation of some kind. Far right parties might get more votes here if there were actually a hope of those votes turning into seats.
We elected the Sweden Democrat fuckmuppets to parliament here. They are currently busy talking about the weather, so they don't have to think about the possibility of Muslim countries actually overthrowing their governments and possibly taking a more secular path, because that goes against their entire message of "MUSLIMS R SCARY" and "DEY TUK AR JARBS".
That could be it. Though, if I remember correctly, PR would actually mean less chance of seats for the fascist parties over here based on voting at the last General Election.
I dunno. I just find the situation kind of worrying.
But this guy here:
Thilo Sarrazin
In 2010 published an absolute superhit bestselling book about how Germans were being replaced and turned into a minority by immigrants from islamic states because they all breed like crazy and we don't and they infiltrate and erodite our culture and they are genetically inferior because they are less intelligent than Europeans and he can prove that on an Etch-A-Sketch.
He also talked some crazy talk about genes and how Jews have a common gene and how they were very intelligent as well and stuff like that in some interviews.
People love this guy and think he unveiled some hidden truth we were all too afraid to acknowledge and the worst thing is he is a social democrat.
Yeah, it is kinda scary, especially when I hear some of my less bright coworkers agree to these ideas and it is really showing that our politicians and a lot of the media are not commenting at all on the possible positive outcomes of the current revolutions in the Muslim countries.
Our foreign minister said that Mubarak was a great guy and a strong partner only a couple of months ago.
Our foreign minister just said about Libya that he "doesn't want to support one side or the other" yet, because "it's about stability in the region".
The Libyan state is using tanks and bombers against its own people right now, and he's talking "stability".
I'll be holding this grudge for another 50 years.
It's on!
Here with his beautyful wife who did a German version of this pedohunting show on TV and became popular with the masses.
Coming from a noble family with about 400 million Euros to their name he is the posterboy of German politics.
He has also never really worked a day in his life, apart from internships he cites as working for international law firms in his bio and was introduced into the inner circle of German politics at the tender age of 30 or so.
Some conspiracy nuts believe he is a puppet of the new world order and in his case I might almost believe it.
Currently he has come under some media crossfire because apparently he has faked parts of his dissertation or might have had a ghostwriter, the jury is still out on that one.
But they still love him.
Keep in mind that what constitutes "far right" in most European countries would be considered borderline Socialist (or at best Moderate) by American standards.
This is changing, though. Echo was complaining about Swedish politicians wanting to dismantle their social security system, and the very same thing is going on here in Finland. "We must remain internationally competitive" is the usual argument behind such policies, but I've never quite understood what they mean by that, starting with who exactly might they mean by "we".
"We must harmonize with international law praxis" is another nice weasel phrase. It's usually code for "USA bends us over the barrel and wants these laws".
These guys haven't had a government in ages. They like to go for endurance periods without governments. Because they're hard core like that.
This is Lars Lykke Rasmussen, Denmark's current prime minister. He is also, like the Swedish prime minister, trying to dismantle parts of the social security system piece by piece. These changes are also known as "reforms" (since "destroying" is bad for PR). Last change they got through was a change in unemployment benefits from 4 years of unemployment benefits to 2 years (0 years would probably have resulted in a lynching).
Currently he and his party, Venstre ("Left", but they are actually right wing), are trying to "reform" a system loosely translated as "After payment" which is a system where old and worn down workers can retire from the working force earlier (if they are below the required age of going on pension) and be paid money from a pool managed by the state (which they in turn have paid to during all the previous years of working). The state, always bleeding money from several puncture wounds, is trying to dismantle this system so they can get a hold of this pool. Sadly (for Rasmussen and his party) this is not working at all according to plan. At the moment Rasmussen and Venstre are holding out for the upcoming election in November where they hope to secure enough seats to push the reform through parliament (as they currently lack enough votes).
To be honest I do not think that is going to happen. Last time they won (2007) was, in my opinion, due to an ineffective opposition. But then again, Lars Lykke Rasmussen was not the guy we voted for in 2007. It was this guy
who is currently the head honcho of NATO. Talk about having a tough race.
I only know the stories of a friend who works there, but he made me believe that Belgium is the craziest, most corrupt place in the world.
I'm really hoping the VVD/CDA/PVV trio don't get a majority. Though... with the way the CDA has been selling out lately in their desperate attempts to remain in power, things are looking good (for me, not them; their electorate is getting kind of pissed off). And now they don't even have the benefit of Harry Potter any more. Instead, they have the guy whose arrogance and eagerness to suck US dick caused the last government to fall.
Oh, and, OP, Belgium doesn't have a new government every two weeks. Currently they've technically been without a government since June last year because the parties that won are so incapable of working together a new government hasn't formed yet.
So when will you guys finally claim the Flemish population of Belgium and get this over with?
We'll take the Flemish back when they're ready for it. :P
Even the introduction is copy/pasted, it seems.
Nah, voting patterns change with proportional representation. People will vote for the party they want in government rather than against the parties they certainly don't want in the government. (or at least, they do it less)
You could also claim that mainland Europe is far more left wing because we also have commies and greens in parliament a lot.
Also, there's an element of backlash in Northern Europe because prior to the last 10 or 15 years or so the governments were generally very left wing.
Let us all rage at our politicians and the morons that vote them in together.
This current administration is actually the first time in the history of Sweden that the Moderates won the election twice in a row. Before that they always got kicked out in the next election.
Huh? Who are you talking about?
This is not true. This was never true. The Austrian Freedom party is equivalent to the far right guys in the US who think that we need to take away the citizenship of Hispanics, and Christian Democracy took root in Europe right after WW2. "Right" isn't necessarily a bad thing, but Europe isn't way farther to the left than we are.
I was confused because the cause of the fall of the government was the PvdA. You might as well say that Balkenende caused the fall by being spineless instead of the party that quit the government.
If he hadn't pulled such a dick move, the PvdA wouldn't have left and government wouldn't have fallen.
This is Mari Kiviniemi, the Finnish prime minister. She, too, is an enemy of social security, although her and her party's strategy is devious in its simplicity: maintain a stranglehold on all aspects of social security, from unemployment and housing benefits to healthcare and pensions, keeping everything at the same level it's been for the last 20 years despite the fact that the costs of living and healthcare have increased dramatically in that time. Apparently the idea is to just let social security slowly wither and die, while still pretending to support the welfare state ideology. Their diabolical plan is working like a charm: our social security expenses / GDP have already fallen below the European average, to roughly the same level as Italy. Yet we still pay extremely high taxes to support the mythical welfare state that no longer exists.
Here she's plotting with the Swedish prime minister.
Except that the CDA and ChristenUnie claimed the PvdA-ministers knew about it.
Not that I even get why this was a dickmove if they didn't know about it. Getting a letter to lend some support doesn't strike me as anything but normal behaviour.
Getting a letter from NATO probably wouldn't have been a big deal.
Verhagen sending NATO a request to send us a letter in a transparant attempt to pressure the PvdA into going along with extending our stay in Uruzgan (which they pretty much promised they wouldn't) is kind of a dick move. How can you trust a coalition partner willing to screw you over like that?
Original thread.
http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3390024
NATIONAL COALITION (sometimes called "Conservatives" by foreign media)
Leader: Jyrki Katainen
History: Formed as a coalition of monarchists in the early days of the Republic. Has since been a conservative party that's became more and more liberal throughout the years.
How it sees itself: A modern moderate party of the right which strives for a sensible budget and wishes to boost the economy by cutting high taxes and onerous regulations.
How the others see it: A bunch of yuppies who want to keep getting richer while the rest of the nation gets fucked. Occasionally talk about our veterans and so on to hide the fact that they mostly serve Washington, Brussels and multinational corporations.
CENTRE
Leader: Mari Kiviniemi, who is currently the Prime Minister
History: Established as an agrarian party before independence, has since expanded somewhat from their agrarian roots
How it sees itself: A humanist, centrist party, the only big party that rises above petty labor-market struggles to care for the poor and those who live outside of Helsinki.
How the others see it: An amorphous non-ideological blob based on bitterness and greed of the people who live in the boonies. Would sell their own mothers to keep the money train running from Helsinki to places where no-one lives in. Also hugely corrupt.
SOCIAL DEMOCRATS
Leader: Jutta Urpilainen
History: Established a socialist party of the workers. The current Social Democrats have evolved from the faction of the party that didn't participate in the Red Guard side of the Finnish Civil War in 1918 (the other faction became the Communists).
How it sees itself: Still a party of the normal working people, making sure that the other two big parties don't kill the labor movement and cut wages to shit.
How the others see it: An utterly gray party for union and governmental bureaucrats which mainly defends old creaky governmental structures that don't really work but keep them employed. Also a bunch of aunties that want to ban everything fun.
Smaller parties:
LEFT ALLIANCE
Leader: Paavo Arhinmäki
History: Evolved from a merger of FPDL, Finnish Communist Party and a stalinist splinter faction.
How it sees itself: A modern red-green democratic socialist party, the only party that dares to challenge capitalism.
How the others see it: An irrelevant, diminishing party for angry old commies who still think that Soviet Union was a good thing and smelly young radicals.
GREENS
Leader: Anni Sinnemäki
History: Started by a diverse bunch of ecological activists, pacifists, feminists, disability-rights activists and others in the 80s.
How it sees itself: A truly alternative party which cares for environment and other things other parties don't really care about. The party that is not right-wing or left-wing but forward-wing.
How the others see it: The left sees them as the parks division of the National Coalition, the right sees them as naive hippies and Stalinists, and most people can agree that they are a bunch of smug Helsinki hipsters. Simultaneously attempt to be in the government and in opposition.
SWEDISH PEOPLE'S PARTY
Leader: Stefan Wallin
History: One of the earliest parties in Finland, originally established to protect the primacy of Swedish language, has since became a party for Swedish-speaking minority in general.
How it sees itself: Not just a language party! A liberal party which considers it important that everyone can speak the language of their birth (at least if it's Finnish or Swedish)
How the others see it: A party for rich Swedish-speaking bättre folk who hate speaking ugly guttural Mongoloid Finnish language when they go shopping. Even more ideology-free than Centre - would probably participate in a Nazi or Stalinist government if it was a bilingual Nazi/Stalinist government.
CHRISTIAN DEMOCRATS
Leader: Päivi Räsänen
History: Started by free-churchers in National Coalition, who were concerned about the liberal direction of the country, somewhere around 70s.
How it sees itself: The party that dares to say that morals and religion are still important.
How the others see it: Fundies that want gays back in the closet and women barefoot and pregnant.
and last but not least, TRUE FINNS
Leader: Timo Soini
History: Evolved from the old populist Finnish Rural Party, nowadays a more general party of protest
How it sees itself: Finally an alternative to old corrupt elitist parties, the only party that dares to speak plainly about immigration, EU, bilingualism and other things that the Powers That Be have thus far been afraid to discuss.
How the others see it: Angry dumb people who hate furriners, Swedish-speakers, the environment and "the elites", whoever they are, and who worship a fat frog-like fraud (Soini) who offers quips instead of policy.
Oh and the True Finns are also running Kari Tykkyläinen, who is a bear-man.
Also there's some microparties. None of them probably have a chance of getting anyone elected.
COMMUNIST PARTY OF FINLAND, COMMUNIST WORKERS PARTY, WORKERS PARTY OF FINLAND Sectarian commie parties. Communist Party of Finland is the least crazy and generally the biggest microparty, Communist Workers Party is Marxist-Leninist and almost dead, Workers Party is a collection of Juche believers, antifascists (not Antifa types, think Antideutsch expect with a boner for Russia instead of Israel) and other fringe sects.
CHANGE 2011, FREEDOM PARTY: Anti-immigration parties for those who think that True Finns are too moderate. Also support direct democracy. Change 2011 is claiming that actually they don't really care about immigration that much, Freedom Party is quite openly a collection of nuts from previous failed far-right projects.
INDEPENDENCE PARTY: rargh grah EU is the Antichrist
FOR THE POOR: one-woman project, led by a slightly unhinged former Christian Democrat
SENIOR CITIZENS PARTY: We're old, give us money
PIRATE PARTY: Nerds.
The latest polls:
National Coalition 19,8%
Centre 19,3%
Social Democrats 17,3%
True Finns 17,0%
Greens 9,2%
Left: 7,3%
Christian Democrats: 4,1%
Swedish People's Party: 4,0%
Well, marginally, and about half. Because to form a government in Europe you usually have to make a deal with a devil - some other political party so you can claim majority. In Finland, pretty much every party has been allied with every other party at one point of their life. They all hate each other but are forced to work together.
Trust a partner in politics? In a coalition it is expected that each party tries to accomplish as much of their agenda as they can while blocking the other parties agendas. Unless something is in the prior agreement (regeerakkoord) it's fair game. I'd expect my partner to try a lot to get what they want and a fucking letter from NATO would mean I'd think less of them. Seriously, NATO? Try getting something that would actually have an effect.
Maybe it's because I don't believe there are non-cynical, non-suspicious politicians (except for Partij voor de Dieren) but this just seemed like political posturing on both sides.
Well in Ireland we have an odd situation.
The two biggest parties are Fianna Fáil and Fine Gael. Policy wise there is very little separating the two but neither party have ever gone into coalition with each other because of an argument that can be traced back to the Irish Civil War in 1922.