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For the "Google-Impaired"

wavy gravywavy gravy Registered User regular
edited September 2007 in Games and Technology
Make a complete stranger search for you. It's not only ridiculously lazy of you to do so, it's fun!

At first glance it may seem as if it's just another search engine, but look closely and you'll see a button stamped "Search With Guide". Random people invited by other "Guides" is what the employee base is composed of, they aid you by chatting with you one-on-one asking questions until they narrow down what it is you need.

Here is an example of a search I conducted:

Keyboard Cleaning

Status: Connecting ...
Status: Looking for a guide ...
Ring: ...
Status: Connected to guide: AnnE
AnnE: Welcome to ChaCha!
You: Hello?
AnnE: Hello! I will be your ChaCha guide for your search request today.
AnnE: Hello
You: Yes, I am attempting to clean my keyboard and have stumbled
upon a number of hard-to-remove items.
AnnE: Do you have a desktop or laptop computer?
You: that is non of your concern.
AnnE: OK, what are you trying to remove?
You: In particular there are: bits of cheese, staples, a spider leg, and lots of pubic hair.
AnnE: Thank you for using ChaCha!
Status: Session ended.

Forgot to include the link:

http://www.chacha.com/

EDIT

DO NOT post chat logs with guides which include harassment/abuse doing so could get you banned for a little while, or longer. You will see a few of these in the first several pages, these were posted before the mods declared possibility of bannage.

wavy gravy on
«134567…12

Posts

  • FreddyDFreddyD Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    They lost points for not telling you to cleanse it with fire.

    FreddyD on
  • Dublo7Dublo7 Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Status: Connecting ...
    Status: Looking for a guide ...
    Status: Connected to guide: MichaelP
    MichaelP: Welcome to ChaCha!
    MichaelP: Hello
    You: Hello
    MichaelP: I will be your guide for this search session.
    You: I need a bit of help with something
    MichaelP: Sure, if I can.
    You: I was wondering if you know of anything to clean protein based liquids off of LCD monitors.
    MichaelP: One moment please while I look for some results.
    You: Awesome.
    You: Can you sort of hurry? My parents are going to be home soon.
    You: If they find out I was looking at porn, I'm pretty fucked.
    MichaelP: sorry I was getting run time errors
    You: Oh man, thanks so much.
    You: You totally saved my ass.
    MichaelP: Are these results sufficient?
    You: Totally. These will get rid of the evidence.
    You: Peace out!
    MichaelP: Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha.
    Status: Session ended.

    Dublo7 on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Neo RasaNeo Rasa Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Edit: The tail end of that did not exist until you edited it in. Did you just adjust your story in a fraudulent manner?

    This thread is pointless, and yet I will never tire of all of you posting tales of asking for help with removing semen from PC components. Continue.

    Neo Rasa on
    "You know how Batman hangs people over the edge of buildings and gets them to spill information. That's Neo Rasa's way of it, but instead of information, he just likes to see people suffer." ~Senor Fish
  • Dublo7Dublo7 Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Man, the possibilities are endless.

    Dublo7 on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • ZeonZeon Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Theyre apparently based in the USA, i have no idea how they can be profitable.

    Zeon on
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  • ViolentChemistryViolentChemistry __BANNED USERS regular
    edited February 2007
    Neo Rasa wrote:
    This thread is pointless, and yet I will never tire of all of you posting tales of asking for help with removing semen from PC components. Continue.
    Just get a good even coat on there and tell everyone you bought an ivory computer because you miss your grandma's grand piano.

    ViolentChemistry on
  • Neo RasaNeo Rasa Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Zeon wrote:
    Theyre apparently based in the USA, i have no idea how they can be profitable.

    I would assume the number of people incapable of handling ejaculatory fluids is high.

    Neo Rasa on
    "You know how Batman hangs people over the edge of buildings and gets them to spill information. That's Neo Rasa's way of it, but instead of information, he just likes to see people suffer." ~Senor Fish
  • bongibongi regular
    edited February 2007
    what did you get egg on your screen or something

    because semen has very low protein content if that was supposed to be your joke

    bongi on
  • wavy gravywavy gravy Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Zeon wrote:
    Theyre apparently based in the USA, i have no idea how they can be profitable.

    Neither do I, but their employees are on the clock only when in a conversation with a searcher.

    wavy gravy on
  • projectmayhemprojectmayhem Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Greatest thread ever or greatest thread ever?

    projectmayhem on
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  • Neo RasaNeo Rasa Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    bongi wrote:
    what did you get egg on your screen or something

    because semen has very low protein content if that was supposed to be your joke

    It's protein content is equal to that of egg whites.

    Neo Rasa on
    "You know how Batman hangs people over the edge of buildings and gets them to spill information. That's Neo Rasa's way of it, but instead of information, he just likes to see people suffer." ~Senor Fish
  • Dublo7Dublo7 Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    bongi wrote:
    what did you get egg on your screen or something

    because semen has very low protein content if that was supposed to be your joke
    You're totally blowing my buzz.

    edit - Hey, you're wrong!

    Dublo7 on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • KrizKriz Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    bongi wrote:
    what did you get egg on your screen or something

    because semen has very low protein content if that was supposed to be your joke

    bongi is the semen expert.

    Kriz on
  • bongibongi regular
    edited February 2007
    Neo Rasa wrote:
    bongi wrote:
    what did you get egg on your screen or something

    because semen has very low protein content if that was supposed to be your joke

    It's protein content is equal to that of egg whites.
    ok well not egg then

    shush you you're making me look less clever than i was posturing myself as

    bongi on
  • Neo RasaNeo Rasa Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    bongi wrote:
    shush you you're making me look less clever than i was posturing myself as

    Not a difficult endeavor. ;)

    Neo Rasa on
    "You know how Batman hangs people over the edge of buildings and gets them to spill information. That's Neo Rasa's way of it, but instead of information, he just likes to see people suffer." ~Senor Fish
  • ZeonZeon Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    wavy gravy wrote:
    Zeon wrote:
    Theyre apparently based in the USA, i have no idea how they can be profitable.

    Neither do I, but their employees are on the clock only when in a conversation with a searcher.

    But.... unless they have like, 1000 employees, theyre pretty much always going to be on the clock. I mean, they must have multiple conversations going on at once, because im sure im not the only one on the website fucking around with them at this time of night.

    Still, i cant decide whether it would be a really high paying job, or a really low paying job.

    Also, shit like this is what makes me think we're heading for another dot com bust.

    Zeon on
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  • 4rch3nemy4rch3nemy Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    someone make them find you goatse.cx.jpg

    4rch3nemy on
  • KrizKriz Registered User regular
    edited February 2007 
    Status: Connected to guide: MichelleM
MichelleM: Welcome to ChaCha!
You: tell me, michelle...what is the saddest thing?
MichelleM: Sure, I'm getting some links that tells you...
You: nooo!

    Kriz on
  • Neo RasaNeo Rasa Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Zeon wrote:
    Still, i cant decide whether it would be a really high paying job, or a really low paying job.

    I'm going to go with really low paying. Above minimum wage but still nothing that would make this your primary occupation.

    They HAVE to be having multiple conversations at once. There's no other way.

    Neo Rasa on
    "You know how Batman hangs people over the edge of buildings and gets them to spill information. That's Neo Rasa's way of it, but instead of information, he just likes to see people suffer." ~Senor Fish
  • ArcticXCArcticXC Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    I think mono looked into it once. Apparently you make about $7/hr to search for things for people. He could probably elaborate but he's busy touching dicks with revolve right now.

    ArcticXC on
  • wavy gravywavy gravy Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Neo Rasa wrote:
    Zeon wrote:
    Still, i cant decide whether it would be a really high paying job, or a really low paying job.

    I'm going to go with really low paying. Above minimum wage but still nothing that would make this your primary occupation.

    They HAVE to be having multiple conversations at once. There's no other way.

    "Our Guides earn between $5-10 per search hour based on performance. With a computer and a broadband Internet connection, Guides can work whenever and wherever they choose."

    http://www.chacha.com/info/guidesignup

    wavy gravy on
  • Neo RasaNeo Rasa Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    wavy gravy wrote:
    Neo Rasa wrote:
    Zeon wrote:
    Still, i cant decide whether it would be a really high paying job, or a really low paying job.

    I'm going to go with really low paying. Above minimum wage but still nothing that would make this your primary occupation.

    They HAVE to be having multiple conversations at once. There's no other way.

    "Our Guides earn between $5-10 per search hour based on performance. With a computer and a broadband Internet connection, Guides can work whenever and wherever they choose."

    http://www.chacha.com/info/guidesignup

    Lunacy. If there's a finite minimum pay bracket then ANYONE can do this. There's no way in hell they make money off this.

    Neo Rasa on
    "You know how Batman hangs people over the edge of buildings and gets them to spill information. That's Neo Rasa's way of it, but instead of information, he just likes to see people suffer." ~Senor Fish
  • bongibongi regular
    edited February 2007
    Neo Rasa wrote:
    bongi wrote:
    shush you you're making me look less clever than i was posturing myself as

    Not a difficult endeavor. ;)
    true

    bongi on
  • bruinbruin Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Status: Looking for a guide ...
    Status: Connected to guide: AndrewH
    AndrewH: Welcome to ChaCha!
    You: Hey there
    AndrewH: Hello. How may I help you with "bacon"?
    You: I want to know if God eats bacon.
    AndrewH: Without having to look it up, I can tell that he does.
    You: Because it would only make sense that the supreme being eats the supreme food.
    You: Okay, well, do you eat bacon?
    AndrewH: I do on occasion.
    You: Because you are the supreme guide
    You: We should party some time
    AndrewH: Perhaps.

    bruin on
  • projectmayhemprojectmayhem Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    AprilS: Welcome to ChaCha!
    You: um. hi
    AprilS: Hello! How can I assist you with your search?
    You: Yeah, i need to find a site that tells me how to safley remove butt hair
    AprilS: One moment please while I pull up that information for you
    You: Thanks. Before all i got was porn
    AprilS: I will try not to do that
    You: Do you get a lot of akward questions
    AprilS: Yes but its ok
    AprilS: One moment please I am having trouble with my browser
    You: thats ok.
    You: Um..if possible can I get a site with a visual aid?
    AprilS: Are you looking for centers or home remedies?
    You: Oh man home remedies for sure.
    AprilS: One moment please
    You: In no way do I want someone else doing this AprilS: I understand
    You: How long has this site been around
    AprilS: Not too long I dont think
    You: Cool. My friend told me about it because he had a question about building his own flux engine
    AprilS: Great!
    AprilS: I found a home recipe for hair removal
    You: Recipe? Do I have to cook anything?
    AprilS: No I dont think so
    AprilS: I will continue searching
    You: I was kinda hoping for like, a quick fix i guess? something i could just get up and do
    AprilS: Here is a site that may interest you
    You: I think that will work.
    AprilS: Great!
    AprilS: Is there anything else on this topic I can find for you today?
    You: No thank you
    AprilS: Thank you for using ChaCha! Have a great night! :)
    AprilS: Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha.
    Status: Session ended.



    Meh

    projectmayhem on
    steam_sig.png http://tripppage.com http://lookatthislistentothis.tumblr.com/
  • Dublo7Dublo7 Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Kriz wrote:
    Status: Connected to guide: MichelleM
MichelleM: Welcome to ChaCha!
You: tell me, michelle...what is the saddest thing?
MichelleM: Sure, I'm getting some links that tells you...
You: nooo!
    Hahahaha :lol:

    Dublo7 on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • SniperGuySniperGuy SniperGuyGaming Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Not to be a fun killer but..isn't this kinda harassment? We had an annoying guy come into vent once and tell us how he kept getting people to search for goatse.

    SniperGuy on
  • littwentythreelittwentythree Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    bruin wrote:
    Status: Looking for a guide ...
    Status: Connected to guide: AndrewH
    AndrewH: Welcome to ChaCha!
    You: Hey there
    AndrewH: Hello. How may I help you with "bacon"?
    You: I want to know if God eats bacon.
    AndrewH: Without having to look it up, I can tell that he does.
    You: Because it would only make sense that the supreme being eats the supreme food.
    You: Okay, well, do you eat bacon?
    AndrewH: I do on occasion.
    You: Because you are the supreme guide
    You: We should party some time
    AndrewH: Perhaps.

    :^:

    littwentythree on
    newsig.png
  • EinEin CaliforniaRegistered User regular
    edited February 2007
    This is pretty awesome, but I can't think of what I would use it for other than griefing the guides.

    Ein on
  • ZeonZeon Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    bruin wrote:
    Status: Looking for a guide ...
    Status: Connected to guide: AndrewH
    AndrewH: Welcome to ChaCha!
    You: Hey there
    AndrewH: Hello. How may I help you with "bacon"?
    You: I want to know if God eats bacon.
    AndrewH: Without having to look it up, I can tell that he does.
    You: Because it would only make sense that the supreme being eats the supreme food.
    You: Okay, well, do you eat bacon?
    AndrewH: I do on occasion.
    You: Because you are the supreme guide
    You: We should party some time
    AndrewH: Perhaps.

    God wouldnt eat bacon. He doesnt let his chosen people, the jews eat it, why would he? He obviously believes theres something wrong with it.

    Well, either that or he knows its so awesome hes waiting until they get to heaven and just let them swim around in a big pool full of it.

    Also, can i sign up for this? I guess its like telecommuting. Even if i only made like, 40 bucks a week doing it, thats still pretty neat.

    Zeon on
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  • wavy gravywavy gravy Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Status: Connecting ...
    Status: Looking for a guide ...
    Status: Connected to guide: MichaelP
    MichaelP: Welcome to ChaCha!
    You: Hello Michael
    MichaelP: Hello I will be your guide for this search session.
    You: I am intrigued as to what the human soul looks like.
    MichaelP: So you want a description or picture?
    You: If you could draw it for me, I'll be happy.
    You: ...
    You: I'm waiting Michael.
    MichaelP: One moment please while I get your results.
    You: Michael, I am sorry to say that there is a time limit in place here.
    You: If you do not meet my expectations, I will be forced to give negative feedback to your superiors.
    MichaelP: I will need to transfer you to a guide that can meet your requirements.
    Transfer: You are being transfered to another guide who can help you search even better!
    Looking for guide ...
    Status: Connected to guide: MichaelF
    MichaelF: Welcome to ChaCha!
    MichaelF: hello!
    You: I was just talking to a Michael
    You: except, it was Michael P
    MichaelF: You are lucky
    You: ...
    You: Are you a fortune cookie?
    MichaelF: I wish. what can i help you find?
    You: Well, it seems as though no one can help me find what the human soul looks like.
    You: If you, however, could draw it for me...
    MichaelF: As you can imagine
    MichaelF: Thank you for using ChaCha!
    Status: Session ended.

    wavy gravy on
  • bruinbruin Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    wavy gravy wrote:
    You: Are you a fortune cookie?
    MichaelF: I wish.
    O_o
    :lol:

    bruin on
  • tido14tido14 Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Status: Connecting ...
    Status: Looking for a guide ...
    Ring: ...
    Status: Connected to guide: SandraL
    SandraL: Welcome to ChaCha!
    You: Hello, thank you for the kind welcome!
    SandraL: hi
    You: I am searching for Brian.
    SandraL: who is Brian may I ask
    You: Brian is my son. He went missing at a monster truck show in Nashville this past December.
    SandraL: you need to call the police
    SandraL: we don't find people I'm sorry
    You: I have called the police, but that has only caused problems. They claim that I am negligent.
    You: Please help me find Brian. He is my reason for living.
    SandraL: well, I can't help you one moment while I transfer you
    Transfer: You are being transfered to another guide who can help you search even better!
    Status: Looking for a guide ...
    Status: Connected to guide: CharisseV
    CharisseV: Welcome to ChaCha!
    CharisseV: Hi
    CharisseV: I hope you are having a great day!
    You: My day is pretty ok actually, can you help me find my Brian?
    CharisseV: Sure
    CharisseV: Brian who
    You: Brian Orsillo
    You: My son.
    You: I was told that you could help me, since the police couldn't.
    You: The last guide told me that.
    CharisseV: What do you mean?
    CharisseV: Is he missing?
    CharisseV: How old is he?
    CharisseV: Also, what state are you looking for him in?
    You: Sorry, the phone was ringing. I always check to see if it is Brian.
    CharisseV: Ok, I left three questions for you to answer.
    You: I last saw Brian in Nashville, TN. He is 24 years old.
    You: He suffers from down syndrome. He cannot take care of himself.
    You: Have you found him yet?
    CharisseV: Have you filed a missing person's report on him?
    You: The Nashville police tell me that someone with down syndrome is not classified as a 'person' in the state of Tennessee. So I cannot file such a thing...
    CharisseV: Wow, I can't believethat you would prank about someone missing
    CharisseV: when there are children suffering every day at the hands of monsters
    CharisseV: and people disappearing left and right off of this planet, never to be seen again
    CharisseV: I hope you have no children
    CharisseV: because as the mother of a missing child, I can't even begin to tell you what kind of pain that is!
    CharisseV: For you to even joke about something like that, shows that you are lacking compassion and empathy
    You: Have you found Brian yet?

    tido14 on
  • ZombiemamboZombiemambo Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    I wanted to find some clever way that hinted at me having committed a murder, but I couldn't think of one.

    Zombiemambo on
    JKKaAGp.png
  • Soviet WaffleSoviet Waffle Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Zeon wrote:
    bruin wrote:
    Status: Looking for a guide ...
    Status: Connected to guide: AndrewH
    AndrewH: Welcome to ChaCha!
    You: Hey there
    AndrewH: Hello. How may I help you with "bacon"?
    You: I want to know if God eats bacon.
    AndrewH: Without having to look it up, I can tell that he does.
    You: Because it would only make sense that the supreme being eats the supreme food.
    You: Okay, well, do you eat bacon?
    AndrewH: I do on occasion.
    You: Because you are the supreme guide
    You: We should party some time
    AndrewH: Perhaps.

    God wouldnt eat bacon. He doesnt let his chosen people, the jews eat it, why would he? He obviously believes theres something wrong with it.

    Well, either that or he knows its so awesome hes waiting until they get to heaven and just let them swim around in a big pool full of it.

    Also, can i sign up for this? I guess its like telecommuting. Even if i only made like, 40 bucks a week doing it, thats still pretty neat.

    Isn't it obvious? He's saving it all for himself

    Soviet Waffle on
    League of Legends: Studio
  • ZeonZeon Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    I laughed hard at the brian one.

    Zeon on
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  • slash000slash000 Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    There's a local jobs listing thing that students at my university often use, for little side/part-time jobs they can do during school...

    ...ChaCha actually posted a listing there, and I was intrigued, so I actually signed up to be a 'Guide.' The pay is pretty decent considering how little work it is, and you can do it any time.... but I didn't take the job..



    They pay you by making you sign up for a new bank account in Indiana or something, and then they transfer money to your checking account. Something absurd like that.

    slash000 on
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  • Dublo7Dublo7 Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    tido14 wrote:
    Status: Connecting ...
    Status: Looking for a guide ...
    Ring: ...
    Status: Connected to guide: SandraL
    SandraL: Welcome to ChaCha!
    You: Hello, thank you for the kind welcome!
    SandraL: hi
    You: I am searching for Brian.
    SandraL: who is Brian may I ask
    You: Brian is my son. He went missing at a monster truck show in Nashville this past December.
    SandraL: you need to call the police
    SandraL: we don't find people I'm sorry
    You: I have called the police, but that has only caused problems. They claim that I am negligent.
    You: Please help me find Brian. He is my reason for living.
    SandraL: well, I can't help you one moment while I transfer you
    Transfer: You are being transfered to another guide who can help you search even better!
    Status: Looking for a guide ...
    Status: Connected to guide: CharisseV
    CharisseV: Welcome to ChaCha!
    CharisseV: Hi
    CharisseV: I hope you are having a great day!
    You: My day is pretty ok actually, can you help me find my Brian?
    CharisseV: Sure
    CharisseV: Brian who
    You: Brian Orsillo
    You: My son.
    You: I was told that you could help me, since the police couldn't.
    You: The last guide told me that.
    CharisseV: What do you mean?
    CharisseV: Is he missing?
    CharisseV: How old is he?
    CharisseV: Also, what state are you looking for him in?
    You: Sorry, the phone was ringing. I always check to see if it is Brian.
    CharisseV: Ok, I left three questions for you to answer.
    You: I last saw Brian in Nashville, TN. He is 24 years old.
    You: He suffers from down syndrome. He cannot take care of himself.
    You: Have you found him yet?
    CharisseV: Have you filed a missing person's report on him?
    You: The Nashville police tell me that someone with down syndrome is not classified as a 'person' in the state of Tennessee. So I cannot file such a thing...
    CharisseV: Wow, I can't believethat you would prank about someone missing
    CharisseV: when there are children suffering every day at the hands of monsters
    CharisseV: and people disappearing left and right off of this planet, never to be seen again
    CharisseV: I hope you have no children
    CharisseV: because as the mother of a missing child, I can't even begin to tell you what kind of pain that is!
    CharisseV: For you to even joke about something like that, shows that you are lacking compassion and empathy
    You: Have you found Brian yet?

    Oh my god. You fucking win the prize, man.

    Dublo7 on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • ZombiemamboZombiemambo Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Status: Connecting ...
    Status: Looking for a guide ...
    Status: Connected to guide: TengM
    TengM: Welcome to ChaCha!
    TengM: Hello there
    You: Yes, I was looking for a way to remove blood from clothes. And carpeting. And the walls.
    You: Oh god, it's all over the place...
    TengM: Oh, okay, well, can you give me a sec while I pull out the results here?
    TengM: thanks
    You: I'm in a hurry.
    You: Hurry up, I don't have much time!
    TengM: I just sent my first result over
    You: Ok.
    You: Well, it's not dry.
    You: It's very, very fresh.
    TengM: Wipe it with cloth and only with cold water not warm or hot water
    You: Do you know how to remove blood from tools?
    TengM: Did you kill someone?
    You: Uhm...
    Status: Session ended.

    Zombiemambo on
    JKKaAGp.png
  • FreddyDFreddyD Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    It looks like ChaCha! erodes the soul.

    FreddyD on
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