Rock Climbing, or, How Do I Unterrify Myself

ahava

So. This is not really about rock climbing exactly, but sideways related to it.

my boyfriend loves to rock climb, he and his friends enjoy it and from what I've heard/been told/read it's a great way to help lose weight and build up muscle too. sounds like a great way to spend time with him, and reach some of my goals that I want to reach for myself. With just one problem.

I am terrified of heights.

I dislike standing on chairs for fear of falling. I get into a high situation (ladders, staircases with clear sides or no railings) and my imagination goes into overdrive. I can literally foresee myself tripping, falling, missing a step and slipping, or some other really common place thing and plummeting to injury, death, or worse embarrassment.

I know that for the most part, it's all in my head, but that's the problem, it's all in my head. I know that I can eventually overcome it, this fear of being up high. I had to overcome it a week or so ago when we were out hiking and I realized that I had to get down from the heights to get back to the car. But the adrenaline rush afterwards, the shaking legs, the beating heart, the absolute knowledge that I was more scared than logic dictated I should be...

so, does anybody have any suggestions for conquering this, for working my way through the absolutely ridiculous mental imaginings that happen in my mind?

being high isn't the only thing that this happens with. I used to get these mental images, for lack of a better term, while driving, while sitting in a parking lot by a road, etc. Something bad would happen, and I could see it happening, as though it were inevitable. Most things I can push aside or ignore, but the fear of heights is just something that I don't think is every going to go away.

So any tips on how to live with it and still be able to do the things that I want to do with the people I want to do them with?

Gafoto

Start taking falls. Get used to the sensation of falling. Learn to trust the pro and not get too panicky. Have your boyfriend take you to a climbing gym where it's easy to fall a lot of and play around with climbing in a very controlled setting.

I climbed a relatively steep mountain outside of Salt Lake City a couple of years ago with some class 3 terrain and was very nervous the entire time. I came back to the same mountain a year later after having done a lot more hiking and scrambling and found it not to be intimidating at all. You might try doing some scrambling to get you used to heights while not being very worried about the physical difficulty of the climbing.

Dance Commander

Taking some falls--on top-rope--is a good way to learn to trust the equipment. If it's mainly your boyfriend's thing and you never really get into it, there's no need to learn to do any lead climbing, which is where the falls start getting scary. Falling on top-rope should* involve moving no more than a foot at the very most before the rope gently catches you.

A lot of people with severe acrophobia manage to become world class climbers despite it. They often describe shrinking their focus to a small egg immediately around their body. When climbing usually the problem is getting tunnel-visioned and missing holds and such in your peripheral vision. This sort of thing can actually work to your advantage--you become so focused that you simply forget how high up you are. There are ways to work on cultivating this focus and blocking out the idea of being up high, although I'm not exactly an expert at it myself.

If you're really serious about it, Rock Warrior's Way: Mental Training for Climbers is a pretty well regarded classic text on the subject of dealing with the mental side of climbing. I haven't read it personally, although I plan to, so I can't give much detail.

*Note: if you're taking falls exceeding two or three feet in length before the rope catches you (in other words, if there is more than two or three feet of slack in the system) while on top-rope, that's something your belayer can fix. Tell them you want a tighter belay, really tight. If they can't reduce the distance you're falling to below a foot or two after you ask, then they're not trustworthy.

genia

For the record, I think it's incredibly sweet and brave that you want to try this out despite your fear of heights. I'd like to suggest bouldering as a small first step.

It's a type of rock climbing where you would likely never climb above 15 or so feet, especially at a gym. Within Bouldering, there are lots of "traverse" routes, which will have you going sideways (rather than up) across a wall - maybe 2-5 feet above the ground. Frankly, you can choose or create a route that stays within your comfort zone.

You will still get a lot of health benefit as you learn to go across a wall for a long period of time. Since it's lower heightl, you'll have a spotter rather than a rope + harness, and your bf can help you out with tips and encouragement.

Page-

Can't offer any advice specific to mountain climbing, as I've only done some spelunking, and it didn't require ropes (though I did test out that gear at a dude's house anyway, and it's fun).

However, I've been working on roofs, scaffolding, swing stages (the stuff window washers use on tall buildings), ladders, and whatever else, and used harnesses where I knew I wouldn't fall, and not used harnesses where any sane person would have. I'm frequently in situations where one slip would lead to serious, serious injury and possible death.

I've learned from experience that the fear doesn't ever go away. It's always there. I've just learned to get through it, because I have to. Mentally I can overcome it, but my body still reacts. When I'm at heights, when the scaffolding starts to wobble, my body knows it. Certain setups will tense my legs up to a degree that's painful. At least you get used to handling adrenaline.

Good luck confronting it. Fear of heights is a big one, because you're supposed to be afraid.

But, as the others have said, test all the equipment beforehand. If you're not 100% comfortable with it in situations where you're in no danger, it's going to be way worse when you think you are in danger.

Blake T

There are a big number of people who are scared of heights that rock climb.

And to be honest, as soon as you don't respect the fact that you are in a position to fall without any safety equipment is when you are asking for trouble.

Go on the top rope as some people suggest, it's safe and you realistically can't fall far.

As the guy said you wont fully ever get over your fear, because it is sensible. But you will learn to manage it.

Kyougu

Seconding the bouldering suggestion. It's a great way to get you used to climbing, not only height wise but movement wise as well.

schuss

The more you're up high, the more comfortable you'll be with it. It's ok to be scared, but don't let it control you. Let the fear fuel your drive to succeed and use it as focus. It will take time.

iRevert

I was scared of hights at one point in time, my job required me to work on a catwalk and crawling across rafters which wasn't exactly the best job to have with a fear of hights. I worked a bit slower then others, but I was more cautious and triple checked the work I did so I had a valid excuse.

Then one of my great awesome friends who I hate with all my heart gave me an offer to go skydiving with them which I had always wanted to try and I figured with a tandem jump I'd be fine as I wouldn't have to deal with anything except the fall.

About a half hour after arriving I learned there wouldn't be a tandem jump I'd just have to do it myself, I'd have people near me to deploy the chute if I froze up but after that it would be all me. Not sure why I agreed to it but I did and they literally threw me out of the plane which does wonders for the nerves. However I'm happy to report that when your falling at a high rate of speed watching the ground coming at you I remembered how to scream "fuck me" about eighty five times and how to pull the chute.

Anyhow, slow exposure is KEY if you have a fear of heights or falling. Start simple by watching a POV of a skydiver (that ends well), move onto something like playing Minecraft and standing ontop of a cliff and looking down. Just get yourself accustomed to learning how to do things, then work your way into a indoor climbing wall.

Easiest advice in the word I can give is go to a indoor climbing wall tell the person who is going to be belaying you that you have a fear of falling and you want to fall from a short distance to have the rope catch you. Climb up a short bit and then let go and feel the rope catch you, then work from there.

Once you feel that you have that safety net most people will go halfway up the wall or more which is outside of their comfort zone. Honestly the best advice I have for you is slow exposure and then go out and do it. If your feeling gutsy go to an indoor climbing wall and just go for it.

spool32

Exposure in a safe environment is how you defeat a phobia. Since yours is a fear of heights, start exposing yourself to small heights, just as people said. You don't have to go to a gym though... if you're afraid of standing on a chair, start smaller:

Get a chair and surround it with couch cushions. Sit down in the chair, then fall off. Do that a couple dozen times, until you don't get the "AUGH!" response. Then go stand on your bed and fall backwards a bunch of times. Again, do it until you feel comfortable. It might end up feeling fun, or it might just be no big deal after a while. Stand on the chair, then jump off it a few times. Mess with your mind by touching the ceiling as you jump.

Take the chair outside, stand on it, and grab the edge of your roof. Kick the chair away, hang there, and drop. When you can hang from your roof and drop without feeling panic, then go to the climbing gym and start falling from low heights (like 2-3ft).

ahava

You guys all have some great suggestions. Most of them pretty much boil down to, just push your way on through.

I've done work before with chairs and ladders and once I get there I'm ok, it's the getting there part that's hard for me.

Alright. I'll talk to ecco and see what he says, who knows, maybe I'll report back in a few weeks time and say that I made it to the top of the wall.

or maybe not. Gotta try though. Gotta try.

schuss

lonelyahava wrote: »

You guys all have some great suggestions. Most of them pretty much boil down to, just push your way on through.

I've done work before with chairs and ladders and once I get there I'm ok, it's the getting there part that's hard for me.

Alright. I'll talk to ecco and see what he says, who knows, maybe I'll report back in a few weeks time and say that I made it to the top of the wall.

or maybe not. Gotta try though. Gotta try.

Also, the falling/trust thing is key. Though after a bit, you'll like falling in the gym a little TOO much (we used to have fun when no one was looking taking 15-20 foot freefalls)