Webcomic Done in My Free Time

AlteredConfusionAlteredConfusion Registered User
edited March 2011 in Artist's Corner
Alright, its time to finally step up to the plate and ask for some assistance in trying to improve my level of art. I will be the first to admit that there are some fundamental issues with my comic, but I've never taken an art class in my life, and I find it actually relaxing to do draw so that I can focus on something else for the website I work for. So without further adieu some comics, the rest can be found at alteredconfusion.com/comics

denial.png?__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSION=1299070684409


theimpossible.png?__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSION=1300120858657

HawksMindEp14.png?__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSION=1294498115704

HawksMindEp11.png?__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSION=1294498166008

I'm doing all of these with PaintShop Pro and an Wacom Intuos4 Medium Pen Tablet

AlteredConfusion on

Posts

  • Radar6590Radar6590 Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Well, I mean, this might come off sounding a little harsh, but there are many issues with this comic.

    One would be punchlines. Your humor is very newpaper-ish (which is not my humor, though that's fine) and you're obviously relying on writing more than imagery. There is clearly back story to your comic that we're not seeing here, but that's not the point. The first comic just isn't funny because as a standalone gag, no one gets it. I challenge you to find for me the actual word or sentence that *is* the punchline.

    Breaking it down more than that, it looks like the brown haired character is waiting for the red head to convince him of something, the red head has three minutes, and the best he can come up with is to say the word please many times in a whiny voice. To this, the brown haired character reminds the red haired character that he's already said he's never going to do it in the first place, and still wont. That's it, and I'm onto the next webcomic.

    If you want art critique, I mean, it's hard, because you're not trying to create a realistic picture for your audience. You want simple, and you want stylized. That said, understanding the basics of facial structure, perspective, and color theory will still help you in conveying the message of your comic (for this is your real goal) to the audience. You want to bring them in and the imagery in a comic should be at least as strong if not more strong than the writing in most cases. It's rare that you'll see a Calvin and Hobbes strip that relies only on text. Usually the images support what the comic is saying. All of these artistic principals have many books and tutorials all across the internet and in your local art store. Just pick them up, I'm sure they can explain everything better than I can.

    If nothing else, though, at least work on expressions. Expressions and emotions will get across more information and carry you farther than most other single elements in a webcomic. Tracy Butler (The creator of Lackadaisy) and Dershing Helmer (the creator of The Meek) have both made great expression tutorials which I'll link below.

    Lackadaisy Expressions

    Expression Tutorial

    All that said, it's great that art is relaxing for you. There's nothing wrong with just creating for creation's sake and it's a wonderful quality to have. :)

    Radar6590 on
    My DeviantArt
    Loomdun wrote: »
    ...And I am being hulked enraged by multiple things right now and I will destroy you
  • AlteredConfusionAlteredConfusion Registered User
    edited March 2011
    Just to pole the crowd really quick. What kind of comic do people like

    1. A comic with a punchline every strip
    2. A comic with a long story arch

    I know that everyone has their own ideal comic that they like to read, but what is it about that (those) comic(s) that make you consistently come back every time there's an update?

    Or better yet does the amount of updates dictate the type of comic you're willing to read?

    AlteredConfusion on
  • Radar6590Radar6590 Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    A comic can be both. Look at Player Vs Player, it has a long story arch, and yet Scott Kurtz includes a gag with every strip.

    To answer your poll, I would say "both". Comics only take up a few seconds of minutes of a person's day. I like to read both types of comics (though if I were to make one I'd probably make a story arch one with mildly interjected dry and sarcastic humor >_>)so it just depends on if the comics work in that format or not to me.

    Radar6590 on
    My DeviantArt
    Loomdun wrote: »
    ...And I am being hulked enraged by multiple things right now and I will destroy you
  • JLM-AWPJLM-AWP Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    I'll let the other guys on here handle the art aspects, but I'll be happy to crit the other stuff.

    All of these comics lack context. The first is, as Radar said, just lost on anyone that isn't you. We have no idea what either of these guys are talking about. As readers, it's hard to pull anything out of it.

    In the second comic, we have no point of reference for the situation. Is that a Leprechaun behind the TV? What's up with that? Tell us. Show us. Let us know what the subject is before you go making jokey-jokes out of it. That being said, I do like the pacing of the last 2 sentences: "I only ask because somehow he's behind it." It's very Penny-Arcade. This is a positive thing you should do in more comics.

    The other two have a kind of "Deep Thoughts: by Jack Handey" vibe to them, but lack in anything funny. With this sort of comic, if you are looking to get a laugh from them, I would suggest coming up with a clever twist to the feelings you/the character is having, or just be completely ridiculous with it. Over-the-top works well in these sorts of situations. Take a look at these quotes. As a warning, the are addictive to read, and you'll be laughing. Don't say I didn't warn you. http://thinkexist.com/quotes/jack_handy/

    Also, you have to work on sentence structure and punctuation. I got lost reading very short and simple sentences, which instantly ruins a comic for me. It also helps with timing.

    Take the advice of the people on this forum, and you'll be on the right track for what you want to accomplish. Be open-minded and willing to accept crits and changes!

    JLM-AWP on
  • AlteredConfusionAlteredConfusion Registered User
    edited March 2011
    Yeah, I've finally come to that realization that I need to take some criticism and try to take what I learn and apply to future stuff. As for the random comics, they are absolutely random, and I will admit the first one is an inside this that only those who read the first 200 comics would understand, as for the second comic once again if I had included the previous comic it probably would have made more sense. As this is my first time allowing my work to be posted off of the site, I'm a bit new to the what I should post thing.

    As for the second set of comics those were more deep ass thoughts that randomly came to me and I then just tried to quickly add a bit of imagery.

    I probably should have posted in this forum a long time ago, but at least now I'm willing to listen to what needs to be said. As one wise man once said, its not the supplies that make the artist, and I'm waking up to that realization now.

    AlteredConfusion on
  • JLM-AWPJLM-AWP Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    I think the next step here is to create a few new ones, give it your best, and show us what you got. Using older, out-of-context comics is just tougher to do crits on.

    JLM-AWP on
  • VistiVisti Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    The dialogue is very rigid as well. Try thinking about how people actually talk and also double check everything for grammar errors and typos. And get some sort of exciting font, at the least. The very flat sans serif give me a feeling of complete neutrality and that's not where you want to be when trying to convey speech.

    Visti on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • TheMorningStarTheMorningStar Registered User
    edited March 2011
    I agree with pretty much everything everyone else has said, but I'll add this:

    You've come too early for crits. You need to keeping making comics like your life depends on it. Make them like you're paying bills, make them a responsibility, not something you do in your "free time". If you do this, you'll learn to edit yourself, what works best for your art and writing, and you'll learn about your characters.


    Besides that, I suggest you listen to every episode of Webcomics Weekly. That podcast will teach you so much about making a webcomic, it's ridiculous. It's also great to listen to while drawing.

    So, make a few hundred comics, and then see where you are. And Remember, do it for yourself, because no matter how good you are, most people won't give a shit for a long time.

    edit: Also, if you haven't already, read Scott McCloud's "Understanding Comics". It will defiantly help you understand how to leverage the rules of comics, and use them to your advantage.

    TheMorningStar on
  • melting_dollmelting_doll Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Are you writing these things down before putting them in the strip? Or do you just have an idea of what you want to say and just kind of wing it when the time comes?
    It's just a little too much for me...when I try to think of something to create, and nothing comes...and then all of a sudden I remember that it can be about anything including the fact that I can't think of anything.

    Dropping an elipsis (...) implies that it is supposed to be one continuous thought. More often than not that means one complete sentence.

    Basically you have a very long, run-on sentence happening. You keep inserting Conjunctions (and, but, yet) all over the place, but they aren't needed. It also makes it seem like the second panel's text is just a fragment.
    It's amazing to me how life can at one moment seem so damn simple and then at the very next instance things get so complicated that you can't breath but then that's just the joys of being alive isn't it?

    You spelled "breathe" wrong. Punctuation is good. It ends in a question but you display no indication as to where it starts. Also, you put "that's" with "joys", when it should be "those are the joys of" or "that's the joy of".

    I really hate to sound harsh, but this is 6th grade Grammar we're talking about here, and if you're serious about creating a comic of any type, you'll review some of the basics. Definitely be sure to write EVERYTHING down first, including what you want the panels to look like. That way you can edit and plan before trying to throw down lazy-looking sketches with no background and poor grammar. Thumbnails are your best friend!

    And please don't take my words harshly, I'm just trying to make my point as clear as possible.

    melting_doll on
  • bwaniebwanie Posting into the void Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    yeah i can't believe you'd feel accomplished with these comics and are left with no resolve how to improve them yourself.

    you really don't need us to tell you that they are, basicallly, shit.

    bwanie on
    Yh6tI4T.jpg
Sign In or Register to comment.