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Girl very sick, family freaking out
juggerbot
NebraskaRegistered User regular
NebraskaRegistered User regular
This girl I grew up with recently got strep-2, which gave her ARDS. To those who don't have a Pre-med degree, she has a blood infection which gave her very bad pneumonia and caused her lungs to cease functioning. She was taken to a local hospital on Friday, and then was taken by helicopter the same day to a university hospital, and has been in critical condition ever since.
Doctors say she'll be down for weeks at best, and her family, especially her parents, is rather concerned. So tell me:
1. How concerned is too concerned?
2. When should people start continuing their daily lives?
3. Are there any "phases" we should expect from them?
4. How involved should other people get?
Doctors say she'll be down for weeks at best, and her family, especially her parents, is rather concerned. So tell me:
1. How concerned is too concerned?
2. When should people start continuing their daily lives?
3. Are there any "phases" we should expect from them?
4. How involved should other people get?
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2. When no one has the feeling that the caring they give has any use
3. Anxious waiting, maybe snapping out on someone, watch more ER.
4. If you really care about her, show that you care, but know your place in "line". Family and lovers will usually be more important than just a friend.
In retrospect, this is all rather arbitrary.
Obviously your level of concern is up to you, a good rule of thumb is put as much attention into as you want as long as it doesn't cause you to neglet your own life. I'm a firm believer in meditation and goodwill, where 'sending out the good vibes' can be a remarkably positive thing for someone.
2. Depends how much of a daily part of your life that person had. If you're just a bystander, then fairly soon. If you spend two hours or so a day together, each day, every day, then you would probably include seeing her and supporting her throughout the entire thing. A good rule of thumb is to spend, on average, the amount of time you would have if she was well.
3. Phases? Yes, there will be many phases, all different depending on what kind of people they are. They may appreciate your concern, or they may be totally offended by it. Just be sensitive to any clues they give to you as to what is and is not appropriate right now.
4. Again, as involved as you were in normal life. Put in the same effort, and give the same energy, plus maybe just a bit more. If you never actually speak to this person normally, it would be weird to start hanging out for hours in the hospital. If you spent every day together, you would be an ass for handing in a coffee-stained Get Well card with someone elses name on it.
I mean her family has jobs, her friends have school, and I'm sure she wouldn't want them to completely neglect them while she's comatose. And they're jobs that you can't exactly just leave for several weeks and everything's fine.
But we were also very close. She's like a sister to me. I went up to visit her this weekend to she just how bad it was, much worse than I was expecting, but she won't be awake for some time now. The staff is really cracking down on visitors, because she's had so damn many, so I doubt they would even let me in. Is it wrong of me to stay away now until she regains consiousness, or would it be considered heartless bastard material?
Just drop by when it's more convenient and support everyone else to do the same.