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I had one roommate who was a decent guy and a friend who was a pretty cool girl, until they started dating each other. At the end of sophomore year we had to clean our room out as usual and move our shit to a storage facility. Problem was, our classes go until 6 the previous day and we had to be packed-up and out of the room by 10am. Our bathroom (us being guys) was a teensy bit of a bio-hazard and the floor was filthy with charcoal, pastel, chalk, crumbs, sawdust, clay, paper shavings and other artist-type things. Luckily we had a rug that caught most of it.
Now between the two of us we could have cleaned the place, had time for a good sleep and a few goodbyes. Problem was, he decided to spend the night at his girlfriend's apartment. And turned off his phone. After telling me he just needed an hour or so.
Well I ended up staying up all night bleaching and scrubbing and packing shit away, not getting a moment to sleep and getting brain-damaged by bleach fumes. I threw out tons of stuff to get rid of it and all the while I can't reach the roommate.
So 9am rolls around, I'm hellishly-pissed. I didn't have a cell-phone at the time and at 10 I knew I had to get all the shit out of the room, including the wall phone. Eventually, with the help of the kid in the door next to ours (who subsequently became the token gay roomate of the next apartment I lived in) the place was cleaned and spotless with only a stool against the wall and the phone sitting there.
Well my roomie finally showed up at the last second and we loaded the shit into his car. I told him he was off the hook but I was very seriously close to decking him. I just needed his cooperation (and car) to get the shit out of the dorm and to the storage facility. Then I jumped in my other friend's car and got dropped at the airport.
The next year at the apartment I was living with the same guy plus the gay kid from next door and the friend who drove me to the airport. There are even worse stories from that one involving roaches, kitchen fights and the roommate's girlfriend turning into Jabba the Hut (and the aforementioned roommate was her Leia, chained and whipped). But that's not a story for now, as I have other shit to do and that story REALLY pisses me off.
I used to live with the biggest slob I've ever met. Dude would eat in bed, right, stuff like vienna sausages, kippered snacks and crackers. Motherfucker would eat this crap, finish it off, leave all the garbage in bed with him, and go to sleep in it. If that wasn't gross enough, we kept opposite hours, you know, so I'd be asleep while he was eating crackers and my bed was below his, so I'd wake up with crumbs all over me. Fucking gross.
"*morning grunt*...muh...huh?....Scott, what the fuck, over!"
"uh...what?"
"Fucking Ritz crackers in my bed, that's what! Quit living like a hobo goddamnit! FUCK."
It's going to be so cute when you and Deni live together.
He's going to come out in a dress to shame the costume designer of Priscilla Queen of the Desert and you're just gonna be all "Whiskey Tango Foxtrot..."
My beard is going to jump off my face and move to Vegas.
"I ain't livin' with no fairies!"
(also I'm assuming you meant Whippy, not Deni)
I did mean Whippy! I hope he still loves me now.
Yeah, you have to surrender your beard and any tattoos you received while in the military before you can move in with him.
Nice name there Cal.
Yeah, isn't it awesome?
I feel like I'm finally getting the respect I deserve, y'know?
Callius on
0
Shortytouching the meatIntergalactic Cool CourtRegistered Userregular
I used to live with the biggest slob I've ever met. Dude would eat in bed, right, stuff like vienna sausages, kippered snacks and crackers. Motherfucker would eat this crap, finish it off, leave all the garbage in bed with him, and go to sleep in it. If that wasn't gross enough, we kept opposite hours, you know, so I'd be asleep while he was eating crackers and my bed was below his, so I'd wake up with crumbs all over me. Fucking gross.
"*morning grunt*...muh...huh?....Scott, what the fuck, over!"
"uh...what?"
"Fucking Ritz crackers in my bed, that's what! Quit living like a hobo goddamnit! FUCK."
It's going to be so cute when you and Deni live together.
He's going to come out in a dress to shame the costume designer of Priscilla Queen of the Desert and you're just gonna be all "Whiskey Tango Foxtrot..."
My beard is going to jump off my face and move to Vegas.
"I ain't livin' with no fairies!"
(also I'm assuming you meant Whippy, not Deni)
I did mean Whippy! I hope he still loves me now.
Yeah, you have to surrender your beard and any tattoos you received while in the military before you can move in with him.
Surprisingly, I have no tattoos from the military. I will get at least one someday, though.
My dad told me I should have gotten an anchor on my forearm like sailors always have in cartoons. He thought that was the funniest shit. Laughed for like ten minutes.
I currently have one roommate that I can't stand, but I don't think I could do the story justice without pictures. I'll just say that he is a 32 year old who has never kissed a girl, he lives with a two 21 year olds and a 20 year old, and he is a pathetic excuse for a human being.
Sounds like the prolific new species I keep hearing about: Giganticus Lardassicus. Hopefully, the Zombie Apocalypse will thin them out.
Darth Waiter on
0
Shortytouching the meatIntergalactic Cool CourtRegistered Userregular
edited February 2007
Who was it who told the story about him/his roommates getting ridiculously fucked up on pills and filming the entire thing?
Man one roommate shits his pants, can't use a toilet yet, barely speaks coherent English, and cries at the drop of a hat.
Thank god I only have to deal with him for another 16 years.
he still shits his pants at two years old?
hunter. cmon
Let me tell you a secret...
Some kids aren't even potty trained by 3.
I for one stopped changing diapers about 2 months ago. I've had him sit on the toilet for 20 minutes until he dropped a turd. He's learning at 2 so by 2 1/2 I don't have to spend money on those expensive fucking diapers anymore. Also, after he goes I'll let him run around naked for a bit and kids dig that. It's funny watching a little naked guy run around the house screaming. It must be like living with Deni.
I was really nervous the first day moving into the dorms because my roommate was there putting stuff on the wall and one of things was a cross and she was like "hey we can go to church together on Sunday!"
But she ended up being really cool.
Jordyn on
JordynNolz.com <- All my blogs (Shepard, Wasted, J'onn, DCAU) are here now!
I currently have one roommate that I can't stand, but I don't think I could do the story justice without pictures. I'll just say that he is a 32 year old who has never kissed a girl, he lives with a two 21 year olds and a 20 year old, and he is a pathetic excuse for a human being.
my friends got a roommate like that
he heard i was kind of geeky and spent a whole party trying to talk to me about star trek and d&d
I currently have one roommate that I can't stand, but I don't think I could do the story justice without pictures. I'll just say that he is a 32 year old who has never kissed a girl, he lives with a two 21 year olds and a 20 year old, and he is a pathetic excuse for a human being.
Sounds like the prolific new species I keep hearing about: Giganticus Lardassicus. Hopefully, the Zombie Apocalypse will thin them out.
Actually, the best description we have ever come up with to describe both his looks as well as his mannerisms is "the first zombie you see in the first resident evil"
I was really nervous the first day moving into the dorms because my roommate was there putting stuff on the wall and one of things was a cross and she was like "hey we can go to church together on Sunday!"
But she ended up being really cool.
Churchies that aren't judgmental can be very nice.
Mattie on
3DS Code 0001-3323-2884
Xbox Live Gamertag: Suplex86
0
Shortytouching the meatIntergalactic Cool CourtRegistered Userregular
I was in a triple my freshmen year. One roommate listened to, sang, and played Good Charlotte on guitar as loud as possible. At midnight.
The other we busted jerking off on our computers to some horrible fetish shit. When confronted about it he became a dick and started shutting off my alarm clock before it would go off, so I would miss my classes. It soon became a double.
Man one roommate shits his pants, can't use a toilet yet, barely speaks coherent English, and cries at the drop of a hat.
Thank god I only have to deal with him for another 16 years.
he still shits his pants at two years old?
hunter. cmon
Let me tell you a secret...
Some kids aren't even potty trained by 3.
I for one stopped changing diapers about 2 months ago. I've had him sit on the toilet for 20 minutes until he dropped a turd. He's learning at 2 so by 2 1/2 I don't have to spend money on those expensive fucking diapers anymore. Also, after he goes I'll let him run around naked for a bit and kids dig that. It's funny watching a little naked guy run around the house screaming. It must be like living with Deni.
My...I think he's my second cousin? He has two kids and one is almost 5 and the other is 3 and the older one has only been potty trained for a few months and the younger one isn't potty trained at all.
Jordyn on
JordynNolz.com <- All my blogs (Shepard, Wasted, J'onn, DCAU) are here now!
Man one roommate shits his pants, can't use a toilet yet, barely speaks coherent English, and cries at the drop of a hat.
Thank god I only have to deal with him for another 16 years.
he still shits his pants at two years old?
hunter. cmon
Let me tell you a secret...
Some kids aren't even potty trained by 3.
I for one stopped changing diapers about 2 months ago. I've had him sit on the toilet for 20 minutes until he dropped a turd. He's learning at 2 so by 2 1/2 I don't have to spend money on those expensive fucking diapers anymore. Also, after he goes I'll let him run around naked for a bit and kids dig that. It's funny watching a little naked guy run around the house screaming. It must be like living with Deni.
My...I think he's my second cousin? He has two kids and one is almost 5 and the other is 3 and the older one has only been potty trained for a few months and the younger one isn't potty trained at all.
My sister let my niece go until 4 plus. It was horrible. I don't blame the kid, she didn't know any better. My lazy fucking sister on the other hand should have the kids taken away from her for health and safety reasons.
Actually, the best description we have ever come up with to describe both his looks as well as his mannerisms is "the first zombie you see in the first resident evil"
I used to live with the biggest slob I've ever met. Dude would eat in bed, right, stuff like vienna sausages, kippered snacks and crackers. Motherfucker would eat this crap, finish it off, leave all the garbage in bed with him, and go to sleep in it. If that wasn't gross enough, we kept opposite hours, you know, so I'd be asleep while he was eating crackers and my bed was below his, so I'd wake up with crumbs all over me. Fucking gross.
"*morning grunt*...muh...huh?....Scott, what the fuck, over!"
"uh...what?"
"Fucking Ritz crackers in my bed, that's what! Quit living like a hobo goddamnit! FUCK."
It's going to be so cute when you and Deni live together.
He's going to come out in a dress to shame the costume designer of Priscilla Queen of the Desert and you're just gonna be all "Whiskey Tango Foxtrot..."
My beard is going to jump off my face and move to Vegas.
"I ain't livin' with no fairies!"
(also I'm assuming you meant Whippy, not Deni)
I did mean Whippy! I hope he still loves me now.
Yeah, you have to surrender your beard and any tattoos you received while in the military before you can move in with him.
Surprisingly, I have no tattoos from the military. I will get at least one someday, though.
My dad told me I should have gotten an anchor on my forearm like sailors always have in cartoons. He thought that was the funniest shit. Laughed for like ten minutes.
OH SHIT! That would have fucking ruled dude, you should have done that!
Callius on
0
HunterChemist with a heart of AuRegistered Userregular
I used to live with the biggest slob I've ever met. Dude would eat in bed, right, stuff like vienna sausages, kippered snacks and crackers. Motherfucker would eat this crap, finish it off, leave all the garbage in bed with him, and go to sleep in it. If that wasn't gross enough, we kept opposite hours, you know, so I'd be asleep while he was eating crackers and my bed was below his, so I'd wake up with crumbs all over me. Fucking gross.
"*morning grunt*...muh...huh?....Scott, what the fuck, over!"
"uh...what?"
"Fucking Ritz crackers in my bed, that's what! Quit living like a hobo goddamnit! FUCK."
It's going to be so cute when you and Deni live together.
He's going to come out in a dress to shame the costume designer of Priscilla Queen of the Desert and you're just gonna be all "Whiskey Tango Foxtrot..."
My beard is going to jump off my face and move to Vegas.
"I ain't livin' with no fairies!"
(also I'm assuming you meant Whippy, not Deni)
I did mean Whippy! I hope he still loves me now.
Yeah, you have to surrender your beard and any tattoos you received while in the military before you can move in with him.
Surprisingly, I have no tattoos from the military. I will get at least one someday, though.
My dad told me I should have gotten an anchor on my forearm like sailors always have in cartoons. He thought that was the funniest shit. Laughed for like ten minutes.
OH SHIT! That would have fucking ruled dude, you should have done that!
He could then smoke a corn cob pipe, fuck anorexic women, beat up hulking dudes with beards, and hang around with the jeep while eating spinach.
I used to live with the biggest slob I've ever met. Dude would eat in bed, right, stuff like vienna sausages, kippered snacks and crackers. Motherfucker would eat this crap, finish it off, leave all the garbage in bed with him, and go to sleep in it. If that wasn't gross enough, we kept opposite hours, you know, so I'd be asleep while he was eating crackers and my bed was below his, so I'd wake up with crumbs all over me. Fucking gross.
"*morning grunt*...muh...huh?....Scott, what the fuck, over!"
"uh...what?"
"Fucking Ritz crackers in my bed, that's what! Quit living like a hobo goddamnit! FUCK."
It's going to be so cute when you and Deni live together.
He's going to come out in a dress to shame the costume designer of Priscilla Queen of the Desert and you're just gonna be all "Whiskey Tango Foxtrot..."
My beard is going to jump off my face and move to Vegas.
"I ain't livin' with no fairies!"
(also I'm assuming you meant Whippy, not Deni)
I did mean Whippy! I hope he still loves me now.
Yeah, you have to surrender your beard and any tattoos you received while in the military before you can move in with him.
Surprisingly, I have no tattoos from the military. I will get at least one someday, though.
My dad told me I should have gotten an anchor on my forearm like sailors always have in cartoons. He thought that was the funniest shit. Laughed for like ten minutes.
OH SHIT! That would have fucking ruled dude, you should have done that!
No, screw that. I'm going to get a Giger-inspired biomech halfsleeve on my left arm and it is going to fucking rule.
I used to live with the biggest slob I've ever met. Dude would eat in bed, right, stuff like vienna sausages, kippered snacks and crackers. Motherfucker would eat this crap, finish it off, leave all the garbage in bed with him, and go to sleep in it. If that wasn't gross enough, we kept opposite hours, you know, so I'd be asleep while he was eating crackers and my bed was below his, so I'd wake up with crumbs all over me. Fucking gross.
"*morning grunt*...muh...huh?....Scott, what the fuck, over!"
"uh...what?"
"Fucking Ritz crackers in my bed, that's what! Quit living like a hobo goddamnit! FUCK."
It's going to be so cute when you and Deni live together.
He's going to come out in a dress to shame the costume designer of Priscilla Queen of the Desert and you're just gonna be all "Whiskey Tango Foxtrot..."
My beard is going to jump off my face and move to Vegas.
"I ain't livin' with no fairies!"
(also I'm assuming you meant Whippy, not Deni)
I did mean Whippy! I hope he still loves me now.
Yeah, you have to surrender your beard and any tattoos you received while in the military before you can move in with him.
Surprisingly, I have no tattoos from the military. I will get at least one someday, though.
My dad told me I should have gotten an anchor on my forearm like sailors always have in cartoons. He thought that was the funniest shit. Laughed for like ten minutes.
OH SHIT! That would have fucking ruled dude, you should have done that!
No, screw that. I'm going to get a Giger-inspired biomech halfsleeve on my left arm and it is going to fucking rule.
my roommate is cool
one time he got in at like 2:30AM and was all
"dude i was just getting head and i was standing and when i came, my knees gave out and I knocked her on the ground. And then I came on her. I couldn't stop! it was amazing."
Jordyn, you should tell Framling to go to www.dice.com. It's got a whole rack of IT related jobs. I'm sure he is already aware... but, y'know, just doing what I can.
Jordyn, you should tell Framling to go to www.dice.com. It's got a whole rack of IT related jobs. I'm sure he is already aware... but, y'know, just doing what I can.
Cal last night Khoo was on the boards and I was like Khoo baby, Fram lost his job and he was like "oh man tell him to send me his resume" and he's helping Fram maybe meet some guys who can get him programming jobs in gaming and stuff and oh man Khoo is just the best.
Jordyn on
JordynNolz.com <- All my blogs (Shepard, Wasted, J'onn, DCAU) are here now!
You know, I saw a poster advertising how if you join the National Guard, you'd never have to eat ramen because they actually serve you real food. It reminded me of that story that someone told about their grandfather where their grandfather was in the military and the server at the mess hall accidently got mashed potatoes on his pie and he beat the shit out of him for it. Upon thinking about that, that was a really dick thing to do.
Posts
Now between the two of us we could have cleaned the place, had time for a good sleep and a few goodbyes. Problem was, he decided to spend the night at his girlfriend's apartment. And turned off his phone. After telling me he just needed an hour or so.
Well I ended up staying up all night bleaching and scrubbing and packing shit away, not getting a moment to sleep and getting brain-damaged by bleach fumes. I threw out tons of stuff to get rid of it and all the while I can't reach the roommate.
So 9am rolls around, I'm hellishly-pissed. I didn't have a cell-phone at the time and at 10 I knew I had to get all the shit out of the room, including the wall phone. Eventually, with the help of the kid in the door next to ours (who subsequently became the token gay roomate of the next apartment I lived in) the place was cleaned and spotless with only a stool against the wall and the phone sitting there.
Well my roomie finally showed up at the last second and we loaded the shit into his car. I told him he was off the hook but I was very seriously close to decking him. I just needed his cooperation (and car) to get the shit out of the dorm and to the storage facility. Then I jumped in my other friend's car and got dropped at the airport.
The next year at the apartment I was living with the same guy plus the gay kid from next door and the friend who drove me to the airport. There are even worse stories from that one involving roaches, kitchen fights and the roommate's girlfriend turning into Jabba the Hut (and the aforementioned roommate was her Leia, chained and whipped). But that's not a story for now, as I have other shit to do and that story REALLY pisses me off.
Yeah, isn't it awesome?
I feel like I'm finally getting the respect I deserve, y'know?
Surprisingly, I have no tattoos from the military. I will get at least one someday, though.
My dad told me I should have gotten an anchor on my forearm like sailors always have in cartoons. He thought that was the funniest shit. Laughed for like ten minutes.
Sounds like the prolific new species I keep hearing about: Giganticus Lardassicus. Hopefully, the Zombie Apocalypse will thin them out.
?
Shorty has a beard?
Let me tell you a secret...
Some kids aren't even potty trained by 3.
I for one stopped changing diapers about 2 months ago. I've had him sit on the toilet for 20 minutes until he dropped a turd. He's learning at 2 so by 2 1/2 I don't have to spend money on those expensive fucking diapers anymore. Also, after he goes I'll let him run around naked for a bit and kids dig that. It's funny watching a little naked guy run around the house screaming. It must be like living with Deni.
Secret Satan 2013 Wishlist
But she ended up being really cool.
JordynNolz.com <- All my blogs (Shepard, Wasted, J'onn, DCAU) are here now!
my friends got a roommate like that
he heard i was kind of geeky and spent a whole party trying to talk to me about star trek and d&d
i don't know shit about either of those things
Actually, the best description we have ever come up with to describe both his looks as well as his mannerisms is "the first zombie you see in the first resident evil"
muh.
Churchies that aren't judgmental can be very nice.
Xbox Live Gamertag: Suplex86
Yeah dude. I grew it after PAX. It's like a goatee except without the upper lip portion.
The other we busted jerking off on our computers to some horrible fetish shit. When confronted about it he became a dick and started shutting off my alarm clock before it would go off, so I would miss my classes. It soon became a double.
edited for horrible spelling
My...I think he's my second cousin? He has two kids and one is almost 5 and the other is 3 and the older one has only been potty trained for a few months and the younger one isn't potty trained at all.
JordynNolz.com <- All my blogs (Shepard, Wasted, J'onn, DCAU) are here now!
it also had a beard
My sister let my niece go until 4 plus. It was horrible. I don't blame the kid, she didn't know any better. My lazy fucking sister on the other hand should have the kids taken away from her for health and safety reasons.
Secret Satan 2013 Wishlist
Yes, I did! I saw it and thought, "Yep, that's Monkeybomb alright."
That's fucking disturbing.
OH SHIT! That would have fucking ruled dude, you should have done that!
He could then smoke a corn cob pipe, fuck anorexic women, beat up hulking dudes with beards, and hang around with the jeep while eating spinach.
Secret Satan 2013 Wishlist
No, screw that. I'm going to get a Giger-inspired biomech halfsleeve on my left arm and it is going to fucking rule.
"I'm writing a Dee-Bee-Zee fanfic."
And I said "oh" but in my head I went
It was your responsibility to euthanize him right then and there.
Secret Satan 2013 Wishlist
..... man, how the might have fallen.
I bet you don't even wear bell bottoms anymore.
That should be done to all DBZ fans not just the ones who write fanfic.
Xbox Live Gamertag: Suplex86
Smooth sailing
JUST TRU IT!
I \M LEVL 99000THOUSAND!~ AND YU DONT NO!
ILL DRIEV MY BROTHR'Z CIVIC 2 UR HOUES N REPE U!
and then we'd screw
diabetes and Talon?
anticoagulants
JordynNolz.com <- All my blogs (Shepard, Wasted, J'onn, DCAU) are here now!
antidiabetescoagulationors
one time he got in at like 2:30AM and was all
"dude i was just getting head and i was standing and when i came, my knees gave out and I knocked her on the ground. And then I came on her. I couldn't stop! it was amazing."
Cal last night Khoo was on the boards and I was like Khoo baby, Fram lost his job and he was like "oh man tell him to send me his resume" and he's helping Fram maybe meet some guys who can get him programming jobs in gaming and stuff and oh man Khoo is just the best.
JordynNolz.com <- All my blogs (Shepard, Wasted, J'onn, DCAU) are here now!