short term relationship?

Lateralist

OK, so there's this girl I like... she's devastatingly beautiful, nerdy, smart, all the stuff I look for in a lady. And she gave me her phone number when I asked, so she seems to think I'm all right too. I'm planning on asking her out this saturday.

Only problem is, in about a month and a half, I'm moving for college... a long way away. Certainly far enough that it negates any further interaction between us. I've been planning to move for a while now, and she knows this.

So here's what I'm asking: am I totally deluded to think we can get something going on a short term basis? Is this something people do? Or am I completely callous to think so? I've got virtually nil experience with chicks and relationships, but I'm proud to say I've worked myself up through sheer force of will to the point where self-confidence is no longer a problem for me.

I like her quite a bit, and yeah, obviously I'd like to, y'know, score with her. But I also don't want to mess her around and potentially break her heart, which is a possibility I guess.

So yeah... is this a thing that's Done in the field of male and female interation? Or will it depend entirely on her own disposition towards such a situation?

For that matter, how do I go about saying "How would you feel about dating and having some sex for a month and a half, and then possibly never seeing each other again?" Is this totally a dick move, or doable?

QuarterMaster

I wouldn't try scoring anything until she understands, and is cool with, the fact that you won't be around in another month. Otherwise I would recommend staying away from a relationship.

Thanatos

Lateralist wrote:

For that matter, how do I go about saying "How would you feel about dating and having some sex for a month and a half, and then possibly never seeing each other again?" Is this totally a dick move, or doable?

As long as you make it clear to her in the beginning that you're breaking up as soon as you go to college, there's nothing wrong with it.

In fact, I'd bet the time limit would make the sex both frequent and passionate.

Lateralist

Thanatos wrote:

In fact, I'd bet the time limit would make the sex both frequent and passionate.

Yeah I was kinda hoping that myself.

The other thing I didn't mention is that she recently broke up with the boyfriend she was seeing when I first met her... will this work for me or is it going to make the situation more volatile?

Smasher

Lateralist wrote:

Thanatos wrote:

In fact, I'd bet the time limit would make the sex both frequent and passionate.

Yeah I was kinda hoping that myself.

The other thing I didn't mention is that she recently broke up with the boyfriend she was seeing when I first met her... will this work for me or is it going to make the situation more volatile?

There's nothing wrong with a short term relationship if it's understood by both people that it'll be that way. There's a good chance you'll be a rebound for her, but in this situation that doesn't seem like that'll be a problem. I say go for it.

st0ned messiah

Do it.

I thought I was in this exact same situation. Turns out the chick was insanely awesome enough that I could deal with the distance issue (used to be 6 hours, now is 4 hours). I still haven't met anyone as cool as she is.

I had a month and a half before I left for college as well. Oh, and I broke up with my girlfriend (of ~1 year) at the time to pursue her. Lots of similarities here.

At the very least go for it now. In regards to saying it, I would just ask her out and mention that you'll be going to *whatever city* in a month and a half but you really wanted to get to know her before you had to leave.

Etch

It depends really, are you able to deal with a short term thing?

Myself, I wouldn't do it because I can't have a short term fling, I suppose I fall in love too quickly and it would break my heart to have to say. Although my girlfriend lives a couple hours away and I only get to see her.

I guess though it just depends on what you guys are willing to do, if you're both ok, then go for it. Just keep in mind that you might develop much stronger feelings before you realize it.

Thanatos

Lateralist wrote:

Thanatos wrote:

In fact, I'd bet the time limit would make the sex both frequent and passionate.

Yeah I was kinda hoping that myself.

The other thing I didn't mention is that she recently broke up with the boyfriend she was seeing when I first met her... will this work for me or is it going to make the situation more volatile?

It depends upon the girl, but, in general, I'd say it would probably work in your favor. A month and a half is a good rebound relationship length, and she gets to get over her ex with you.

It'll depend upon her, but there's definitely nothing wrong with asking.