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At ease soldier (sexytime issue)
ImDrawingABlank
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
22 year old guy here. It's been a few years since I put an effort into dating, for various reasons. But a few weeks ago I met someone, and things have been progressing well! HOWEVER. we ended up in bed a couple nights ago, and I guess I suffered from a little performance anxiety because my wee man relaxed the moment the condom came out of the package. I appologized, she was ok with it and we found other ways to enjoy ourselves. But when the same thing almost happened again later that night, I started to worry 
I made it work, but for all her loving patience It's pretty embarassing and I need tips on how fix this! How can I keep myself calm enough to have my private stand at attention?!
I made it work, but for all her loving patience It's pretty embarassing and I need tips on how fix this! How can I keep myself calm enough to have my private stand at attention?! 
ImDrawingABlank on
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Either way, it's pretty much all in your head.
One. Single. Drink.
Take the edge off. Again, this is a last ditch suggestion if it doesn't work itself out.
I assume this isn't a 24/7 issue, right? You're still standing at attention in non-partnered situations, right?
Satans..... hints.....
This has nothing to do with it. Avoid the "death grip", but masturbation doesn't cause performance anxiety.
This exact same thing happened to me the first time I ever had sex. I excused myself to the bathroom and gave my wang a pep talk. It actually worked. I pretty much just said LOOK HERE DICK there is some banging lady parts out there and you need to get your shit together and make this work for us or so help me I will jerk you raw. After a minute or two of this and some manual stimulation I went back in there at attention ready for work.
Your mileage may vary.
Aside from being a good reassurance, I now need to find a way to work this into a conversation, sometime and somehow.
The worst thing that can happen is you'll get yourself into a cycle where you worry, fail to get hard, then next time worry even more because of the embarrassment of the previous time. This is further complicated because many women will take it as an insult.
The solution is to learn to relax. Your body is able, but your brain is getting in the way. Personally I think foreplay goes a long way. For instance, I find performing way easier after kissing awhile instead of trying to just go in cold.
In the worst case scenario, you can ask your doctor for a sample of Cialis or Viagra, which will give you something you can use to break the cycle.
Relax and have a good time. If it takes an extra ten minutes, so what? If you're not ready, step back a bit.
People always forget that we have so many variations of sex not focused on intercourse. Having trouble staying hard? fall back to foreplay. Outercourse. Oral. Manual...whatever!
I know that even in the most hot 'n heavy romps I've had, sometimes I need to take a moment to ready myself for intercourse. Maybe I just spent 15 minutes downstairs to amazing effect, but that left me a little less stimulated, and I need to get myself back to that groove.
Indeed, the alternative is to have her put it on, in which case you can continue your current thoughts, rather than being distracted by OMG stupid package, is it the right direction? Did I get all the air out of the tip?...So on and so forth. Of course make sure she knows what she's doing.
Also, if you haven't already, rehearse, make sure you're comfortable doing it alone, then when the actual moment comes you'll already have the sequence mastered.
You think us guys would be masters of multi-tasking by now, what with the practice required to keep your concentration while dealing with those goddamn condoms.
alot of dudes do not feel the process or feel of putting on a condom to be very arousing - in fact, quite the opposite feeling.
This. So, try having HER put it on you. Ups the sexy of an otherwise tedious necessity.
If you're turtling at the sight of a condom that's one thing, but try not to worry if you soften up a little bit while you you get the thing on. That sort of thing is often easily remedied with further stimulation, and as long as you stayed hard enough to get it on properly you're probably fine.
SUCCESS.
Good times were had by all! The condom issue is still frustrating, there is so little feeling while wearing it that it can be a little difficult at times. Anyone have any suggestions on good brands? I'm using those Thintensity ones right now and they pretty much suck! It's awesome for her because I can go strong for 20+ minutes average, but there's not much feeling at all for me
EDIT: Holy hell almost 1,500 views. Either this is a really common issue and people are secretly soaking up the advice, or plenty are secretly mocking!
I'll probably never use anything but durex again. Their extra sensitivity ones are decent.
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Side-line anecdotal warning: I started taking Herbalife to lose some weight... no more erections. Halfsies, at best, no matter what we did. Stopped taking that shit and it was another month before things were working mostly right... and another 3 before I really got over the fear worry about it. Yes, anecdote != data, but... do you want to risk it?
I hear you.
I hate condoms, mostly because they tend to dull things. It can make minor sensitivity issues become huge problems.
One of many pieces of advice: When you masturbate, try swapping to your non-dominant hand for awhile. Too tight a grip on your bits can cause, over time, a desensitization. This may or may not be contributing, but loosening up your grip can increase sensitivity. You're, essentially, retraining your penis to enjoy a less-directly-stimulating ride.
Unnatural burning sensations and your junk should never really have been something researchers at condom companies thought was a good idea.
As for random, nonsensical attacks of the floppy dick, don't worry about it. It has happened to the best of us. Even professional porn stars occasionally have to postpone a shoot for an hour or so...