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[Internet Dating] 'It built character.' - But only after you get them dates!!
Malkor
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Internet Dating
Where you can find real life
Now that the old thread has reached one hundred pages, here is a new thread so we can share more hilarious and heartwarming tales of dating on the internet.
Our friendly and helpful forum-goers have put together a lot of advice since these threads began, I've copy-pasted most of it from Richy's old OP.
Also, remember if you want more specific advice to post your profile link in the thread. Four or five people will usually jump right on and begin tearing it to shreds (in a good way) so you can be more successful.
Where you can find real life
Now that the old thread has reached one hundred pages, here is a new thread so we can share more hilarious and heartwarming tales of dating on the internet.
Our friendly and helpful forum-goers have put together a lot of advice since these threads began, I've copy-pasted most of it from Richy's old OP.
Your Profile
Wherein we discuss dating profile advice.OkCupid wrote:Every Section
STOP being "honest" via self deprecation in your profiles
STOP apologizing to the reader of your profile
STOP making excuses to the reader of your profile
STOP following confident statements with insecure "lol" or "haha" or "i guess"
STOP insulting your own life path in your profile
STOP calling yourself nerdy or geeky or dorky or funny or witty or handsome or sarcastic or any-fucking-thing. Leave out any sentences that say, "I am [adjective]" unless you are prepared to put up or shut up.
YOU ARE TRYING TO WOO A MATE. THIS IS NOT AN HONEST AUTOBIOGRAPHY. YOU'RE SELLING YOURSELF
My Self Summary
- Be Specific
- Show, don't tell. Use stories to show that you are interesting
- Don't talk about vague shit like "I like to travel" and "I read books for fun" and "I have maintained possession of both my eyes since birth."
What I'm Doing With My Life
- Don't beat around the bush. Just fucking tell me what you do for money or what you are studying in school. It's going to be a first question on a date and gives a potential suitor something to ask you about.
- Put interesting things in here. Hobbies. Not JUST work-things. Show me why you are awesome to hang out with.
I'm Really Good At
- You are not good at making people laugh or being funny or whatever. Find SKILLS that you have that you are good at. I can cut a deck of cards one-handed. I can drive stick shift. Something interesting that you can do that is awesome.
First Things People Notice
- It's not your smile or your eyes or your sense of humor or whatever.
- Think about something that people would notice across a bar if you were hanging out with your friends in a loud, crowded place.
Favorites
- List YOUR FAVORITES. Not every book, movie, television show, and food you've ever read, seen, watched, or eaten.
- Pick 10-12 things MAXIMUM
- If you must use key words, only key word two or three things in each section. The favorites of your favorites.
- For books, list titles, not authors. Some authors write a wide range of books. Some authors are associated with being a prick or a poser. Book Titles tell a lot more about who you are as a person.
Six Things
- Don't list bullshit like oxygen, air, water, food, friends and family. It's boring and meaningless.
- Don't list your computer, the internet, these forums, or something else pathetic.
- Do list things relating to stuff you love or mention elsewhere in the profile. Feel free to be silly here, but don't list six random things that have no connection or theme.
I Spend a lot of time thinking about
- Don't suddenly get all deep and existential when there's nothing else like that in your profile.
- Don't say "Taking over the world" because that's bullshit.
- Feel free to be funny or silly here, too, but don't make it cliche.
Typical Friday
- Don't say "there is no typical Friday"
- Don't say "taking over the world"
- Don't say "out with friends or in reading a book" like every other person ever
- This is a bullshit question, but be specific. If you are out with friends, what are you doing? Do you go dancing? Go to bars for trivia night? Watch movies and eat popcorn?
The Most Privet Thing
- ANSWER THE GODDAMN QUESTION
Message me if
- Don't say "if you want to" or any other variation of that. BE SPECIFIC.PlentyOfFish wrote:Pictures:
- Your main picture should feature you alone, and your face should be visible.
- Other pictures can include other people, but do specify who you are in the picture.
- Do not put up pictures where you are not at all. It's a dating site, not a Facebook album.
- Do not put up pictures with your ex. WTF would you think that's a good idea?
Headline:
- Do not write "I never know what to write in those things". Think of something. It's not hard.
- Do not write "Headlines are stupid". NO U.
I am looking for:
- Not "intimate encounters". Girls do not need the internet to find "intimate encounters". Most of them, in fact, have their accounts set to automatically block messages from guys looking for "intimate encounters".
Question section:
- Do not "prefer not to say". These are simple straightforward questions that give some basic background info on yourself. Answer them. They're not asking the number of girls you slept with or the size of your wang or the hiding place of John Connor. They're asking whether or not you own a car. If you can't answer that with a simple yes/no, you've got issues.
Interests:
- Put some.
- Be specific.
- "Doing stuff" is not an interest. Neither is "taking over the world".
About me:
- Everything from the OKC profile advice applies here.
First date:
- Do not write "i dunno." Do not write "you come up with something." Do not write "we'll talk about it and decide." Do not write "whatever you want to do." It makes you look dull and unimaginative and boring.
- Everyone has a mental picture of an ideal date. Write a one or two line abstract of it.
- This section is important. It gives the other person a good idea of your personality. If your first date idea is chatting over coffee, you might not be a match for someone whose ideal first date is skydiving over a volcano while carrying an active bomb wrapped in barbed wire. See? Important information there.
Charts!
Wherein number are plotted against other numbers to look more interesting.People lie in their profiles
Older women are awesome
Pictures do matter
Men are stupid
Race does matter
leet speek is p. dum
Be specific, a.k.a. metal-loving vegetarian zombies rock
Advice
Wherein we're wise men and women. Single, sad, lonely wise men and women.
- Don't be discouraged if you've read this entire OP, looked through the thread, and sent out a hojillion messages without anything meaningful responses. Sometimes things work out and sometimes they don't, but your profile and the messages you send are only fraction of who you are, so don't take that shit to heart.
- Pellaelon wrote: "What I do get is the opportunity to view and be viewed by people outside of the areas I spend 95% of my time (work, gym, apt complex, grocery store, local bar). Maybe they contact me, maybe I contact them, maybe nothing happens. On the off chance no one messages me and no one I message ever replies it just means that I don't meet people that I would never meet in my normal life anyway. The horror! The upside is that I have a profile that is always potentially working for me while I'm doing other things like working, sleeping, watching tv, etc. For free. While I can also pursue other means of meeting women at the same time if I so choose."
- Too good looking for you? Son, let a girl figure out why she won't sleep with you. Don't do it for her.
Also, remember if you want more specific advice to post your profile link in the thread. Four or five people will usually jump right on and begin tearing it to shreds (in a good way) so you can be more successful.
Malkor on
0
Posts
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Organichu
um
i don't think my profile is all that great, and my pics are abysmal placeholders... but i'm still getting laid a lot by nice, attractive, sane women
so i guess something right's going on there
If you think it's bad, get rid of the sections you think are bad. It's better to have a very short, plain profile than a bad one. Unless it's hilariously bad.
yep
spring cleaning is in order
Obligatory profile post:
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Egonaut
your first sentence is like the worst first sentence i've ever seen
but the other sections look pretty entertaining to me
Anyway, I'm going to peruse some random profiles today and further ponder what separates the good, bad, and mediocre.
Niiiiiiiiice.
Hahaha.
Mmm, new thread smell.
OP needs that thing that one guy wrote about texting his friends with a "QUICK, ONE WORD TO DESCRIBE ME" or whatever to fill out the "things people notice" question. Or was it another question? Either way, that was solid advice.
search for your username on OKC
then link that
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/its_contagious
Do you like my profile?
[ ] yes
[ ] no
[ ] maybe
"I tend to be pretty quite at first, but I promise I'm not a robot. BEEP. BOOP."
quiet
otherwise i like it
No.
Remove "I'm sexy," "BEEP. BOOP.," "I love traveling," and "GTL with my bros."
Fixed.
I'm thinking of starting up an OKcupid profile again, now that school is out for the summer and I can hopefully avoid some of the mistakes I made last time. Good idea y/n?
It was just as general description, although it could totally roll into "things people notice" as well. So you don't feel like a cocky motherfucker pointing out all your good bits.
1. One guy flaked out on our first meeting without notice. Heh. Moron.
2. Second guy turned out to have very little in common. Real nice though!
Now I'm chatting with a third guy...
I also decided to message a couple of women who have checked out my profile multiple times over the last few months without saying anything, so far one has replied, we'll see what happens. Oddly, both of these ladies were nearly six feet tall.
It's like going to the gym, or some kind of practice. The hard part is getting there. Once you're in, it's no sweat.
Just remember, you now have a Cute and/or Sexy British Accent, so your work is halfway done.*
I sympathize, though. Moving to a totally new place is not at all fun in this sense for introverts.
*This is with the assumption you're originally from the UK as well.
Kudos on deleting the first line, but I'd also delete your current first paragraph. Or at least the marriage part. You're going to scare off girls not interested in marriage--yes, even though you say you aren't interested in it. Their eyes are going to latch right onto that word and they're going to frantically hit the back button without reading the rest.
Just my opinion, of course. But that was what sprung out at me. "MARRIAGE, WHAT. NO, GET TO KNOW A GIRL FIRS--oh wait. He doesn't want marriage."
I used to feel that way, and I now wish I'd gotten into doing this much, much, sooner.
What is putting you off doing it?
Fear of losing anonymity? It's 2011, privacy is, if not dead, on its way there. And looking for people to date is nothing to be ashamed of anyways!
Lack of experience? You don't get any, without trying for it!
Putting yourself out there is a little daunting at first, but remember, most things worth going for involve a little struggle.
The people in these threads have had some pretty awesome advice and its helped me and many other posters get better at this aspect of life, so maybe we can help you out with this.
Internet dating works. When I got divorced I used it to have a plethora of random, fun, "meaningless" interaction with random woman I'd have never met if it wasn't for the internet. "Wounds" healed.
Then I met my fiance. We've known each other a year this Sunday and spent the last 6 months living an amazing life.
Thank you internet dating. She hates admitting to others that we met online, but I tell everyone that asks. I hope it helps them as much as its helped me.
Silly/cheap/fun
Also they sell the pans or regular bottles everywhere.
make a bullshit dummy account..
that is.. what i do.
I'm beginning to think that Seattle women do not have what I'm looking for.
This is sweet.
I got a couple hits on my profile, nothing panned out though. I also checked out that "whats your price" website, found a really cute girl that lives near me... turns out that it was pictures of Raven Riley.
Nuts.
I recently received a complimentary message from a local swinger. Was a "thanks, but no thanks" moment.
tangential: i don't say this of most people but you look really good with the beard, i'd keep it
The met an actress girl for coffee on Tuesday and just spent two hours talking to her -- I've never had that much compatibility with a girl I was dating before, which is kinda scary. This is the first time in a really long time that I've wanted something to evolve into something bigger than just casual. We ended up making arrangements for a second "real" date towards the end of our first one. Monday night. It seriously cannot come fast enough.
I kinda surprised her yesterday at one of her shows -- she was doing an abstract version of Oklahoma. I don't know much about the original play, but I was pretty much floored by her performance. I never would've guessed at all that my presence there was making her nervous.
So yeah, OKC profile is pretty much unimportant to me.