Welp, so much for disabling the account. The last girl who was crazy about me tried to pull an "I'm not good enough for you" line... wonderful.
Meanwhile, I just got a message from a photo-less girl from Georgia who's in a relationship that merely said, "Hi your cute(hot)". Yeah. Now I know how girls on the Internet feel. ಠ_ಠ
Also now playing the "who's supposed to ask to meet up now?" mental debate game.
Here's how that game works:
1) Have you exchanged messages with this person?
2) If so, are you interested in meeting up with them and comfortable doing so soon?
3) If so, mention in your next message "we should get coffee" or "we should check out that comedian coming in on Saturday" or "...and speaking of dumpster diving, we should hit the landfill together on Thursday night, it's the best"
Also now playing the "who's supposed to ask to meet up now?" mental debate game.
Here's how that game works:
1) Have you exchanged messages with this person?
2) If so, are you interested in meeting up with them and comfortable doing so soon?
3) If so, mention in your next message "we should get coffee" or "we should check out that comedian coming in on Saturday" or "...and speaking of dumpster diving, we should hit the landfill together on Thursday night, it's the best"
Also now playing the "who's supposed to ask to meet up now?" mental debate game.
Here's how that game works:
1) Have you exchanged messages with this person?
2) If so, are you interested in meeting up with them and comfortable doing so soon?
3) If so, mention in your next message "we should get coffee" or "we should check out that comedian coming in on Saturday" or "...and speaking of dumpster diving, we should hit the landfill together on Thursday night, it's the best"
Also now playing the "who's supposed to ask to meet up now?" mental debate game.
Here's how that game works:
1) Have you exchanged messages with this person?
2) If so, are you interested in meeting up with them and comfortable doing so soon?
3) If so, mention in your next message "we should get coffee" or "we should check out that comedian coming in on Saturday" or "...and speaking of dumpster diving, we should hit the landfill together on Thursday night, it's the best"
Also now playing the "who's supposed to ask to meet up now?" mental debate game.
Here's how that game works:
1) Have you exchanged messages with this person?
2) If so, are you interested in meeting up with them and comfortable doing so soon?
3) If so, mention in your next message "we should get coffee" or "we should check out that comedian coming in on Saturday" or "...and speaking of dumpster diving, we should hit the landfill together on Thursday night, it's the best"
Yeeaahh, I know I should just do that. But then I'm like, well, I messaged him first, so obviously I'm interested, just not sure if he is... But he did reply twice so far, at increasing length, and there was an appearance-related compliment in there, which I'm taking as a "not replying just to be friends/polite" sign. I guess it can't HURT.
Also now playing the "who's supposed to ask to meet up now?" mental debate game.
Here's how that game works:
1) Have you exchanged messages with this person?
2) If so, are you interested in meeting up with them and comfortable doing so soon?
3) If so, mention in your next message "we should get coffee" or "we should check out that comedian coming in on Saturday" or "...and speaking of dumpster diving, we should hit the landfill together on Thursday night, it's the best"
Yeeaahh, I know I should just do that. But then I'm like, well, I messaged him first, so obviously I'm interested, just not sure if he is... But he did reply twice so far, at increasing length, and there was an appearance-related compliment in there, which I'm taking as a "not replying just to be friends/polite" sign. I guess it can't HURT.
just do it
I hate it when you get stuck in message land and everyone's too chicken to say "hey we should probably just meet up and talk in person"
Also now playing the "who's supposed to ask to meet up now?" mental debate game.
Here's how that game works:
1) Have you exchanged messages with this person?
2) If so, are you interested in meeting up with them and comfortable doing so soon?
3) If so, mention in your next message "we should get coffee" or "we should check out that comedian coming in on Saturday" or "...and speaking of dumpster diving, we should hit the landfill together on Thursday night, it's the best"
Yeeaahh, I know I should just do that. But then I'm like, well, I messaged him first, so obviously I'm interested, just not sure if he is... But he did reply twice so far, at increasing length, and there was an appearance-related compliment in there, which I'm taking as a "not replying just to be friends/polite" sign. I guess it can't HURT.
just do it
I hate it when you get stuck in message land and everyone's too chicken to say "hey we should probably just meet up and talk in person"
Yeah, its funny how many times I've been through that whole message back and forth deal, then when I suggest meeting they never respond. After you respond THAT many times I can't imagine what else they were expecting...
I've only gotten one message so far, a month after making my profile. What am I doing wrong?
EDIT: That is to say, I know there is something I'm doing wrong, but I'm just too dumb to figure out what.
You seem too mature for your age. While personally I don't consider this a bad thing in the least, you might want to add in some more youthful activities you enjoy doing. [Sadly] I don't think many 20ish girls get all that excited by philosophy and world politics.
Rami on
Steam / Xbox Live: WSDX NNID: W-S-D-X 3DS FC: 2637-9461-8549
I have to agree, you come across as being too mature. I'd really think about dropping that line about the death of Osama. That's a very heavy thing to come across at the end of someones profile, and I wouldn't think very many people would be attracted to it.
Other than that I dunno, it was only a few days ago I was asking for help on my profile. (which is serving me very well - thanks guys!)
I've only gotten one message so far, a month after making my profile. What am I doing wrong?
EDIT: That is to say, I know there is something I'm doing wrong, but I'm just too dumb to figure out what.
If you're talking about simply receiving messages unsolicited (as opposed to getting responses to messages you've sent), then I've identified your problem: You're a dude.
Also now playing the "who's supposed to ask to meet up now?" mental debate game.
Here's how that game works:
1) Have you exchanged messages with this person?
2) If so, are you interested in meeting up with them and comfortable doing so soon?
3) If so, mention in your next message "we should get coffee" or "we should check out that comedian coming in on Saturday" or "...and speaking of dumpster diving, we should hit the landfill together on Thursday night, it's the best"
Yeeaahh, I know I should just do that. But then I'm like, well, I messaged him first, so obviously I'm interested, just not sure if he is... But he did reply twice so far, at increasing length, and there was an appearance-related compliment in there, which I'm taking as a "not replying just to be friends/polite" sign. I guess it can't HURT.
You can also drop an obvious hint, something like "That sounds like it'd be a great thing to talk about more in person, if you'd be interested." But there's nothing like saying "You want to get together Friday?"
I've only gotten one message so far, a month after making my profile. What am I doing wrong?
EDIT: That is to say, I know there is something I'm doing wrong, but I'm just too dumb to figure out what.
Don't mention the "'boring old man' but in a good way" bit. You basically said you're boring in your profile so a lot of women will tune out after that.
As much as I hate to say it, take out "I just got back from a month-long trip to Pakistan. The things I saw there gave me pause. Seeing the dire straits of my own family, and of other Pakistanis who are just like them, makes me want to help in any way I can." You can mention this once you've already started talking to someone, it might be a little too harsh a thing to mention when all you're trying to do is pick up a lady.
I would seriously message you asking about where Justice ranks on your top 5 French Electronic duo list.
"Those are pretty representative of my tastes. I guess they're not particularly obscure artists, which to some might be disappointing, but I don't personally put much stock in the notion that an artist's obscurity is an indication of their merit. Basically, I'm not a Pitchfork follower." You like what you like, you don't need to explain yourself.
Have you ever thought of moving to DC? You'd fit in wonderfully here.
I deleted my old profile and decided to create a new one because, sure why not. pew pew pew
You need pictures. And your profile is rather vague and generic. You should do a search for Men in your age range (set yourself to browse Anonymously, so you don't show up in their history) and look at their profiles. You'll probably find that everyone is "easy going" and that no one "takes themselves seriously." Put it this way -- when you meet someone off of OKCupid for the first time, what are you going to talk about? What would you be interested in talking about for yourself? Are you going to say "Hi! Oh, tell you a bit about me? Well, I'm easy going, and I don't take myself too seriously." And she says... Nothing, because there's no response to that.
Your profile should hint at what you're like in person. When you meet someone, or send a few messages, it should be a natural extension of your profile.
I know of one who is over 6 feet tall :winky: and into some of the things I am onto but sadly she is only looking for people her exact age of 25 and people who live near her sigh
Also since I have bothered with my profile in sometime the last update I did the day after my father died you can see what a train wreck I created by typing in 182041 as a name
I've only gotten one message so far, a month after making my profile. What am I doing wrong?
EDIT: That is to say, I know there is something I'm doing wrong, but I'm just too dumb to figure out what.
I know people have said that it's boring and too mature. And normally I would agree that you shouldn't put all this weird and nerdy crap in there because the goal is...you know...to attract a woman.
But the whole thing is weird and nerdy. I say go with it. As you say, you don't want to misrepresent yourself. And if you're the sort who wants to mention radical Islam in a dating profile...well, that's just you.
On the other hand, I'm interested in things like political theory myself and I studied politics in university. But the only reference to this in my profile is the words "political theory" under "interests". And even that is probably too much. I certainly don't go on about dialectical materialism and whatever on a dating profile. I'm using this to try to pick up some of that sweet internet action, after all. Not topple the dictatorship of the capitalists and install a dictatorship of the proletariat.
So maybe there's something to be said about toning down the nerdiness. Not even nerdiness so much but intellectual matters. It's a dating site. And very few women are interested in politics anyway. Not to be sexist, but this is reality.
You're from Pakistan, you want to get a job at the State Department, and you lift weights. There's an adequate profile.
I've been beavering away messaging the ladies myself. Well, two. And one replied. So that's something. It was a short reply and I don't expect her to reply again but if just start sending messages out wholesale, I'm sure to get something going with somebody. Of course, that's the problem. There's not a wholesale number of women on there that I want to get something going with. But...eh...get some stories out of it at least.
but sadly she is only looking for people her exact age of 25
That is just weird.
The trend as people get older is always that the age range increases. But who only dates exactly their own age? o_O Not even kids in school do that...
Well when I was in High school it was not uncommon to have people date others in the same grade
But something I learned later was from a girl in high school. Tara was hot as a senior but she said she only dates college students because they were more mature and other reasons
I found out obviously why as I aged
I did not understand at the time but I do now was a girl I was interested in when I asked how old she was 23 she said she asked how old I was and I replied 28 she said I was too old for her
Yeah, dating people in the same grade in high school is easier just for logistical reasons (you have classes together).
The catch with dating people who are older is that they have to want to date someone who is younger. If I am attracted to an older person because I feel they're more mature, stable, whatever, they have to want to date someone who is younger because they feel they're more risky, chaotic, or naive.
Which is why appearance and looks comes into play, too :P
No, see, my point was that in high school, you're not necessarily the same age as the people in your grade. Either due to just the vagaries of the cutoff for enrolling in kindergarten, or someone skipping a grade or being held back. I've never heard of anyone have a limit of their exact age, as opposed to at least give or take a year. Not only do people sometimes date seniors when they're freshmen, but even if you're going to restrict yourself to just your immediate peers/classmates, the exact age itself doesn't mean anything. So that girl is really weird.
No, see, my point was that in high school, you're not necessarily the same age as the people in your grade. Either due to just the vagaries of the cutoff for enrolling in kindergarten, or someone skipping a grade or being held back. I've never heard of anyone have a limit of their exact age, as opposed to at least give or take a year. Not only do people sometimes date seniors when they're freshmen, but even if you're going to restrict yourself to just your immediate peers/classmates, the exact age itself doesn't mean anything. So that girl is really weird.
I have to wonder if she'll dump you on your/her birthday.
No, see, my point was that in high school, you're not necessarily the same age as the people in your grade. Either due to just the vagaries of the cutoff for enrolling in kindergarten, or someone skipping a grade or being held back. I've never heard of anyone have a limit of their exact age, as opposed to at least give or take a year. Not only do people sometimes date seniors when they're freshmen, but even if you're going to restrict yourself to just your immediate peers/classmates, the exact age itself doesn't mean anything. So that girl is really weird.
I have to wonder if she'll dump you on your/her birthday.
That's a very good point. She probably only wants people born within a 20 minute window of herself. You'd better have a copy of your birth certificate handy.
No, see, my point was that in high school, you're not necessarily the same age as the people in your grade. Either due to just the vagaries of the cutoff for enrolling in kindergarten, or someone skipping a grade or being held back. I've never heard of anyone have a limit of their exact age, as opposed to at least give or take a year. Not only do people sometimes date seniors when they're freshmen, but even if you're going to restrict yourself to just your immediate peers/classmates, the exact age itself doesn't mean anything. So that girl is really weird.
I have to wonder if she'll dump you on your/her birthday.
That's a very good point. She probably only wants people born within a 20 minute window of herself. You'd better have a copy of your birth certificate handy.
Do you think the short-form will suffice?
Gandalf_the_Crazed on
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SixCaches Tweets in the mainframe cyberhexRegistered Userregular
edited May 2011
Just bought a ring with which to propose to the girl I met on OKC.
Posts
Meanwhile, I just got a message from a photo-less girl from Georgia who's in a relationship that merely said, "Hi your cute(hot)". Yeah. Now I know how girls on the Internet feel. ಠ_ಠ
Also now playing the "who's supposed to ask to meet up now?" mental debate game.
Here's how that game works:
1) Have you exchanged messages with this person?
2) If so, are you interested in meeting up with them and comfortable doing so soon?
3) If so, mention in your next message "we should get coffee" or "we should check out that comedian coming in on Saturday" or "...and speaking of dumpster diving, we should hit the landfill together on Thursday night, it's the best"
heh
reminds me of
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A6-_cA4Ggoo
Because they are in Landfill Park
That video has a whole new significance after the Strauss-Kahn thing.
What, that we programmed an entire generation of young men to believe that a woman's rejection of their advances was just foreplay? :P
But then, Strauss Kahn is much too old for this movie...
Yeeaahh, I know I should just do that. But then I'm like, well, I messaged him first, so obviously I'm interested, just not sure if he is... But he did reply twice so far, at increasing length, and there was an appearance-related compliment in there, which I'm taking as a "not replying just to be friends/polite" sign. I guess it can't HURT.
I'm pretty sure the phrase is "my junior."
Edit: just giving a little heads up.
I hate it when you get stuck in message land and everyone's too chicken to say "hey we should probably just meet up and talk in person"
I knew something didn't sound right. There's more proof that I wasted my time getting an English degree.
Yeah, its funny how many times I've been through that whole message back and forth deal, then when I suggest meeting they never respond. After you respond THAT many times I can't imagine what else they were expecting...
Arch,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t_goGR39m2k
EDIT: That is to say, I know there is something I'm doing wrong, but I'm just too dumb to figure out what.
You seem too mature for your age. While personally I don't consider this a bad thing in the least, you might want to add in some more youthful activities you enjoy doing. [Sadly] I don't think many 20ish girls get all that excited by philosophy and world politics.
Other than that I dunno, it was only a few days ago I was asking for help on my profile. (which is serving me very well - thanks guys!)
If you're talking about simply receiving messages unsolicited (as opposed to getting responses to messages you've sent), then I've identified your problem: You're a dude.
You can also drop an obvious hint, something like "That sounds like it'd be a great thing to talk about more in person, if you'd be interested." But there's nothing like saying "You want to get together Friday?"
Don't mention the "'boring old man' but in a good way" bit. You basically said you're boring in your profile so a lot of women will tune out after that.
As much as I hate to say it, take out "I just got back from a month-long trip to Pakistan. The things I saw there gave me pause. Seeing the dire straits of my own family, and of other Pakistanis who are just like them, makes me want to help in any way I can." You can mention this once you've already started talking to someone, it might be a little too harsh a thing to mention when all you're trying to do is pick up a lady.
I would seriously message you asking about where Justice ranks on your top 5 French Electronic duo list.
"Those are pretty representative of my tastes. I guess they're not particularly obscure artists, which to some might be disappointing, but I don't personally put much stock in the notion that an artist's obscurity is an indication of their merit. Basically, I'm not a Pitchfork follower." You like what you like, you don't need to explain yourself.
Have you ever thought of moving to DC? You'd fit in wonderfully here.
I basically regret every day I'm not in the northeast. :P
Maybe once I get into a decent graduate program.
You need pictures. And your profile is rather vague and generic. You should do a search for Men in your age range (set yourself to browse Anonymously, so you don't show up in their history) and look at their profiles. You'll probably find that everyone is "easy going" and that no one "takes themselves seriously." Put it this way -- when you meet someone off of OKCupid for the first time, what are you going to talk about? What would you be interested in talking about for yourself? Are you going to say "Hi! Oh, tell you a bit about me? Well, I'm easy going, and I don't take myself too seriously." And she says... Nothing, because there's no response to that.
Your profile should hint at what you're like in person. When you meet someone, or send a few messages, it should be a natural extension of your profile.
I know of one who is over 6 feet tall :winky:
That is just weird.
The trend as people get older is always that the age range increases. But who only dates exactly their own age? o_O Not even kids in school do that...
I know people have said that it's boring and too mature. And normally I would agree that you shouldn't put all this weird and nerdy crap in there because the goal is...you know...to attract a woman.
But the whole thing is weird and nerdy. I say go with it. As you say, you don't want to misrepresent yourself. And if you're the sort who wants to mention radical Islam in a dating profile...well, that's just you.
On the other hand, I'm interested in things like political theory myself and I studied politics in university. But the only reference to this in my profile is the words "political theory" under "interests". And even that is probably too much. I certainly don't go on about dialectical materialism and whatever on a dating profile. I'm using this to try to pick up some of that sweet internet action, after all. Not topple the dictatorship of the capitalists and install a dictatorship of the proletariat.
So maybe there's something to be said about toning down the nerdiness. Not even nerdiness so much but intellectual matters. It's a dating site. And very few women are interested in politics anyway. Not to be sexist, but this is reality.
You're from Pakistan, you want to get a job at the State Department, and you lift weights. There's an adequate profile.
I've been beavering away messaging the ladies myself. Well, two. And one replied. So that's something. It was a short reply and I don't expect her to reply again but if just start sending messages out wholesale, I'm sure to get something going with somebody. Of course, that's the problem. There's not a wholesale number of women on there that I want to get something going with. But...eh...get some stories out of it at least.
Well when I was in High school it was not uncommon to have people date others in the same grade
But something I learned later was from a girl in high school. Tara was hot as a senior but she said she only dates college students because they were more mature and other reasons
I found out obviously why as I aged
I did not understand at the time but I do now was a girl I was interested in when I asked how old she was 23 she said she asked how old I was and I replied 28 she said I was too old for her
The catch with dating people who are older is that they have to want to date someone who is younger. If I am attracted to an older person because I feel they're more mature, stable, whatever, they have to want to date someone who is younger because they feel they're more risky, chaotic, or naive.
Which is why appearance and looks comes into play, too :P
Maybe this is what she meant?
I have to wonder if she'll dump you on your/her birthday.
That's a very good point. She probably only wants people born within a 20 minute window of herself. You'd better have a copy of your birth certificate handy.
Do you think the short-form will suffice?
What kind of proposal?
A completely indecent one.