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Ex girlfriend is holding my mail
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She wont send it to me, wont forward it, wont return it to sender, and wont give it to a mutual friend of ours to give to me. She is just holding it out of spite. She is currently holding government issued mail as well, stuff I absolutely must have in my possession, stuff that does her absolutely no good to hang on to what so ever.
I changed my address with the government already, but i guess it didnt go through quite fast enough for this piece of mail. I live in British Columbia, Canada just for information sake, and i want to know what actions i can take here to get her to relinquish it? I know it is illegal to just hold onto someones mail, and illegal to open other peoples mail as well. The mail is most likely a cheque and i'd like to get it, shes had it for 2 weeks now and wont give it up. She's done this in the past with mail my family sent there mistakenly after i had changed address, she actually lives 3 hour drive from me now and i had to drive all the way down there just to get the mail from family last time, im assuming this is what she wants but i REALLY dont want to see her, or waste the gas/time. I just want my mail.
Do i call the police local to her area and report this? I dont really know the steps i can take for someone illegally holding mail.
I changed my address with the government already, but i guess it didnt go through quite fast enough for this piece of mail. I live in British Columbia, Canada just for information sake, and i want to know what actions i can take here to get her to relinquish it? I know it is illegal to just hold onto someones mail, and illegal to open other peoples mail as well. The mail is most likely a cheque and i'd like to get it, shes had it for 2 weeks now and wont give it up. She's done this in the past with mail my family sent there mistakenly after i had changed address, she actually lives 3 hour drive from me now and i had to drive all the way down there just to get the mail from family last time, im assuming this is what she wants but i REALLY dont want to see her, or waste the gas/time. I just want my mail.
Do i call the police local to her area and report this? I dont really know the steps i can take for someone illegally holding mail.
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I asked her to forward it to me, she wouldn't, i asked her to return to sender it, she wouldn't, i asked her to give it to a mutual friend in town who would mail it to me, she wouldn't do that either. My only avenue would be to drive 3 hours to her door and try to get it that way, but i dont know if she would give it to me then either. She does not respond anymore to e-mails or answer my phone calls either.
Last time she did this it was a ploy to get me to come to her door, but i REALLY hate her, like a lot. She was the worst girlfriend i've ever had, and i just want her out of my life, and i just cant seem to do that because of stuff like this. All i want is my mail, nothing else, its mine, and she has no title to it what so ever.
If i were to call the police and report this, would i call the police local to her?
try this first before calling the police, unless you have some burning desire to show her that she can't just do this and get away with it
cancelling the cheque and having it re-sent will avoid the issue entirely, if that is the only piece of mail you REALLY care about. If there is no more mail likely to go to her, don't worry about it so much.
If you have only left a message, maybe she hasn't received it....very doubtful, but maybe.
Your only other option seems to be going to her place. Since it is a long drive, I would call the local police there and tell them the story and see if they will be able to go with you to her house to get the mail, otherwise you might waste a 6 hour round trip.
If you do that and get your mail, you can finally be done with her. Good luck with everything
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this. or, alternately:
Send her a self-addressed, stamped manilla envelope via registered mail. Put more than enough postage on it. Include a note to the effect of, "Please send me my mail from X agency and any other mail we discussed or I will have to pursue legal remedies." Give it a week. If you don't get that envelope back, call the police and/or the local equivalent of the Postmaster.
Basically deny her any possible excuse for being inconvenienced. She doesn't have to find an envelope, or pay for postage, or write down your address, or go to the post office, or contact a mutual friend, nothing. She just has to lick an envelope and stick it in the mail box.
Elaborate plans are fun and all, but she is breaking federal law, which is serious. The RCMP where she lives likely have an office phone number... If you want, tell me the town she is in and I will see if I can find it for you.
I hate people who fuck around with someone else's mail.
Yeah, I'd just call the police local to her then. Just make sure you call their non-emergency number.
As far as cancelling the cheque, i may be able to do that, the problem is that will now cost me money and delay the check again by probably another week or more. It shouldn't have gone there to begin with as i had already changed my address, but the Canadian government is dumb about this stuff.
Edit: I talked to our mutual friend and told him that I am going to get the police involved, he asked me to wait one more day and he would try to talk her into giving it to him again. So i told him i'd give it till tomorrow and if i still here nothing by tomorrow morning than I am going to take legal action because i am so sick of her stupid little games and shit and just want to move on.
In California, which isn't all that similar necessarily, we (law enforcement) refer people to the local postmaster for stolen mail. Since it's a federal deal, they have to handle it I guess
Have you absolutely confirmed with your friend that she handed over all of your mail to him?
It was only one piece of mail, because the government is slow on changing my address apparently with whoever sends mail out. He has it in hand and will mail it. He also said he knew that she'd flip her shit like she did and was expecting it but also understands the situation.
ufortunately hes known her a lot longer than me, and you are wrong (sort of.). He folded under pressure from her and has deleted me from facebook/steam ect but kept me on MSN and said i should make a steam group that he can join so we can still game and she just wont know about it. She is supposed to be his best friend in fact, but he also knows exactly how crazy she can be, and he actually said "I knew this would end like this, its not the first time shes done stuff like this to someone." I told him she has no right to tell him what to do and who and who he cant be friends with, and he said he just "Doesn't want to talk about it".
We are both pretty certain she has a mental illness, which is sad, but how she treats the people around her is atrocious and it shocks me she has any friends at all. I've witnessed her treat people really horribly (including this best friend of hers.) in my time with her, and she can be incredibly petty and very mean with absolutely no provocation at all. The fight that caused me to leave she just flipped out at me and i wasn't even doing anything, not even talking to her, i was just typing at my laptop and she started flipping out about money. It always seemed to be about money with her, she seems to gauge someones worth on how much free money she can get out of them, and when i stopped folding and started saving money is when we started having serious issues.
Anyways, enough about that, the problem at hand is solved and im moving on now. She no longer has anything of mine of value so she can go fuck right off and leave me alone now and i never have to see her again.
On the flip side yeah i still totally owe the guy a beer or something. Even if he is being kind of a doormat to her, i know why hes doing it so im not holding it against him. She has a young kid only a couple years old, and in my time with her i noticed he is far more interested in the kids wellbeing than he is interested in her. I actually think the kid was a strong factor in why i stayed for as long as i did and why i handed over so much money, but when i realized she was just spending the money on herself buying shit on ebay that she never used/didnt need, well people have limits. He also mentioned the big thing was I lived with her and had to deal with her nonsense all day every day, for him he said he didn't live with it and said if he did he probably would have been in my shoes as well under the same circumstances.
She wanted him to come and get it in person, burning it was not her end game (encountered people like that)
Either way, glad you got things worked out.
Its all worked out now though and shes got nothing on me now. So all has ended peacefully at this point.