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Where should I live?

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    BagginsesBagginses __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2011
    Denver is on the pretty safe side, behind NYC, Portland, and San Antonio.

    Personally, I'd recommend Cambridge (affordable by Boston-metro standards, very diverse, talked about in main urban planning thread) and Worcherster (prices are depressed by its reputation as a streaming hellhole, when it actually has a few redeeming qualities). I remember New London and Middletown being really nice when I was college hunting.

    Bagginses on
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    VisionOfClarityVisionOfClarity Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    The People's Republic of Cambridge is wicked expensive unless you plan on living pretty damn far off the T or surrounded by students. And Worcherster is a flat out nasty, nasty hole. You may as well recommend Lynn.

    VisionOfClarity on
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    bowenbowen How you doin'? Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Protip: You don't have to do anything that you don't want to do.

    If you don't like to party, don't party. I have never once in my life gone to a party, that doesn't mean I don't hang out with my friends. Aside from company get togethers and shit, your typical frat boy parties and clubbing is for people who pretty much don't have a job that isn't wal-mart. When you have to get up at 6:00 am, getting drunk and partying until midnight is... far less appealing.

    If you want to hang in your apartment and play with your action figures or work on an open source project? Fuck everyone and anyone that tells you otherwise. That's part of being an adult, telling people to go fuck themselves because they want you to do something you really have no want or desire to do.

    bowen on
    not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
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    schussschuss Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Hey, I have good friends from Lynn! (but yes, it's a hole)
    Denver is crazy safe, especially given the fact it's so spread out and a lot of areas are de-facto insulated from each other. Unless you consider drunken 20-somethings dangerous.
    Do the things you want, I see people in their 60's still partying (who never stopped), as well as 28 year olds who never really started drinking. Both are fine.

    Primer on bad neighborhoods: if it smells bad, seems mostly deserted except for bums and sketchy people, is full of graffiti & trash and every window has bars on it - it's probably a bad neighborhood.
    Good neighborhood: if there are plants, it's clean and the people look to be smiling with a good amount of foot traffic on the sidewalks, it's probably a good area.
    The key to being safe in a city is "situational awareness". Do not be staring at your phone without looking up while walking through the city. Look around you and observe the goings-on. Are you ok with them? Keep walking. Are you not? Turn around or cross the street.
    Most places are relatively safe.

    schuss on
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    SentrySentry Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    bowen wrote: »
    Protip: You don't have to do anything that you don't want to do.

    If you don't like to party, don't party. I have never once in my life gone to a party, that doesn't mean I don't hang out with my friends. Aside from company get togethers and shit, your typical frat boy parties and clubbing is for people who pretty much don't have a job that isn't wal-mart. When you have to get up at 6:00 am, getting drunk and partying until midnight is... far less appealing.

    If you want to hang in your apartment and play with your action figures or work on an open source project? Fuck everyone and anyone that tells you otherwise. That's part of being an adult, telling people to go fuck themselves because they want you to do something you really have no want or desire to do.

    This is good advice in general and terrible advice for the OP.

    Yes, do what you want, but when you find yourself being debilitated by irrational fear combined with never leaving your apartment, you are headed down a dangerous path.

    Sentry on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    wrote:
    When I was a little kid, I always pretended I was the hero,' Skip said.
    'Fuck yeah, me too. What little kid ever pretended to be part of the lynch-mob?'
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    bowenbowen How you doin'? Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Irrational would be "Fuck, ninjas are all around me you can't see them I'm fucked!"

    Rational is, "I'm going to stay inside and do what I want because fuck walking around town aimlessly and risk getting mugged."

    I live in a pretty shitty neighborhood and yeah, that's pretty much a day to day concern. But I see lots of advice about going to parties and OP is, as far as I'm concerned, not really interested in the night life, and there's nothing wrong with that. Unfortunately, living in a neighborhood where you can go out and walk without getting mugged in the 2 feet to your car is not always an option for some people. So you'll have to understand his fear.

    For instance, my trip to NYC and walking around in it was a lot less stressful for the whole day of walking than walking 20 feet to the store in my own.

    bowen on
    not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
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    SentrySentry Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    bowen wrote: »
    Irrational would be "Fuck, ninjas are all around me you can't see them I'm fucked!"

    Rational is, "I'm going to stay inside and do what I want because fuck walking around town aimlessly and risk getting mugged."

    I live in a pretty shitty neighborhood and yeah, that's pretty much a day to day concern. But I see lots of advice about going to parties and OP is, as far as I'm concerned, not really interested in the night life, and there's nothing wrong with that. Unfortunately, living in a neighborhood where you can go out and walk without getting mugged in the 2 feet to your car is not always an option for some people. So you'll have to understand his fear.

    For instance, my trip to NYC and walking around in it was a lot less stressful for the whole day of walking than walking 20 feet to the store in my own.

    No, irrational is "I need to move and the only thing I care about are the crime rates." That's like picking a place to move based on what color the buses are. Yes, it should factor into your decision (well, not the bus color, that was a tad hyperbolic) but it shouldn't be your over arching concern. That's just irrational.

    Edit: I should say, to ME this seems irrational. But then, I don't live in a terrible neighborhood. I suppose if there was a gang war outside my apartment I would probably feel differently.

    Sentry on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    wrote:
    When I was a little kid, I always pretended I was the hero,' Skip said.
    'Fuck yeah, me too. What little kid ever pretended to be part of the lynch-mob?'
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    LibrarianLibrarian The face of liberal fascism Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    bowen wrote: »
    Protip: You don't have to do anything that you don't want to do.

    If you don't like to party, don't party. I have never once in my life gone to a party, that doesn't mean I don't hang out with my friends. Aside from company get togethers and shit, your typical frat boy parties and clubbing is for people who pretty much don't have a job that isn't wal-mart. When you have to get up at 6:00 am, getting drunk and partying until midnight is... far less appealing.

    If you want to hang in your apartment and play with your action figures or work on an open source project? Fuck everyone and anyone that tells you otherwise. That's part of being an adult, telling people to go fuck themselves because they want you to do something you really have no want or desire to do
    .

    It really does not sound as if the OP is afraid to leave the house and will suffer crippling anxiety any time soon. Some people are just not interested in partying and belonging to the hip nightlife.

    Librarian on
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    EtheaEthea Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    You should also be asking if you do move can your current income level allow you to live in a safer neighborhood.

    Ethea on
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    bowenbowen How you doin'? Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Sentry, yeah I used to live in a more ideal place. Even sitting out on the lawn would terrify me shitless just because of the type of neighborhood I'm in. I can see that being a huge factor for moving. Considering we used to live in a place where you could practically leave your door unlocked every night because of the neighborhood watch.

    bowen on
    not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
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    DaenrisDaenris Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    bowen wrote: »
    Sentry, yeah I used to live in a more ideal place. Even sitting out on the lawn would terrify me shitless just because of the type of neighborhood I'm in. I can see that being a huge factor for moving. Considering we used to live in a place where you could practically leave your door unlocked every night because of the neighborhood watch.

    Yeah, OP doesn't seem really irrational to me. Maybe a bit overconcerned with crime rates over other factors, but I don't think he's being unreasonable.

    I used to live in a pretty bad area on the southside of Chicago. My immediate area was safe-ish, but more than a few blocks in any direction was really bad. If I was leaving work too late in the evening, I'd call my wife to come pick me up because there were routine muggings in the area and I witnessed the aftermath of two recent killings at the train station near my place. I managed to never directly encounter any problems outside of some particularly aggressive teens assaulting people with frozen eggs one Halloween.

    Then I moved to a great neighborhood in a close Chicago suburb and could walk all over town with pretty much no concerns. And now I live in a fairly small town with even less crime problems. While it definitely shouldn't be the sole concern in where OP chooses to live, it should be a factor, and there's no amount of money that could make me move back to the first place I lived in Chicago.

    Daenris on
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    KillgrimageKillgrimage Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    I know Boston and surrounding areas get a bad rap, especially Dorchester and the like, but MA has a lot of nice places otherwise. Are you sure you want to live in a city? Because we have some excellent suburbs, and job wise you can definitely find a nice safe apartment in a mid sized town and get work doing programming. Plus we have TONS of natural beauty, so if you are into walking/hiking, we are a good spot. Outside the cities, crime drops substantially, I have lived here all my life and never felt unsafe. Depending on what you are thinking about, I would give Mass (or at least NE) a look.

    Killgrimage on
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    bowenbowen How you doin'? Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Cape Cod is a nice place, for instance.

    bowen on
    not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
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    BagginsesBagginses __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2011
    I know Boston and surrounding areas get a bad rap, especially Dorchester and the like, but MA has a lot of nice places otherwise. Are you sure you want to live in a city? Because we have some excellent suburbs, and job wise you can definitely find a nice safe apartment in a mid sized town and get work doing programming. Plus we have TONS of natural beauty, so if you are into walking/hiking, we are a good spot. Outside the cities, crime drops substantially, I have lived here all my life and never felt unsafe. Depending on what you are thinking about, I would give Mass (or at least NE) a look.

    The state's getting pretty saturated, so prices are at the point where a lot of people would want to avoid the area if without a specific reason to seek it out (education, amenities, and cultural establishments), so you have to look for deals. Worcester has a reputation as being worse than Detroit or St. Louis, when it's only terrible by local standards, so that the area is massively undervalued. The Cape is also a good deal, as it is currently one of the few places in the state to actually lose population, and has a local perception of being wilderness/middle of nowhere, although I was under the impression that residents were being priced out by summer homes.

    Bagginses on
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    KillgrimageKillgrimage Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    bowen wrote: »
    Cape Cod is a nice place, for instance.

    Don't get me wrong, the Cape is gorgous but it is also probably the most expensive place to live in MA, if you don't count the islands. Just renting a summer cabin can be like buying a second home. Certain parts are more affordable than others, and the further inland you get, the better. Also, I'm not certain on the job market down there, as many of the jobs are seasonal/tourist related type jobs. Not saying programming work doesn't exist, I just don't think it would be very prevalent.

    I am having my babymoon down there this weekend. SO EXCITE. Gonna eat me some fried oysters.

    Killgrimage on
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    jefe414jefe414 "My Other Drill Hole is a Teleporter" Mechagodzilla is Best GodzillaRegistered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Bagginses wrote: »
    Denver is on the pretty safe side, behind NYC, Portland, and San Antonio.

    Personally, I'd recommend Cambridge (affordable by Boston-metro standards, very diverse, talked about in main urban planning thread) and Worcherster (prices are depressed by its reputation as a streaming hellhole, when it actually has a few redeeming qualities). I remember New London and Middletown being really nice when I was college hunting.

    If you are talking Connecticut, then you must have just been near the campuses. New London is a real dump. Middletown is nice near Main Street and Wesleyan (due to a heavy police presence) but generally isn't a good place. City-wise in CT, New Haven is pretty good. Aside from that, shoreline towns are good. If you are young and want to live somewhere "cool" though (not moving for a job), I'd skip CT.

    jefe414 on
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    VisionOfClarityVisionOfClarity Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    bowen wrote: »
    Cape Cod is a nice place, for instance.

    Don't get me wrong, the Cape is gorgous but it is also probably the most expensive place to live in MA, if you don't count the islands. Just renting a summer cabin can be like buying a second home. Certain parts are more affordable than others, and the further inland you get, the better. Also, I'm not certain on the job market down there, as many of the jobs are seasonal/tourist related type jobs. Not saying programming work doesn't exist, I just don't think it would be very prevalent.

    I am having my babymoon down there this weekend. SO EXCITE. Gonna eat me some fried oysters.

    The job market down there is much weaker than Boston and the nice places are really expensive. Some of the more affordable towns have some really fucked up local government issues that would make me less than confident about living there. And there's the whole there is shit to do in the winter because summer towns damn near close up shop from Labor Day to Memorial Day. Not to mention you pretty much can't work in Boston unless you're down with over an hour commute each way in traffic or riding the hellish commuter rail north.

    He'd be way better off in Boston but it would really rely on what he would be paid as to whether or not it'd be a good move for him. Boston is an amazing city, it's just a pricey one and isn't one to move to without having a job first.

    VisionOfClarity on
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