Phalla Sign Ups! Knights of the Realm, Unite!

Munkus Beaver

Welcome all to the game of Phalla! I shall be your host, Munkus Beaver.

WHAT IS PHALLA?

Phalla is a pyschological game where an informed minority (The Mafia) attempt to defeat an uninformed majority (The Village). The keys to the game are misinformation, lying, and determining when others are doing the same. The flip side is that telling the truth can be a powerful weapon, Mafia members who are well known for playing their roles straight are often less likely to be killed or found out.

Posting habits, voting habits, who you ally yourself with, all of these things go into play when determining who to trust and who to vote to die.

Ah yes, the mechanics. At the most simple form, the game is where the Village votes on who to kill each night, hoping to secure a mafia member in their net. Likewise, Mafia members chose who they want to kill each night. Mafia members can also vote in the Village, so a crafty and manipulative Mafia will use the villager to meet their own agenda.

The game is all about manipulation.

SO WHAT'S THE THEME OF THIS PHALLA? HARRY POTTER? MY LITTLE PONY? ANIME BOY JUNKIES 4?

None of the sort. It's a generic sort of fantasy world built exclusively for this game. You are all citizens of Arcadia, a country within the sphere of influence of magic, elves, dwarves, and demons known as The Realm. The Realm is currently ruled by descendent's of the Pendragon family, you are all various subjects of The Realm, each with their own unique backstory and motivations.

That's right, the important thing to note about this game is that THERE IS NO 'GENERIC' VILLAGER ROLE. You all get named roles to play. The 'special' roles have been determined using an RNG, they are already in place before you choose. People 'lucky' enough to be a 'special' will be informed of their true identity via PM.

The enemies you will be facing are all working to further the interests of The Enemy of Truth. The Enemy of Truth is, of course, a lying and evil man, so he may not have their best interests at heart.

A SAMPLING OF YOUR VILLAINS


Name: Marcoh DuPont, The Crimson Alchemist
Decription: Has three tattoos: the Alpha on his left hand, the Omega on his right, and the Sigma on his forehead. They were inscribed with ancient magic, and glow brightly when he performs rituals. Wears a large crimson cloak that covers most of his features and his ordinary leather armor.
Background: Gained his name because of his practice of forbidden magic, siphoning youth and vigor from the blood of his test subjects and transplanting it into another being. However, his methods carry the side-effect of making him particularly weak to any kind of disease or black magic. He now lurks in the forests of the realm, looking for victims to abduct and further his foul research.
Quote: Life is decay! Your blood is rotting within your very veins. Sacrifices are but coin to purchase the cure!

Name: Tarkin Mua'lib, the Butcher Knight
Description: Has one tattoo, the Sigma on his forehead. Wears dark-red armor crafted from elvish steel. Particular care was paid to the helmet, which is fashioned in the shape of a dragon's skull. He always carries an extremely large axe inscribed with multiple blood runes. He calls it "The Butcher Blade."
Background: Tarkin's story is not about a fall from grace or a tragic figure misunderstood, a rotten child grew up to be an evil man. Tarkin began his criminal history with the murder of the knight Richard Pendragon. Tarkin feigned injury to gain Richard's trust, then used the knight's own battleaxe to slice off his head. Since then the axe has been his calling card, he leaves his victims cut into neatly chopped pieces with the head resting on the remains. This savagery has earned him the name "The Butcher Knight," a moniker which he relishes.
Quote: "All you need to know is that I am superior. I am better than you, so I can do whatever I want."

Name: Samson Sandrosa, the Ogre's Storm
Description: A huge, hulking monstrocity. Has achieved a state far beyond mankind. Whatever shell of humanity he had when he was born was lost when he transformed. Dark black skin and slimey silver hair cover his gigantic body, huge chucks of teeth are jammed inconsistently along his immense jaw.
Background: Samson was once a researcher of lost and ancient magicks, longing for the day where his discoveries would make him famous across the Realm. Samson's wish was granted when he found magickal scrolls from the Underland High-Intensity Magick ruins. In an attempt to prove the authenticity of the spells he had found, Samon attempted to cast one in front of a prospective client. Ultimately, Samson botched the spell and absorbed all of the greed and sinful aspirations of the men in the room, bound to his soul by a demons heart.

Quote: "Behold: Humanity Unbound."

Name: Blight
Description/Background: A thin suit of blue armor with copper trim. The gauntlets of the armor are corroded completely with a disgusting lichen green appearance. The armor completely encompasses his body, leaving no surface exposed to the outside world. It is unknown what manner of creature exists underneath, whether man, elf, or demon. Blight has no known family, history, or background outside of its appearance in the Underlund Rebellions years ago. In the Rebellion, Blight gained a reputation for being a ruthless commander of horrific raiding parties in the southern farmlands.
Quote: "A prayer to the gods? What makes you think you deserve the attention of the gods? Do the gods hear the voice of the wheat you harvest? In truth, the gods have never heard you. All your fortune leading to this day was the fattening of a sow before carnival."

SO HOW DO I SIGN UP

Do so by posing in this thread, by posting with an exclamation point, sign up, and the number of the slot you want. All of this bold and limed. !SIGN UP 24. Sign ups are entirely first come first serve.

You can see descriptions for each of the characters in the 3rd and 4th posts following. Near the end they become shorter, this is entirely due to the fact that I was running short on time. But the main purpose is to give me something to play with on the narrations, which I will be spending a lot of time on doing.

This should all be very, very fun.

I don't think I'm missing anything. If I am, I'll add it here.

Munkus Beaver

1. Jack Smith - Weaver
2. Munkus Beerswallows - Mr. Mojo Risin
3. Irgvin Irvine - Zonugal
4. Bryce Larkwell - Tommy2Hands
5. Trinn Asper - Pharezon
6. Belle Blackwood - Zzulu
7.Basil Blackpepper - Centipede Damascus
8.Agatha Omestadt - Balefuego
9. Jon Racewether - Marth
10. Denton Royce - Thetheroo
11. Tobias Hawke The Geebs That Is A Pony
12. Joaseph DuPont - Wiet
13. Monk Ursa - Kusuguttai
14. Daxon Jackson - Monkeyfeet
15. Randall Stephens - NinjaSquirrel
16. Mirdyn Paval - Dys
17. Kristen Dermott - Taya
18. : Damon "Hack" Hammond - Butler For Life #1
19 Dibby Smeltblower - Melding
20. Lans Kartarken - Seriously
21. Anthony James Gillen V - Spoit
22. Lerrick of Harcourt - TheLawinator
23. Hogarth DePalma - redfenix
24 Dolcasta Vimes - Edcrab
25 Brenden Scholz - RMED
26 Sandra Torrance - CorpseRT
27 Majist Kendrick - Aegof
28 Christopher Occenlek - facetious
29 Simone S. Sedlav - Vann Diras
30 Nolan Tonner - JC of DI
31 Son Heimlech - I Win Swordfights
32 Darius Ploch Charles Kinbote
33 Elwood Offill - AMP'd
34 Byron Tuckerman - Faynor
35 Carey Garrahan - Blankzilla
36 Sutervik - Orikaeshigitae
37 Matthew Scorpius - Larlar
38 Jackson Delbridge - Hullis
39 Kendrick Mcmeekin - A duck!
40 Thaddeus Kolinski - Uriel
41 Bryon Ramis - MacGuffin
42 Jeffry Bemiss - SLyM
43 Armand Calicutt - Nirya
44 Darrin Warmack - Solar
45 Timmy Emwood - Campion
46 Elijah Plonka - Bugboy
47 Roman Rohrich - Beef Avenger
48 Van Alvez - Viscount Islands
49 Noah Lundblad - Sal
50 Terrence Coltrane - Blake T

RESERVES:
51 Ignacio Brost - T4CT
52 Hobblenose Rockstomp - thorgot
53 Xian Twi'Zo Zay

ZeroFill
TrippyJing
Langly
cj iwakura

Munkus Beaver

Name: Jack Smith
Description: A short, balding man with a slight paunch in his belly. He wears mismatched, mishapen armor from his head to his boots. He walks like a baby duck waddling out of a pond.
Background: The son of a tailor, Jack always dreamed of growing up to be something big. Unfortunately, those dreams faded with his hairline, and Jack spent 30 years of his life working for his father. But bit by bit, Jack managed to save up enough money over the years to purchase an entire suit of armor. Not all at once, mind you, and mostly secondhand. But the King so loved his persistence, that he finally made Jack's dream a reality as a knight of the realm.


Name: Munkus Beerswallows
Description: A short, blustery dwarf with a red beard that spreads like woolly moss across his crackled face. Always seen with a drink in hand and a twinkle in his eye, M. Beerswallows is never content sober.
Background: Born in the mines, raised in the city. Beerswallows attempted to join the watch at a young age but was kicked out on account of the fightin'. He then attempted to join the army, but was kicked out on account of the drinkin'. Ever since, he's been what he likes to call "self-employed" and has enjoyed a successful career as a professional lush.


Name: Irgvin Irvine
Description: A dishevelled and twitchy sort with a vast collection of pointy implements. His "battlescars" look suspiciously like the marks of a shaving blade.
Background: Such a bastard that even his happily married parents called him a bastard, Irgvin raided the blacksmith and left his tiny village to make a name for himself as a mercenary. When this didn't work he made a name for himself as a wandering knife salesman: it's surprisingly lucrative, counting the people who try to buy a knife in order to stab him with it.

Name: Bryce Larkwell
Description: Tall, good-natured, and not a little handsome, Bryce's seeming sole flaw is that he is absolutely, totally, and blindly a follower of alchemy. His armour is no longer flawless, having been scorched and soured by years of ill-fated experiments.
Background: When he was a young boy, Bryce was swindled by a travelling salesman into believing that hematite, in solution, cured warts. This is not the case. Nevertheless it inspired a lifelong, dim-witted obsession with the most inscrutable art. Every failed concoction pains his wealthy family further, though as the sole heir he is in a rather uncomfortable position for them.

Name: Trinn Asper

Description: An offensive, awkward woman with a knack for announcing the flaws in anything she sees. A dismal pessimist. An obsessive. A bore. She is the finest logistical tactician of her time. She has few friends yet steady employment, because someday there's going to be a siege and no one wants her on the other side of the wall.

Background: A rail thin, bookish child of farmers, Asper's obsession with all things military led her to enlist with Swampalin Raiders, undistinguished dragoons-for-hire. Here she was abused, mocked and largely ignored, until the dawn of an unremembered battle in which she informed her field general that the combination of weather, armor loadout and lack of water sources meant a sure and swift defeat. She concluded this unrequested analysis with, "Children know this." She then giggled. Asper was beaten and banished from camp. The Raiders were, to a man, dead before sunset. Asper describes her enlisted years as the happiest time of her life.

Name: Belle Blackwood
Description: Tall and thin, what some might call "lanky" and what others might call "witchy." She does not work well with others; any plan or military movement she is involved in tends to end with the enemy dead as well as her comrades due to her one-mindedness -- or madness, as others call it.
Background: They say Belle Blackwood was the daughter of a desert prince from the south. Others say Belle Blackwood was the daughter of a merchant troupe and she was sold to the devil for the price of a meal. The only thing that's known for sure is that Belle was a witch. After a love affair gone horribly wrong with what she thought was a necromancer and ended up being a magic siphon, an arcane con-man, she lost her power -- but he lost his manhood.


Name: Basil Blackpepper
Description: Blackpepper fancies himself a wizard much as a Bocaburger might fancy itself a Porterhouse. He has the wand and the pointy hat and the impenetrable beard and even the exhaustive collection of magic words, though the most impressive magicks he has wrought involve pulling a handful of rabbit droppings from his hat.
Background: Born to a rather dim woman and sired by an escapee from the local asylum who claimed to be an incubus, Blackpepper has spent his entire life learning the wizardly arts. Or trying, at any rate. He claims that his ultimate ambition is to master the arcane forces and thereafter the universe itself, but really he just wants a few words of praise from his mum. Originally named William Blount, Basil drew inspiration for his new, more wizardly name after taking a spill in his mother's spice cabinet.

Name: Agatha Omestadt
Description: A tall, heavyset young woman with a tendency to laugh at her own jokes, which are invariably awful. She smiles a lot but tends to intimidate everything short of grizzly bears.
Background: From an early age Agatha helped maintain the family home and business in the heart of the woods. When time and disease conspired to take both parents away from her, Agatha served the lumberyard as both top treefeller and manager for a number of years before selling it to a neighbour and leaving to find herself. She has the resilience of oak and a certain amount of skill with a large axe.

Name: Jon Racewether
Description: A massive cyclopian man, onlookers would swear he's at least 12 feet tall. Actually 7 feet tall, brutish, but makes up for it with his earnestness and loyalty.
Background:Born to a drunk father and a prostitute, who were legitimately desperately in love. Both of them struggled with their addictions, however, leading Jon to live on the streets. He lost an eye in a fight he refuses to talk about, earned money via a hard life on the sea to support his dear mother through the worst of syphilis. After her death, he left his ship and began wandering. He carries a hammer half his height, most likely made from the anchor of the ship he abandoned.

Name: Denton Royce
Description: He's an all around average looking man. Not overly tall or musclebound but not lacking in any of these qualities either. Denton blends easily into a crowd as if he only kind of vaguely exists, and he prefers it that way. In fact, if someone had given him the option of choosing non-existence at the time of his birth, he would have strongly considered it.
Background: All his life he dreamed of being an artist and was pretty good but not that good. In a depressive fit as a young man he made a rash and permanently life-altering decision (as young men do) and joined the local constabulary. Still, he keeps a very expensive drafting kit with him at most times and can be found with a silverpoint stylus sketching on whatever he can. For side money he draws bawdy pictures for traveling merchants and political cartoons for whatever dissident movement is popular that week. On at least one occasion he has been sent to arrest someone for something he put on paper.

Name: Tobias Hawke
Description: He is meticulous in his hygiene. Hair: trimmed. Nails: polished. Armor: polished. Hates the unexpected. Cannot stop thinking. Easily distracted.
Background: Was once a brilliant tactician in charge of the realm's 31st Calvary and the 222nd infantry platoon. After his army was devastated with heavy losses at the battle of Hargrove Ridge, he suffered a nervous breakdown. He now spends most of his time constantly cleaning himself, his house, and his equipment.

Name: Joaseph DuPont
Description: A stolid knight with a strong sense of justice. Has a very large knowledge of spells that he avoids, preferring to hit things with his sword.
Background: Younger brother to Marcoh by 23 years, grew up in awe of his older brother, but with the wisdom that time granted him came to know his brother as others do: as a murderer. At the request of a small village, he set out to hunt his older brother. Consistently doubts his ability to kill him, but forces himself to trek onward.

Name: Monk Ursa
Description: A heavy set monk who more than all other pursuits, loves to eat. Has a lopsided smile that he always wears on his wide face.
Background: Born to in the woods to parents ill-equipped to keep him, they left him stranded and he was raised by woodland creatures. Namely a family of black bears. When the monks found him, he was hunting trout in a river. They decided it would be best if they taught him the ways of the human world, and forced him to join their abbey. He had a rough couple days until he broke down and ate their food. After that he never looked back.

Name: Daxon Jackson
Description: A tall, thin man with a greying head of hair. Wears ornamental green armor polished to a bright shine. Embarrassed by his aging appearance, rarely takes off his helmet while in public.
Background: Daxon has given his best years to the Realm and is nearing retirement age. He plans on living his last days on a family farm near the outskirts of the kingdom, where he will protect crops from crows and bandits alike. Likes to reminisce about battle fought in his youth against the traveling hordes.

Munkus Beaver

Name: Randall Stephens
Description: A thin, young man. Wears a simple brown tunic. Has no identifying marks, tattoos, or scars. His soft features compliment a beaming smile and a confident posture. A little fidgety, his brown eyes rapidly move from point to point absorbing as much scenery as possible.
Background: Randall is a street urchin who has made a living through simple, short cons his entire life. His mother died when he was young and his father was slightly abusive, Randall developed a cynical view of society and only looks out for his own interests. The exception to this rule is his younger sister, who he has devoted much of his time and few resources to aiding after his father died under mysterious circumstances. Randall is by no means a fighter, instead relying on his wits to keep him alive in the bustling landscape of the Realm.

Name: Mirdyn Paval
Description: His dusty brown hair and slight unshaved face give the appearance of a youthful slacker. However, Mirdyn is a particularly accomplished knight who wears the arms of a Knight Commander on his holy plate-mail. Carries the holy sword Dyrnhydle at his side, a gift from the king after his bravery in the war against the Underlund Rebels.
Background: Mirdyn is one of four knights who underwent a secret mission into the Underlund to recover magical relics of the Realm stolen by the Underlund Rebellion. Originally thought to have been banished for 'conduct unbecoming a knight,' the king revealed the banishment to be the cover for the clandestine operation in Underlund. The mission was not without casualty, as Mirdyn's family was butchered by Tarkin Mua'lib in his absence. Mirdyn has since gone on an indefinite leave of absence to hunt down his family's murderer.

Name: Kristen Dermott
Description: A short, subdued and shy young woman with straw-like hair and a lot of freckles.
Background: Kristen likes horses. She became a cowherd purely because it was the only locally-available calling where she was expected to sit on a horse all day. From sheer force of horse-effort, she became adept with a lasso- it’s just a pity that horses are pretty much all she will ever talk about, or relate to.

Name: Damon "Hack" Hammond
Description: A gruff and wiry middle-aged man covered in scars. He has a limp and a twitchy eye.
Background: Damon's approach to swordsmanship is to let his opponent get in close and stab him, where he then headbutts them into submission while they're otherwise engaged. Friends, relatives, and medical professionals alike are baffled by how he's managed to turn this into an effective martial art. A priest once tried to exorcise him on a hunch... and got a thick ear for his troubles.

Name: Dibby Smeltblower
Description: A wirey, young dwarf with auburn hair. Dibby has numerous scars along his arms and legs from unprotected usage of his smelting devices. He carries a traditional dwarf battle-pick, useful for the mining dwarf or the dwarf at war. Wears jade goggles to protect his eyes, they stick out like headlights in his bright and brushed beard.
Background: Dibby has spent most of his life in the mountains, working metal in the mines. Recently, he sought to bring improvements to the ancient craft of smelting, much to the chagrin of the elder dwarves. Faced with the possibility of banishment for his mining heresy, Dibby abandoned the mountains in favor of a modern environment. Sadly, Dibby's genius is unfocused, and every innovation that he brings is marred by his inattention to detail.
Quote: "No, no, no. The design was perfect! It just...aha! The firing mechanism was made of flint, not tin. Yes, yes, your injuries are covered."

Name: Lans Kartarken
Description: Has long, grey hair and a short beard marred with patches of scars. Lans only has one arm, but uses it to wield a battle-hammer with extreme force. He wears a velvet cape to hide his amputated wound, matching an intricate white and red design on his regal plate armor.
Background: Lans is an old and bitter war-hero. He did not let losing his left arm to gangrene early in life keep him from his civic duty to his country, retiring from service to the Realm as a Knight-Commander. He was not content with civilian life, and has found a new career as a hired sword.
Quote: "Blood is the ink which history is writ! To alter the course of this country, you must be willing to dirty your hands."

Name: Anthony James Gillen V
Description: Anthony is obviously the model of a knight. Heroic stance. Clear, blue eyes that have obviously seen many ill deeds and stood against them, with a hidden sorrow.

And, if you look fast, the smug smile of a successful used car salesman.
Background: Born of middling aristocracy, Gillen learned at a very young age a firm handshake and an honest face win you trust. Trust wins money. Money and a dishonorable opponent win tournaments. Tournament victories win honor and money, which wins trust, and the cycle repeats.

Unfortunately, the plan was interrupted by a brief outbreak of war.

Fortunately for Anthony, it turned out that he had a natural knack for brutal evisceration, dirty fighting, and general mayhem. More fortunately, it turned out a reputation of that sort minimizes the amount of people who will risk you stabbing them in place of honorable surrender, which all improve the reputation while minimizing effort.

It's a hell of a racket, and Gillen's one real, deep seated, fear is that someone will tear the whole thing to ribbons. Still, so far so good.
Quote: "Of course. What man of good will could do elsewise?"

Name: Lerrick of Harcourt
Description: Tall, thin, wears expensive but unadorned armor. Starting to go bald, despite his young age.
Background: "First sons inherit. Second sons go to war. Third sons join the priesthood," said his father. So this accident of birth meant that Lerrick was destined for war, instead of the monastery he had always hoped for. Still, he carries with him a weather-beaten copy of the scriptures with him on campaign, and is always willing to debate the finer points of theology with someone. Anyone.

Quote: "The Vermillion heresy certainly raises some interesting points regarding the nature of the godhead, but is not supported by the words of the prophets."


Name: Hogarth DePalma
Description: A thin, pale man with a well groomed beard and slicked back hair. Wears only the finest attire meant to please the eye, not deflect an arrow. Currently favors a simple design on a sturdy tunic.
Backgroud: Hogarth is bodyguard of some renown in the right circles of the Realm. He does not protect his clientele by providing brute strength or stainless steel. His weapon is a silver tongue applied to the art of diplomacy, or gold coin across an apothecary's palm when the latter fails. His family motto is "Toxicum vel calamum"
Quote: "Whether you accept my offer or not, you shall never see me again."

Name: Dolcasta Vimes
Description: An aging, frail man who wears thin glasses perched atop a fine ridge of a nose. As a well-bred politician, his slender fingers have remained uncalloused and soft.
Background: Dolcasta comes from a line of middle-tier aristocracy. He remarks that he was born to delegate, not to rule, growing a respectful career from a minor appointed office. Not one to get his own hands dirty, Dolcasta instead relies on the services of Hogarth DePalma and Lans Kartarken to keep keep the pigs fat and the hogs slaughtered.
Quote: "Forgive me, Councillor, but you appear to be wasting my time."

Name: Brenden Scholz
Description: A tall, slightly muscular man with mild brown curls and a large nose. The sum his features is a sense of attractiveness, only modified by the mans obvious amount of charisma and charm.
Background: Scholz is a tutor, one who prepares others for battle rather than enter it himself. His young son being born has caused him to drop his dream of being a solider of fortune, and instead develops younger, more talented men and women into the Realm's elite. An incredibly intelligent, charismatic man, Scholz seeks to further his career by landing a job in the military academy to provide steady income for his family. The life of a vagabond instructor is not a good environment to raise a child.
Quote: "It's not arrogance if I can back it up."

Name: Sandra Torrance

Description: A carefree youth, regarded as being too professional for her assignments. Sandra tends to
favor drab, functional clothes to prevent attention of the unwanted kind. A length of straw-blonde hair, formerly in thick abundance, has become stringy and disheveled over weeks of deliberate neglect.

Background: Sandra was raised amongst the nobility and took a fancy to fencing. Her skill with a rapier made proceeding through the ranks a breeze, though some say her family ties did her no small amount of favors. Knighthood is an ancestral tradition, and being the eldest by many years has given her the obligation to take up the mantle herself. She has yet to see much real fighting or killing, which she considers a blessing.

Quote: "The forsaken must not forsake."

Name: Majist Kendrick
Description: A tall, mildly muscular man with short, blond hair and soft features on his face. Majist is a bit of a practical joker, constantly joking, grinning, and laughing.
Background: Majist was a simple-farmhand who worked hard from morning to night to provide for his family. After, Underlund raiders destroyed his homestead while he was at market Majist decided to help the army the only way he knew how. Never skilled with a sword, he now manages three farming plantations that provide necessary supplies to soldiers fighting on the frontlines. Secretly, he has begun to funnel some of his profits into a secret fund in order to hire mercenaries that will finally give his family vengeance.
Quote: "Alright guys, cool it down. We raise cattle here, not asses."

Name: Christopher Occenlek
Description: A red haired thirty-something with a distressing moustache and a spring in his step.
Background: After dabbling in fencing during his schooldays, Christopher decided to pursue a career in swordplay. Twenty years later and he's a renowned duelist and assassin. By his own admission his record comes mostly due to luck; outside of scheduled bouts he tends to rely on surprise, beating otherwise superior opponents while they're at a disadvantage, and he never accepts a contract unless he's absolutely certain he can best the target.

Quote: "I made a name for myself by doing everything in my power to not make a name for myself."


Name: Simone S. Sedlav
Description: A bookish sort carrying, appropriately enough, a large book and a satchel of ingredients and strange glasswear.
Background: While Simone is the daughter of a doctor and an accomplished medical practitioner in her own right, her real talent lies in toxins. Her aptitude for kill and cure (quite literally) netted her a steady series of contracts working to protect noble households from would-be poisoners. She's likable and pleasant to talk to, but no one ever accepts a gift of food from her. And her garden is completely devoid of weeds.

Quote: "Take this three times a day for the next month. Otherwise you're dead. I'm sorry to say that I'm deadly serious."

Name: Nolan Tonner
Decription: Nolan has short gray hair, dark eyes, a long nose, and a thin mouth whose corners turn down a little. He runs his slender fingers through his hair whenever he is nervous.
Background: Nolan is a moneylender. Not a successful moneylender, mind you. Nolan has the fatal flaw of all failed lenders and loaners: he has a big heart. He hears a sob story and wants to help. Nolan has not yet learned the lesson that sob stories are only half true, that everyone lie and nobody wants to admit their faults to a stranger.
Quote: "Oh yes...yes. I'm so sorry, I'll just. Yes ma'm, I'll try my best. Let's get you a towel to dry those tears, ok?"

Name: Son Heimlech
Description: Heimlech has wispy grey hair, an unkempt beard, and a stained eyepatch made of leather covering his left eye.
Background: Before the Underlund Rebellions started, Heimlech was a happy man. A preacher in a small village, he spread the word of God to any citizen of the Realm with an open ear. But when the raids started, his prayers went unanswered. He hid in a shed and watched as his friends were slaughtered and his church was set to fire. Heimlech became a broken man, a vagrant existing in taverns on the charity of others.
Quote: "I don't believe in miracles anymore."

Name: Darius Ploch
Description: Darius is never seen without his makeup. Whiteface with red circles painted on his cheeks and a thin line drawn at the corners of his mouth making a perpetual smile. His dress is bright and flashy, clashing colors of yellow and blue across. Darius is a jester.
Background: The jester for the court, Darius always speaks in some sort of rhyme or riddle. Never to be taken seriously, Darius has a habit of lying, doublespeak, and truths that are so true they are false. Life is a game to him, and he breaks the rules.
Quote: "Good sir, play the Game/Bring the girls no shame/Let theirs lives be tame/After the night you came!"

Name: Elwood Offill - A traveling juggler that has gained great renown in the various noble courts of the Realm.

Name: Byron Tuckerman - An adviser to the King, has recently come back from a diplomatic mission to Underlund.

Name: Carey Garrahan - A carriage driver that carries multiple knives and crossbows to fend off potential highwayman robbers.

Name: Sutervik
Description: A grumbling clanking giant in full plate.
Background: Often assumed to be a disgraced war hero. Sutervik likes his privacy and keeps his face hidden. He carries a huge broadsword and is found at the front of whatever army can afford to hire him at the time..

Quote: "I dont work with children or animals."

Name: Matthew Scorpius

Description: A bloodthirsty knight, with red armor and spikes. Broad shouldered, almost perpetually masked, and wields a sawblade attached to a chain in addition to a sword and shield. Black hair, cleanshaven, typically scowling.

Background: Formerly apprenticed to a wizard, Scorpius abandoned the trade due to a lack of talent and frustration with his fellow apprentice, as well as problems attracting women. Has encountered only difficulties in life, and has found the best solution to a dilemma is typically decapitating somebody. Hates magic. Considers himself to be a hero, but does not always conduct himself properly.

Quote: Inevitably, the path I leave behind me will be coated in red.

Jackson Delbridge - A young noble who is eager to prove his bravery to his family.
Kendrick Mcmeekin - A handsome knight who has seen much battle. Hates the poor, though.
Thaddeus Kolinski - An ugly, fat, short man who makes a living selling terrible trinkets to foreigners.
Bryon Ramis - Trained as a cobbler, picked up a sword and joined the militia after Underlund raiders destroyed his family.
Jeffry Bemiss - A bookish man who cannot keep his nose out of a tome. Spends his days reading books at the library sparsed with panhandling on the street, since he can't concentrate long enough to hold down an honest job.
Armand Calicutt - A fat, antisocial moneycounter that makes a living by balancing the accounts of various Underlund warlords. Has no idea why he is a society pariah.

Darrin Warmack - A traveling merchant from beyond the Realm, arrived at the country to profit from the increasing hostilities between the crown and Underlund.
Timmy Emwood - A young squire with short hair and rosy cheeks, eager to assist knights and prove himself a worthy warrior.
Elijah Plonka - A priest who preaches pacifism and the holy love of the gods to anyone who would hear him. Gifted with some healing magic, but is long out of practice.
Roman Rohrich - A disgraced elven sorcerer, had all of his magical powers stripped from him after he used his considerable abilities to date beautiful elven wenches. Has long, silver hair and a pronounced browline.
Name: Van Alvez
Description: Petite as most elves are, Van's presence is small and unobtrusive. His pale skin, from his many hours spent indoors and his once splendid robes, now faded, mark him as a young scholar. The disgraced elf has his silver hair buzzed short, and his severe eyebrows plucked. He glares at those around him with disdain, but often can be seen sitting alone, staring at nothing with longing and regret.

Background: Roman's assistant, when Roman was stripped of his title and power, so too was Van cast out from elvish society. Is extremely bitter about this fact, and resents his old mater heavily. Despises humans for not being elves.

Quote: "Kill all humans."
Noah Lundblad - A member of the Realm's council for safety and vigilante prevention. He's the guy that does the paintings for the various wanted posters across the Realm. He's quite good at it.
Terrence Coltrane - Part-time poet, full time panhandler. People are not willing to pay for his shoddy verses, but when they do chance to listen, his accomplish picks their pockets. Has been kicked out of numerous theater troupes for being a scoundrel.
Ignacio Brost - A young, well built man with raven black hair and eyes. He is a slave on the run from his former masters and currently wears the shackles of his old profession along with a dirty, loose-fitting tunic.
Hobblenose Rockstomp - An angry, old dwarf with black streaks shooting out of his white hair. One of the only dwarves to be knighted, is currently the oldest living knight in service to the Realm. Began his career under the watchful eye of King Pendragon.
Xian Twi'Zo - A prince from a distant land, originally came with a full accompaniment and guards, but they were wiped out by Underlund Raiders. Is now trying to trade favors to secure himself a ride back home.

Munkus Beaver

And we're ready to begin!

Prologue 1:

In a land of swords, betrayal, and magic, you have been selected to represent your kingdom. You do not know why you have been chosen, who chose you, or where they have taken you. . .

You are a citizen of The Realm, a proud member of the sovereign Arcadia. Recently, there has been distress in the Southlands. It is rumored that half of the Underlund country disappeared in a single night, that a demon now sits on the throne at the bottom of a hellish chasm. Whatever the cause, Underlund has suddenly begun large scale border excursions into Arcadia conducting the wholesale slaughter of your friends, your neighbors, your countrymen.

If you are a survivor of these raids, you may recall how horrific the raiders look. Their grotesque features barely visible through twisted pieces of mishmashed armor created a terrifying last image for your family to witness as they died in horror. You do not think you will ever get over the screams.

If you are a warrior who fought for the glory of Arcadia, you may recall how disorganized the Underlund forces appear to be. Individually, the raiders put up little fight, battling only with blind rage and wild swings. There are exceptions though, and the few groups that have been organized have taken a heavy toll on your fellow knights. Fear travels through the ranks as the question of which troop you will face weighs heavily the night before battle.

If you are a private citizen, as many of you are, then you know of Underlund primarily through rumors. It is said to be a hellish desert wasteland with little progress in any sorts of academics. Until recently, the ruling class of priests, viscounts, and bishops have kept fighting internal, but after the mysterious catastrophe, the conflict came to your borders. Sometimes you wonder if the evil that overtook Underlund has worked its way into Arcadia. . .

Prologue 2: The Gathering

Perhaps you were on a street corner begging for food. Maybe you were in the forest hunting game, or headed to market to pick up fresh vittles. Whatever the case, He was there.

He smiled at you as he approached with open hands and a large smile. Suddenly, you find yourself shaking His hand. You stutter a moment, starting to introduce yourself, but He stops you.

"None of that now." He smiles. "We're well beyond that point."

You nod. Of course. He is your Acquaintance. You are sure of this, more certain than you have been about anything else in your life. He offers to make you dinner. You accept.

You try to focus on the Acquaintance's appearance, but dong so brings you pain. He is wearing a cotton shirt with a cravat underneath a black silk jacket. He is very well groomed, giving a regal appearance that isn't quite aristocratic. And that bewitching smile...

"So, you know of the problem in Underlund?" You nod. "I was there at the fall, you know."

He presents you with the dinner, a meat pie made from game the Acquaintance had acquired. He takes a bite out of an apple, and continues. "The rumors are true: a demon now sits on the Underlund throne. It is very dire I am afraid. Sorry, not a demon, no. The Demon King Osa."

The Acquaintance frowns and shakes his head. "The Underlund oligarchy sought power and were found wanting. And so goes the story of how a country was slaughtered and damned in a single night. But it's a story we all know, the wheel of fate turns the same now as it always had. Where steel, sword, and war were now is replaced by souls, runes, and rituals." He takes another bite from his apple. "A servant suffers his master's hubris, whether in plains of heather or in planes of Aether."

He abruptly stops. His eyes stare deep into yours. You drop your pie and it clatters on the ground as you try to crawl away, but your vision has blurred and you cannot see the door.

"Shall we find you wanting?"

Light fades to black. You remember nothing else until you wake up on a bed of straw. Did He take you here?

Centipede Damascus

am I the first

!sign up 7

Munkus Beaver

Gotta sign up for a specific number, Cent.

EDIT: Although once it gets late enough in the game I'll just accept general sign ups for whatever roles are left.

Romanian My Escutcheon

Here we go again.

!Sign up #25.

DJ Eebs

munkus

what time will vote close in this game

Munkus Beaver

I'm thinking 10 PM Central, but I'm not married to the idea.

I need enough time to work on the narrations and post them, so I'm willing to go earlier.

Charles Kinbote

MY GOD another one already

Centipede Damascus

haha, I'm dumb

Charles Kinbote

!sign up 32

DJ Eebs

10pm is probably early enough for me to !signup 11 mostly because of the name

that 11pm central finish in the mspa phalla was NOT GREAT especially when I was trying to co-ordinate things and then go to work at 6 in the morning

Spoit

seven

MetroidZoid

:whistle:We're knights of the Realm table
We PM when we're able:whistle:

Zonugal

!SIGN UP 32

EDIT: Dammit Shank!!!

Munkus Beaver

Spoit wrote: »

seven

Seven is taken.

Spoit

centipeeeeeeeeed

21

Charles Kinbote

Zonugal wrote: »

EDIT: Dammit Shank!!!

Don't be cross, you gallant lad
Why look down, it's not half bad
Near fifty folks you could still be
This was for the best, you'll see

redfenix

!Sign up 23

Zonugal

!SIGN UP 3

Aegof

!Sign up 27

Charles Kinbote

I have got the absolute highest expectations for this phalla

I mean

this is incredible

NinjaSquirrel

!Sign up 15

Dys

!SIGN UP 16

Dys

By the way, good show Munkus.

Every character having a unique setup/background is absolutely staggering for this sort of thing. You have my applause.

redfenix

I have always been at least competent at mafia games in real life; I've hosted numerous of various themes and such quite successfully

but i haven't phalla'd on here, so i have considerable trepidation

also shank, quit following me into other threads

Zonugal

I have never made it even remotely far in any mafia game in real life. I tend to be a pretty eccentric character so if I am eccentric I am targeted & if not I immediately look suspicious. Couple that with the fact that I look like a cartoon villain and well...

Romanian My Escutcheon

I was going to make a joke vote against Zonugal, but I'd like to think I learned my lesson after the MSPA Phalla.

Zonugal

I'll bury you Romanian.

Larlar

Holy shit, munkus.

!sign up 37

Munkus Beaver

Dys wrote: »

By the way, good show Munkus.

Every character having a unique setup/background is absolutely staggering for this sort of thing. You have my applause.

Thankee.

It will make narrations a blast.

Romanian My Escutcheon

So long as it isn't with those atrocious green pants. 8-)

Zonugal

I'm so happy to be playing apparently the bastard of the village.

Munkus Beaver

And I cannot take all the credit for all the work done on the characters, various members of the forum volunteered and developed many of the characters.

To see who is responsible for what, check this thread: http://forums.penny-arcade.com/showthread.php?t=140934

Charles Kinbote

Romanian My Escutcheon, Doxy wrote: »

I was going to make a joke vote against Zonugal, but I'd like to think I learned my lesson after the MSPA Phalla.

the lesson was "don't be evil"

Zonugal

Charles Kinbote wrote: »

Romanian My Escutcheon, Doxy wrote: »

I was going to make a joke vote against Zonugal, but I'd like to think I learned my lesson after the MSPA Phalla.

the lesson was "don't be evil"

What ever happened with my 'character' in that game?

Larlar

Munkus Beaver wrote: »

And I cannot take all the credit for all the work done on the characters, various members of the forum volunteered and developed many of the characters.

To see who is responsible for what, check this thread: http://forums.penny-arcade.com/showthread.php?t=140934

I'm assuming you're being facetious and I have no time to click on frivolous links. Congratulations on doing it all on your own, without help of any kind.

Dys

I just realized an interesting possible view on the character I picked: the slightly unkempt guy with a named weapon, and a personal mystery he left the main authoritative power for?

Hell, he could practically be the badass detective out of the whole crew.

redfenix

This seems totally and completely awesome