H+

Local H Jay

i got super stoned and microwaved a bag of popcorn. i forgot it was in there and started eating it 20 minutes ago. about halfway into the bag i noticed black things under my finger nails...
weird, because the popcorn wasn't burned.
the inside of the bag was covered in dead ants. tiny black ones.
probably eating the butter or something and then got cooked alive in my snack food.

YUM

Seriously

Protein!

I've actually never eaten ants

laughingfuzzball

duuuuuuuuuuudes I am so high right now

like, whoah

Dichotomy

you eat those ants

there are starving anteaters in africa right now

ThreadbareSock

Once when I was a little kid, I tore a loose tooth out. It wasn't totally ready to leave my mouth, so there was a little bit of flesh left on it. I left it on my night stand and the next morning I woke to find ants were eating the flesh.

Zay

Ants are considered delicacies in some parts of the world.


the gutters.

Kochikens

at least they weren't alive

GeoMitch

grody, bro

maximum chummage

Macera

Dichotomy wrote: »

you eat those ants

there are starving anteaters in africa right now

you mean South America

ThreadbareSock

Also, once when I was a kid I left half a glass of lemonade on a windowsill when I went to bed. I woke up thirsty in the middle of the night and took a swig of whatever glass of fluid was within arms reach.

I realized something was tickling my face and rubbed at it. The tickling was now on my hands and my face.
At this point, I turned on a light and found ants all over the glass of lemonade, my hand, and crawling all over my face and in my mouth.

As if sugary drinks needed more reasons to be a bad night-time drink idea.

Ubik

there's bug parts in most food you eat

Zay

Never eating again.

Dichotomy

Macera wrote: »

Dichotomy wrote: »

you eat those ants

there are starving anteaters in africa right now

you mean South America

look it's south of me and poor people live there, close enough

ThreadbareSock

American food culture is silly when it comes to bugs.

Tox

Alright, so I'm licking this girl's ass, y'know? And suddenly she turns around and looks at me, and she's all, "Do I know you?" So I start looking around, and suddenly it dawns on me, I'm in the wrong line at the bank!

Local H Jay

ThreadbareSock wrote: »

Also, once when I was a kid I left half a glass of lemonade on a windowsill when I went to bed. I woke up thirsty in the middle of the night and took a swig of whatever glass of fluid was within arms reach.

I realized something was tickling my face and rubbed at it. The tickling was now on my hands and my face.
At this point, I turned on a light and found ants all over the glass of lemonade, my hand, and crawling all over my face and in my mouth.

As if sugary drinks needed more reasons to be a bad night-time drink idea.

i just puked and then repuked
http://www.free-smiley-faces.de/puking-Smiley_Smilie-kotzend/www.free-smiley-faces.de_puke-smiley_smilie-kotzen_01_800x800.gif

#pipe

When I was a kid, I settled down in the couch with a nice fresh bowl of rice crispies (or rice bubbles as we call them down here)

and I noticed one of the bubbles, half submerged in milk on my spoon was a lot darker than the others. I figured it was just a little burnt so I went ahead and ate the spoonfull

turns out it was a cockroach egg

Zay

I'm gunna post a thing.

Here it goes.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zGWEa3mDFqw&feature=channel_video_title

Dichotomy

and that's the story of how pipe died and became a puppet of flesh maintained and operated by hundreds of cockroaches working in unison

Macera

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OhOGQINu0lk

ThreadbareSock

Dichotomy wrote: »

and that's the story of how pipe died and became a puppet of flesh maintained and operated by hundreds of cockroaches working in unison

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xtOkNZK-m4A

Dichotomy

let's all talk about how great a movie men in black is

#pipe

Dichotomy wrote: »

and that's the story of how pipe died and became a puppet of flesh maintained and operated by hundreds of cockroaches working in unison

nah.

I bit down.

those baby cockroaches died between my teeth

DodgeBlan

thats what ants get for eating human food

Dichotomy

or maybe that's just what you want us to think

Weaver

That's an unfortunate occurrence. It is nothing near vomit inducing. Best luck getting your purchase comp'd.

Also don't make threads about being stoned you dickgoose.

Tossrock

so were they tasty or what

don't leave me hangin here man

Weaver

Tossrock wrote: »

so were they tasty or what

don't leave me hangin here man

Local H Jay

Weaver wrote: »

That's an unfortunate occurrence. It is nothing near vomit inducing. Best luck getting your purchase comp'd.

Also don't make threads about being stoned you dickgoose.

it wasn't really about being stoned, i only mentioned it in passing. the content is the gross shit that happened. if anything, this is an anti-marijuana story because if i was not high i might have noticed the gross shit i was eating.
but hey call me a dickgoose

Weaver

dickgoose is a pretty great phrase

ThreadbareSock

Dichotomy wrote: »

let's all talk about how great a movie men in black is

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i7ebfrcv4tc

Fyndir

This thread did not deliver the promised purging of my stomach contents, I want to speak to the goddamn manager.

ThreadbareSock

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Rfd_8dPLYw

love dis opening

Godfather

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qi7Y121LgY0&feature=relmfu

DodgeBlan

my fellow stoned americans

Druhim

that's a really lame story H Jay

HyperAquaBlast

Yeah good job Local H! Your pot head fail story failed to make a 40something internet man vomit everywhere as soon as he woke up and started foruming.

Druhim

see the story's ironically good because something about my age since HAB can't think of anything that's actually clever

HyperAquaBlast

Hey good job Local H you made HAB say something unclever cause of your now ironic good story!

Druhim

nah, Local H doesn't deserve the credit for that
you're just inherently dull and insipid

HyperAquaBlast

Oh no! My self esteem!